Nameless
Loosing your mind isn't so bad.. is it?
[#date_header]!!!NEW!!!
New blog, probably will rarely write in it though, no one actually reads it! LoL
spidey101
I'm moving into town, go me, moving onto Frood road.
Rock on,
I've got an 86.5% average in school.
Come to the conclusion that, some people are better left forgotten.
check other blog for random updates
Ooo Special!
It's a bird! no it's a plane! no it's superman.. no no.. it's SUPER SPIDEY!!!! *the crowd goes wild* oh yeah... lol, :) I'm in a good mood. I'm doing pretty good in school! I'm doing awsome in computers.. I'm having so much fun in Drama.. guitar isn't to bad.. No distractions so I get decent work done in class.. and suprisingly enough.. my big announcement of the day..
I havn't fell asleep in English yet! OH yeah! hehe, I'm actually enjoying the class.. it's not all that bad right now.. other then the fact that i've done this all before. .but maybe that's why its more interesting.. i feel like i know everything.. maybe i can get a 70! :O! or an 80!!!!! *GASP*! Lets see.. lol
Ry.. I miss you!!!! Poor girl has to work her butt off on wenesdays especially.. at LU from 8-10 *shakes head slowly* I'd help her with all her homework! but my brain just can't function even half as great as I wish it did.. lol, some day..
i'm in the pit band for Guys and Dolls, it's going to b uber fun.. Woot for percussion.. Me and Adele have been talking quite a bit at school lately! She's my.. "pit buddy" lol, go us.. apparently I'm going to be in a cage during the show's the way our little pit stage will be set up back stage I believe.. weird stuff!
anyways...
SPECIAL NOTE
Ry... ur my special ;)
lol and im spent.. tootlez
Things are goin my way!
Wootage! Other then being extremely tired due to lack of sleep, because of that CSI marathon.. lol oh how I love that show.. I had an awsome day.. a week.. hell a month! LoL, hah Well heres all the good things happning for me!
- First and most obvious, Ry! ;)
- Me and Chris are good friends again
- I'm enjoying school, and cant wait til Laurentien next year
- I've been hanging out with Ben again
- Actually got plans for the future and these ones, actually might work out! Woot LONDON!!!!!
- Might b moving into town soon, just got to sell this damned house hehe
- There was a CSI marathon on these past 3 days woot woot
- I'm talking to Karyn about hanging out, aww i miss karyn
- Made bunch of new friends, Alex, Alex, Alex, Steve, Darien, wootage
- I'm getting better at drums!
- Next year I might have my own place with Ry and maybe Shane and one other
WOOT! Anyways, making plans.. Tootlez
first day of school
And ALREADY im late! Stupid dad... made me miss my bus cause the alarm didnt wake him... grrr....
[#date_header]Party On Garth!
LoL! Man.. thanks to everyone who came and made yesterday a blast! Thanks to TFN for playing, and Joe, Biff and Ry comming so we got to play.. Wootage! LoL Hey Manny
"there walking around the house.. and they think there cool! but there not! Aha ha ha"
LoL... ahh good times good times... haha :D
So School starts tomorrow, my official Last Year ... I know a couple classes I'm going to be taking.. definetely english and probably physics, I'll be taking 2 music courses just as well.. I'm suppose to be in a photography class, and in a tech course.. I think that's it.. but as long as I have that english.. I got to raise my mark a little bit.. My average this year was a 66.7 so.. gotta bring that up.. I got a 56 in english.. REALLY need to bring that up.. but This year theres no distractions at school minus Ben and maybe Chris? but that's bout it! No more Joe to hang around with during spares!! *shakes fist* you just HAD to graduate didnt you *grumble grumble* LoL
Well Saturday was an official 1 month of Ry and I...(Love you Sweetie!) that was fun.. We hung out after i got off work, but mainly has the most fun yesterday.. We went to ruckers.. and played some DDR, got 1600 tickets.. We're saving up to buy an X-box...50 000.. we combined the 1600 and 494... so now we have 2094 tickets! Go us! LoL, any donations would be gladly appreciated to help us buy this Xbox LoL... we hoping to have it by the end of the year! LoL:D
Well I'm ending this post here.. Laters peoples!!
Super Spidey!!
WOOTAGE!! LoL yay for the beginning of my site... it's kinda fun.
http://superspidey101.tripod.com
It'll get better.. lol honest
RY's back from camp!! Wootage!! hehe We watched the first Spiderman yesterday.. that was fun!
Schools going to start next week.. hurray.... lol
weird.. not much to say
tootlez
Withdrawl!
Not even 48hours gone and already going threw withdrawl! Ahh the one thing final fantasy X cant suply and fix! *cries* Tomorrow! I get to talk to her.. tomorrow... *grins* hopefully see her too!
I didn't have to work today, them basturds didn't even call me to tell me.. they made me drive out all the way to capreol, so that I can see that my name wasn't on the list to work today.. *shakes fist* one of these days... LoL, Ahh
Life is good! It's amazing the amount of friends I've made this summer, well good friends. Maybe it's not that big of a number, but then again I'm not cooped up at home all the time with the same person all day. Wootage for actually going out and doing stuff.. Actually.. this past month and a half has been eventful, fun and exciting! I've gone to the movies twice, done like 3-5 shows, went to ruckers couple times, gone to a wedding reception, went to eat at a fancy restaurant. Most fun I've had in a while!! Keep it comming! Woot!
Hey alex... its so WOOT no H.. alright!?
*puts cape on and tries to fly away.. hits head on roof*
fukk...
*walks out door and yells **POOF** ..*
*mumbles..*
so much for my miraculous escape..
Blurry Vision
Maybe it could be from playing too much Final Fantasy in the past 48 hours.. hmm... NAH!!! LoL Go video games..
I figured I might as well update.. nothing really to update. Tonight I will either be happy with the show, or fail miserably.. either way.. I get to jam out with fun people in front of bunch of miserable basturds, lol, so time to have a blast.. Wootage!
Time to call most important person in my life so I will update again later.. days away..
Tootlez!
Dance the night away...
May I have this dance?
It's amazing how much fun you can have when your with a good dozen people you barely know, and you just dance.. Steve invited us all to a wedding reception, and man am I glad I went! It's funny cause I can't describe in words how much fun I had.. woot woot! I know everybody looked spiffy, Ry looked... *drools* ;) you know it cutie! hehe, :)
I met bunch of new peeps.. it was awsome! Woot Wootz!!! and I even got to work today.. as stupid as it seems for me to be happy because i got to work.. but I am! cause that means I get to put a down payment on my drum pedal soon, and I get to buy me a couple new peices of clothing and! spoil my ry ;) wootage!
Anywho, je suis fini de updater!
Tootlez noodlez
Here is the update....
This is my update hear me roar!!!!! lol, woot.. yay for being in good moods! hmm... RY"S BDAY WAS FUN! LoL the look on her face was priceless hehe..
I'm so happy right now.. how are you suppose to describe how happy you are in words.. when you've never been this happy in your entire life. I mean how much better can life get when your with the one person that makes you go crazy happy... WoW, hehe
im outtie
Take me away!!
Take me away so I can die happy!!! woot woot!!! LoL nothing can bring me down! Im so happy, I've never had so much fun, this is awsome.. lol, WOOT FOR BAND BONDAGE!!! lol,
hey ry...
Ahh that pee was refreshing.. *pause* .. now .. I think the word I was looking for is RELIEVING.. lol, woot woot
Hahaha, and for asking people out with rocks.. lol, woot woot! Gotta love Rasmey lake..
CKLU! orientation 6pm laurention university.. be there.. or dont.. either way. IMA BE THERE! so will joe.. woot for radio stations, lol, hehe
hyper..
IM LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK its cranked in my kitchen... woot for good music! Booya!
laterz ppl!
Isn't it beautiful..
It's the weirdest feeling ever.. being speechless because your so use to writing depressing thoughts.. and depressing thoughts only. That now when it come's to writing you have no idea how to express yourself. When Im angry, sad, upset I know exactly how to say it, how to express my words.. but soon as I'm happy I'm speechless.. it has never stayed long enough for me to find ways to express it threw writing.
This time though.. it's not leaving. It's that gut feeling you get when you know something's right.. Like you had to let go of something to get what you really deserve. I finally let go.. and I'm speechless to what I got in return. Wow.. havn't been this happy in the longest time..
WOOT WOOT!
I'm back.. the happy.. cheerful.. upbeat and outgoing me is back.
BOOM BABY!
I'VE GOT BUT ONE CLAW.... BUT BEWARE!! ~~~~~~ Ferngully
woot!
If I would die right now.. at least I could say, I could die happy. :) Strange to have 3 people 2 of them as far as I know are usually depressed like hell say that all in the same night.
Good times! I'll sit here an relax and just enjoy this! I have a feeling this time.. its going to last.
It's weird.. when you already thought you found that person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.. then shit happens.. and someone walks into your life. So amazing, and sweeps you off your feet. It's just.. wow. Didn't ever think this could happen, but it did.. and I like it :)
Life.. wow... is DEFINETELY very good! :)
YaY For Band bonDAGE LoL!!!
LoL ahhh.. yay for making careless mistakes.. and it turning into a huge joke! LoL,
All I can say is wow.. I don't think I've ever been so happy so carefree type thing! I feel like nothing in the world could bring me down.. greatest feeling in the world.. One of those.. where you can think about everything in your life.. and instead of realizin how much life sucks.. you just smile and think to yourself
DAMN LIFE IS GOOD!
the ants go marchin one by one hurrah.. hurra
Hey pplz.. if anyone still checks these! LoL.. Not often but hey.. I still write in here.. LoL, yay.. So yeah.. things arn't that bad anymore!! *does lil dance*
LoL how many days Ry? if we hang out til sat. itll be a full week LoL WE COULD DO IT!!!! bruahahaha.. LoL, go us!
AUGUST 1ST COME WATCH BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!! in capreol..
hm... Im in a super good mood... *dances* LoL..
Well to who ever reads this.. LoL, MONKEYS R BLUE!!! LoL
Hey Sam.. next time your online or sumfing remind me to give you a web address..
BUBYE!
Weird
Weirdly enough.. things are starting to look up.. I mean. It's not 100% better or nuffin.. but, I am defintely workin on this whole being happy thing...
Hopefully things in my head get sort out soon.. I'm starting to like this reality a little.. :)
Go spontaneous trips..
<>
Kill me quickly so I can watch... thats my type of satisfaction..
Last entry.. writing on this.
Keepin busy...
JOB : Training, tomorrow(6-12) and thursday(5-12).. starting work on saturday.. 11-7
Itll keep my busy alright.. wont have time to be depressed! Go me!
July 25th.. Christian Concert
August 1st.. 9months for Sam and I.. Oh yeah!, and Battle of the bands gig
August 4th.. Playdium...
August 9th.. Leaving for New Brunswick for 5 days ish
August 14th.. WANTING to leave to go to Alberta
August 15th.. Ry's bday.. 3 times LoL.. yay for time zones,
Go for keeping busy... cant get depressed now! Bruahahahahahahahahahahahaha..
Ry I miss you! Where have ya been??
Sam... you too!!!! Havnt seen yu online at all today *shakes fist*
Goin to sleep... gnite
Fun Stuff (no sarcasm this time)
I had a good day today.. Hung out with.. Ben, Dan, Dominique, Kayla, Steph and Nico (i think thats what they call him).. We watched sum tv.. before everyone got there.. lol, then we had a massive fire.. it was uber fun.. never knew being as creepy and weird.. and outgoing as I am.. could get yu that much friggin attention.. almost too much.. if thats possible.. think about having 6 eyes just watching you :| while you sing a song.. about ... Steph dropping a chip.. and it being a big tragedy... weird stuff
I still havnt got my letter from Sam.. dat sukks.. and I didnt get to talk to her today *shakes fist* its okay,
IM GONA GET A JOB!!!! Not really something to be proud of.. specially not cause its in capreol! lol but hey.. its sumthing thatll help me make money to get sum plane tickets.. and more stuff for my drum kit.. booya
anyways.. gotta get msn plus to work...
Good Morning..
12:44am.. always seems to be the late night.. were it hits me. Well it's not as bad as it usually is.. People keeping me happy right now though! Earlier it was Dan.. now it's Mel.. Thats fun stuff.. lol, well sometimes.. They try to make ya happy with out even knowing it! Dan's really nice, and Mel's just funny plus they talk lots so it never feels like your talkin to yourself.. s'fun! I'm suppose to wait for Ry to come online.. it's nearly 1am.. *shrugs* lol,
Music.. Key to anything.. makes you think.. I've been cranking it and putting it on headphones lots lately.. With my little set list.. Good stuff... Hey its been a while since I've had a normal entry eh? Awsome.. My dad still thinks I need help though.. every once in a while he'll ask me how I'm doing and remind me that if I ever need to see someone.. hell take me. lol always good to know your dad will bring you to the institution if you ever want him too... :S
*snap*
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
Maybe.. things arn't so bad. Difficult to tell in a clouded mind.. but it seems like the storm is going away.. Ever had a dream come true, then have it taken away from you but finally realizing that it's not really gone.. Maybe dreams.. don't have to be nightmares.. maybe there dosn't have to be nightmares at all.. Maybe.. my eyes are finally opening..
Head aches of confusion
Chasing an empty dream
Forgetting who I use to be
Chasing an endless shooting star
Trying to define who you really are..
Ever feel like you finally found where you belong.. but the road to get there.. does not really have a path but is filled with bushes with thorns and holes... so if you make it threw alive.. your still pretty badly wounded. I feel like I'm right in the middle.. blood's dripping down my face and my body from all the thorns... I'm surrounded by 3 thorn bushes and then a huge black hole.. I could go around it.. by going threw the bushes.. and walk another mile or two threw the bushes or I can give up and jump threw the hole... What would you do... I've already picked.. and im my dreams.. I'm no longer here
Endless nights
Sometimes.. the world just crushes you down.. to the point where you are so low that you cannot reach anyone's hand to help you back up.. You see several different hands reaching down, but you cannot reach any of them.. what are you to do in a situation like that. It's like being a ghost and watching your friend suicide.. you yell and scream.. but he dosn't hear you.. your i n v i s i b l e. You sit there, watching.. not being able to take your eyes off.. and you watch your friend.. as he painfully ends his life.. right in front of you without even knowing that your there. How many people feel like their i n v i s i b l e? How much pain can someone bear before their not R E A L anymore?
[#date_header]Thinking..
Why is everything so dark when it's broad daylight outside.. and everything is so much darker once the night falls. Is that really out of our control? I mean.. I remember day's when even my nights could be bright.. are all those day's gone?
You'd think.. you can get use to something continuously jabbing at your heart.. when you think you finally got use to it.. and you've finally hit your worst.. it just decided to jab a little harder to remind you it's still there.It's difficult.. to think.. but yet it's inevitable. I think all the time.. the hardest part is stoping. How dangerous can thinking a thought be... I use to not think it could be all that bad.. but as the world turns.. you learn new things.. sometime's the people you love will just rip your heart out and make you watch it bleed... things you thought were everlasting.. breaks apart right infront of your eyes..
To dream..
A morning light that covers my room.. to wake me from a dream where hapiness wasn't out of reach. It's a strange feeling, being numb.. you can smile, but it dosn't mean shit. You can laugh but there's no meaning behind it. When your mind is a complete blank, and all you do is think.. and there's nothing you can do about it. Defeats the purpose of trying..
[#date_header]Silent Scream
Hear my silent scream.. listen as it pierces your ears. Can you hear it? Because I can't I scream and no words come out.. I cry and no tears fall from my eyes.. It's an endless battle fighting inside of my head. The thoughts of being alive, are.. not really thoughts at all, but the thought of death seems so far away. I'm in a dead zone, a no man's land.. and there's no where else to go.. Where would you go? Every direction your surrounded with an unbearable pain that is beyond your control.. if you find your way.. let me know.
[#date_header]so many days...
She's been gone for a while now.. I have been getting use to not being able to talk to her anytime I want.. but it's not something you like getting use to.. Yesterday.. thinking they were getting there phone, I didnt do anything at all I stayed at home all day.. I even skipped my aunt's bday thingy.. but turns out she's not getting her phone til Friday.. which sucks. I miss her alot...
Ive been hanging out with loads of different people now.. Mostly joe though.. considering we've actually got gigs now so we need to shape up our band.. but yeah.. We're playing July 25th at this christian concert thing.. and then August 1st Capreol Battle of the Bands.. I trying to keep myself busy! Still manage to be depressed.. but that's life..
I've been hanging out with Chris too.. he's awsome. Dominique, she's funny.. Ry YAY RY!!!! lol :) She's awsome.. Darien.. not as much though.. We're trying to get some time for me him and ry to all jam together.. creepy go from being a jealous freak to.. hanging out with him.. *scratches head* Steph.. lol I'm trying to get to hand out with her.. she's ry's 'sis'.. so yep... my efforts to keep busy.. *sigh*
I miss her so much... come back home soon
Time is ticking..
I tried calling her, but the phone wouldn't work. I have to wait til she calls now.. I wanted to talk to her today.. dosn't look like that's going to happen *sigh* I hate the distance.. Its the one thing I dispise.. *shrugs* I miss her..
So I'm having mixed thoughts in my mind.. about so many different things. I need someone to blab about it, but everyone that I want to rant to is busy or gone.. *shrugs* I might as well just keep them until I can talk to Sam on the net or something..
Time's ticking away..
Wonderful Day..
Today.. was okay.. mixing with last night.. was alright.. I guess.. This morning and between 12 and 5:30ish were the biggest highlights of the 2 days... because..
This morning, she called me! I was so happy, I cried cause I was so happy, then i got a hit of reality, and realized she was so far away.. and got sad. I'm so depressed.. funny.. how the majority of people who keep a diary thingy are depressed eh? Well... I've never really been happy since she left.. I promised her I would try.. so I have been trying my hardest.. keeping myself busy! I am trying..
Then between 12 and 5:30ish.. I had my old best friend back.. it was so fun.. Ahh.. he is so funny. I'm glad were hanging out again.. so happy.. plus.. he's depressed too so we try to cheer each other up. Ahh how I missed him :) I got him back though! I love bestest friends!
Those being the only 2 highlights of my day.. I'm still a little brought down because.. 1.. Sam's soo far away! :( 2.. When I wasnt with the best friend.. or on the phone with the girl of my dreams.. I was the great 3rd wheel of the night. Wonderful eh? Especially when it's your two friends.. at your own place. Meh.. oh well.. Can't win all the time.. At least.. I got to hear my baby.. and hang out with a great friend.
Fare thee well
Falling
It's amazing.. how fast 8 months can past you by... I can still remember how it all happened.. How I went over to her house, how we watched the movie Exorcist and turned it into a comedy. (oh it's possible).. how I asked her out.. how we joked... Greatest night of my life..
Now.. I celebrate this day.. alone? technically no.. without her.. yeah. :( I don't even know if today counts.. because of "The Break" .. but if it wasn't for "the break"... it would be 8 months she and I have been dating.. Longest relationship I've been in.. and I hope to god it lasts longer... I've gone 2 days without talking to her.. and already I can feel the pain crawling underneath my skin.. Scary aint it.. I'm happy though.. We lasted this long.. if we make it through the distance.. we can make it through anything..
My mom told me not to stay home today.. because it's our 8 months.. She told me to go out and do something. Part of me wants to stay home, hell the majority of me wants to stay home in case she calls.. the love of my life.. what if she calls? but a small portion of me is saying.. keep yourself busy or you'll be depressed and waiting all day.. So I believe I'm going to paintball.. with the youth group.. until 4:30... then were driving friend home. I should be home around 5:30 ish.. 6 at the latest..
Baby if you call and I'm gone.. please.. leave number so I can call you back.. I need to hear your voice..
Love you
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak..
Age:17
Martial Status:Long-term relationship.. BOOM BABY!
Favourite(s):
Author : Stephen King,
Movie : A Knight's Tale, The Day After Tomorrow
Band : Linkin Park, A.F.I, Coheed and Cambria, TFN!
Interests:Music, Video games & Ry ;)
Have you ever shattered silence..
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