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Deep Beneath the Stone
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Stories of Old
July 2004
The Mountain's Secret
My Profile
Name: Marie
aka: CityKat
aka: Bubbles
Age: 18 - eek! I'm old...
Birthday: December 13
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Location: The box that is campus.
Loves: RH;MIT, music, friends, the outdoors, all of my hometowns, critters, WAGGGS
Fellow Tin Soldiers
Blog Links
Chicken Soup For The Souless -What goes on in Jesse's brain, nobody knows...
In ThE Tub WiTh SquIsHy -Christina's log, so just keep swimming!.
Lean On Me -Regan's digital and cryonable shoulder.
Manitoulin Wannabe -The heart of the island's where her heart lies.
One Ring... -Ali's blog. Her straight forward is kinda crooked.
Random Thoughts -It’s Jeff! And the voices!.
Searching in the Darkness -Lex's blog, we'll force him to see dawn one of these days.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow -It’s Kuriosity!
Super Spidey -A cookie and a kiss.
The World of Cr0magnus -Tech Reincarnated
Undead and Confused -My favourite Cool Kid!
Moutains and Valleys
Fun Links
Chris's Site -Games, Pics, Jokes... He's got it. And BESS can't get him.
F-Concept! Oi!Oi!Oi! -Leader's only!... okay, and Josh and Bubble!
havesomehats -All I'm saying is; elephants, checkered people, and top hats.
Sinfest -Funny as Hell. Thanks to Lex for getting me hooked.
Too Far North (Awesome)!! -The best band there ever was! (Okay, that might be stetching it, but hey we love you guys!) It consists of a lack of independant brain power and a collective love for music!
Blog Shares -Who's winning today?
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With every slip of my hand, with every simple mistake – my grief is catching up with me. Someone once told me that no person should have to bare the heartache I am at one time, he’s right. However it’s better me than someone else, and normally I keep my attitude like that and I’m all smiles and I can have fun. Of course right now, it’s not working. With every mistake, with every new regret, with every hope that gets thrown away, I loose a little more of my happiness.
Not three seconds ago I figured out that I did something extremely stupid, however it’s not going to hurt anyone, and yet it almost brought me to tears. It’s been more and more like this in recent days, and though I will live through it, tough it out, the tears still threaten to cloud over my day. Things are catching up with me, things that I left in the past. Life is throwing things at me, things I am too young to help fix. And fate is throwing me curve balls, curve balls I want to just let fly. Still, I ignore them. I let them pass, I deal with some, other’s I can’t deal with. I smile as I fix others, I laugh as I finish the rest.
And then I do something stupid. I mean truly stupid – putting a shoe on the wrong foot, forgetting to figure out which way is up before I write something, not cleaning my room, letting a poster fall on my head, a pot over boiling. Everyday things, stupid things, and they get to me. They get around the walls, and the blockades I’ve set to keep depression away. They clamber up trees, climb the mountains to cross the happiness I live in. They beat all odds and get to me. They bluntly shove my grief, my sorrow, my regret, my sadness in my face. They flash pictures of loved ones I will never see again, they create a slideshow of all of my mistakes and failures. They show me the stuff I thought I was over, and they take away my smile.
They take it away and hide it. I start off being upset, depressed, sad and grievous, then I realize what caused it. I realize that my smile was taken by a simple mistake and I start to hate them, to hate myself – for they are a part of me. I hate how a mistake can take over. I hate how I can make others happy and yet a simple mistake ruins it. The good feelings I get from helping, the joy from volunteering, gone. Gone in a heartbeat. And only because I did something stupid. Why can’t a pay more attention? Why can’t I avoid these stupid mistakes so that I don’t run into this problem? Why can’t I be like Thidwick and go to fins other moosemoss to munch? Why can’t I be happy?
*hugs*
Smile! Just smile dammit!
P.S. Somebody wake up DeviantART!!! It's probably dead because Jeremy's the only one that posts, and he's pre-occupied, he won't even talk to me! So Jer if your reading this - speak! Et vous, si c'est vous qui lisez ceci, lui donnez un moment à dire bonjour! Méchant gars qui prenne mon ami...
last modified Jul 22, 2004, 4:30 p
Add a comment
Smiling is to a miracle cure!
114390 |
CityKat - July 23, 2004, 4:39 p
MARIE!
You can give me a call, or write an e-mail to me anytime you know. Just don't use first class...It doesn't seem to be working...If I am not home, my parents will give me your message, and I will get a hold of you!
Do not let yourself lose your happiness. Do not regret things, especially small things. You have a right to be happy, and to not have to worry about all the little things. Everyone makes mistakes, therefore everyone understands when someone else makes mistakes. Do not entertain the past, look to the future, because old griefs have a way of sneaking up when you least expect it, and new dreams can give you something to hold on to.
And most of all, take care of yourself. (This whole post goes for everyone reading it.) Smile is good advice.
Now, a smile isn't a miracle cure, but one person smiling can set off a chain reaction. The more people smile, the more others smile, which makes people happier. Sometimes, a smile from a complete stranger can be enough to make you smile and brighten another's day. Other days, a smile from a friend can pick you right up from the dust. So come see me, I will always have a smile for you. *points in all directions*
*hugs*
114303 |
REGS - July 23, 2004, 1:01 a
>_>
<_<
Maybe...
114254 |
Edicius - July 22, 2004, 9:42 p
My god... Did Jesse just say that?!?
114232 |
CityKat - July 22, 2004, 6:51 p
Don't set up dams and blockades, because sooner or later they crumble and everything comes rushing in at once. Let the feelings flow through you, because after all, they're only natural. Learn to live with your emotions, rather then avoiding them because they're inconvenient. (Now why does that sound familiar?)
*hugs*
114231 |
Edicius - July 22, 2004, 6:49 p
Come to camp
Hey you....i shall come get you sometime soon ...i just need to know a day when you're free...but call me at camp 692-3465
okies
ttyl
trouble
114225 |
trouble - July 22, 2004, 6:17 p
I love you, never forget that. I want to help you, but it's hard from so far away. I've already told you to call me if you need to talk (and it's me, i mean, come on, i rarely touch the phone), but whether you take me up on it is up to you. Know this: I am here to support you, take advantage of it. You don't have to face it all on your own, you have me, and all of your friends to help you get through it. We aren't going to go away, no matter how much you punch and kick and scream, and run away. So, talk to me.
And about Deviantart? I'm working on a deviation. it's a picture to go along with one of my old poems, The Last Sunset. I've always though that was one of my better poems, so i've decided to spruce it up with an image.
I love you.
Alex
114221 |
Biff - July 22, 2004, 6:00 p
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