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AussieAri's weblog Edit this message to change the title of your weblog. Sunday, February 26, 2006
sigh. that was nice. more random comic links Nowheregirl More hyperconnective modern things for me to play with. Reike, check this out. I think you were him in a past life!
What’s the proper response to ‘top of the morning’?
Russian Kettlebell makes my muscles go Pop!
The lions share Checklist for our bachelor pad: Bar. Stocked and with accessories
Spent too much $ going to the ER to have my nose looked at. Just like the last time I had an ER visit, they didn’t tell me or do anything very useful. In fact, the doctor who looked like an extra from Days of Our Lives said that he was telling me the same thing he would tell people that come in directly after an injury to the nose that hasn’t broken the bone. Wait 6 months for the cartilage to heal and if you don’t like the look of it or if you feel it inhibits your breathing then you can go see an ear/nose/throat specialist for surgery. What I’ve got here is ‘a contusion’. Take some Advil (or ibuprofen if you prefer), wait 6 months and try to ignore the fact that your nose clicks. Thanks doc. Click click click. My coworkers: “Let’s go honky tonking!” –Ari I've said it before... When I grow up I wanna be a gynachiatrist
My 5-year-old Palm pilot finally bit the silicon dust. I had that thing since senior year in high school and it served me ever so well. If your b-day or anniversary or some event I assented to over 3 months ago is coming up I suggest you remind me. Thursday, February 16, 2006
Star Wars Episode III, The Backstroke Of The West
Albuquerque artist Pete Ziomek says he's "Totally into kids" and is looking for a nice similarly minded date in the area. Wednesday, February 15, 2006
<<updating from the past two months till Moss makes my very own bloggy blog on m14m.net operational.>> Adventure and something different in the high desert. Valentines day remained fairly un-valentine-y, just as i would have it, and I did enjoy myself.
In all that they have given to me I hadn’t stopped to ask what they want, and in their generosity I think it may be to help someone who is needy. I hope this means they don’t want me to be needy or dependent then…
So after consulting with new house mate William (Bill), i'm very certain i actually chipped the cartilage of my nose about two weeks ago in a BJJ sparing accident. It's still sore, i still have a slight double black eye, and i have a bump at the point of impact. Oh and it clicks when i touch it. Click click click. Look at that monkey climb that monkey ladder! Go monkey go! So I’m now a specialist. ‘Why yes, we already knew that’, you’re saying- No, not a sausage specialist (though that would be really awesome thing to tell women I was chatting up, non?), but the meat department specialist. For those who don’t speak in the Whole Foods corporate mucky muck lingo read this as meaning I will be buying all the products for the meat department and am responsible for making our margin on it. This is why they will soon be paying me more. Quite a bit more I expect. Also read that I beat out four other people in getting this position- all of whom had either been there longer or been working with meat longer. I suppose the almost BA in math and some puter experience from highschool really helped, but really I am becoming my father the accountant. Eep. If I start reading military history books someone smack me good alright?
Hillah is right, BJJ does take the hair off the inner blade of your forearm near to your wrist. How odd. Things that have made my vocabulary lately: Ut!
Rugby Prom Dress. New muzacks: Corrina Repp
Friends who are no longer from town are in town again. Very happy about this, especially with the twists life takes and has been taking recently for all of us. Honestly- I could not make this shit up if I tried and I have tried before. That’s why I’ve learnt to shut up and listen then improve a little.
Who knows you too well?
Kombucha. I shall attempt to brew it with the help of a starter culture from a co-worker. So if you happen to find me poisoned on the floor some day in the near future it most likely wasn’t absinthe this time.
Wow. I just forgot the word for what you do to get married- you know, the event at which marriage happens.
please muse, the next time I fall in love, please don’t have me writing love poems. one cool cat
Christel’s Rose (tentatively named):
So I’ve never been tempted so see any of those stupid American take off movies but the new one- Date Movie- well the teaser’s got me. I bet that with that being said, none of the fat suit bit will be in the actual movie at all. Ffft. Sure sign of the Apocalypse #1: “New Orleans is sooo boring.” – A friend of mine who’s down there collecting the stuff he left to the hurricane’s non-mercy. To give you an idea of exactly how boring the Big Easy now is, he was wishing he was back here in Santa Fe so he could come party that Saturday. Kill what you can’t catch. Catch what you can’t kill. I have a burning desire to have half an elk or buffalo or deer or ostrich or…you get the picture, in the lie down freezer. The freezer came with the house but it’s only been recently that the huge gapping abyss of its insides have called out demanding to be ‘filled with animal flesh’. The trick is to get the stuff I’ve got to know local hunters who would be willing to sell part of their catch to me. Almost all farms won’t sell half carcasses and if they do it’s overpriced. So the options of having it shipped from another state or actually driving cross state to picking it up aren’t economically feasible and defeat the purpose of buying in bulk in the first place. My poor poor freezer. So alone freezing nothing. Maybe I should put a hat in there to keep it company or something. SOMETHING I say!
Capsicum, capsicum, capsicum, people!
“So now you have no master but you don’t want to admit that, do you, because you don’t want to end up old and alone and without anyone to turn to when you don’t understand anything.” – The Rabbi’s Cat Failed pick up line #30: “Your face or mine?”
You want to see me pee myself laughing? Right, all you need is 3 red blooded aussie men and a kareoke system loaded with a version of the Black Eyed Pea’s ‘My Humps’, set them all into motion together and observe. “Because I do not love you, sleep with me.” You know when people say, “I’m a lover not a fighter”? What the hell do they think they’re talking about? To me, if you really are a lover then you must needs be a fighter. You would kill and die for what you love wouldn’t you lover boy? Uselk.com Not only do they age the meat till it’s at a 5.5ph, flash freeze, then shrink wrap the stuff, but they test every animal for CWD. Phew. I may munch in peace without becoming a mad butcher.
Ok, I still get freaked out by feet pinching me, rubbing up on me and other odd foot actions but I will admit this- I like to knead fabrics, cushions and carpets with my toes. Now I can knead in absolution. This is going to sound weird but since when did that stop me? We got this shipment of organic beef in and the NY strip steaks we got out of it…I never thought meat could be so beautiful but for lack of a better way to explain it, it was. I was utterly absorbed with it for several minutes, just couldn’t stop looking at it. I couldn’t believe it, it had perfect marbling pattern, a bright but deep red to the flesh, a wonderful rippled but smooth texture and it smelt so clean. Clean breaks and cuts sold here. Muddied sullied consciences and hearts out the back. When do you have them? When have you? I can think of so few in my life that were emotional and were really truly definitive and clean. For instance, those decisions or statements where there was not a shred of anguish or doubt after the facts or events, not a single split of conflict in my feelings. Where the situation ran itself right through my being and came back with a resounding ‘yes’. This is not to say I have regrets pilled upon misgivings- its simply an unshakable certainty beyond a doubt that I have lacked. I’ve picked paths by weighing them rather than by impulse or instinct alone. The difficulty is that the one so close to the other had qualities equally worthy- yet for my own reasons I gave it up. After all that thought I can’t forget or over look the reality of things left behind or never started.
SCU cheerleaders are all over the place.
Her pet name for him is ‘Whiskey Tits’.
Who are you in your dreams? A person you never would have never understood in life? A better or worse person? A shadow of yourself, a spector observing another world? From my pandy bear in France who is re-discovering the difference a letter makes: prettypandee:
Well looking at funeral plots here in Santa Fe for my parents hundreds of miles away was probably one of the most depressing things I’ve done in years; how about you? It’s the little horrors. Receiving Christmas presents from her for what will be the last time, looking forward to her her last birthday, my last birthday with her, talking to her about burial and funeral options. It makes me hysterical. Trapped in a box of tremendous size Do you ever get that ginchy feeling walking into hospitals and big medical centers? Every time I’ve walked into the Roswell Cancer Center I feel fear. It’s almost a panic. My senses go on the alert and I can’t be comfortable, I just want to run out into the encompassing relief of the smog and dirt and poverty and cold of down town Buffalo. Anything, anything but the inside of that institute again, please. It doesn’t matter how open, bright, clean and shiny everything is in there or how much the people smile and are courteous and calm- it still wreaks of death approaching, death coming on and death stalking. I can’t stand it.
they had a ‘come to jesus talk’ to get it all out in the open and worked out.
Octobriana, Slavic super comic heroin of cult following and minimal hygiene.
Cromartie High School.
Rocko’s modern life the comic book. Quotes from Marvel’s Essential Ghostrider V.1: “This is you bike? Kinky.” More best tough girl lines ever: “Now you tell me what your damn problem is or else I’m going to find a very small hole and re-enact your birth--” Agent Jakita Wagner from Planatary
Got a haircut, a pedicure, good hair goop, good foods, chauffeuring and choice of whatever I wanted to do, and general pampering from Reg’s family for my x-mas trip to Dallas. At least someone in the world wants to pamper me, hell knows I don’t do it other than by giving myself time to do absolutely nothing.
Mental note: eating beets does funny things to the colour of your wiz. Do not be alarmed. Something mum use to read to me when I was young:
I have learnt my lesson well and for the last time. People in N.M. lie. Quel surprise, right? It’s the way that they lie that is the surprising part and why they do it. They will construct complicated yet lame illogical lies or play the ‘stupid’ card just to get out of having to be truthful and seem like the hard ass in a situation. They are afraid of confrontation at all costs so they all go pussyfooting about the place with mal intentions. Well fine. I will be the hard ass. I will be called a ball buster, demanding, brutally truthful- because I really don’t know any other way. I’ve been called these things and many more before. And ultimately, I will end up doing what is your duty for you even though I was not put on this planet to clean up your shit. I will draw clear lines and if you do not see them when I point them out the first time I am not going to hold your hand as you over step them the next. There. Got it? I hate repeating myself.
Oh hordes of the universe, when last I asked you to conjure something out from under the unimaginable vast yards of material used as your dress I asked for low rise boot cut front crease classic coloured blue jeans and you came good. Twice. Daym you’re good. Now I ask you for an equally impressive feat. A small black or red (preferably leather) wallet with a coin purse in it, place for some cards and a flap for cash, horizontal construction, bi fold. Perfect dimensions would be: 3 ½” by 2 ½” and under ½” thickness but can go anywhere up to: 3 ½” by 3”
I hereby re-invoke the Freeze Dried Waitress Collection. Good rejection line #1: "You’re the lowest thing I’ve seen standing in a pair of boots." Oh, now really, that’s too much. If the ‘wog broiler’ wasn’t bad enough for you we also have ‘Abo leg of lamb’ direct from New Zealand. Stupid Cupid. What was it I sought to hide from people by not telling them my feelings for them- protection of my pride? But now I’m dealing with things more as they come. Lord knows the knowledge that I don’t have enough time ever is working in me and prompting acts. I’ve been letting what I know is true to be told as soon as I’m certain even if it still is painful to drag it out my mouth. The rewards have been incredible. ‘Who is he when he’s not at home?’
My dad was telling me about the ‘Inter dental stimulators’ the military gave out. They're plastic toothpicks. Failed pick up line #28 (thanks to Jaeger from Finder): "Wanna fuck? Purely for medicinal purposes." Speaking of verrrrginity... "Oh yes; We are the Catholic Church. We can do anything." – From the recent movie Cassanova Wowie yowie. Yowie toys?
"Things are getting pretty desperate/when all the boys can’t be men. Everybody knows I’m her friend/Everybody knows I’m her man."
Sometimes I wonder why I bother or actually care. Dear Ursuline Academy of Dallas alumna and attendees from 1997-2002: I’m browsing the presentations of yourself you’ve put up on Myspace and noticing trends amongst the 300+ profiles. Some of them are fairly obvious, but there’s one trend in particular that disappoints me. It’s also somewhat amusing. My old girlfriend was right. The ways I resemble a small dog and/or a small child are: I am always cold. I always need to pee. That is all. Spectator sports = dashed hopes I was in the local lesbo bar in Dallas when Texas won. Shit fire, the place went nuts. We’ll never hear the fucking end of it now- that’s for sure. I must remember; The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective. The morning dew perspective.
"I don’t wear socks. I’m a chicagoan. I was in the Antarctic without socks!" Some Like It Hot. She thinks I size up women by if they’ll look good on the back of my motorcycle or not. Failed pick up line #27 For those of us who play at work... "I have a question." Frank on my metabolic results: "Well you know what this means don’t you? You are a big cat."
"It’s amazing the shit people will put up with if they’re able to do the things they love." -Hillah
"A friend told me that I have to become the man I want to marry!" -Jill ...and all the ladies go crazy. "You must be under the mistaken impression I am some sort of poon chasin’ home wreckin’ dawg, are you not?" Sucking on a swag man's tits. There was a riot of Bondi Beach last week. Let’s run that through the ears again: a RIOT at BONDI. (picks of the 420 festival) It seems like everyone (except the racist nationalists that is) is rather confused about the whole thing. I think it’s a reaction to something like the tides of population turning on a proud race that is no longer a majority in ‘their land’ and this they fear.
I’m trying to think of movies about or containing butchers- besides the wondrous Delicatessen. Any one know some? Please to keep in mind when at the butcher's: 1) You are buying meat not a house. This is not a long term investment of any sort.
I’m apologizing less these days. It has more to do with no being able to put up with much else on my plate. Some people think of this as a virtue to be applied at all times, others find it insolent.
When I walk home at night with the lights from houses on one side and Cerillos on the other stretching the shadows across the railyards the cotton tail rabbits that scatter through the scrub remind me of very large crabs or fleas. I am the very model of a modern Major-Carnivore I feel vindicated. Oh so vindicated and justified. You see, some of the results taken from the blood test I did established what metabolic type I am. Can you guess? Well? Hum?? Yes that’s right. I’m a CARNIVORE. Hardcore at that; I can almost subsist entirely off of meat alone and for my best health I need to eat meat every day as more than half of my meal. It makes so much sense and ties together odds and ends throughout my life: why I’m a butcher now, why it doesn’t bother me at all and in fact interests me, why I don’t like breads or grains that much, why when I speak of an animal I qualify it as tasting either good or not, why I have a compulsion to chase small herbivorous animals, why I have such fond memories of eating lamb in the early morning before playing field hockey, and why I stay away from junk foods. Ok, maybe it doesn’t entirely explain the hockey bit but you get the picture. Heart disease can kiss the Northern European genetics of my white hairless arse. So can all the militant vegans and vegetarians. hhhhhHA! Santa Baby, hurry down the dirt road from me./ Santa Baby, leave a six pack and a 50 then flee. Christmas is out to kill me. I’m certain of it now. Holiday hell. Others have tried and failed at such a feat and just as before, I will survive this awful excuse for a holiday. I hate the holidays. Yes that’s right, bah hum bug and a big bag of coal. Fuck you Christmas, and your little tinsel too.
Because the only Christmas story I can stand to hear is one from Jeanette Winterson. Oh you silly ____. Is it true that there are bridges that burn beyond recognition, beyond repair? Charity for nothing, charity for free. A friend mentioned investing in my forge in the future. This is, of course, after he has the capital to be investing in other people’s enterprises. He joked that it was always good to know a white guy who can help you out. I realized the people that have helped me out the most are single mothers and/or divorced women. The married women seem to distrust me, but will help me begrudgedly. I get the feeling they think I’m some force of destabilization and general a bad influence- not to be tampered with or brought into the home. And the white men? Sure I’ve received many gifts from them throughout my years- none of them incredibly useful or given at the best time and often with a false sense of benevolence wishing to be recognized.
Sometimes I wish I had a Jewish mother. Sometimes.
Well that’s one drunken social escapade turned mystery by morning that is now solved. Phew. Quit BJJ. "What?!?", you say. Let me explain- simply I all round wasn’t enjoying myself. The school has changed drastically since I first began and not for the better in my opinion. It hasn’t been giving me any support and that’s what I really need right now in the activities I do. I feel no community with those I practice with. Besides that paying to test for belts is just fucking sad and repugnant to me on philosophical and ethical grounds. Sad. Qigong has been recommended and I will look into it at the White Cloud Institute. Come spring BJJ will be starting up at the college again though and training there has always been good to me so there’s that option too.
After that nightmare, I figure I should probably give some of my time away to others. Kitchen Angels then in the spring. Giving the gift of pain. My 20kg (44lb) Russian kettlebell arrived in the post. I am very pleased. I’m slightly sorry I didn’t get to hear the mailman cuss as he delivered it though. Now to see where good morning swings will occur. Hup!
They’re digging up my back yard. By ‘they’ I mean hired archaeologists and by ‘backyard’ I mean the railyard. They’re doing surveys in order to establish if the site is an ancient Indian burial ground or not (but it’s not as if that would stop construction- that the case of the downtown building built on one and currently being renovated). No, in fact, they’re actually establishing topographical maps of the asequia madre and the other rivers that wandered what was once a flood plain there. The area of survey is incrementally being expanded. It’s now about 300m2. It makes stumbling to and from work a bit of a hassle but at least they’ve fenced it off unlike the slit trench they first dug and I nearly fell into one bitter cold pre-dawn morning. I just thought they were doing something with the pipes. On walking tours, and why you should always case a joint twice. "When you walk through a crowded place, especially during the day and you’re sporting as much cleavage as this, you either get looks of contempt or lust. It’s fun." –Kate Sentimental Journey. Did I miss something about Buffalo? I’ve talked with several non-buffalonians who really admire the place and the people. I can’t connect with the joys of ‘lake living’ for certain but perhaps I didn’t interact enough with the people there.
Hey 2006,
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