Bloody Morning After

Deep Beneath the Stone

Home
We::blog
Your Blog
Emoticon Legend
Login::Signup

Login

Stories of Old

January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008

The Mountain's Secret
My Profile

Name: Marie
aka: CityKat
aka: Bubbles
Age: 18 - eek! I'm old...
Birthday: December 13
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Location: The box that is campus.
Loves: RH;MIT, music, friends, the outdoors, all of my hometowns, critters, WAGGGS

Fellow Tin Soldiers
Blog Links

Chicken Soup For The Souless -What goes on in Jesse's brain, nobody knows...
In ThE Tub WiTh SquIsHy -Christina's log, so just keep swimming!.
Lean On Me -Regan's digital and cryonable shoulder.
Manitoulin Wannabe -The heart of the island's where her heart lies.
One Ring... -Ali's blog. Her straight forward is kinda crooked.
Random Thoughts -It�s Jeff! And the voices!.
Searching in the Darkness -Lex's blog, we'll force him to see dawn one of these days.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow -It�s Kuriosity!
Super Spidey -A cookie and a kiss.
The World of Cr0magnus -Tech Reincarnated
Undead and Confused -My favourite Cool Kid!

Moutains and Valleys
Fun Links

Chris's Site -Games, Pics, Jokes... He's got it. And BESS can't get him.
F-Concept! Oi!Oi!Oi! -Leader's only!... okay, and Josh and Bubble!
havesomehats -All I'm saying is; elephants, checkered people, and top hats.
Sinfest -Funny as Hell. Thanks to Lex for getting me hooked.
Too Far North (Awesome)!! -The best band there ever was! (Okay, that might be stetching it, but hey we love you guys!) It consists of a lack of independant brain power and a collective love for music!
Blog Shares -Who's winning today?

Pour l�esprit de vos enfants,
Pour la vie et nos enfants,
D�esse je vous en prie.
Pour vos enfants captur�s sans lumi�re,
Pour vos enfants qui perdent l�amour.
D�esse je vous en prie.
Vous qui nous avez gard�s
Sauf, loin de la tristesse et
La m�chante.
La m�chante, lui qui nous mange,
Lui qui noircir la vie,
N� du na�f narcotique,
Narcotique de l�esprit.
Narcotique qui est la haine.
D�esse je vous en prie,
Vous, qui n�existe que dans nos c�urs,
Vous, qui est l�amour et les vents.
On tombe, D�esse,
Comme l��toile des ciels.
Aides-nous D�esse, pour qu�on
Trouve les ailes sur lesquelles on vole.
Pour qu�on trouve nos c�urs,
Et laisse passer la nuit,
La tristesse,
Les larmes dans nos yeux.
Vous qui nous avez gard�s,
Nous gardes encore.
Aide-nous D�esse,
Les sourires nous attendent.
Les �toiles, les esprits contents.
Aide-nous D�esse, aide-nous
A trouver nos sentiers.
A trouver nos esprits,
Nos esprits contents.
D�esse je vous en prie.
Je vous remercie D�esse.

With our brothers we will share all the secrets of our mountain, all the riches buried there.
Email Me

Battle Fields
All the Riches Buried There

last modified Nov 19, 2005, 6:50 p

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Who died and made you King? No wait... You think you�re better than a king, you think you�re God. Who gave you the power to tell me what the hell I can or cannot do? Who gave you the power to make all the decisions? Who gave you the power to get your way and make us take what�s left?

Sure, you�re older. Sure, you have more experience. Sure, you�re the leader. But you�re not God. I�ll do what I damn-well want to do. If I want to, I will. If I don�t I wont. Seeing as nothing depends on me doing or not doing it, other than your status as God, I have a choice; do or don�t it doesn�t matter.

I�d finish this rant... but it�s really hard... as I don�t want the person to sparked it to think I�m made at him.

Meanwhile... Ali's bald! Help! Scary! Oh well... I'll get over it...

Jesse - it's all your fault! I said 'fuck you, shut up' the voices listened... Grr

I need face painter people to come help me with the Beaveree on May 15th... And volunteers? *looks at most likely suspects - Amanda, Tree, and Rachel*

Oh! PARTY Since I have been failing to do this... Party -
Where? my house.
Who? People I know...
When? Friday, April 9th. *thinks* Let's say from 5 - 10? (Yes, the time is getting earlier notice? This is what happens when you don't leave when I tell you to!)
Why? Ali wants to meet people!
What? Bring... Bathing Suits! Music needed, unless you want to listne to my mother's cds? *looks at Lex and Janis and Jesse(the usual music bringers)*
Sorry Regs... I know you're at hockey... Oh and someone is allowed to unborify this one... as Janis was whining about the last one...

*hugs*

I've been rich, and I've been poor. Rich is better. - Sophie Tucker

98249 | CityKat - 9:07 p | (3) Lost In The Void

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Home

I need to go Home. I need to go where I can help. I need to go home. I need to go where I'm needed. I need to go home. Please let me go home. Why can't I go home?

98003 | CityKat - 6:51 p | (8) Lost In The Void

Monday, March 29, 2004

Belleau Wood

Oh, the snowflakes fell in silence
Over Belleau Wood that night
For a Christmas truce had been declared
By both sides of the fight
As we lay ther in our trenches
The silence broke in two
By a German soldier singing
A song that we all knew

Though I did not know the language
The song was "Silent Night"
Then I heard my buddy whisper,
"All is calm and all is bright"
Then the fear and doubt surrounded me
'Cause I'd die if I was wrong
But I stood up in my trench
And I began to sing along

Then across the frozen battlefield
Another's voice joined in
Until one by one each man became
A singer of the hymn

Then I thought that I was dreaming
For right there in my sight
Stood the German soldier
'Neath the falling flakes of white
And he raised his hand and smiled at me
As if he seemed to say
Here's hoping we both live
To see us find a better way

Then the devil's clock struck midnight
And the skies lit up again
And the battlefield where heaven stood
Was blown to hell again

But for just one fleeting moment
The answer seemed so clear
Heaven's not beyond the clouds
It's just beyond the fear

No, heaven's not beyond the clouds
It's for us to find it here

The Last Unicorn

When the last eagle flies over the last crumbling mountain
And the last lion roars at the last dusty fountain
In the shadow of the forest though she may be old and worn
They will stare unbelieving at the last unicorn

When the first breath of winter through the flowers is icing
And you look to the north and a pale moon is rising
And it seems like all is dying and would leave the world to mourn
In the distance hear the laughter of the last unicorn

I�m alive, I�m alive

When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning
And the future has passed without even a last desperate warning
Then look into the sky where through the clouds a path is torn
Look and see her how she sparkles, it�s the last unicorn

I�m alive, I�m alive

Fit For A King

His pulpit�s a corner
On 19th and main
His grip on the gospel
His one claim to fame

He hurls fire and brimstone
At the cars passing by
And he offers salvation
For the savior on high

His khakis are tattered
And he ain�t bathed in weeks
His bout with the bottle
Shows up on his cheeks

He looks like a scarecrow
A sight to behold
As he works for the shepherd
Bringin� lambs to the fold

He points to the bible
He holds in his hands
Says I�m proof that the good lord
Can save any man

Son, it ain�t what you�re driving
Or the clothes that you wear
Material possessions
Won�t matter up there
And someday in heaven
When the angels all sing
These rags that I�m wearin�
Will be fit for a king

He�s fighting a fever
In spite of the chill
He pull up his collar
And he speaks of god�s will

His body is weakened
But his faith is still strong
For he�s filled with conviction
For the mission he�s on

He knows soon in heaven
He�ll be homeless no more
As his work will soon echo
From that far distant shore

Son, it ain�t what you�re driving
Or the clothes that you wear
Material possessions
Won�t matter up there

And someday in heaven
When the angels all sing
These rags that I�m wearin�
Will be fit for a king

And someday in heaven
When the angels all sing
These rags that I�m wearin�
Will be fit for a king

Ya... Umm I'm not sure what to say... Can't you just read my mind? And yes, country seems to be answering all of my problems tonight.

*hugs*

Plan each day as if you'll live forever. Live each day as if you'll die tomorrow.

97791 | CityKat - 7:24 p | (1) Lost In The Void

Friday, March 26, 2004

FUCK

Okay, I warned you he was stupid. I warned you he was trouble. I warned you you would get roped in. I was right. But you love him. So you paid no attention. Please think about what I said now. Please think. Please think about the trouble he's caused. Please think about the trouble he's got you in. Please use your head. You have a good one on your shoulders, so use it.

Please find your morals and ethics. You have them. I've seen them. Please use them. Yours are as good as mine, if not better. But you've forgotten them. You've lost them in your blind love. Please find them. If not for my sake. If not for your friend's. If not to teach him a lesson in morals. And if not for your school's. Then for your sake. Please. I ask you to at least think.

97341 | CityKat - 9:31 p | (5) Lost In The Void

The Oak Must Bend, and Grow

I think I have found the cause of the bowling ball in the pit of my stomach. I do believe it to be all my problems that have built up, and simply wish me to remember that they exist. But I'll continue to ignore them as I have more pressing matters. My bestest has been suspended for one, and I'm not sure why. She is also still not talking to Tara. Meanwhile someone else has a family crisis, and I wish that man all I have, and all the goddess may grant him. As well yet another bestest is seemingly lost and confused, and I'm not experienced enough, nor close enough to help her. Another friend is in an off mood, and I dont'want to interfere to try to help him. Another is moving shortly, and I will miss her greatly, not to mention I will have to clue someone in to all the dealings of my past, or keep my problems to myself. Another friend has an issue bugging her, but I'm not sure what it is, and as I'm not the cloest with her I will stay away. Another friend is farther than normal, not in space or time, but in emotion and being. And yet another is confused with his relationship, not that he would ever admit it. Another I would love to be with, to cry on his shoulder and to let him cry with me, but I can't, I wouldn't last. Another I am growing far too far from, I know the distance makes things harder, but I still hate it. Another is closer, she lives in Sudbury, and yet I'm growing away from her too. Another needs peace and solitude, and her bestest to come home, but I can't. And all of them could use some tears, beit their own, or those of another to comfort them. All of them need love. And I can't give it to them.

I have been asked when I will grow up and stop whining and bitching about everything. And I thank you for asking. But this question I had to think about. I have always believed I grew up almost 5 years ago, but I didn't. I started growing up, yes. I took some of the biggest steps, yes. But have I grown up, no. I'm still a child wandering uselessy. A child looking for meaning. A child looking for comfort. A child looking for love, respect, logic, time, fun, knowledge, comfort, friendship. Finding lonliness. Somehow among my friends, I have, of late, been alone. No noise could make my attention move from my own solitude, nor could silence.

I look at some who have grown up. I see something I never want to be, but I so long to be. I see someone who can lock out the world and not care. I see someone drowned in their music, caring about the present, not the past or future, their present. % long to be able to block everything out like that, and not care. I long to be fully self-dependant, to not care about others. But I will always care.

I will always value others' opinions, what they have to say. I will value their time and effort no matter how little or large. I will always value what they have to give. I will always worry when they are in trouble. I will always care when they are sad. I will always dance when they need a break. I will always be a prisioner of other's needs. Never their wills. For I am no slave. But of my own choosing I will forever serve their needs.

Maybe this means I have grown more than I think, and I know something I shouldn't. I have known this for a while, simply not voiced it. Or maybe this means I am far younger than I believe and I have more growing up to do. It has been said that it matters not how old you are, but how you are old. This is true, for an age is nothing but a number. It is soley a count of summers lived. But how you are old is a measure of your mental security, how you have grown up. However never use this saying with me, for though it matters how you are old, it also matters how old you are. Me I'm 15. And how I am old? I'm not sure. Maybe my words will tell me. Maybe my actions will tell the world. But for now I still have a question to answer, when exactly WILL I grow up?

*hugs*

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake entire relationships. - Sharon Stone

97334 | CityKat - 8:49 p | (5) Lost In The Void

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Posts!

Yes people, there are 8 other posts from today. I wrote down those random thoughts. All 9 are pretty badly written, I'll undoubtedly fix them later. If you have comments please post them on the post to which they coincide, not the latest, or the oldest, or the 5th or the 8th.

I'm in a twisting or words state of mind, and most of these posts are more random than you could ever imagine... (note to self - post on whale sperm) Don't ask, or at least not me. Tara knows, ask her.

Ya... ummm... I should go do my french homework. Oh! And.... I forget...

Oh, Regs I wasn't forgetting people, there are just reasons why lots of people weren't named, as it won't be them. Trust me on this.

Nee way... SPQR Nathan! And luvs yas and fuck yous to Tara and Ash. And undamn yous and 15 days! to Ali. And monkies! to Janis. And Crocodiles to CwiSsY And you're not being alienateds to Jesse! And other things to other people.

*hugs*

Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. - Shari R. Barr

Oh! And those of you who know of Darien's othe site, read it! It's great! Just don't read it in History class...

97145 | CityKat - 10:13 p | (2) Lost In The Void

Morals and Values, terms lost with the times

Please someone help me understand. Help me to understand how we have come to live in a world where money is everything, where it is the sole thing that matters. When did money become more important than respect, honour, and being plain-old helpful? When did it become so valued? Not a moral, but a value?

When asked to 15 students whether they would accept the job that paid 250000 a year + 2 months vacation, or the job that paid 280000 a year + 2 and a half weeks vacation, the votes were tied. Most of the students asked, well what does that come out to in a /hour wage? They�ll take the higher. Well of course with less vacation you work more and therefore earn more!

The looks shot at the two of us who replied that the things most important to us were helping other, our families, and doing what we enjoy even if it pays less could have killed.

When did the society change to make money a moral accomplishment? And when does it change back?

97141 | CityKat - 10:01 p | (6) Lost In The Void

Equal AND Different?

People with disabilities always ask to be treated the same as others. To be equal to those without. I have no problem in granting this request. However, I do have a problem with them then calling us mean and cruel-hearted when we work them as hard as others, when we expect things of the same quality and standards of others, when we treat them like others.

If you wish me to pity you, and to be overly easy on you, fine. If you wish me to treat you as an equal, fine. But if you wish me to write in some imaginary line wherein in some things you should be equal and others you shouldn�t, please point out those instances. I�ll use my good old enemy Jessica as an example. Now Jessica you see hasn�t grown since before preschool, she�s always been the same size. Maturing but physically deformed and not growing. She can�t walk either, she �scoots� everywhere.

Now Jessica has been begging to be treated the same ever since I met her in preschool. She refused to always play the baby just because she was a foot and a half tall didn�t mean she couldn�t be mommy. As she grew her demands grew. However when we tried to treat her equally she turned into a bitch, as if we were scum who didn�t respect the fact that she was disabled. She refused to participate in fitness tests, in pep rallies, in class projects. We had to bring stuff to her, she wouldn�t go get it herself even with her wheelchair. And if she were to punch us, NEVER were you even to touch her, lest you break a bone.

So where are we to draw the line, where should we stop? Please tell this to us, as you are our equal and we will not sit around waiting for your answer.

97135 | CityKat - 9:50 p | (0) Lost In The Void

Bowling Ball

I feel as if I have a bowling ball in my gut. As if an enormous weight rests on my shoulders but is not someone else�s, or has anything to do with anyone else, but it is entirely my own. But every teenager has their bad days and their good days, and nobody has no weight on their shoulders. So why does my weight feel different? I know the feeling of weight on my shoulders, I�m used to it. I know the feeling of that weight when it�s my own, and when it�s other people�s. That weight never leaves me. But this. This is different.

This is not a weight on my shoulders. This only weighs down my mood, my gut and my heart. I�ve felt this feeling before, I recognize it, so what�s the problem? Normally you know why these moods hit you. You can identify the weights. You know their creators and their questions if not their solutions. Currently, I know nothing. I know not what created this feeling, though I have felt it growing inside of me. I have not the slightest clue as to where it came from, who or what caused it, when it will leave... I know nothing.

97129 | CityKat - 9:35 p | (3) Lost In The Void

Pain's Relief

The act of crying... Oh how I love and despise it. So often am I so willing to burst into tears, but almost never do I do so, the tears being just beyond reach. Oh how the simple act of crying could ease my pain.

In truth I have only ever really cried three times. By �really� I mean I remember the salty taste of the tears as they rolled down my cheeks for hours on end. The first time I was so very young, and so very lost in the fair. The next, was just last September when my grandfather died. To make the tears flow I had to work, in fact I had to call Tara and make her cry. Then to ease my pain for a simple 5 minutes it took a 20-minute conversation with Ali. How those tears eased the pain, and how the pain made flow the tears. The last time, this last June when I moved. When one waits so long to find a circle of friends she can trust and rely on and then must leave them, she has no choice, tears are all that will mend the pain, as time only makes it worse.

Oh how I wish I could cry at times, and oh how I know I will never cry at times like those. If only the salty tears would flow in sorrow as the sweet rain falls in spring.

97125 | CityKat - 9:19 p | (3) Lost In The Void

big BANG theory

Okay so the theory goes that the universe was created from nothing into nothing. But nothing must have been something therefore it must have been something created into nothing, nothing created into something, or something created into something else. Understand? Probably not as it was Tara and I who came up with the theory... and she explains it better.

Okay, so the universe is created. Now what? We have to find the ends of it. Well it has no ends! You see here there are a few choices to go by. First, the universe can just plunge into oblivion like the world used to. Not my favorite, but possible, as it was true for the Earth, and our galaxy.

Choice two, after walking to the ends of the universe you may just come upon a giant brick wall, and a bunch of hot guys building repairing this wall. Tara�s favorite option, because it�s simplistic and involves hot guys. ( I don�t blame her.)

Choice three, make the universe a sphere. Then the ends would just join up and it would never end, just go round and round. Right? Wrong! Get out of your 2-D imaginary world and join us in the real one. There are at minimum THREE dimensions. So 2 of them may join, but the third would go on and on forever and ever never ending. Sort of like me when I�m talking.

Choice four, you can except that the universe never ends, even if there is a giant brick wall. On the other side of that giant brick wall would be nothingness, and we all know that space is nothingness. So on the other side would be space and that would be universe.

Okay, stopping at four choices, and exempting my favorite on lazy days �why the hell do I care?� and fell free to add others. Next problem. How the hell is the universe expanding? It would have to expand into something and that something would be universe, but the universe can�t expand into itself. This is true because the universe is of course everything, matter and non-matter combined. But it doesn�t make any sense! Plus, shouldn�t the gravity of the larger planets be pulling solar systems together??? And if not and it's expanding into itself would that just make a BANG! Maybe that's the bang... Maybe the universe was created by a past BANG of things imploding and minds exploding.

So our problem starts and ends with your definition for the word, though the term sounds demeaning, of the universe.

97122 | CityKat - 9:09 p | (4) Lost In The Void

Beach Wins!

Okay, here�s the situation. You have a beach, next to it a sparkling clean white dance floor. The beach has sand (no duh...). People are walking from the beach onto the floor. Does the floor get sand on it? No! It stays clean! Of course it does you stupid idiot. So if you want your children to stop tracking sand into the house, stop making the front steps into a damn beach with all that sand!

97109 | CityKat - 8:16 p | (1) Lost In The Void

Mood Swings

I�ve figured out the reason for my mood swings. My music. Well, not ALL of my mood swings, but the majority of the ones while I�m seated on this bed. Here�s an idea of my library lineup... it should explain things...

Wierd Al
Metallica
Eat Big Sea (not a typo)
TFN
Eric Clapton
Kelly Clarkson
Iron Maiden
Leahy
Farrside Quartet
Eagles
Michael Bubl� (Jazz)
Avril Lavigne
Shania Twain (the old good stuff...)
Tsunami Bomb

Make sense yet? It does to me... Hey! It�s India Arie...

97108 | CityKat - 8:14 p | (2) Lost In The Void

Taisez-Vous!

Time for the French Part. I WILL not translate, if you don�t like the fact that it�s in French, too bad.

Comment geni une expression! C�est impoli et respectueux en m�me temps. Par dire � un personne de taiser vous �tes un idiot que n�utilise que des mots idiot. Et vous �tes un des plus impoli personnes. L�exception est, parce qu�il y a toujours des exceptions, si cette personne est moi, parceque je parle beaucoup et le seul fa�on de m�arr�ter de de me le dire. Mais, cette expression est aussi respectueux. Comment? Il ne tutitule pas le personne. En fran�ais si vous parler � un ami ou quel qu�un demi-proche � toi c�est daccord d�utiliser le pronom �te�, mais pour �tre respectueux � les autre vous devriez utiliser �vous� comme pronom. En tous, c�est une expression parfait! Et pour vous qui n�aime pas que cette poste est en Fran�ais et vont complaindre � Taisez Vous!

97099 | CityKat - 7:42 p | (3) Lost In The Void

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Ring Around The Rosie

It seems the voices have come back. Which is good. But rather than just talk to eachother, they have decided to gang up on me. They have begun to throw random thoughts and problems and ideas at me, while dancing around my head, but never letting me stay focused on one thing for long enough to either write about it or solve it. Because of this... I've had a bunch of great posts today, but none formed because another something took over.

Now the voices have begun to laugh at me becasue reality is passing me by. And they're right. I'm busy trying to listen to them and everything is passing me by. Maybe that's a good thing, I can avoid the confusion and torment. But it's frustrating me... How can I help if I don't know of the problems?

...see I've forgotten the point of this post...

Umm yeah... The following people beware...
1. Regan - you're used to it, so no worries.
1. Lex - you're probably used to Court... So no worries either...
1. Darien - you should be some fun...
1. James - should avoid you lest you do have reason to be warey...
1. Nathan - you should be used to it by now, but it's about to get alot worse.
*yes! they should all be ones, as I'm not sure who I will turn to. I may turn to more than one person, but who knows who will come first... And yes, it will be undoubtedly only these people... Don't ask why, I'm not sure how to explain.

Meanwhile, Tara fuck you! Ash fuck you too! Now since that's over talk to eachother. Please! Before you drive me nuts! (not that it's far to go)

*hugs*

I personally think we developed language because of our deep innder need to complain - Jane Wagner

96870 | CityKat - 9:50 p | (3) Lost In The Void

Monday, March 22, 2004

GRR

I'll sum up my day for you in three letters - grr!

Anybody joining the I Hate John Club? I know Ash (if you read this) that he's your bf, but I REALLY don't like him.

Oh, the only plus side to the day - new dress for Montreal! Have to fix it... it falls down...

*hugs*

GRR! - Me!

96449 | CityKat - 8:25 p | (10) Lost In The Void

Sunday, March 21, 2004

We all live in a Yellow Submarine!

School tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait. It soo beats staying home. I'm gonna die once I'm done Post-Secondary... nothing to do... Ohhhh! Dock opens May long-weekend. Anyone want to come swimming with me? Have to go a bouy hunting.

Hmmm... *thinks* nope. Won't die after post... will already be dead. Wanna know why? Well I"m not telling. Dum dee doo... Dum dee da... Doo Bee Deee. Okay. Fine! I'll tell. I just spent a week with my father it being March Break adn all, and now my mom's gone to Pittsburg (I think...) for a week, then to Calgary. Guess what that means? More time with my father. Oh yay. Blah...

*hugs*

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin

Countdowns!

Easter - 19 days!!!
Dock - *grabs calendar* 97 I think... depending on when the long weekend is... so give-or-take a few days...
Summer! - that would involve knowing when we get outa school... Will count later.

96197 | CityKat - 10:22 a | (6) Lost In The Void

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Gonna Die....

Not only will I be falling on my bum, and running into things. I"m the only skiier. AND I'm already boiling... It's hot in my house... The only place I can breathe in is here - in my room.

WOOT! GOing skiing. T minus 2 hours and 33 minutes

My boots are all scuffed up from falling down that race hill last year... :'( I'll live. Anybody seen my poles? I don't need them, but their always nice. I need to work on my planting anyhoo. Seen them? Anyone? Oh well. They're only really good as brakes when falling down a hill. Unless you drop them at the top of the hill like I do.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Bored. It's 729 BTW. I gots me up early.

--------

Has anyone seen out gloves? We have ten million pairs. We also have a brother. He stole our gloves! We must go hurt him.... "Come here little one.... Come here... Come to us... That's right... Come to us..." We gots you! And you lost our gloves.... We don't likes you! Run from us... We will catch you.

-------

You're right Chris... That is amusing... Neeway must be off.... Mom's making waffles! Sorry Ash and Ali, none for you. No chocolate fondues to be spilled on carpets for you either - she still hasn't forgiven me.... But waffles! For you Sudbury people - sleepovers at my house usually end in waffles, plan a sleepover. Waffles are yummy. Sowwy Amanda, you didn't get waffles.... Maybe next time.

*hugs*

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. - Ella Williams

96083 | CityKat - 7:34 a | (2) Lost In The Void

Friday, March 19, 2004

SKI!

I get to go skiing tomorrow! And make a fool of myself.. because I haven't skied for over a year.... And to boot - I'm crap! Oh well. It will be fun. To many borders coming... needs skiiers.

Will finish later...

(and ta-da! it's later.)

Where was I? Ummmmmmm... What else... Oh yeah!

Note to ATM and MAT not that anyone other than Ali will read this... Would you people talk to eachother already! T - everyone's fed up with you... I am too. But I"m stubborn as hell so I'll never give up on our friendship. The other two however are wick of your whining and you not putting forth any effort, now I realize with MAT the effort is there, however do us all a favour and work on ATM. A (of ATM) - Ur perfect! Just call The Bitch back. If you read this while you're in Florida - you'll understand when you get home. 21 days! A (of MAT) - Talk to her! Please oh please oh please. She's not as stubborn with you as she is with me. If it was me and not you she'd sit at my front door and knock until I talked to her. I realize you have a bf and other friends and she knows that too. She just doesn't like it and needs to suck it up (The Bitch - take note). Meanwhile try to see it from her perspective, where ARE all of her friends? It was only you and me at school sweety, with me gone and you hanging with other people and lunches of the random other liked people things are hard. Just talk to her! Or at her if need be. Then let her talk to or at you. Please. ATM and MAT Please oh please oh please. If you guys keep this up I'm gonna go crazy. I hate being this far away and not able to physically help.

And everyone else can clue back in. What else... ummm I'm going skiing! WOOT!@#$%$#@! Am happy. Oh and I got them! (if you're not CwiSsY, Tree, Joey, REGS, or someone else who I was complaining to don't try to understand.) I got 'em! Now for the rest of the presents... Oh! Note to all people - as of April 6th (shit I forgot Tara's birthday... I think that's it.) the sidewalks and roads are no longer safe!

I smell like garlic... not good. SKI! (damn Joey taking that outa the template...) Ooo! I got to use my new boots! To go with my crappy abilities and skis... but oh well! I get to use my boots! And someone please send me times! Before my mother kills me (REGS - this means you).

I should clean up my room... I can see the floor... If I ignore my sax (don't worry Jesse you're baby is in it's case and safe)... and music... and ski boots (woot!)... and clothes... and shopping bags... and school bag... and notes... and brother's stuff... and chocolate boxes... and teddy bears... and clothes... and blankets... and clothes... and... and... and... clothes.

I'm bored! Can you tell? Oh! My dad got a new truck. It's (let's see if I can remember...) a 2001 GMC Sierra. Blue(which is all I really care to know). Ummm... Ya that's all I know. And that's all I care to know. I'm sure he'll be filling me in on more info shortly.

Guess what?!? Steeev's his own timezone! Yes I'm listening to Pedestrian X... Someone call them. Especially if you're not their mothers. Oh! Bif Naked interview with New Pedestrian World Monkeys X (according to Steeev). And they need their brainwashing devices... Especially after people scream when looking at them. Brand New Monkeys!

Am very bored... Guess what?!? My white board says (in order):
- I (heart) Me
- PUNK ROCK!
- I'm gonna miss ya (Ashleigh)
- Days until...
Christmas - 1
Easter - 21
- I love you Marie (AshAsh)
- Ashleigh is the BEST!
and last but not least because there's no more room
- Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Wow... I'm bored.

I had other things to say, but I've forgotten them. "Hi, I'm Dory."

Smart thought - That woul dinvolve my brain being turned on now wouldn't it?!?

Oh! Guess what - the voices aren't back. Make them come back!

*hugs*

Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. - Kathryn Carpenter

95990 | CityKat - 4:43 p | (4) Lost In The Void

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Damn Me

I try to help people, but I always end up getting in the way. So I try to stay out of the way and end up hurting them. So I finally find a balance and Fate decides that I�m her worst enemy! Why? Why screw with my mind? Why make me think I�m wroth while. Why make me think I have a purpose? Why? Why do you hate me? What did I do? I�m trying to be the best I can be. I�m failing miserably � my marks are low, my friends upset, my life in pieces. But I keep my smile on my face, in fact even as I write this I�m forcing that smile to stay, and I live my life. I try to be the best I can be. But I fail.

Finally a friend decides to reach for the hand I�ve given them. I have learned to not force them to take, or to not offer it. But now, finally, someone takes it. But guess what?!? I�m gone. The hand isn�t there. In fact I haven�t talked to this person in what seems to be eons. I know that they�re fighting with their family. I know that they�re relationship is suffering because of it. So I offer all the help I can. I don�t see them on a daily basis anymore, but I still offer what I can give. FINALLY they accept. Guess what? I�m gone. The hand is still there, the offer still valid. But for the first time in my pitiful life I�m not there. I don�t have my cell on me, I�m not at home. They have NO means of reaching me. Why? Because I�m an idiot.

I tempt these people into false hopes that I can help, that I will always be there. But it seems every time they reach out to me, I�m not there! Damn myself. And NO I�m never undamning myself, but while I�m on this road I�ll undamn whoever is reading this a few times (and if you just happen to be Ali, a few hundred times). Damn me!

Why? Why do I do this to them? Why do I make them think I�ll always be there, then when they turn to look for me I�m gone. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I force myself to believe in me? Because I�m always letting myself down. Why do I always want to help? If I never helped I wouldn�t have this problem. But no! I offer my help, I let them believe I�ll always be there, I believe in myself, and I want to help. In other words � I screw myself over. It�s a vicious circle. I want to help, but I fail at helping, which just makes me want to help all the more to make up for failing, which just means the next time I�ll fail again, but in a worse manner.

Damn Me

*hugs* Since I�m always so kind and helpful I might as well offer the hugs at least.

Brevity � the soul of lingerie. � Dorothy Parker

P.S. I�m sooooo sorry I wasn�t home.

95769 | CityKat - 6:38 p | (4) Lost In The Void

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

I'm NOT bitching at you... I'm informing you...

1. If it's sad and depressing... I'm venting. I'm not actually sad and depressed.
2. If I feel like bitching about you, I'll do it here. Where you can read it. I won't hide it so that I end up bitching behind your back.
3. You don't understand. Trust me you don't. If you think I'm talking about you but I havent said that I am... there are probably other people I am talking about as well. As yesterday's post was sparked by Jesse... But ended in me swooning over Nathan... Prime example... But you never would have guessed.
4. Bf = synonym for boyfriend... So is 'boy' at times
4. Bf = synonym for best friend... So is bestest
5. My straight forward is kinda crooked... (to quote Ali)
6. I love metaphores. Don't try to understand them ALL. Some of them just need smiling and nodding.
7. Most of the 'smart' things I post will be general. They will apply to me, or a friend of mine, in some way. Answer the general question! Don't try to specify, because you don't know what the heck I'm talking about most of the time. And if you do... Yay! Someone understands my messed up logic!
8. Somedays I feel two-faced. You will undoubtedly incounter the unseen face in these posts.
9. Not many people know of my childhood - you're not the only lost soul.
10. Yay! I got to ten! And I ran out of things back at 3! Go bs!

*hugs*

P.S. As per a conversation with my aunt. Mom if you're reading this, don't go all mom on me. As I said it's the locked up part, it gets to show it;s face before I shove it back into the vault on some days. And if you think I don't want you commenting, you're probably right. Read. But commenting may be a bad thing...

When fate's got it in for you there's no telling what you may have to put up with. - Georgette Heyer

95331 | CityKat - 8:59 p | (14) Lost In The Void

Monday, March 15, 2004

Sands of Time

The sands have moved on... So many good things, so few bad. But today my mind has decided to look beyond the good to see the bad I hid. The smile I normally wear has been wiped from my face... I feel naked without it. I feel exposed to the world. I have always hidden the bad behind the good so at least the world couldn't see it. Just maybe I thought, if I don't show this sadness and grief and pain and loneliness then I will be able to let only the good shine. To help others in being happy and joyful as I am. Or I appear.

Forth from my heart flows a dry riverbed. Unfed by the tears I do not cry. Cannot cry. Forth from my heart flows sadness and loneliness. I long for a shoulder to cry on, an arm to wrap myself in, a love to find comfort in. I do pity those who have never loved, for they have never known this comfort. But I do pity those who have lost for they have such a longing that never could they cry an ocean and fill the hole love left.

The sands of time drift by, slowly making the holes grow bigger. But as the sands of time drift onward, the winds will shift and scatter those grains of sand. The wind will turn to the happy. I have loved. I have lost. I now long. I will live. My smile will return, and these feelings will go away. For now, they lay before you. As I promised you my thoughts. And here I lie exposed before you.

*hugs*

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

95180 | CityKat - 11:43 p | (4) Lost In The Void

Saturday, March 13, 2004

I see me, You see wench.

How I loathe double standards. And how I love that word. I swear I�ve cleaned the kitchen nine times today, it�s been cleaned from top to bottom. The only thing I have yet to clean is the fridge.

In times past the men did the grunt work, and the women cleaned the house, took care of the children and the elderly, bred, and answered to their husband�s every beck and call. Today women and men share the same work. Welcome to the 21st century. This is the century in which I live. According to this dictation I should no longer be the first one called to clean the kitchen, the house, run errands, watch over the children. Funny... I am.

While the three male children currently inhabiting my house run circles around each other and the space in which I�m cleaning, I�m taking orders from *gasp* yet another male. He sees dirty kitchen needing to be cleaned, and the mental pattern is as follows. Needs cleaning... I�m too lazy... Not my job anyway... Women�s work... Who�s still in the house... Trevor, Lucas or Josh? No they will grow up to be men... Women�s work... Women... Women... Oh well, I guess my teenage daughter will have to do... Now where the hell is she? *shout*. Funny, it�s not women�s work, and it�s not my job! I don�t mind my fair share of the work, but you haven�t touched a rag in years!

Okay I�m done now... Only needed to fume...

*hugs*

A woman reading Playboy feels like a Jew reading a Nazi manual.

94817 | CityKat - 8:39 p | (3) Lost In The Void

Friday, March 12, 2004

Stop... Make them stop...

Original Message and comments deleted to insure the safety of those around me.

94667 | CityKat - 5:21 p | (5) Lost In The Void

Why?

Suddenly I find myself envious of a child. A young girl who was hated by all. Or so it appeared, maybe they feared her, maybe they loved her, maybe they just simply ignored her. The later it could never have been, for never have so many words been spoken out of ignorance, never has taunting and teasing had a target that just wasn�t there. Loved her? Barely possible. Their words scarred her, she lived, but grew up to forever wonder why they would say such things. Their actions bruised her, bruises heal, but as soon as hers were gone they made new ones. Feared her? The only thing they could have feared was the smile she wore everyday, even though sometimes her heart was far from smiling.

Suddenly I find myself envious of this girl. Envious of her. Envious of someone who knew the cruelty of the world. Knew nothing but love from her family. Knew that bruises healed, scars faded. The goddess knew she wore the proof herself. Envious of a child forced to grow up too young. Envious of a child who was taunted and teased. Envious of a child who was left to figure things out herself as no one ever had the time to help her. Envious of a child who knew not only pain and love, but love from someone who gave pain. Her world was never coloured in the simplicities of black and white, like that of other children. Never was her world simple, it was always filled with the hews of the rainbow. As she grew these hues darkened and lost themselves to shades of grey. Envious of colour.

Suddenly I find myself wondering why. Why would I be envious of this child? A child who�s life had never met the caress of a friend, never felt the touch of a lover, never heard the whisper of the wind, never painted with the colours of a heart. Why would I envy such a lonely child?

Maybe it�s because she could take the easy way out, she always had somewhere to run. Maybe it�s because her mind was never clouded with the thought of lovers and friends, of honesty and respect. Her morals were intact, and will forever remain so. Her respect involved no thought, it was shown to all, no one was too low to be respected, no one to high to rule over her. Lovers and friends had never existed. She had never known their joy. Why would I be envious of a child with so little? Why did a child with so little have so much?

It�s as if a shadow of my former self calls to me. As if I dream of reliving that life with all it�s horrors. But still a question remains... Why?

*hugs*

It's not true that life is one damn thing after another - it's one damn thing over and over. - Edna St. Vincent Millay

P.S. Thanks Ali and Tara. Love you guys. ATM Forever, I don't care what you say!

94664 | CityKat - 4:57 p | (1) Lost In The Void

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Bruises

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

Yes I know not many people like her... but I like the lyrics. They work for me.

And she's right... bruises fade but pain remains. Scarred for life because of a simple night. We all our, my pain probably less then that of others. Somehow though, it lays heavily... He seems to have forgotten it ever happened... That probably means I should forget as well. However I was raised to believe he was good, he was just, he was right. I was raised to love him, believe in him and do what he asks of me. Then he lost his temper. He's as stubborn as I am, or maybe I'm as stubborn as he. I was out of ear shot and in tears when he stopped yelling, if only I had continued to her house, or my tree. If only I had had the strength.

'Hold your head high. Look him in the eyes. Don't let him see your fear. Don't let him know of the scars. Stay strong.' I had to face him again, I had to go home, I couldn't go anywhere else. Somehow my bestests were three steps away and I couldn't dump it on them. Maybe he would pull another stunt, maybe next time I ran I would make it. But not now, they have enough scars of their own. They don't need mine...

*hugs*

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

94291 | CityKat - 8:37 p | (2) Lost In The Void

Tuesday, March 9, 2004

Please Comment...

Past? Present? Future?

Like the sand in an hourglass they build up. The first grain laying next to the seventh, the past laying next to the future. Like the ripples in a pond the decide each other. The stone starts reaction, but surely if in the present there are waves, in the future there will be as well. Like the teachers in our lives they need be split up. The past teaches, but the teacher will not forever be there to point the way, to make the decisions.

They coincide with each other. They decide each other. They need be separate from each other.

So when choosing your path, what do you do? Do you trust that what you choose will fall in place no matter how odd it is? Do you hope to reclaim the glorious past and all it�s glory. Do you reflect on the lessons the past has taught you but plan the future with no other regard for the past?

*hugs*

I will go ponder this now... Please do comment... My mind is too muddled to make sense right now and I'd love to hear other people's opinions.

Don't bring your organs to Heaven; Heaven knows we need them here. - Kristopher

94045 | CityKat - 9:32 p | (5) Lost In The Void

Monday, March 8, 2004

I Am Evelyn's Granddaughter

Let me finish laughing at whoever it is that think I would write the below post for English class... That's crap compaired to what Geiger had me writing... anyways...

My marks... as everyone seems to want to know them...
French -
History (or French... as some people like to call it) -
Math -
Music -

Yes! I've forgotten them all! When I'm on my laptop and closer to the papers I will post them for you. Then you can try to convince me that my crappy marks aren't crappy.

In other news... March Break sucks. I will be locked in my house like I was during the Christmas holidays. Why? Because my aunt insists on coming up to visit and my mother insists that I 'visit'. I doubt I will get to go skiing with Regs, or watch movies with CwiSsY, I can't go to the dinner with Tree and Court, and anything else I want to do I wont be able to do.

In happier news I'm going to the Leadership Camp! Woot! And Ali's coming up Easter weekend! And Band trip is just around the corner! And mom wants to go shopping down south! And then it's summer! And I get to work on the dock! And I get to go to Manitoulan with Ali! And Woot! Done now.

*hugs*

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the pther lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then - we elected them. - Lily Tomlin

P.S. So maybe I've missed places my marks... too bad for you...

93804 | CityKat - 7:41 p | (5) Lost In The Void

Sunday, March 7, 2004

You can only have one. It's either beauty or progress.

Why do we insist on destroying the beautiful? We do it in the name of progress. In the name of modernization. In the name of betterment. In the name of the human race.

Why do we insist on destroying the things that are pure? On caging ourselves from that which is a masterpiece of woven threads. Why do we insist on destroying not only what is outside of us, in the natural world, but on destroying what is inside us, in our souls.

If only everyone awoke to the sights I do in the morning. If only each person on this earth could look up at a clear sky as the sunsets and see a rainbow of colours followed by the entrance of stars, the entrance of our hopes and dreams. And as they watch the rainbows reflect. Reflect upon the hues of love, the energy of life, the joy of a child�s smile. The serenity of the forest, the sorrow of loss, the peace of friendship, the strength of family. As each hue of colour fades into the dusk, tiny lights of hopes and dreams appear. With each rising star is a memory. A goal. A wish. With the first of these stars children recite a poem and make a wish. With the last of these stars the children look up as their wishes are laid before them, as they are taken in awe of such a sight. Covering the black sky are tiny lights, perhaps one for each wish, one for each child, one for each life, most certainly one for every gaze of wonder.

Wonder passes, excitement is tamed. Wishes forgotten, sunrise named. As the sun rises each morning on this beautiful continent we call home it lights up a world. A world of such beauty that it cannot be captured by pen, by photograph, nor even by memory. The sun may rise to find a snow-covered land. The evergreens bent gently under the weight of the snow. The tracks of a late night visitor disappearing into the woods. The dark blue sky lit up by the reds and pinks of the sun make the scene perfect. The sun may rise to find not snow, but dew. It may rise to welcome its reflection on a still pond. The deciduous trees in all their glory, covered in reds and oranges, greens, and pinks. The evergreens laying silent, waiting for their time of glory, only subtly attracting attention. The last of the geese can be seen flying south across a crimson sky. And all is at peace in the heart of the wood.

Scenes such as these create unequaled awe, unparalleled beauty, unmatched wonder, and unrivaled peace. But as we grow older we forget to look. We shut our eyes to everything but progress. To anything but betterment, and modernization. Massive towering buildings block the colours of the setting sun. The bright lights of a modern town hide the stars. Love, energy, and joy give way to strength. Serenity, peace and friendship are overrun by sorrow. As slowly we forget how magnificent wonder is. Excitement is never tamed. Wishes are forgotten for generations, gone with Peter Pan to Never Never Land. Neither Sunrise nor sunset is ever seen as we spend our days and nights working under the bright lights of a city. Pen captures the beauty of this progress, it need only write a check. Photographs depict this newfound life of strain and stress; it need only be another criminal on the front page of the Daily News. Most importantly memories are scarred with the scene of busy streets, dark men in alleyways.

The evergreens are never seen in their prime, as their roots have been torn from the Mother�s soil and their bodies made into progress. The deciduous are only seen adorning the City Hall and main streets. The pond is filled with ripples as a stream of waste is poured into it. Polluting the once tranquil place. The geese return only on Thanksgiving in the form of dinner.

Is this progress? Is it betterment? Because it is most certainly modernization. It is loss in its prime. We seek to know the mysteries of Mars while the mysteries of our home planet are being forgotten and killed in the searches wake. We seek technology, while lore and craft are lost to the history books. Songs are now sung of power, corruption and sadness. No tales of heroes, stories of ancestors or lore of maidens and their sires.

We have progressed to a world without wonder, one without awe. The beauty we have not destroyed is unknown as we look to the polluted sky to search for what is beyond? And when we find it? When we find what we search for among the hopes and dreams of the stars. What then? Will we simply corrupt another place of beauty only to find another and do the same? If we cannot save our own planet, our own continent, our own cities. Our own souls. What will happen when we begin to rule over others?

93588 | CityKat - 6:56 p | (4) Lost In The Void

And the World Goes Round

To market, to market to buy a fat pig,
Home again, home again jigity-jig.
To market, to market to buy a fat hog,
Home again, home again jigity-jog.

*hugs*

P.S. This week should be interesting...

93550 | CityKat - 11:51 a | (2) Lost In The Void

Friday, March 5, 2004

1...2...3...

4...5...6...7...8...9...

*grabds and strangles*

grr I want to hurt him... or bad mouth him... or be mean to him... but I can't. Damn stupid ass kid is my bf's bf... Grr... He's bad mouthing my girls again... not to mention my bfs... Ash I know you want him in one piece... but please...??

Okay done venting... for now... If he touches any of my girls... expecially my bfs...

1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9..10

done.

whoa! Good luck keeping track of the acronym bf. In some places it stands for best friend (old habit) in others boyfriend... have fun!

93334 | CityKat - 8:44 p | (3) Lost In The Void

REGIONALS - update

1. Senior Concert - Silver plus... miracle.
2. Jazz - GOLD! Woot!
3. All Star Band Members
Rachel! - French Horn (you're awesome that's why)
Perry - Bass Clarinet
Biff - Bari (what else?!?)
Steve - Flute
Laurie - Trumpet (na really?)
Megan - Clarinet
Paul - Trumpet
Ade - Percussion
Joe - Percussion
Jeremy - flute

We rock!

*hugs*

93332 | CityKat - 8:38 p | (0) Lost In The Void

Wednesday, March 3, 2004

Grr Can I please Kill him?

Bite tongue. VERY hard. Don�t speak. Stay in place. Don�t get yourself in trouble... Screw It! KILL KUTSCHKE! Lets see his announcement... �Vote Kutschke� �He doesn�t like homosexuals� �He will kill them for his people� KILL KUTSCHKE!

Wait... don�t kill him. Let him die slowly. Torture him for his wrong doings... I realize he has a right to his own opinion, and that he is only voicing his opinion... but no! So incredibly wrong is his opinion... Why doesn�t he understand. I know he�s male... But why can�t he understand... please make him understand... or make him dead... Either way works.

(updating as the period prgresses)

Oh fun... debate now... so being homosexual is now a disease, a hereditary disease. Downs syndrome is a disease, but it can be cured. But apparently being homosexual is so terrible that they need be killed because they can�t be helped. Oh ya... and they�re being killed by the newly formed GBC (Ghost Brigade of Canada).

Yay! Now we�re ganging up with Bush... Oh fun! So if we vote Kutschke we�re voting to illegalize gay marriage and kill gays. Well once they�re dead I guess they can�t get married. Fun... Facts from the States... Do we care? NO!

Okay... There is no way on the planet that Sheridan and Chewy can get six women in bed with them! I mean come on. They�d need more luck to pull that off (not to mention booze) then Darien would need to get me in bed... (Don�t ask... convo at lunch...) (The eight-some is their cover up against Kutschke�s accusation that they are gay.)

92906 | CityKat - 12:40 p | (5) Lost In The Void

Monday, March 1, 2004

Skip this...

Okay, so as I'm walking out the dorr this morning my mother reminds me that my cousin arrived in Haiti yesterday.

Oh fun! So my cousin is in the middle of a warring counrty and could be killed at any minute. In fact he just got back from Afganistan early. After two weeks of his three month-long term. Why? He got shot. A rogue bullet hit him in the shoulder, shattering the bone, and forcing him to come home as he was useless for a little over a month. So he has recovered and has now been shipped to Haiti. Not so bad right?

Wrong. My dad's truck radio is set to CBC, which means I get early morning graphic pictures. Not the fun peaceful ones either. In Haiti in the markets you are invited into alleys so that they can beat you, rape you, then rob you if you agree to go for their 'tours'. Drivers are verred off onto side road traps by 'construction workers' who claim the road ahead is closed. Their vehicles are then set to flames or driven off of cliffs.

On lady who had a phone interview described a conversation with a couple, Canadian missionaries. They were huddled protecting their two young children in the inner-most room of their apartment. She described the screams she could hear from outside and how the bullets clattered as they richocheted off of the tin roof. The couple had intended to send their children on an embassy plan to live with the lady calling and stay in safety. Sadly the day the plane was in town the streets were covered in swarms of rebellious citizens and the embassy had encouraged everyone to stay indoors.

So at 7:20 this morning I had that as a mental image, and my cousin in the middle of it all. Not a good day... Not at all...

Blessed Be, and may the Goddess watch over her children and protect them in their times of danger. May she guide them in their times of need. May she teach them in their times of innocence. Goddess mother of Earth, Air, Fire and Water may you be with them as they set out on their Journies.

Chris - may you fight your battles as fiercly as your mother faught hers. And may you return home to us safely and quickly, though not before you make your a difference. I love you, forever and for always. Gerard vous proteges, allez en paie, allez avec amour, allez pour lui. Pouvoir la rose blanche touche pas votre nom.

92607 | CityKat - 10:26 p | (1) Lost In The Void

Guess What?!?

I'm DONE!

DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE!

Now I have a history project due wednesday (Eek! REGS- we're screwed), a math test monday... last one was horrid... 88% and stupid mistakes at that! Enisty help! (grr you and your stupid 104%s...) What else? Oh french test tomorrow, another one on jeudi (thursday)... Then theres regionals... ROYALY screwed as Steve put it. And jazz is okay, lack of trombones. Lackof Cats... Miss you guys! We still rock though, so take that! (evil people are going out east without me...!)

Oh! Line segments! I Jesse bluntly put it I shouldn't be the one dancing, but I will anyway *dances* Three! In two school days! Scared Regan and Rachel... They missed day one... Oh and Darien lost! I told him he would.

Poem for today... (still needs last line to be fixed...)

Mon coeur dans les nuages,
Je saute avec mon joie.
Mon t�te dans le ciel,
C'est juste �a, je ne sais quoi.
Votre voix sonne la jour,
'C'est notre fin, c'est fini.'
Mes pieds marche au bord...
C'est si jolie.
Mon coeur briss�e me lance,
Ver la terre de r�alit�.
C'est la fin, c'est fini,
Toujours, je tomberai.
Je suis briss�,
Je ne suis pas finie.
Je suis sans �motion,
Jusqu'aux temps qu'un autre si merveilleuse sorti.

No, it's not about anyone in general. I've been fairly lonely lately, that's all. yes it's in french, if you don't understand it too bad. Ali - help! Spelling! Grammer! Verbs! Help me out sweetheart, with a cherry on top?

*hugs*

P.S. Did I mention that I'm done!

92580 | CityKat - 8:40 p | (2) Lost In The Void