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AussieAri's weblog Edit this message to change the title of your weblog. Tuesday, May 30, 2006
My visit to Karen's in Rochester was cut short by the news mum was in need of surgery. Turns out it’s not surgery she will die if she doesn’t get….no she’ll just puke constantly until she gets a stomach tube to drain the bile. They tried to put a catheter through her nose but she couldn't take the pain and it didn't work out. Since it’s labor day weekend, you guessed it, no one is there to do any non-essential surgery. Monday, May 29, 2006
Now seriously, how do I get myself into the gay games? I should attend this: Martial arts. *insert squealing and swooning sounds here* Devotchka has a new album, and they’re doing the soundtrack to this movie.
There are boarder patrol helicopters that fly by our house. All those sneaky Canadians crossing the river and lakes you know. The choppers wake me up at night and make me want to hurl myself at the ground. Damn thing to wake up to.
My cat Percy is getting clumsy in his old age. I’ve seen him miss his footing climbing the stairs and his butt go out from under him when he was jumping down to a chair. I can’t help but laugh. Maybe loosing a bit of weight would help him out. A fortnight gone. I miss my friends. The ones that make me laugh till my stomach hurts and I snort. The ones where we’d much rather talk than have some activity occupying us but are up for just about any sort of activity. Those who are comfortable vegging out with me and being totally non-verbal. The ones who will join me on impromptu surrealist acts in public. Who’ll get up and dance or sing with me even if no one else is. I really miss the laughter the most. There’s none up here which would explain why I’ve been reading the Hitchhiker’s series and watching anything even vaguely labeled comedy. There are a bunch of events coming up here in Buffalo including Gay Pride. But venturing into public parties alone seems to requires much effort that i'm often not willing to give. Honestly? I'd much rather be where ever my friends are. Unfortunately, that is no where close by. Next time I go in Cowboy drag: Cowboy boot sideburns The woman who can truthfully write my business card: Ray-gun on needing to move on with your life, “I’m getting frustrated with my cognitive functioning”, when there are obstacles preventing you from doing so, “And here’s this big boulder with all this moss and lichen and shit on it!” Another drag name: John Dis.
Buffalo has endeared itself to me in that ‘god I’m glad I don’t live here and I’m here when it’s in its best season!’ sort of way.
When did my life turn into a modern version of Ethan Frome? Only it’s worse in a way because it’s more boring. I have no love interest, there’s more color here since it’s not winter, and we live in these weird suburbs with none of the usual suburban conveniences. That’s my shopping done for another year! On Wednesday my aunt insisted on taking me shopping since I have nothing dressy to wear to Jeanne’s wedding and Poiny’s graduation. Three grueling hours latter the damage to her credit card made me feel guilty and slightly queasy. She remained firm that she would be spending money on me regardless of what I thought of it the whole time. Now I have a very very nice label brand pant suit/jacket, slacks, dress shoes, sunglasses and that new wallet I wanted. The jacket is a size 8 and the pants are a size 6, I would have taken a 5 if they’d had them. I tried on several showy dresses and cut away shirts. Because of the current state of my upper body I look ridiculous in almost all of them, or so I think. It doesn’t help that none of them are made to fit me in the first place but that much build just doesn’t jive with the overly frilly/excess of decoration pieces. Not even in an ironic sense. It’s like a bad joke about a gangly white guy wearing a matador’s outfit. Ole!
The burlesque was good. I’m glad I made the effort at least and now I feel calm and have a slight smile on my face. The people were all quite courteous even if Ari was flighty about the bar with intermittent bouts of boredom that come out of not wanting to make the effort to meet people and being dismayed that I’m not. General uneasiness. Also the bar is not so good with handling plastic and took quite a bit of time and effort over it. Sunday, May 21, 2006 i am drowning in cute online comics Family memories that make you laugh hysterically and feel sick. Dad: Did you ever read that comic called ‘Real Life Adventures’?
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Them hockey womenz! A street map and a phone book of Albuquerque. Planning for the future of the living while looking after the dying is just fucking weird. It presents a paradox about the whole business, a fundamental division of interests. I have no doubt life will go on, I just don’t know what that life will be like from here so why plan the details of it? Saturday, May 20, 2006
Dear Universe, This is why I shouldn’t be left alone on the Internet for more than 2 hours within the vicinity of a search engine: Taxidermy fashion statements. Ech! Things I have learnt to dive into in order to get over them as quickly as possible: Depression
If you were a DJ what would your name be? I’d be DJ re-do. From Osamu Tenzuka’s ‘Buddha’ Graphic Novel, Book One: The Vizier and his distraught daughter enter the General’s palace. And thus the sisterly rivalry continues. The ratings are in from the Princeton Review ‘poloids. Better gird yer loins, werd.
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Caroline B_____, who I had a big lesbo crush on back in my Sydney school days and who turned up in my dream last night fully grown, brilliant mind, and brilliant orange hair in a braid down her back intact. But oddly still in the old uniform we wore when we went to school together. Friday, May 19, 2006 I seem to be able to focus my obsession on only one accessory at a time... OHMYGOD MUDFLAPGIRLBELTBUCKLE! And PUNKMUDFLAPGIRL! New music again: My friend Tony's Tips To Avoid Getting Sick... ALL-AROUND IMMUNE BOOSTER:
All sorts of off things to do with death.
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Lady Murasaki Shikibu Analog girl's misadventures in a digital world. Began to finish up that one page in a comic I had been avoiding for quite a while. I had all the layout and cropping/sizing done and went to save. Then the programme shut down on me. Sigh. At least I know what I want to do with the page now but this is exactly why I don’t like doing things entirely digitally. Thursday, May 18, 2006
Dreamt my Dad bought me a ’67 mustang with bright red body and a white racing stripe. Just what I always wanted. While I was gawking, my jaw doing push ups, and generally being AMAZED a huge heavy couch fell on the roof of the car and completely ruined the body. So later that day we got it towed, cashed in the insurance and he got me one of the new (and definitely no where near as sexy) mustangs in red, but without the racing stripe. It began falling apart in little ways the next day as I was driving it around town.
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Myshkin and her Ruby Warblers Wednesday, May 17, 2006
The lilies of the valley in our yard smell unspeakably heavy and sweet. not going so to and fro in Buffalo Italian drivers are just insane. Well known fact. It’s hard to hate an entire people who are all insane in exactly the same way. It’s like hating someone because of a genetic defect. Anyway, I am not given to taking traffic well to begin with. On the rare chance that I do get stuck in traffic it makes me want to play patty-cake with the 16 wheeler next to me or go running along the tops of moving cars. But my cool has improved greatly after my death-defying month long jaunt with the Italian drivers. Dinner theater She tends to cry when there are two or more of us together and when we are together is most often in the kitchen. Because we’re about to sit down and eat, right? Which is something she doesn’t do anymore- what with the tube and everything else. As soon as they give you one of those tubes you know they’re going to then want to start feeding you through the blasted thing and doing any other number of functions that they can fit through a tube.
Bought some ankle weights for training, set them at 6.5lbs a piece. Not much difference in soreness or performance other than taking me a little longer to complete my routines.
T.I.A.I.L.W.: The Quaker born undisputed sharp shooting star in that and any other age, Phoebe Ann Oakley Mozee a.k.a. Annie Oakley, who may have averted WWI if she had ‘missed’. Tuesday, May 16, 2006 do-me-do-be-do Because Kate got my brain on the subject and because the hair’s been annoying me up here, let’s all play the 'what short haircut should Ari get when she does cut her hair?' game! Monday, May 15, 2006 Maybe they interest me more than i like them. Do you ever meet someone who is unlike anyone else you’ve ever met on earth and you think, ‘Wow. I am really glad I live in a world that has a person like this in it. That this world is a place that a person like this can exist.”, even if you know you may never see that stellar person again nor ever be able to share something with them? I really need to fall in love with more non-fictional characters. T.I.A.I.L.W.: Detective Deanna ‘Den’ Ransome, from the recently completed mini-series Down by Warren Ellis. Old family photos of mostly dead relatives I never met. Odd thoughts while looking over old black and white and sepia tone photos from Australia. Looking from a picture of my mum and my aunt in their youth in the garden and then looking up at both of them now. Are they really related? I mean yes they had the same mother- but. But how would I know anything else honestly, hum? I remember trying to get my mother’s father to talk about what he knew; I asked him how you teach a foal to ride. He gave the most rudimentary and insufficient answer to my question and then lapsed back in to a silence in which he was obviously carrying on rambling conversations with himself. It’s hardly like I’m asking for a divulging of family secrets.
Yesterday entirely taken up by cramping in bed being dosed out on codeine. TV boring as almost always- couldn't watch it. Managed to finish a book, started another one. Had a good conversation with an imaginary stranger in my bed who was keeping me warm. No one bothered me. They simply decided that I had elected to sleep all day for no apparent reason and this was fine. Sunday, May 14, 2006
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Jakita Wagner from Warren Ellis’s Planetary. Even if the size of her boobs makes me cringe a little every time she does any jarring physical action. If she weren’t nearly indestructible I bet she’d get horrendous back pains.
My dad wants me to take my cats back with me to NM. I have no idea how my room mate will react to this. I’m happy at the thought, I haven’t lived with my kitties for such a long time- but of course I’m also worried- about them getting there, about bill being ok with it, and definitely about them being safe in the house. I this desire or debauchment? That infernal temptation of the blood that prompts to go out, out, be loud, loud, and do stupid, stupid, forgettable things all over again. Yet another lyrics post Devotchka - Commerce City Sister Saturday, May 13, 2006
Any of you more technologically up to date than I, can you inform me if there is some sort of a program wherein you scan printed material and it recognizes the text of the scanned document and re-creates it in a pasteable text form? If no, why haven’t you made one yet?!? “See Carmel can still remember the authors.” – Mum “I’ve gotten past wanting to remember it.” - Carmel Boring for you but important to me, Mum's favorite poems:
T.I.A.I.L.W.: How could I since my adolescence could i have forgotten Winona Ryder as Ms. Mina Murray in the 1992 Dracula? Gguuaaahhh *drool*
Someone on the ride down to the airport said upon seeing Albuquerque that the downtown “…looks like Buffalo! Except with less brick! Nothing there is over 10 stories high.” Carnage as the principal of Culture? The Mogul had elephant tusk daggers as part of the elephants armor. Elephant...tusk...dagger! In fact they trained the animals to USE the weapons on top of their natural weapons. If you had any doubt about the Mogul’s fame in battle, check out their utterly bloody graphic art!
Mum mad at me for pointing out she is greater than her illness when she would rather believe it is controlling her. Carmel, my aunt, is of course without such convictions and could care less what mum thinks- she’s here to hold her hand regardless. Still there is something in me that will not recognize her weakness, that will not lend a hand to it, that down right abhors it. I keep thinking of those who have suffered so much worse. I try to remember a time before complaining as a form of communication.
Bully Hill’s Love My Goat is the current favorite wine at the house. It really is one of the best cheap but well rounded wines I’ve ever had. Thursday, May 11, 2006 This is not her, it is her illness talking. When will I see my mother again? I know how to administer all her medications and when. So many steps with valves, piping, and connections. It's not just one thing to try to combat of course. The liquid painkillers are the least of our worries. In a week they’re going to have to give her morphine though. Joy. This has been your public service rant for the day. You know why I burn CDs? And no, it’s not because I’m poor and have no access to the stuff anyway- if you can burn CDs you can sure as hell afford to buy at least some of them. As an artist, if your music is so bland that only one or two songs on an entire full length CD are worth listening to, then should people really be paying for the rest of the crap they don’t actually want to be listening to? With i-Tunes and other online services, one can do exactly this. May I note that on such services the amount of new music far out ways the worldly or the classical. Even if you do go pirating whole CDs like a fiend the experience of a CD; that is the unique artwork, lyrics, design, paper, and packaging, things that were so important in the production of CDs in the 90’s, are utterly lost. For instance, does my actually owning the CD ‘Dark Side Of The Moon’ bought from the store change my experience of that CD? You bet your pirating arse it does. So my pirating CDs is based on a value judgement of that art. Having a pirated CD is like my test run of it (even though I can afford the best of what appeals to me, thanks to the music industry, the big label stars still ain’t cheap yo). Luckily for the music industry, I am not the general market they have to sell to. All but two of the last 10 CDs I’ve actually wanted to buy I had to order directly from the musicians themselves- and guess what? They sell them cheaper and that’s more money in their pocket that way.
More cute t-shirts “What do you call American wif PhD in maff an physfics? Stupid American!” –Southpark Comedy remains what I care to watch most of these days. I could care less if it's jokes about bloody anal prison rape, aborted fetus racial slurs, World War II, pyro-necro-fecal-bestiality, lesbian sexual inadequacy, or me as long as it’s a damn joke. When I grow up, I want a workout room with: Kettlebells 16kg, 24kg, 28kg
I am sure the reason I don’t perform (or haven’t in ages) is in the fact that I believe if I perform I have to do something really worth being applauded for and watched. Not just something silly or outlandish, routine and perfect, or because it’s someone you know doing something you’ve never seen them do before, or never seen done in town before- but a feat that you don’t see everyday. Something that’s downright difficult to do! Of course exactly what makes me laugh and applaud is generally those silly outlandish things that I regularly go to shows in town to see simply because I’ve never seen it done before in Santa Fe or by those people. Maybe i just need to lighten up about the idea of myself entertaining people comedicly instead of just in comics. One of the best KO boxers ever. R.I.P. Floyd. (wish i were) Walking on the beaches lookin’ at the Peaches. T.I.A.I.L.W.: Six time world surf champ Layne Collette ‘Gidget’ Beachley from our very own north shore of Manley beach! Told you ’73 and ’72 were good vintages. Wednesday, May 10, 2006 Around the area in NSW where I spent my childhood summers. Forbes, Lithgow, Eugowra, and Orange. 'Those little tacitos! I love them so much!' –Gir Bad tacito, no digestion for you. Uuuurrrhhh…. The father of hip-hop!
There are support polls in the basement where I do my daily workout…I’ve heard that poll dancing is a pretty good work out….
My cousin Christina was absolutely Vicky Pollard from Little Britain in her youth- still sounds like her now.
One of my heros, Peggy, in The College magazine from last year. The Particular and Irritating Phone Rules: From a friend of Lindsey's, least we forget in our dating folly: Shut up and kiss me, my allergies are killing me. Did I mention off all the places on earth I’ve lived and visited, I’ve only had allergies living in NM? Check out the research and pity me. PLEASE. Update on blog form: Took off the text generator up the top since i got sick of constantly reading about Vin Diesel, also am opening up entries to all people who want to comment- so fear not responders! You don't have to sign up for anything and you don't even have to leave your name!
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Melissa ‘Missy’ Peregrym who did an entertaining job in the movie Stick It. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before Mr. Hawking; Slowly working my way through Stephen Hawking’s ‘A Brief History of Time’. Tuesday, May 9, 2006
Buffalo Bar Fly will come in handy this weekend. A certain joint called Ms. Kitty's Martini Bar begs to be visited as does The Buckin' Buffalo Saloon featuring *drum roll* the countries only mechanical bucking Buffalo!!! Since i can't find a single bucking mechanical anything in New Mexico...Yee-har!
<dork out> Klingon/Vulvan/Romulan translator. </dork out>
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun. Tulips, violets, magnolias, forsythia, lilies, chrysanthemum, hydrangeas. Love birds cloud the summer sky First Jeanne and John and Emily and Chris. Now Jeff just proposed to Nicola (i will always refer to him as Neo-Con Boy though) and Marnie and John have their date down. Monday, May 8, 2006 50/50 chance of being somewhat good. Hyperactivity Festival
I am the inheritor of an estate of british tastes that ranged the globe
Macadamia Rooibus tea rocks! I love this stuff!
What if it is more important to accept the way a person loves rather than to simply love them or accept them? I’m talking about the problems that occur when you simply love someone but can’t accept the way they love you, or you accept someone but can’t accept their love. Harumph. So there. Superstars among us. yay! Melakah has a website! When I first met her I repeated her name aloud and before I could ask what it meant or how she’d got it she said, ‘Hey when my Dad came to this country and I was born he couldn’t speak any English, ok?’, and then gave a rolling laugh that shook her whole chest and made her whole face smile in a glowing way.
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Jennifer Camper
It was Dad’s birthday yesterday. I got him a Saddam Hussein birthday card and a copy of Fantasia on DVD is speeding its way to our mailbox (couldn't find the damn thing here since this place is devoid of culture). All he wanted out of the day was some solitude. He sat on the porch as the sun set with a cigar and some brandy and wondered what he’s done with his 59 years, or so he said. Comics for the blind. What could you do about that? By their very nature it's a medium that requires sight. Raised and depressed imprinting on simple solid black lines? Lino and woodcuts in a sequential collection? Pop up books? Touch sensitive voicing imbedded in a book? Suffering in others wor(l)ds. "I know you, you're damaged. You were born to a woman who believes that suffering is good for the soul, so you suffered. Your life is a testament to pain, injuries, accidents. Some inflicted upon others, others inflicted upon yourself. Surrounds you like a bubble, but it's not real, that's just something she put into your head. It's something you wanna believe 'cause it means that you're the problem, not the world that you live in. You wanna believe it because it means that you're bad luck, like a cancer that needs to be removed. Because you hear her voice every day, and you want her to be right." An advert against gay de-programming? Picture this- Head to mid calf shot of tanned muscular beef cake boys mixed in with skinny twinks, big old bears, cowboys, leather men, and disco queens all in a row standing tight beside each other, arms linked or otherwise touching one another in comfortable and unassuming ways, their bodies alternating between facing forward and back. Sunday, May 7, 2006
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Dawn Bennett, who does Germain’s voice from Ill Will Press. With a huge woofer and tweeter. How the Bruiser Cruisers stack up.
How to pop a wheelie and a stoppie Not a recommended way to clear your sinuses. I cracked the cartilage in my nose last week. Again. Oddly enough it really didn’t hurt as much the second time even though the cracking sound was just as loud. In fact it actually cleared out my nose instead of clogging it up like last time. They tell me 30 is great but it’s 40 I’m weary of. Why do so many middle aged people I know live in the land of excuse? They won’t do the things that are best for them, only a few of the things that are good for them, and they won’t do anything to change their position in all of this. Even the things they really love get forsaken. It’s as if they’ve given up trying and searching or forgot that they need to. Excuses. Big fat unchanging comfortable middle aged excuses. Creative ideas for free.com There's just not enough time. There's never enough time. Which is why you have to be selective with creative ideas; which is also why sometimes your duty as the recipient of the initial seed of an idea is simply to pass it on to someone who can use it. We use to have a binder in high school where we’d do this- they were mostly writing ideas. Now I’m thinking I should buy the above domain name. We could make a whole hub and anyone could contribute and take, keep us posted on their progress as they take on the idea, get feedback when they get stuck. It would be a lot easier than my usual going to bars to dig through drunkard’s stories- that’s for sure. Here’s a story idea that’s been kicking around in my head for a while: Person 1 and 2 are in a monogamous relationship. Though they’re a young couple, they’ve been together for years already. They just moved to a new town to facilitate living the next parts of their adult lives out. So they’re establishing themselves, settling in and meeting new people at a leisurely pace. After about 6 months it becomes apparent that Person 2 is having issues that are affecting the relationship. Sex isn’t happening as frequently, Person 2 isn’t initiating it ever, and Person 2 is actually almost getting into situations where sex outside the relationship happens without Person 1’s knowing it. Person 2 goes so far as to wander from the bounds the two have and Person 1 is so accepting of what Person 2 says are ‘My problems, not yours’, that it actually maddens Person 2. Saturday, May 6, 2006
I was just thanked on behalf of the Baltimore International Airport for my "cooperation in these times of heightened alert" for "not accept packages or give alms". A song for me to sing while modeling. In Paris
The old head of Paramount security and a former Johnny, Tait Fletcher, is on Spike TV’s Ultimate Fighter thingy.
Right- off to my parents house for now. Savor a New Mexico spring for me while i'm gone; everyone else- go to yon local comic book store today for a free comic. Things you won't see or experience in big cities I saw a cowboy on his horse in full tack walking up Cerrillos yesterday. He glanced over at me on my bike and gave me one of those John Wayne shot off the saddle horn sorts of waves. The guy was still going up Cerrilos when I turned around after doing my errands. One good reason to read the Obits. "You know what I think when I'm this close to another body? I think one day at one moment... this body that I'm holding in my arms will stop breathing... stop living. Just... stop. One day you'll happen upon my name in the obits and you'll remember this moment when we were so close." -Sookie from Igby Goes Down.
Kate rented the original Battlestar Galactica by mistake instead of the new one. Oh my great googely moogely it sucked! Bill rectified the situation buy renting the NEW one. Failed Pick up line #32 (thanks to Dan) “So what do you think about your womb?” More senior Johnny quotes: “My Kant hurts from too much head” As the band wound down at Lola’s she said: “It was worth all my laundry money just to watch him walk away.” – Ms. Sam Holiday.
We smacked on the black, got out hair and makeup did and went to shake it. Never had so much fun with fake blood in my life. 2006 has finally been graced with me in a skirt- a very tight leather skirt at that. Remarkable that with the skirt and the high heal boots I didn’t fall on my arse dancing. Pictures of the adventure to come. Our human equivalencies “Time is not money but money is time.” – Reike Monday, May 1, 2006 Told you i should have stayed in bed. Owww...The Stupid. It hurts.
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