Napalm Tampons and other swell inventions.

I went to Wal-Mart with a black cat firecracker sticking out of my ear. We were listening to the Snatch soundtrack (which reminded me of last summer with THE infamous 'snatch' and how for some reason i can understand what the Parkies are saying) as we drove by the deaf school on the way there, and i paused to think 'it's a good thing i don't smoke'. Orifices are for sticking things in right? At very least they have stuff come out of them. That's one of the central themes of humanity people! Well anyway, it seemed like a good idea at the time on 5 hours of sleep. At least it blatantly reminded me to get tampons for Sam. Black Cats are small, incredibly loud, have fast explosive potential, and oath- they have hissing cat heads on them. I absolutely love those little things; how could you not? <3 I was amazed at how few strange looks I got. If you act normal and natural, then so is whatever goes with you- the wonderful social pressure of acceptance or denial in public. It's not like i was bothering anyone. The subtlety of it in actions in Santa Fe is far more amusing than when i'd dress up strangely in Dallas and do a 7-11 run through (no, not a run, a run through) with the freaks. Even the guy behind the knife counter in the sporting goods section let me see the new Chameleon II by Gerber. But then it started to hurt, so I took it out. The black cat, not the knife- you don't just go sticking everything you find in an orifice. Anyway, Columbia River makes a better karambit like knife called the Bear Claw that's less fuss and is more versatile in grip. 
 
In other particularly odd and good news, I’ve discovered a new game called ‘Spaz’ which involves hitting yourself, the ground, and the air, rapidly sometimes repeatedly, and ‘punishments’ and other ‘rules’ get added as the game goes along making it more difficult. Good no? It hurts less than beer bottle base ball and definitely less than Rock Paper Scissors Punch-in-the-Face. The equipment is far less than is required to set up the American Gladiator boffer trial from the Gym or any Fencing/Bicycles engagement and easier to obtain, and you don’t have to be drunk like Kings or stupid and drunk like the others to get convinced that it’s a worthwhile way to entertain yourselves. It’s played with Uno cards, numbered and coloured. A classmate from Utah taught me- I guess there’s not a great deal else to do around there. She said that she had gotten kicked out of countless places for playing it in high school, even public transport.

last modified May 23, 2003 at 9:15

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