|
Deep Beneath the Stone
Home
We::blog
Your Blog
Emoticon Legend
Login::Signup
Login
Stories of Old
The Mountain's Secret
My Profile
Name: Marie
aka: CityKat
aka: Bubbles
Age: 18 - eek! I'm old...
Birthday: December 13
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Location: The box that is campus.
Loves: RH;MIT, music, friends, the outdoors, all of my hometowns, critters, WAGGGS
Fellow Tin Soldiers
Blog Links
Chicken Soup For The Souless -What goes on in Jesse's brain, nobody knows...
In ThE Tub WiTh SquIsHy -Christina's log, so just keep swimming!.
Lean On Me -Regan's digital and cryonable shoulder.
Manitoulin Wannabe -The heart of the island's where her heart lies.
One Ring... -Ali's blog. Her straight forward is kinda crooked.
Random Thoughts -It’s Jeff! And the voices!.
Searching in the Darkness -Lex's blog, we'll force him to see dawn one of these days.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow -It’s Kuriosity!
Super Spidey -A cookie and a kiss.
The World of Cr0magnus -Tech Reincarnated
Undead and Confused -My favourite Cool Kid!
Moutains and Valleys
Fun Links
Chris's Site -Games, Pics, Jokes... He's got it. And BESS can't get him.
F-Concept! Oi!Oi!Oi! -Leader's only!... okay, and Josh and Bubble!
havesomehats -All I'm saying is; elephants, checkered people, and top hats.
Sinfest -Funny as Hell. Thanks to Lex for getting me hooked.
Too Far North (Awesome)!! -The best band there ever was! (Okay, that might be stetching it, but hey we love you guys!) It consists of a lack of independant brain power and a collective love for music!
Blog Shares -Who's winning today?
|
Apparently I'm supposed to respect him... Apparently he's just proud of me and I should be nicer to me. Doesn't she understand that the last seventeen years of my life won't disappear magically?
I don't want congratulations now... I wanted them then. You see... you ignored me then, when I needed your support. And now I get your hollow pride because someone else has chosen to tell me just how great I am. And I'm not. Sure, I've worked as hard as I can to earn what I have - the universities I applied to have all accepted me, and I have entrance scholarships from them as well. Sure, I'm moving out in six months (I can't wait until it's five!). Sure, it's a big step. Sure, You're "proud".
Where were you when I was failing physics and needed help? Where were you when I couldn't concentrate during exams and you kept turning the music up louder and shouting and screaming more often? Where were you when you tore my life apart the day you told me I was moving? Where were you when I cried myself to sleep because I couldn't understand history or geography? Where were you when all of the members of my class felt that I was the target of everything from food to rumours? Where were you when I hid crying behind the drier, bruised and battered from their latest "game". Where were you when I ran crying to the front door and Matt still had my clothes? Where were you when I needed your support? Where were you when I was trying to learn and grow up?
You weren't there.
I've earned everything I have, by myself. I've paid prices dear and unheard of... I've beaten myself up over grades that were too low. I've set the bar higher and higher every year. Never once did you recognize my achievements, never once did you congratulate me, never once did you tell me that I was doing my best.
You always wanted more, you always thought I was the worst, you always smothered me, you always crushed me... You never let my dreams grow, you never fed my self-esteem. It's no wonder I always think I've done horribly, it's no wonder I still have insecurity issues, it's no wonder I hate you.
Don't try to hug me now and pretend like you're proud of me. You don't have any clue what I've been through, and you couldn't name my accomplishments if you wanted to. Which you don't. You've never accomplished what I have - don't pretend like you understand.
You're right... You don't know.
*hugs*
There is always time to smile.
last modified Feb 20, 2006, 7:04 p
Add a comment
|