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The Mountain's Secret
My Profile
Name: Marie
aka: CityKat
aka: Bubbles
Age: 18 - eek! I'm old...
Birthday: December 13
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Location: The box that is campus.
Loves: RH;MIT, music, friends, the outdoors, all of my hometowns, critters, WAGGGS
Fellow Tin Soldiers
Blog Links
Chicken Soup For The Souless -What goes on in Jesse's brain, nobody knows...
In ThE Tub WiTh SquIsHy -Christina's log, so just keep swimming!.
Lean On Me -Regan's digital and cryonable shoulder.
Manitoulin Wannabe -The heart of the island's where her heart lies.
One Ring... -Ali's blog. Her straight forward is kinda crooked.
Random Thoughts -It’s Jeff! And the voices!.
Searching in the Darkness -Lex's blog, we'll force him to see dawn one of these days.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow -It’s Kuriosity!
Super Spidey -A cookie and a kiss.
The World of Cr0magnus -Tech Reincarnated
Undead and Confused -My favourite Cool Kid!
Moutains and Valleys
Fun Links
Chris's Site -Games, Pics, Jokes... He's got it. And BESS can't get him.
F-Concept! Oi!Oi!Oi! -Leader's only!... okay, and Josh and Bubble!
havesomehats -All I'm saying is; elephants, checkered people, and top hats.
Sinfest -Funny as Hell. Thanks to Lex for getting me hooked.
Too Far North (Awesome)!! -The best band there ever was! (Okay, that might be stetching it, but hey we love you guys!) It consists of a lack of independant brain power and a collective love for music!
Blog Shares -Who's winning today?
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Pour l’esprit de vos enfants,
Pour la vie et nos enfants,
Déesse je vous en prie.
Pour vos enfants capturés sans lumière,
Pour vos enfants qui perdent l’amour.
Déesse je vous en prie.
Vous qui nous avez gardés
Sauf, loin de la tristesse et
La méchante.
La méchante, lui qui nous mange,
Lui qui noircir la vie,
Né du naïf narcotique,
Narcotique de l’esprit.
Narcotique qui est la haine.
Déesse je vous en prie,
Vous, qui n’existe que dans nos cœurs,
Vous, qui est l’amour et les vents.
On tombe, Déesse,
Comme l’étoile des ciels.
Aides-nous Déesse, pour qu’on
Trouve les ailes sur lesquelles on vole.
Pour qu’on trouve nos cœurs,
Et laisse passer la nuit,
La tristesse,
Les larmes dans nos yeux.
Vous qui nous avez gardés,
Nous gardes encore.
Aide-nous Déesse,
Les sourires nous attendent.
Les étoiles, les esprits contents.
Aide-nous Déesse, aide-nous
A trouver nos sentiers.
A trouver nos esprits,
Nos esprits contents.
Déesse je vous en prie.
Je vous remercie Déesse.
With our brothers we will share all the secrets of our mountain, all the riches buried there.
Email Me
Battle Fields
All the Riches Buried There
last modified Nov 19, 2005, 6:50 p
Saturday, May 29, 2004
*Shivers*
Matante vous êtes méchante!
1. The water is very very cold.
2. The bugs are very very very numerous.
3. Homework is very very very very boring and annoying.
4. I have glasses.
5. There is no five.
*hugs*
Don't lead me to temptation - I can find the way myself!
108201 |
CityKat - 7:52 p
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(2) Lost In The Void
Friday, May 28, 2004
Children! Chill.
Okay, calm down everyone. We're all friends, no one's out to get you. What you post IS your opinion, and you're intitled to it! What someone else posts ISN'T your opinion, so comment but don't shoot them down, they're allowed to be different. Now, if you post that all homosexuals should die, along with women (because they're all bitches) and that you're goign to blow up some major building, we're going to bitch and yell and shout and fight. But I don't think anyone is going to do that.
If you play, you have to pay. If you played during the May 24 weekend, then you're paying now. Most of us are tired as hell, some of us still suffering from hangovers, and that's normal. But it seems a new way to pay has been found this year. True, when four people are on a bed, and two of them are a couple they should respect the others. True some people were asses. True you have a right to be mad. It's your opinion! But don't bitch others out when they have their own opinions. And if you aren't involved with these problems, don't bitch them out either!
Now you see what's happened here? We used to have a nice little corner in cyber space where we could post OUR thoughts, without being bitches at, or punched, or beat up, or sympathized for. Now, because we've begun to loose our respect for eachother we've lost at least two people from this little corber of ours. darientaylor and Checkerbored are now closed. Now I saw what was being posted on Just A Feeling and it was stupid! I didn't see what was being posted on Under the Red, but it was probably just as stupid. Could we just all remember that we're friends! Then maybe we could have our little corner back without needing some security guards or policemen to help us solve these things.
*hugs*
My mother once told me it was easy to keep a husband. All you have to do is be a maid in the living room, a chef in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire out the other two and deal with the bedroom bit myself. - some chick
108091 |
CityKat - 9:59 a
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(2) Lost In The Void
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Fireworks!
My moods have been like fireworks, nice and happy and glowy then BOOM! Until today I was in a make-out mood, since Saturday. I'm blaming it on Nathan, and vanilla flavoured condoms. No, not Nathan's or mine. And not used! ( ) I've been in the gutter. I've been moody, or bitchy, or mad, or upset, or grouchy, or hyper, or happy, or missing Alex, or talkative, or bad girly, or good girly, or just yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!
Tara!!!!! Help!!!!! I hate this whole thing... And be good this weekend!!!! He's been hurt, and you're hooked on someone else. He's cute though. But be good! Then again, you don't know what good is...
Ash, chill out for me. Be sure that you're moving at your pace. I trust you, and he's not really that bad until he gets a slingshot. Try to make him be nice, and make sure that you know what pace your moving at.
Everyone else - miss ya lots! I was in a real highschool!!!! Wheeee!!!! What the heck do you guys do during lunch without music?!? I'd die! Oh! You're french teachers sound worse than some of the immersion students in my school... I was gettting bored listening in History. Video was fun though, blood and guts work well, however those people needed help and they have my sympathy, not that it counts for anything.
It's rainy everywhere... It doesn't help the downs in my mood swings... And my normal mood isn't helping my wanting to make out... Fuck moods! They suck!
Anyway... Gotta get back to class... My laptop will undoubtedly turn off soon... Stupid thing.
*hugs*
Damn you White Shirt!... Thank you, I'm all better now... ten more points for me.
107789 |
CityKat - 11:30 a
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(2) Lost In The Void
Friday, May 21, 2004
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in Milton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Three cheers! Wheee! Teh grass is green here, fancy that!
107121 |
CityKat - 9:29 p
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(2) Lost In The Void
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
I hate mood swings.
My back kills, and I have a project due in 7 days that I've barely started. Shit! I can work on it tonight, tomorrow's grad so no time, and the weekend I'm in Milton so I'm not working! Oh yeah - Milton, it appears that I might not be staying for tuesday. Grr I want to! Can I please throw a temper tantrum. To add to the mood, Jazz band packed up our music, it's too early for that! I want jazz band to last FOREVER! I never want to see it end...
I have too many things to do, and not enough time. Fuck. I need a teddy bear, a corner, and some time to cry. But no time! So I'll just skip that and go straight to work. What the hell am I doign posting?!? I need to be work-
106814 |
CityKat - 4:46 p
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(1) Lost In The Void
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Spider on my bed!!!!!!!!!
You know, I try to avoid killing them.... but if they want to live they'd better not travel onto my bed like that one *points*.
SKWISH
Oh Yeah!!! LEAHY concert rocked!!!!! Awww.... the kid was soooo cute, she sang happy birthday to her uncle... awww...
It wasn't good enough for that, so we called it Sault St- - Leahy
106685 |
CityKat - 10:17 p
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(2) Lost In The Void
Monday, May 17, 2004
It's official. I'm no good at this helping thing, I play the game really well, but I'm no good at it. It's Regan's thing. She's awesome at it, but not mine. Janis had a point, all I can do is hand out automatic flowers. Though I do mean what I say, I can't actually help you. Sure, I'll give you what advice I have to offer, but it's rarely numerous, and rarely any good.
I'm probably one of very few teenagers, sadly, who's never EVER been suicidal. I've never been truely and full heartedly depressed, and there's no major tension in my family. And yet, I try to solve these problem's in other people's lives when I've never faced them myself. I try to make everyone's lives better, and I fail. Sometimes I even manage to make them worse.
There's nothing liek your friend saying 'I need help.' for the first time ever, and you not being able to help. They've trusted you to help them, you are the sole one to ever hear those words, and you stare blanky into their eyes because you don't know what to do. You can't help them. Sure it's up to them to help themselves, but you can't even point them to the right path. You can barely keep up with them as they wander lost in confusion and depression. You can't lead, nor can you stick by them because you don't know what to do.
You can't do it because you're no good at helping. I'm no good at helping. In fact I'm no good at anything. I have no niche so to speak. Sure, I try to help - but I'm no good at it. Sure I am a friend - but what's a friend that can't help? Sure I'm part of a family - but I'm failing lately, I'm loosing my grip. Sure I'm someone - but that could be anyone. "My thing's sound effects... What's your thing?" I don't have one.
*hugs*
P.S. This is a temporary thing... I just needed to say this. It doesn't mean that if you ask for help I won't try. The goddess knows I will always try with the best of my abilities.
106521 |
CityKat - 8:15 p
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(3) Lost In The Void
Randomness
Man I hate these new rules... I can’t log on to chat, send emails, or post until after nine. Grr If I had my way, I’d be sleeping then!
I had the most boring doctor’s appointment today. He can’t even keep a conversation going! I mean sure, the weather is a great topic and all but every time I tried to talk about something other than school, or school, or school, or weather the subject got changed back to the weather. Then it proceeded to turn to school. Then back to weather! And to boot, he did nothing. The most interesting part of the visit was finding out that I’ve grown three inches and lost twenty pounds since my last doctor’s appointment!
However the optometrist was much better. First the made me stare a plane. Then read some letters I could barely see. Then some more letters. And then a few sentences. Then they determined that I could use glasses, but only for reading the board/screen (in my case the latter mostly) and the such. You know the things that are far away. So I spent ten minutes contemplating getting glasses, finally decided that I would as it can’t hurt to have them. And spent the next half hour or so forcing the optometrist and his secretary and my mom to pick out frames – it’s not my job! So ya... I don’t have them now, but I should in a month or two.
I’ve been reading more of my book (Kushiel’s Chosen – Jacqueline Carey) than normal, probably because I’m not allowed to log on. I sit here contemplating how much I wish my life was like Phédre’s, and how glad I am that it isn’t. I would love a fairy tale life, with adventure and chance, and a hot Cassiline guard always there to protect you when you go out to play whore. Nah, I think I’ll skip the ‘Namaah’s Servant’ gig, would be fun to be Kushiel’s chosen though... Namaah was a wandering whore. Kushiel is the one who finds pleasure in pain. FYI.
I guess I’ll go work on my French project now... Damn Jeanne d’Arc!
Countdowns – IV until Milton
LEAHY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!
*hugs*
Peace On Earth was all it said. - One Tin Soldier
106517 |
CityKat - 7:53 p
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(2) Lost In The Void
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
I hate my life.
No I just hate my laptop... Now to face the wrath of my mother... 
105755 |
CityKat - 7:27 p
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(10) Lost In The Void
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
They're Back!
They're back, can they leave again? I no longer live on Black Lake Road (no I didn't move), I live on Black Fly Road. Grr
105503 |
CityKat - 9:14 a
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(7) Lost In The Void
Sunday, May 9, 2004
Boo!
I hate this not logging on until 9 thing... I forget all the things I wanted to say when I post...
12 Days!!!! I can't wait! Ali - I'm getting you up early and we're going to the market opening day! I can't wait!!!! shhh! Tara no tell!
Any way I'm tired... and sick...
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? - Jean Kerr
Oh! and damn the bible! (sorry all you curch people, but it's pissing me off right now)
105165 |
CityKat - 10:17 p
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(6) Lost In The Void
Post from Friday
“You’re allowed to fail.” No! I’m not. Failure is NOT an option. I will succeed in life. Maybe I make a mistake or two, but that’s not the big picture – in the big picture I WILL succeed. For now, that stupid low C# can go fuck itself (swearing – watch out, bad mood). I mean come on! I can play concert and jazz music after running through it once, however I’m messing up these fucking stupid arpeggios and thirds! The songs are bits and pieces of those arpeggios and scales, so if I can play the songs – why the hell can’t I play the damn basics?!? It’s pissing me off. No it has pissed me off! But you know what pisses me off more? The fact that getting this bad over this situation isn’t normal, so something else is getting me mad... But what the hell is it?!? Fuck! I wish life made sense, but if it did it wouldn’t be fun and I wouldn’t like that either, so I’ll shut up. What’s bugging me is probably the same thing that I was talking to Jesse about last night... Some random thing that’s causing fear in me. And more fear than it should as not knowing what it is scared me more. I’ll never let fear take over, and I’ll never let confusion reign. But I wish it would go away, Goddess help me make it go away. Make it leave. Please.
*hugs*
Life is easier to take then you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable. - Kathleen Norris
105157 |
CityKat - 9:57 p
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(4) Lost In The Void
Thursday, May 6, 2004
*hugs*
Most people need hugs right now... There don't seem to be enough to go around. So *hugs*.
I had something to post, I forget it. But umm yea - thanks for the intellegent conversations guys! DepressedOne - you kick ass just because you have everyone in a huf.
Oh ya!
If you know me, you know I'm a friend to all those who aren't Kutsche or Jessica - and I wouldn't wish evil upon even them. Back to the point. If ever I come up to your face and say something (or post it as the case may be), like I did to Amanda the other day, please don't turn to me and say "I thought you were my friend!" I am your friend. That's why I"m saying it to your face. I could always continue to talk behind your back and not let you hear the opinions, but they're still voiced. I could let you bitch to someone like DepressedOne, bitching at a code name doesn't help - it doesn't provide fufillment or conclusion. So I let you bitch at me, you know it's me. You know who you're yelling at, you know who your hurting, you know that I"m real, that I"m not just some name. And guess what? I can take the bitching! I'm not about to cry in a corner and bawl my eyes out just because you called me a few choice names. So please, when I tell you something upfront and bluntly - I'm speaking as your friend. No I'll never be sorry for sayign things. Yes, I'll always be sorry for hurting a friend. But be aware is a 'fuck you!' comes your way, or something like I gave to Amanda, maybe I'm just trying to hit you over the head. Ya I lost the train of thought...
*hugs*
Kaits Back! - Klepto (sorry had to mention that Kait's back...)
104663 |
CityKat - 10:22 p
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(4) Lost In The Void
Monday, May 3, 2004
Sea Side Memories
Wakes break against the shore. The moon is reflected in the otherwise calm waters. The lights of high-rises are reflected upon the water’s edge, dancing with the night’s breeze. I hear music and laughter behind me, but I look out. I look out beyond the normal, the real, the present.
I find myself onboard a familiar ship, a pontoon boat. At the helm I remember my Uncle, on the port side my grandfather throws in a fishing line. My little cousins run around merrily, it is one of the last fishing trips that will ever be this peaceful. For a short trip we evade the fights, the jokes, the tears. We evade everything to be together, to be a family. We sail down Buck Bay, waving to my grandmother in her canteen, waving as we pass neighbors and fellow fishermen. I stop to paint this picture in my mind, and all I hear is the soft music on the radio above children’s laughter and the water’s breeze.
The song changes, feet are stepped on as they resume dancing. I still stand in a corner lost in thought. Only slightly aware of my surroundings. I hear the music and the laughter, but they are quieted by my childhood memories. Tears begin to fill my eyes as I remember that one last fishing trips. We were promised another one, “Next time you come, I’ll take you fishing again. Just Grandpa and his little ladies.” He said to us, I was the third oldest, the oldest child, the others – my cousins had grown up years since and were there to simply watch their own children. I was one of his last grandchildren; I will forever remain his ‘little lady’. He always spoke after we left of my bright smile, and those wide eyes that explored the world as if it were a treasure hunt, and happiness was the treasure.
We were hunting for treasure. Grandpère, Trevor, Jenny, Andy, Josh, Lucas, and myself. We were hunting for the jewel of the West Arm. We were hunting for the perfect fishing hole. Now Jenny and I refused to wait around for those little buggers to bite, but we were the first to grab hold of the slimy bass and unhook it, for it would soon be that night’s supper. While the boys waited on the fish, us girls tossed off our t-shirts and jumped in the lake. Slimy seaweed caressing our feet, it threatened to tangle around our ankles and pull us in. The waves lapped against our little bodies, stronger than the boys in water, we stayed in for hours on end. Forever treading and fighting, avoiding the hooks that soared overhead. We’d finally get out and toss bread to the seagulls that waited patiently for the day’s discards. We were camp girls. We were Grandpa’s girls. After a long day of the boys having caught nothing we never failed to throw in a line and bring at least one fish home to the table. We would never eat our own catch. Instead we left it for Grandpa – it was his favorite treat. Then he’d take us out to the garden and as the sun died we’d pick cucumbers and peas, tomatoes and corn, onions and potatoes from the earth’s breast. The next day we’d have a salad for lunch before we left for home. But ever our hearts would be on that fishing boat with Grandpère.
I pulled out the glow stick I had stolen earlier that night. It glowed blue, a youthful blue. A blue that reminded me of the smiles, the never ending persistence to catch at least one fish, to outwit the boys in water polo, to never give up. As I stood there leaning over the edge of a cruise ship, the music blasting behind me the present came back into focus. I twirled the glow stick in my hand watching the bubble move slowly up then down, over and around. I never stopped until it had gained the highest point. The soft glow reminded me of the twinkle in Grandpère’s eyes, he was ever hopeful. The soft glow of hope reminded me that never would I give up.
He came then and wrapped his arms around me. My symbol of hope. The glow stick was simply a reminder; the real thing was now there. I was wrapped in his arms as he scanned the horizon searching for the reason of my gaze. But he was looking the wrong way. I had begun the night looking back on times passed, those people now grown up or dead. And in that moment as he searched the waters, the sky. I found in his eyes the reason for my gaze. He was my hope. I would never forget.
Having found a reason, a new meaning, a new purpose I left. No longer needing the company of the water, the lights grew tired of dancing, others were enjoying the moon’s glow. I set off to my present. I set off to live my life. I set of with hope restored. That glow stick I passed on. Whether or not the one to whom I passed it found the same comfort in it that I did I will never know. But when all hope seems to have faded I will always remember those nights. I will remember fishing trips, and swimming holes. Grandfathers, glow sticks, and Hope. My hope had never left; I had simply questioned it as tears filled my eyes with the thoughts of people passed on. He had stepped up, and proven to me that my hope was still there, that the memories would forever be with me, and that my mascara would run if I dared cry. Not to mention, “My ‘little lady’ should forever wear a smile, not a frown!”
*hugs*
It's that stuff... that you put on waffles... You know! The stuff you pour... - The person... you know, the one that steals stuff... She answers to the name of Klepto...
104026 |
CityKat - 8:17 p
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(4) Lost In The Void
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