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AliceScoot in Wonderland x_X
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
Eponine - Les Miserables
last modified Nov 26, 2005 at 20:54
Those of you who have read and enjoyed the Catcher in the Rye, you may remember the part where Pheobe asks Holden to name one thing that he truly likes. And when I read that part, I tried to think of one thing that I truly liked, and I couldn't think of anything. And now I have. It's more of a bunch of things that are one thing. I don't really get it either. But it's walking around bare foot for five hours with my pants rolled up. It's playing basketball wearing nothing but my boxers with someone wearing a glow-in-the-dark thong. It's having to go home commando because said boxers got wet in the shower which I took after being in the sauna. It's watching a movie that we've all seen a gagillion times, and still enjoying it, because it's different everytime. It's curling up in your friend's lap while sitting beside a camp-fire, and making numerous sexually perverted comments, and singing our favourite (and some not-so-favourite) songs. It's freaking out Marie's brother by telling him that more than half of the people he's sitting with are gay. It's laying in a hammock in the middle of the night with three other people. It's things like that.
So my name is called on the announcment this morning to go and get my laptop in Lab 2000. So I go there.
And Ryan opens the door, and he's like, "Well, we haven't done your laptop yet, so I don't know why your name was called... but hmm... let's randomly take a look at your computer which happens to be sitting here with a stickynote on top..."
Anyway, it turns out that half my drivers are missing, and the other half won't load... o.o
And for some reason, MS word keeps trying to re-install itself, and it can't be cancelled... >.<
So I'm like, "Let's just repartition it... much easier than fixing this"... and Ryan's like, "Yeah okay..."
... *explodes*
k bye
yeah... so... I'm going to try and get back in the blogging habit now.... but it's gonna be hard cuz I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY LAPTOP BACK YET!! lol
It's already been two weeks...
Anyway, I saw STEVE at WENDYS today o.o;
And that was about all that happened to me today... o.o
oh yeah, and apparently Nat is my dad, because I'm apparently Jesus, and since she's God, she's my dad. And my uncle is Scotty from STar Trek, and he raped me when I was little... o.o
Will he ever reach for It?
It's so close that he could stretch out his arm and take It.
But he doesn't, and only he knows why.
Why does he hesitate? With only three small words, he could attain Perfection.
Yet he doesn't say them; he doesn't take what he wants.
God, why doesn't he just take what he so desperately wants?--what he needs?
It's ripping him apart that he won't hold Perfection in his arms;
that he's knowingly letting It drift away from him.
But when It's at the very end of his arm's length, he throws himself at it,
For it was when he realized he was about to lose It, he also realized that It was all he wanted,
And no amount of anything else could ever fill the void he'd feel if he were to give up on Love.
He didn't care that he'd be throwing away everything else he had,
Even if it was only for a CHANCE to have Perfection forever.
And that was the only concern that had once caused him to hesitate: that once he had It, It wouldn't want him.
But to have not reached out, and to have been plagued by Uncertainty: the not knowing of It's wishes,
would have been far worse than if he had leapt--which he had already done, by this point--only to be rejected
and left with nothing except the knowledge of what It wanted.
Yet it would seem his earlier skepticisms were unjustified, for when he dove for It, arms out-stretched,
he was accepted, and embraced in the warmth of Perfection.
And he couldn't have been happier to have nothing but Love.
THIS IS THE ROMANCE TEST....HOW
ROMANTIC
R U? GET A PIECE OF PAPER AND
NUMBER
IT 1-11 (NO CHEATING)
SEE YOUR RESULTS AT THE END OF
THE
TEST.
WHEN YOU SEND IT ON PUT YOUR
SCORE IN
THE SUBJECT BAR.
1. WHAT SHADE OF HAIR DO YOU
HAVE?
a) Dark
b) Light
2. OUT ON A DATE WOULD YOU WANT
TO:
a) Go to a party?
b) Go out to eat?
3. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR
OUT OF:
a) Baby-Pink
b) Yellow
c) Baby-Blue
d) Turquoise
4. PICK YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBY OUT
OF:
a) Surfing
b) Skate-Boarding
c) Skiing
5. IF YOU COULD PICK A STORE OUT
OF THE
FOLLOWING, WHICH WOULD IT BE?
a) Louie Vuitton
b) coach
c) againt all odds
6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE
OUT OF
THE FOLLOWING?
a) hawaii
b) London
c) florida
7. IN THE SUMMER WOULD YOU
RATHER GO
TO:
a) The Beach?
b) Somewhere Cooler?
8. WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH?
a) January
b) February
c) March
d) April
e) May
f) June
g) July
h) August
i) September
j) October
k) November
l) December
9. WOULD YOU RATHER:
a) Chill at home
b) Go out with friends
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE
INSTRUMENT
OUT OF:
a) Guitar
b) Bass guitar
c) Drums
d) The Triangle
11) NAME A PERSON OF THE
OPPOSITE SEX
====NOW MAKE A WISH!====
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*******
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*
*****!!!!!*STOP*!!!!!*****
**ANSWERS** > > > >
1. a. dark= sexy [5points]
b. light = sweet [2 points]
2. a. go to a party = playful [2 points]
b. go out to eat = romantic [5 points]
3. a. baby-pink = cute [2]
b. yellow = loud [3]
c. baby-blue = cool [5]
d. turquoise = sexy [5]
4. a. surfing = active [2]
b. skateboarding = determined [2]
c. skiing = daring [5]
5. a. Louie Vuitton = tasteful [7]
b. coach = laid back [2]
c. againt all odds = stylish [5]
6. a. hawaii = you like being around
people [2]
b. L.. You are quiet, and like the
cold [2]
c. florida = You like to party! [5]
7. a. beach = tan, likes the sun [5]
b. somewhere cooler = pale and original
[2]
8. a. January = popular [5]
b. February = lovely [2]
c. March = loud [2]
d. April = playful [5]
e. May = happy [5]
f. june = chills a lot [5]
g. July = smooth [2]
h. August = fun [5]
i. September = quiet [2]
j. October = out-going [2]
k. November = pimpin' it [5]
l. December = warm [5]
9. a. home = quiet, romantic [5]
b. go out with friends =crazy [5]
10. a. guitar = eye-catching [5]
b. bass-guitar = mellow [2]
c. Drums = loud [2]
d. Triangle = crazy [5]
11. This person will fall in love with you!
SCORES!!!!
UP TO 17= LOUSY GET A LIFE MAN
18-20=OKEY
21-35 = Rather ROMANTIC
36+ = SUPER ROMANTIC... U ROCK !
NOW REPOST THIS IN THE NEXT 2
MINUTES
AND YOU WILL HVE GOOD LUCK WITH
YR ANSWER FOR NUMBER 11
MAKE SURE YOU WRITE
YOUR SCORE IN THE SUBJECT......!!!
you can't interact with it
Danchan didn't like the code so I took a pic of it...
click here to see what kind of llama YOU are
haha it's only a week to my 16th b-day!! YAY
so... omg I have a job!!!!!!!!!!!!
at WENDYS
yay
WOW haha yay for me!!
A few days ago I handed a resume in at Zellers and today at 8:30AM I got a phone call (which my mom had to wake me up to take), and they asked me to come in for an interview. Well, the woman (Christina) asked me a few questions, and then at the end said she recommened I go immediately to a second interview. o.o;;
SO... I had a second one with someone else (Karen) and then she said they'd phone with within a couple days to tell me if I am hired or not.
And just when I got home, the phone rang, and it was the Wendy's Restaurant on Regent (where I had also handed in a resume), and they want me to go in for an interview too, tomorrow at 1PM!!
So yay for me!!
I hope I get a job...
HAH... my dad finally clued in that he's an asshole, and all I can do is LAUGH!!
MUAHHHHAHAHAAH...
*does a devilish dance*
You're gonna go to the record store/ you're gonna give 'em all your money
k yeah so my 16th birthday is july the sixth and I have to have a party..so yeah guys, let me know if you can come on the sixth, and if you can, i'll send you directions and w/e... so yeah... kk
ANYWAY
I got my timetable for next year and wow... o.o;;;;
Semester One:
Period 1: Bio
Period 2: Physics
Period 3: Law
Period 4: English
Semester Two:
Period 1: Chem
Period 2: Comp. Eng.
Period 3: Tech
Period 4: Math
Don't give us none of your aggrivation/ we've had it with your discipline/ Saturday night's alright for fighting/ get a little action in...
O...M...F...G...
Rocky Horror Picture Show is now my favourite movie above everything else... *multiple orgasms*
Totally obsessed with it... omg... i love it... lkasdjfklasj
If you haven't seen it, tell me, so I can FORCE YOU TO WATCH IT!!! omg
I bought it YESTERDAY and i've already watched it five times... omg
yeah... hehehehehe
"you're wet"
"yes; it's raining..."
anyway, that's all i can think to write about for now... so... kasdjflj
Let's do the Time Warp again...
http://download.ifilm.com/qt/portal/2672935_300.mov
OMFG this is the funniest fucking thing EVER!!! omg I cried laughing... really
anyway, I haven't posted in a while due to THREE final assignments at once... that I put off when I probably could have been working... but PS2 looked more appealing at the time... o.o; yeah
anyway... omg has ANYONE seen the movie "Monster" with Charlize Theron... based on the life of Aileen Wuornos... ... GREAT movie... anyway...
i'm out...
Just a small-town girl/ livin' in a lonely world/ She took the midnight train goin' anywhere...
EDIT: I'm editing this a day later... 16th.. cuz I don't want to get rid of the link to the video clip... ... a little bird told me that some people are reading my blog and are apparently not liking what they see... o.o Tough cookies to them, this is my personal thoughts site, and if people don't like what they see, not my problem!! No one's forcing them to read it
yeah... so... yay for new thing at the top of my blog... a quote from may payne... possibly the best game(s) ever written... (there's two of them.. Max Payne, and ... Max Payne II XD)... it's great not only because of the story line, and not only because of the features of the game, but because of that quote and many others from it...
anyway...
lol kait I handed in a resume at huckleberries!! haha i'd laugh if you got fired so that I could be hired XD lol cuz you know, I'd be just that loved by them ... o.o;
lol
anyway... I'm supposed to be getting a guitar for my birthday, but my mom got mad at me today and was like RAWR and said sth like, "We'll just have to see about that..."
so ... but if I do, apparently I'm starting a band with kayla o.o; lol yeah... and then yeah o.O;; LOL
XD
anyway.. i'm hyper but have no energy.. omg
the other day i was asked what my favourite song is... that's a hard thing to pick... I did pick one, but then said "followed by these..." lol i'll list them because I have nothing better to do... yay
-> Paradise by the Dashboard Light - Meatloaf
then
-> I'll be Missing You - Puff Daddy f. Faith Evans
-> The Reason by Hoobastank
-> I Don't Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
-> Bright Lights - Matchbox 20
-> I'm so Sick of You - Robin Black and the Intergalactic Rock Stars
-> I'll be - Edwin McCain
-> Jesus of Suburbia - Greenday
-> Another Innocent Girl - Alkaline Trio
-> Everybody - Stabilo
-> Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead
-> Lightning Crashes - Live
-> Lazy Jones - Slumgud
-> Lost Without Each Other - Hanson
-> Scars - Papa Roach
-> Put Your Head on My Shoulder
-> The Way You Look Tonight
-> Crazy Little Thing Called Love
-> Celebrity Skin - Hole
-> Helena - My Chemical Romance
And so many more that it's unbelievable... XD
He likes to act like he's all grown up/ he wanted to grow up to be an actor/ but he never told anybody
Well well well...
after lots of thought I've did some reading and found that, according to Deena Buster, that the best thing to do when your single and looking is to say:
I'M FUCKING LOOKING!!!
and that I should say these things...
My favourite five bands are: Green Day, Simple Plan, Our Lady Peace, Good Charlotte, and Bowling For Soup. (BIG PUNK lmfao)
My favourite five movies are: The Girl Next Door, Eurotrip, Chicago, Kill Bill 1&2, Finding Nemo..
My favourite five TV shows are: 24, House, Simpsons, Family Guy, ALL STAR TREKS
My favourite five books are: PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER (stephen chbosky), Romeo & Juliet, Bag of Bones (stephen king.. i like all stephen kingg, actualyl), Lord of the RINGS, [do magazines count?]
My favourite five people are: Elijah Wood, Justin Timberlake, Colin Ferrell, Billie-Joe Armstong, Shane West (heehee)
Other favourites: ELLEN DEGENERES i love her she's so funny... and.. uhh... I like PS2; i'm a HARDcoRE gamer lmfao... MUSIC MUSIC and MOVIIIIEEEESSS... umm.... yeah....
Who am I looking for?: urg... someone who's funny.. and loves music and movies as much as i do... and someone who's smart... and good-looking LOL... o.o;;;... **sighs** yeah...
anyway... for more indepth info visit my myspace profile at www.myspace.com/palbsss
and people, even though you probably won't,... spread word to people you know... even though it won't do any good.. there's only fucking 10 gay people in sudbury... and they're already dating each other >.< stupid town..
Okay... reply to this... and in your comment/reply say what your opinion on each of these issues is and why.
1. Abortion
2. Homosexual Marriages
3. Euthanasia
4. Cloning
5. Creation Science Vs. Evolution
6. Animal Rights
7. Gun Control
8. Legalization Of Marijuana
9. Violence in Schools
I'm very interested to know what you think. Please let me know. ^_^ I have commented to this, posting my views, too... so ... YOU DO IT NOW.. haha do it o.o; k
Make sure you read the first one, too, cuz it's funny!
Anyway, I just got back from the movies, where we saw Star Wars III. I don't know what the big hoopla is... it was okay, but... meh...
But the funny part is... we were supposed to meet at six-ish... and I was the first one there... and I waited for about 10-15 minutes until people showed up.. but while I was waiting, these three girls came up to me, and one them was all flirty and asked, "Hey, what's your name?"
And I said, "Scott," but she thought I said Sean.
"So, Sean, what school do you go to?"
"Lockerby."
And then one of the other girls says, "OH my sister goes to Lockerby!"
And then I was like... "heh... how neat" and walked away...
Then I finally met Travis, and while we were waiting for the rest of the people to show up, the same three girls come up to us and are like "do you guys have any smokes?"
All the while, I was tempted to just be like, "Stop hitting on me, I'm with my BOYFRIEND," and grab trav.. but... lfmao i didn't xD
So after the show, I get on the bus, and no one else came on with me.. so I was looking for a seat when this person sitting beside where i was standing pokes me!.. and i'm like WTF! and i look down and it was Jessica Brisson.. if you know her, yeah... if you don't.. meh... but I just ignored her, and it worked out fine.. lmfao
and then I'm waiting at the bus station... and I'm randomly strolling around and then BAM there's Anne, Devon, Chrissie, and this guy named Josh.. xD yeah.. so yeah... anyway, I met a quite a few people I knew tonight... oh lol and yeah while I was waiting with anne and dev and other ppl, Maddy Helpert and some of her friends were walking around.. but we didn't talk to THEM... at least that I know about o.o;;
Regs:afasp'fafsfawe
Regs:?
Scoot:gjiow53hioehj
Scoot:like, duh! :P
Regs:Oh my God!
Regs:dfihafladlcnadlvknseroghsrv;lkndkghao;ilvjnao;ghnavns. Idoihaoigjsnvaslkgjna. eghiaifl P! kldjzlkgja ??
Scoot:NO WAY!!
Regs:YES WAY!!
Scoot:Okay. Well, if I must. Where do I find the gun?
Regs:Come to my house. I will give it to you. Then all you need to find is some solder.
Scoot:**opens his sock drawer**
Regs:*laughs* Find any?
Scoot:**searching**
Uhh... let's see what we've got here:
Sack of doorknobs.
Fake passports.
Foreign currency
SOLDER ^_^
—oh, I don't need to use your gun now...
Fluffy pink hand cuffs
underwear
leather underwear
Scoot:that's about it
POST YOUR ANSWERS!! hehe... and then steal it! hah hah... [my answers are posted as a comment, if you care to read them XD]
A - Age you lost your virginity?
B - Band listening to right now?
C - Dream Car?
D - Dads name?
E - Easiest person to make laugh?
F - Food you miss most?
G - Any encounters with ghosts?
H- Person most hated at the moment?
I - Interesting unknown fact about yourself?
J- The first letter of the last person who broke your heart?
K - Kissing with eyes opened or closed?
L - Last time you did LSD?
M - Most memorable moment you can think of in a minute?
N - Nicknames?
O - What's the most valued possession?
P - Poison of choice?
Q - The last quote you heard:
R - What are you allergic to?
S - Song you sang last?
T - Time you woke up?
U - Fav. pair of underwear?
V - Vegetable you hate most?
W - What are you the most afraid of?
X - X-rated love life?
Y - Year you were born?
Z - Zodiac sign?
I... want... to... die...
or at least, sleep... which I can't seem to do very well lately... o.o; and for those of you worried, no I don't want to kill myself.
but yeah... for those of you who think that i've been really depressed for the last little while or whatever... yeah, actually, I have been XD
for some reason I have been totally physically exhausted for the past coupel weeks, and as a result, I've lost most care that I once had o.o;
and when I tell my mom, she says, "Let's wait and see what happens with it." O.O
yeah... oh, lol regan, where'd you get that desktop calander-y thing? lol
yeah... I'm sure theres more to mention, but I don't feel like it right now...
Until the day I die, I spill my heart for you...
GO HERE!!
guys, omg this is the funniest thing ever...
it's a review on britney spears' new show, Chaotic.
It's hilarious. XD
yayayay... 50 days till my 16th bday now!! omg
anyway... friday after school, I officially 'faggot-ized' my locker... it now has poster and pictures of people such as shane west, justin timberlake, and GC.. .and there will be Greenday in there come Tuesday...
yeah... last night I went to a show at the Knights of Colombus hall thing... yeah... it was okay... XD hi-deaf was there... all I have to say about that is that I want to rape Gilles... o.o;
anyway, I went shopping today with anne... yeah...
the plan was to buy black nailpolish and a belt... I came home with 6 CDs and candy o.o; XD!!
Yupp... I got both simple plan CDs ... **orgasms**
and the other four Our Lady Peace CDs that I didn't have... so now I have all the OLP CDs
XDXD yayay
kk im out bye
I love you, always forever/ near and far, closer together/ Everywhere, I will be with you/ Everything, I will do for you
well now...
I'm in the library, "doing my Careers work" which I can't do in class because the Tech people, after my numerous requests, still haven't done anything about my MAC being blocked on the router (yet again...)... so now I've given up, and settled for no internet in class... I have games.... and music... but no MySpace!!... AHH.. yeah...
BOOOORRRING...
omg today I've been told by people that I look like LEX... O.O;; because apparenlty we both have the "tough guys wear pink" shirt and according to amanada, my jeans look like a pair of jeans that he has... so apparently I'm a "Lex-poser", as Adric so put it... SORRY LEX >.<;
yeah... yay playing at grad thursday... that should be fun... o.o;
lmao I LOVE pomp and circumstance sooo much, especially when lesk makes us play three times in a row... o.o; >>
Hmmm.. I think I was supposed to go back to class before the announcements... but ... balleny's talking, and i'm still here, so... oops.. XD!! oh well caddel likes me...
kk i'm out..
okay so i was in the waiting room at the dentist's... and me and my mom were waiting, and this old lady like 80 years old (seriously) came out and she sat down beside her husband who had been waiting for her and was just as old and she says she wants to sit there for a few minutes cuz she wasn't feeling all that well, and thought it was cuz of the dentist-ing stuff. Well, after a few minutes, she said she was ready, and that she needed help getting up, and her husband coudln't help her cuz he was too old and weak. So the nurse-lady person went to help her up, and finally the old lady got up, and then when she went to walk, she couldn't get her legs to move, so she sat back down, and started complaining about the cold... it was a waiting room, it was hotter than a sauna in there. So the secretary came over, and felt her hands, and apparently she was as cold as ice, and her skin was all pale and white... so the secretary went to the Dentist and he said that he wouldn't call her an ambulance unless she requested it, but she said she didn't want one. but then she started having trouble breathing, so they got out an oxygen tank for her, and then the dentist finally said that the secretary could phone an ambulance for the old lady.. and then it came.. and I don't know what happened with her or if she's alright or not o.o;;;;
Yeah... well, for those of you who don't know, I had to have my dog put to sleep on Wednesday night... T_T
Anyway, yesterday, my mom says, "We're getting a new puppy." And an hour later, she bought one. Yeah.
And then when she brought it home, it turned into a little spazy ball of fur and bit my mom so she brought it back.
lol yeah...
Anyway, who here has read the book, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower?"
If you haven't, I highly suggest that you do, because it is by far one of the best books I've EVER read...
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie reminds me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that i've always wondered about you.
08. I will tell you what gesture I would make to honour you.
09. I'll then say what random item I can find in my room that reminds me the most of you.
10. I'll also mention what part of your body I would bite.
11. And what instrument you are.
12. And what swear word you would be.
13. And what school subject you are.
14. Put this in your journal.
everyone... omg...
http://search.launch.yahoo.com/launch/search/?p=bright+eyes&m=video
go there, and then click "first day of my life" in the videos section.... omg this is like officially my new fav. song and vid... omg **heart melts**
they're all listening to the song in the headphones... and there's like.. two girls... and two guys... and a DOG!!... and a husband and wife and their baby... and... and...a single mom who's pregnant with her baby (and she has the other headphone ON HER STOMACH)... T_T... omg... and then the couple at the end... omg... **dies**
T_T and then there's the old lady who's thinkin of her dead husband... and then the YOUNG lady holding a PICTURE of HER dead husband T_T
YAY FOR MATTAWA!!
yeah... it was cool. There was mountain biking!! **cheers**
Yeah... and.. yeah... it was cool.. but we spent most of our time in the COMPUTER LAB.. .like... WTF?! we go to the bush and they have a computer lab.. .and you spend like 2/3 the time learning how to make digital maps... o.o
but yeah... it was great... on thursday night, a bunch of the guys took a random bbq they found and they were bbqing like tuna, and chocolate chip cookies...and marshmallow bananas,... and pudding >.<.... and... yeah.. random things....
Oh yeah GPSing.... it was fun cuz nothing was where it was supposed to be... we found one location 10 meters from where the it was supposed to be... and the other was like 35 meters away... like... alsdkdjklasjkl so... it was still fun though
I would mention Boston, but most of you guys were there so... alksdjoi... and uhh... yeah...
When the ashes clear away, when the clouds move from the sun, don't be afraid
I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shiny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the West Hills
I will buy you a new life
Yes I will...
Yeah... I'll post about Mattawa.. and Boston.. later... I'm too lazy now... XD! lmfao... **falls asleep**
**swaps Shakespeare sonnet for SR71 lyrics**
But I still like the sonnet though... (CXLI)
In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note;
But tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who, in despite of view, is pleased to dote;
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue's tune delighted;
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited
To any sensual feast with thee alone:
But my five wits nor my five senses can
Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unsway'd the likeness of a man,
Thy proud heart's slave and vassal wretch to be:
Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me sin awards me pain
I don't mean to deceive you ... Come on, and eat my brain
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feeling disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
guess what it is, and you get a cookie T_T
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