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yes but what does it mean?
Ok right. I realized something there other day that has to do with the fact that Everything Has Changed. If you’ve been in my life the past 2 years you know what and that’s why.
When everything changes the meaning of things change. Being rather fond of writing a verse or telling a story (is that a word piddler or peddler?) or course this means my writing is affected. This is why I really haven’t been writing these past two years. There’s a line here and there that come to me and these simple lines mean volumes to me. They’re little revelations about connections that are only meant for me. I’m trying to find my footing in this world of new meaning. My personal lexicon for emotions and metaphors has to be built up again. The only way to do it? Keep writing, or at least thinking about writing.
What is it your soul must say to the world?
Last spring you cried over flowers
that would bloom again without you.
This spring they bloom once more
And I cry over you.
This, of course, all happened. I don’t know yet how to express the fact I am crying over the same person’s grave while seeing flowers of spring bloom a second time a year later. That the first time when I was with them and they cried over spring blooms I didn’t understand it. Upon seeing the flowers bloom and being alone I think I do. This poem just doesn’t work as a piece to communicate and experience and emotion to other people but it means volumes to me. Besides, the ending sounds trite.
Here’s another example:
The night my mother died
The sun broke blazing
through the heavy clouds and drizzling sky.
The only beautiful thing I have seen
in this landscape I otherwise abandoned
to drudgery and grief.
Alright, this can be tweaked here and there. The lines and rhythm of it are absolutely off as far as I’m concerned but again regardless of how I tweak it it still doesn’t sound right. This isn’t the original of this poem which was lost in a computer crash a year ago, this is a remembered version. It’s easy to trick ones self into believing that the original (and unedited) inspired moment was more pure and complete but I won’t fall for that.
last modified Apr 25, 2008 at 13:59
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