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AussieAri's weblog Edit this message to change the title of your weblog. Friday, May 23, 2003
why is this apple only bruised around the core? Napalm Tampons and other swell inventions. I went to Wal-Mart with a black cat firecracker sticking out of my ear. We were listening to the Snatch soundtrack (which reminded me of last summer with THE infamous 'snatch' and how for some reason i can understand what the Parkies are saying) as we drove by the deaf school on the way there, and i paused to think 'it's a good thing i don't smoke'. Orifices are for sticking things in right? At very least they have stuff come out of them. That's one of the central themes of humanity people! Well anyway, it seemed like a good idea at the time on 5 hours of sleep. At least it blatantly reminded me to get tampons for Sam. Black Cats are small, incredibly loud, have fast explosive potential, and oath- they have hissing cat heads on them. I absolutely love those little things; how could you not? <3 I was amazed at how few strange looks I got. If you act normal and natural, then so is whatever goes with you- the wonderful social pressure of acceptance or denial in public. It's not like i was bothering anyone. The subtlety of it in actions in Santa Fe is far more amusing than when i'd dress up strangely in Dallas and do a 7-11 run through (no, not a run, a run through) with the freaks. Even the guy behind the knife counter in the sporting goods section let me see the new Chameleon II by Gerber. But then it started to hurt, so I took it out. The black cat, not the knife- you don't just go sticking everything you find in an orifice. Anyway, Columbia River makes a better karambit like knife called the Bear Claw that's less fuss and is more versatile in grip. Monday, May 19, 2003 Going down with the ship, OR, Sinking till the end of the year. Bad dreams follow on Sunday’s affairs, i barely slept but tossed and turned. I dreamt I was on a large luxury cruiser called the “Titanic” in the middle of the ocean. Needless to say I felt edgy and trapped. And then I had a don rag. Two tutors were presiding over it- one the quieter and new seminar tutor from my freshman year and the other the lab tutor I assist in freshman lab who I have never actually had as my tutor. So they sat down and before giving their reports said they had asked in people from my core group. Not having any core group because of my lab assistant schedule in came 4 people that I have one class with each. They seemed entirely fed up and blasé. The tutors handed one of them an evaluation sheet to check off about my performance and asked him what the worst part was. This usually very nice and incredibly quiet gent explained in his quiet voice now hinted with sarcasm that despite having never ever seen one of my papers, ‘Her writing sucks and could use much improvement.’ He then went on to insult my haircut, that I should get a new one if I wished to maintain my ‘tough butch' attitude. At this the tutors both nodded in their own very agreeable ways and I was utterly paralyzed in insulted disbelief. Well at least I woke up before the ship sunk. I really have to write my music paper... Sunday, May 18, 2003 Laying down Reality. The Don Quixote theme was inevitably mixed up with the Mexican culture so close to here- it was just unavoidable. The best decorations were the library placita and the grassy knoll. The grassy knoll became the 'burro corral' with piñatas containing candy, drapes, lights and a hammock hanging from the tree. Blankets, scattered candy and couches were on the lawn. There were pinwheels and real flowers in beer bottles everywhere on campus, crape paper in the trees, and paper chains. The engineering of the windmill on the bell tower was shoddy and they never did get the thing to rotate. Thursday, May 15, 2003
I was just doing laundry and realized that the new Alabama state quarter has Helen Keller on it sitting in a chair reading a book in brail. Above her name in print is her name in brail- but the marks are so small only someone with eyesight would be able to decipher them. HA! Go Alabama! Helen Keller quarters! Things I refuse to pay for in a 1st world country: Salt, Toilet paper, Boxes, Water. Tuesday, May 13, 2003 Omissions and many impossibilities. For better or worse, Tutors are my new fascination, or not so new but newly admitted. Mph. Monday, May 12, 2003 Shakespeare’s check list. Act 1: Everyone introduced, the scene is set I use to love putting the farm cat on the piano keys when I was younger. ‘Romantic’ music is highly dissonant- and if played slowly, sounds god awful. It’s quickly moving prepared dissonances make us think it’s spontaneous. Mullheaded Dreams I hope I never wake up in a David Lynch life. The reality of upcoming Reality.. Drunk just hurts anymore. I am past my weekend binge prime. On to better things.
I love Montaigne all the more for this: "Of all the natural function [defecation] that is the one that i can least willingly endure to have interrupted." (From, On Experience) Blogswap and Argyle rock. Argyles rock. I’ve never had a pair before, I feel kick arse. Friday, May 9, 2003
Aikido at the Santa Fe Dojo which was amazing and getting well stuffed on sushi paid for by the school afterwards. *sighs contentedly* Sometimes to tell the truth it takes bloody guts Our seminars would most likely prove great silly entertainment or pathetic attempts at insults to the authors.
“O, when she’s angry, she is keen and shrewd: I smell a possible lawsuit...or just carcinogens. The other night I went through the dusty draws of the classroom I have seminar in before class started. I found: 3 collated copies of a senior paper, trash bags, photocopies of Aristotle in Ancient Greek, a coffee maker, plastic and metal forks and spoons, mugs from the cafeteria and not, a bag of sugar, two boxes of sugar cubes that were all individually numbered with marker, many boxes of wrapped pinecones and conifer samples, rock samples, and the prize find- in the corner of a cabinet beside some pinecones, just as dusty as everything else was an old mailed package with 26 cents worth of stamps. It contained ‘Asbestos Samples’ from a company, probably from the 30's- asbestos paper, asbestos felt, asbestos shingles in ebony and white, and asbestos tilling. Maybe I can sell it as a collector’s item on E-Bay if it’s not illegal. Big hot dripping sweaty jokes. I want to make a fake porn site on the net, “100% Pure Unadulterated Uncut SCUT!!! Totally free for your Viewing Pleasure!” Thursday, May 8, 2003 Barking up a tree from your backside. Those pacifists that are violently adamant about pacifism really irritate me- as much as bible bashers or any other sort of dogmatic fool. Wednesday, May 7, 2003
I love smoking accessories-it's the esthetic appeal. It's so much more satisfying than actually bothering to smoke them, but then if you don't smoke them, why have them? Papers, boxes, cartons, packs, lighters, pipes, wires, holders, and cases. The three Russian cures to any problem: Baba, церковь, Vodka. ahem... Tuesday, May 6, 2003
wow. just wow.
The worst attack in modern sport fencing with saber is most definitely the concentrated nipple slash. It will, if done accurately, incapacitate your opponent for at least 3 seconds. Now this is just in regular bouts, not aiming for the nipple but lower pec for a chest slash; combine this with what is sometimes referred to as the unusually cruel 'full body attack' in which you actually take back for more slash- and you'll never NOT wear a chest protector again. Things to decorate a Scientist’s (very sturdy weight bearing) x-mas tree with. (DORK!) Burets, Dumas Bulbs, Terrill Burners, Eyedroppers, Centrifuge Test tubes, Ignition Tubes, Glass Piping bent for ‘tinsel’, Tin foil, Copper beads, mercury, or Gallium in closed glass wear, Spatulas, Pistols, Mortars, Watch Glasses, Tiny beakers, Erlenmeyer flasks, Glass mercury thermometers, Deflagration spoons, Platinum flame test loops, Glass stoppers. Airing out laundry. When you hug someone you leave your scent on them. There are some places and people I don’t want left with a piece of me for long- they shouldn’t be able to recognize me or have the privilege to, so I don’t entertain long. Self Idealized When no one’s looking
At the ends of civilization
I miss her Breasts.
We have guilty sorry to say for nothings J.A.P. I know her now that she is far away
There is a blind spot in out sight of the world
She is the sort of woman
I was sold as a slave on Saturday to benefit Reality. $16 to one freshman Zach. Luckily the pitch the sales announcer chose was that i give motorcycle rides (considering i drove up to the 'sales floor' on mine) not any other of my fine talents or god forbid- the promise to clean someone’s room. So yesterday i went up to the ski basin with a passenger. A little chilly but the Rebel held up wonderfully. Easiest slave gig I ever pulled. Chaos Theory. The most complex and varied thing you will ever see with your eyes or observe in the universe are the living things- not the stars, their motions, comets, suns and moons, the elements and the debris. and things... Monday, May 5, 2003
The house my parents bought in Dallas while i was in highschool there is being sold. Someone liked my mid purple room. I'm tickled a blue shade of pink! Sad demographical fact. There are no sorts, forms or kinds of human relationships that do not partake in some way in politics. Sunday, May 4, 2003
I've been craving pretzels for weeks now and have scarfed down those little snack bags...but the desire always comes back. Maybe i should give in to it and buy a barrel of them at Sam's. Coitus! I finally found out what it means! Those silly nuns!
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