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AussieAri's weblog
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last modified Dec 22, 2001 at 22:31
Today I convinced Cheryl I was going to get a Rabbids tattoo. She said she would break up with me if I did! Snerk! I may never have played the games let alone own a Wii, but I like rabbids.
A lot.
I feel such a kinship with these little insane screaming twits. I often find myself wanting to scream randomly (good idea for next BJJ tournament win? i think so!). I have definitely had phone conversations like this and dating instances like this, and there may have been a reason similar to this that the cows on my Uncle's sheep farm did not give milk or get milked (a plunger- isn't that novel?! You use to have to be imaginative with your equipment on the farm). I can dance though. Even the haka if you like. 'Ka mate, ka mate!'
There's some new sort of drink around here called Tepache. I have my doubts but it seems to have gained quite a bit of hype around here. It can't be as good as Kombutcha but I will report in full when I chug some.
Lastly, i leave you with the edifying performances of a man who plays classical music by making farty sounds with his hands.
Know how to freak the ever living shit out of tribes people who have NEVER had contact with the modern world?? Do a fly over with an aircraft!!
I know the tribe is in danger of having their habitat deforested by illegal loggers. I know the modern world doesn’t have a fix on exactly where/how many of these uncontacted people and tribes there are in the Brazil/Peru Amazon area. Does that really mean you should do something as invasive as fly over them!?
We have satellites people! If you can see them from the air, then a satellite can definitely capture similar (if not better in some cases) pictures!!
When I read the quote from the tribal expert who said they did it ‘to show they are there, to show they exist,’ it reminded me exactly of so many people that have ill-conceived love for something wild or something totally foreign to them that they will never and can never be. Some of the wierdies I met when I worked at the big cat sanctuary came to mind. These people will spend ridiculous sums of money in order to interact with, care for, and ‘preserve’ wild cats. They can't help themselves- they have to behold and touch what it is they care for and in the process end up taking from that thing a part of it's essential untouchable and other nature. You want to preserve big wild cats? Uncontacted tribes? Pink fairy armadillos? You say you really love them? Let me tell you what to do… Take that money and effort of yours- buy a huge chunk of natural habitat, use a monthly amount to maintain the habitat’s integrity from the outside in a way that does not interfering with it, and know that you’re not serving yourself- you’re serving the land, people, animals, whatever- that you WILL NEVER see.
And you WILL NEVER EVER SEE THEM. That is the whole point.
Chery gave me her old 4gb iPod. Woo! New Toy! New Toy!
I must admit...i'm not entirely sure where it will fit in with my usual listening habits though..
Before I left for my trip to Texas I was lucky enough to cough up $20 to go see some of the Trannyshack drag queens perform at our very own Backroad Pizza in Santa Fe. Trannyshack is the longest running drag show in the states- it started back in ’96 in San Fran (duh). So think of it: the two story pizza parlor crowded to capacity, the drag queens huddled in the corner of the upstairs pool room using large opaque plastic sheeting to create a ‘green room’, the pizza staff pumping out food like crazy because of the show, and 6 really really god damn tall drag queens that usually operate in far more fitting conditions. The setting worked out for the best in the end though because when the tortilla-flinging-from-the-bra food fight broke out- well, we’re already in a food establishment…
Other things of note were Heklina retelling the story of exactly HOW Renttecca won the title of ‘Filthiest Drag Queen Alive’ (inspired by John Waters’ ‘Pink Flamingos’ wherein Divine must protect her claim to the title of ‘the filthiest person alive’). The further away I get from the retelling the funnier it becomes but as soon as I start to imagine what the smell must have been like. Horrrk, urg. Because we live in the age we do and because I know you people can’t help yourselves here’s a video of a similar stunt Renttecca pulled with Kim Burly. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!! It’s called ‘2 Trannies, 1 Cup’ ok?!? And this is tamer than what she won the title for!! Even John Waters said “That’s fucking DISgusting!” when he was told the story of Renttecca’s victory. If you can’t watch the video (lord knows I didn’t watch it all) you can always vicariously enjoy other people’s experiences watching it. If this is all just too much for you, you can take weird but not disgusting solace in Peaches Christ who was also in attendance that night.
Suggestion was made by dad to use The Anvil Chorus (Try LA's Gay Men's Chorus version) from La Traviata as the background song to my future website. Tehehehehe!
It makes more sense than the Wagnarian counter part where it's slaves in the mines banging away, right? We've left that all behind ;)
There’s an old Australian Song that Johnny Cash sung and then there was a take off made called ‘I’ve been everywhere (in Texas)’ This is basically what my trip to Texas this past week was like. I hit every major city with the exceptions of Corpus Christi and El Paso. Yes. That’s right- Lubbock, Abilene, Houston, San Antonio, Amarillo, Austin, Dallas, Arlington, and Fort Worth. And some other lesser but still known ones: San Marcos, Tyler, Wimberley, Pflugerville, Wichita Falls, and Waxahachie. Phew. I am so very sick of driving. I don’t want to drive anywhere for the next two weeks. The spike in temperature and humidity in Texas made the drive mostly uncomfortable. The last leg of the trip was the worst for me as I was bored out of my skull. Past Tucumcari in the dark there just wasn’t anything to look at or listen to. I felt like self inflicted physical pain would have been worthwhile because it would have provided some distraction from the utter insanity inducing levels of boredom I was experiencing. Like Morrissey sings, ‘Why is the last mile the hardest mile?’
Here’s what I got while there:
Got a red 1970 Yamaha Enduro 250cc for free. Be still my beating heart! I will be taking it to a local nut who loves these old rice burners for some advice on fixing it up. Considering it’s been in a garage for about 20 years it shouldn’t be that much work.
Got a 130lb Anvil (haha! My anvil weighs what I do!) from the man that built the world’s largest anvil. I initial wanted a picture of me riding the world's largest anvil but alas, I will have to contact the guy who owns a parts distribution chain up in Chicago and hauled the damn thing on a custom made hard wood floored chrome lined trailed using the first diesel engine 1 ton truck ever built. Ya think this guy has too much dosh on his hands? Me too.
Got exotic meats, meat pies and Bootlegger brown beer.
Got replacement parts for the Isuzu.
Got my camper shell back.
And what I did while I was there was train BJJ with Joao and his teacher Marcello Monteiro, watched the latest UFC, and generally run around like crazy seeing everyone. This is the first time I’d never met Marcello before and wow is he an amazing instructor just like Joao but with a few more years experience in BJJ. The seminar has probably changed my game. It has certainly changed my ideas about half guard and what I need to do to better my game. I would describe it all more but it would be useless- just go to one of his seminars or better yet train at one of his schools!
It made me irritated I don’t attend a school that isn’t using its resources in more useful ways and bettering itself more but I’m a stubborn sort so soon I will figure out how to be a catalyst for this type of change. I did feel a little guilty after listening to two advanced male students talk about how they would love to just do jiu jitsu all the time and run a school and then to have Marcello’s praise me like he did. Why? Because I can’t only do jiu jitsu or even do it as my main occupation. I wish it were that simple for me but again and again I have found my need to create and work with physical objects takes precedence over how I spend my time and over my desire to do martial arts.
D’oh.
I was able to stop by the regular weekend after party dinner that Angel Sword has. I saw so many people I hadn’t seen in a year and yeah I had missed them but what else beside these ren faires really gets people together like that? Sigh.
The dominant feeling I got from seeing all these people I’ve missed and hearing them actively insinuate me moving back in some capacity was sadness. I know I’ve always had a home in Dallas, its just that I have never liked living there so I sought greener pastures. Now I know I have a home if I should want it anywhere from San Marcos to Denton.
Brazilian Prostitutes start up their own line of clothing called daspu (short for das putas= the whores).
As the years go by, people at my college just get chicer and chicer about being geekier and geekier. Here’s a sampling of what Santa Fe’s end of year party was like: Parts 1 & 2. And the Annapoloids threw in their share with a ‘Borato’, the Brazilian version of Borat, and apparently they have some problems with some sort of white powder.
1. Hot running water with good pressure on demand
2. Fresh and clean laundry and linens
3. Well designed and tuned motorcycles filled with 93 octane gasoline
I have been writing really really awful poetry lately much to my glee. It does nothing that good poetry does, but then again, it does not reach the heights that famous bad poem-ers have. It has taken my nearly ten years to not judge myself for writing good poetry let alone utterly substandard posey. Well it’s all in an attempt to reassemble my personal lexicon after a most major of changes in life- death, so I feel good about it.
This wedding video done to Devotchka’s song Translitorator makes me want to cry. Just look at the bride. Maybe it’s nerves over what is obviously such an expensive wedding but she just does not look happy. :(
A while ago I posted about Philippine inmates doing Michael Jackson's Thriller. Now i give you the Bollywood version. I don’t even know how the lead man moves himself like that with and outfit that tight but it’s fairly indecent and disgusting!
I usually hate comic books done to lyrics but crap...look at the line up! It should be good.
Acoustic Britney- Toxic cover. Really, it’s good.
Tylenol 8 hour is my friend.
According to Jessie:
“Uglier cars, higher technology- I guess that’s all in the same boat. Can’t think of anything else except for the earlier nineties were really bad. That transition? Hoo! Pretty bad. I have to say. And now there’s more stilettos and less pumps. Yeah. And no of those early nineties Reebok strap shoes. Mm-hum. And fluorescents are definitely out of the picture. (laughs)”
According to Guy:
“Boy bands began…and then they ended. But I think they may be back now.”
According to Christine:
“There is no difference! I still live there. Smaller hair. We’re now forced to be environmentally conscious.”
According to Kay:
“No more geocities pages with midi files and rainbow fonts. Everyone has the internet. The internet is a given.”
According to Cheryl:
“Plastic cups made of corn. More transgendered people.”
According to Jett:
“Now we’re living in the future. The nineties was trying way to hard to be something and it never was. It was a poor imitation of the previous century. Every year of the nineties was a different decade of the century. It was uncomfortable and obnoxious to live through.”
Wear your helmet but don’t use it.
Nazi mother’s day. Yes that’s right. I don’t think anyone has really explored the relationship (which actually pre-dated which? Who copied who?) between American mother’s day and Germany’s.
Why aren’t you people BLOGGING! Entertain me with your lives! For god’s sake I am!
New pictures of some Tags around town.
In this picture you will see a Miller Lite freebe that was being given out at some bar i was at off of 6th St in Austin by a pair of very expensive and very displayed breasts.
As Guy who was there with me point out-this is perhaps the worst promotional drinking item ever.
Why you may ask?
No, it's not because it's a Miller Lite promotional item but you could start and end there. First of all- it's a neck key leash. If you begin drinking with this thing on chances are unless you do a keg stand you ARE NOT going to lose it. This can be a good thing but in this case it isn't. This particular key leash has a bottle opener on it so that you always have a tool available to open yourself another bottle of inebriation with. Also as you drink more and more beers, the little clip for your keys means that you will always have your car keys available to drive home drunk with. Encase this isn't enough for you there's also a little string to attach your cell phone too so you can drunk dial and drunk drive, maybe even at the same time!
The saddest thing I’ve seen since I’ve been back is the fact that all the people I actually liked that had stores down town are GONE. Without them downtown just looks like a carcass to me. What died and left this here? Though there wasn’t any parking there weren’t any people on the streets- no hordes of waddling Texan families, no tourists who think they’re mountain people or people on safari. Not even the guy with the rat that sits on the cat that sits on the dog was there or any of the familiar local vagrants like the white cowboy, horse, jocko, the dude with the popsical sticks in his ears, or that woman that likes to relieve herself on public benches. There was still a good deal more new homeless than I’ve ever seen this early in the year.
At times like this being reminded of the decay, abandonment, and run down into the dirt living that came out of the adobe dirt in the first place, I think back to a song I often sang when walking the less charming parts of Santa Fe:
In the gutter gasoline
Suffocates our self esteem
Desensitize, desensitize me
Hopeless hearts anesthetize me
Your voice will light our streets
when you are gone
This town is a garbage pile
If it takes us down,
We'll go out in style
She swears she's seen god
And we''re all forsaken
Hide the guitars, man,
There's windows breakin'
There is blood spilled on our streets when You are gone
The blood will cleanse our streets when You are gone
And I'm left screaming on this thoroughfare,
Lies a perfect angel with scattered hair
you tell me it's been lurking
This whole time down there
Just to carry you away from here
In the gutter gasoline
It shimmers like a serpent queen
Junk yard dogs bring angel choirs
my fortune caught with pipes and wires
I worship at their feet when you are gone
I worship at their feet when you are gone
Devotchka- Gasoline Serpent
Jodie Foster finally came out.
T.I.A.I.L.W.: Honey Harris, Local radio host on KBAC. Yes, her voice sounds as lovely as her name.
"If you were a care bear you would be peach fuzz care bear." - John
So I woke up and listened to one voice mail that came to me early this morning. It was an Austin friend calling to tell me he knew someone who had a motorcycle they want to get rid of for free if I would just come pick it up.
At this point I think I’m still dreaming. Hell, I’ve been known to mishear things said to me in the morning and late at night. Usually ‘motorcycle’ and ‘free’ are not ever words that go together so I call him back to check and see what he Actually said.
He says:
Yeah, it’s an early 1970’s Yamaha Enduro model. It’s a 250 that my dad has had in storage for about 15 years and he’d decided he’s not going to ride it ever again. You’d just have to go to Houston to pick it up from him.”
not that i have any idea what i'm going to do with this classic first cross off road/street bike besides clean it out and get fluids into it again so it runs... But who the fuck cares?!?!
Ahem.
YEEEHHAAAWWW!!!
Amen.
I just discovered the origins of the name Johnny Bravo. Ie: Greg Brady from the Brady Bunch’s stage name; played by Barry Williams.
There’s also a few bands called Johnny Bravo but they all suck.
David Icke.
Wow. What amazes me is the fact that his books sell. A lot of them that is. It boggles my mind actually. Just a reminder though: he’s a BRIT- NOT as Aussie.
Gay Deceivers
Hercules and Love Affair
Bonde do Rolê
Bran Van 3000
Today is Free Comic Book Day. Go to any comic book store and get a free comic of your choice from the hordes they print each year for the event.
May is National Masturbation Month. No i am not joking but it is a joke probably taken from the fact that in May there's Beltain, and if you're reading this page, you all know what the rights of spring are. If you 're in San Fran some fine wankers are holding a Masturbate-a-thon to support the Center For Sex and Culture. Don't go limp wristed this month my dear readers.
Let's hear it for the Parkour girl! (and their shoes. SHOES.)
Aside from watching all those amazing BJJ and Judo fighters like Shinashi, i could watch this stuff all day. I may hate running but good god i like bouncing around, jumping and especially climbing. I'm not really afraid of heights. One day, you know- when i'm in a real city that has something more than flat roofs and low adobe walls, i'd like to find some practitioners and do some intensive Parkour training.
In the mean time, i need to find me some Prasara in town.
Just for fun, here's a video of parkour and prasara mixed.
Doing some research on petrol alternatives i came across this article about biofuels being MORE harmful than helpful. Yikes. Doesn't mention anything about WVO though...
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