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The Mountain's Secret
My Profile
Name: Marie
aka: CityKat
aka: Bubbles
Age: 18 - eek! I'm old...
Birthday: December 13
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Location: The box that is campus.
Loves: RH;MIT, music, friends, the outdoors, all of my hometowns, critters, WAGGGS
Fellow Tin Soldiers
Blog Links
Chicken Soup For The Souless -What goes on in Jesse's brain, nobody knows...
In ThE Tub WiTh SquIsHy -Christina's log, so just keep swimming!.
Lean On Me -Regan's digital and cryonable shoulder.
Manitoulin Wannabe -The heart of the island's where her heart lies.
One Ring... -Ali's blog. Her straight forward is kinda crooked.
Random Thoughts -It’s Jeff! And the voices!.
Searching in the Darkness -Lex's blog, we'll force him to see dawn one of these days.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow -It’s Kuriosity!
Super Spidey -A cookie and a kiss.
The World of Cr0magnus -Tech Reincarnated
Undead and Confused -My favourite Cool Kid!
Moutains and Valleys
Fun Links
Chris's Site -Games, Pics, Jokes... He's got it. And BESS can't get him.
F-Concept! Oi!Oi!Oi! -Leader's only!... okay, and Josh and Bubble!
havesomehats -All I'm saying is; elephants, checkered people, and top hats.
Sinfest -Funny as Hell. Thanks to Lex for getting me hooked.
Too Far North (Awesome)!! -The best band there ever was! (Okay, that might be stetching it, but hey we love you guys!) It consists of a lack of independant brain power and a collective love for music!
Blog Shares -Who's winning today?
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Pour l’esprit de vos enfants,
Pour la vie et nos enfants,
Déesse je vous en prie.
Pour vos enfants capturés sans lumière,
Pour vos enfants qui perdent l’amour.
Déesse je vous en prie.
Vous qui nous avez gardés
Sauf, loin de la tristesse et
La méchante.
La méchante, lui qui nous mange,
Lui qui noircir la vie,
Né du naïf narcotique,
Narcotique de l’esprit.
Narcotique qui est la haine.
Déesse je vous en prie,
Vous, qui n’existe que dans nos cœurs,
Vous, qui est l’amour et les vents.
On tombe, Déesse,
Comme l’étoile des ciels.
Aides-nous Déesse, pour qu’on
Trouve les ailes sur lesquelles on vole.
Pour qu’on trouve nos cœurs,
Et laisse passer la nuit,
La tristesse,
Les larmes dans nos yeux.
Vous qui nous avez gardés,
Nous gardes encore.
Aide-nous Déesse,
Les sourires nous attendent.
Les étoiles, les esprits contents.
Aide-nous Déesse, aide-nous
A trouver nos sentiers.
A trouver nos esprits,
Nos esprits contents.
Déesse je vous en prie.
Je vous remercie Déesse.
With our brothers we will share all the secrets of our mountain, all the riches buried there.
Email Me
Battle Fields
All the Riches Buried There
last modified Nov 19, 2005, 6:50 p
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Jumping Worlds, Changing Realities.
They ask me if I'm as depressed as everyone else, I answer no. They ask me if I fall asleep wishing I was back there, I say no. He asks me if I'm still in his world, I've moved on. They ask me if I dweal on it, it's in the past. I've moved on.
I've moved on. The flaw to my way of living, I move on. I'm not depressed because I left OELC, I jumped back into the real world the minute I got here. I don't wish I was back in Ali's basement, I've excepted reality, and run away from Shamus. I didn't stay on cloud nine, I had work to do. The fight, what fight? You know we're friends forever.
Jumping worlds, I seem to do this alot. A world of critism, a world of friendship, a world of problems, a world of relationships, a world of fear, the world. Which one am I in now? Which one will I be in tomorrow? Will I ever choose just one? Will it ever be that easy?
Changing realities? Forever world there is a reality, or two, at times even three. The real world, the OELC reality, the work reality, the reality of friendship, the reality of hard work... Forever a new reality, forever a new outlook.
Jack of all trades, master of none. I'm not even that. All trades? I know but a few, but I never stop to explore it, never mastering just one. I guess I could be the bard leader, but what is a life where you are constantly jumping realitites, juggling worlds. What is a life where you are forever changing, never exploring, always learning, never rethinking. What is that world? My world.
*hugs*
Creation build me a bridge, Sun show hope, Love show your light, Hate make the light shine brighter, Elements move the world, Goddess protect.
P.S. This is probably the last time I'll post in a while, as today is my last day off for three weeks.
111857 |
CityKat - 9:05 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Rewind! F-Concept. Oi! Oi! Oi!
Man, I need a massage, my calendar, an ice cream cone, and a break. Oh well, I'll live without. I have a smart post... But no time to type it... So you'll get it some time... It's on world jumping!
*hugs*
If you're not living life on the edge - you're taking up too much room.
111753 |
CityKat - 10:18 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Sunday, June 27, 2004
P T K HA Sh Ha Ha
OMG!!! TheOELC was awesome!!! I miss you guys!!!
I have sooo much stuff (wisdom, knowledge, names, faces, experiences, sights,memories) reeling around in my head - it's insane. We need to get Jimi and Teri and Talia on messenger... I'm not even going to try to tell those who don't know what I've done in the past week because it would never end.
Know this - sharks shut up. Teddy bears - speak up. Norm, then storm, then norm if you must. SOLVE. SOLER. SOLERSAC. Become a group of Task, Maintenance, and Self-Obsessed. Learn. Teach. Grow.
Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. For then, and only then, will you be a mile away and have his shoes.
111498 |
CityKat - 8:42 p
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(7) Lost In The Void
Friday, June 18, 2004
Lobsters!
Yes... We pretty much all have lobsterish spots on us after spending time at the beach today. It was fun though, I probably have the least bad burn and I'm the only one who wasn't wearing sunscreen. Hooray for that.
I get to set up my dock tomorrow, then I leave for Orillia on Sunday. A week at camp, and then I'm back to my dock on Sunday. It's soundign like it'll be fun. I haven't packed yet...
I have that cd Lex, sorry I forgot about it...  ... I'll give it to Alex tomorrow.
*hugs*
Be a sunflower. - Me
110684 |
CityKat - 6:30 p
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(5) Lost In The Void
Thursday, June 17, 2004
The not-quite-Mental Note
Imparfait = rad. prés 1pp + terminaison
Participe Présent = rad. imparfait 1pp + 'ant'
Plus Que Parfait = aux. imparfait, participe passé
Conditionel Présent = rad. f.s. (termine en 'r' + terminaison de l'imparfait
Conditionel Passé = aux. cond. prés., participe passé
Phrases Conditionel...
prés, prés OU f.s OU imperatif
imparatif, cond. prés.
p.q.p., cond. passé
Futur Antérieur = aux. f.s., participe passé
Subjonctif = rad. prés. 3pp + terminaison
*hugs*
I saw the pattern, I understood the lesson, I just skipped the class! - Me
110601 |
CityKat - 8:04 p
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(1) Lost In The Void
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
We miss you Rolo.
Fun fun, I have a day off of school because I don't have any exams and I get to spend it studying. Well I'm only allowed to study after I finish the chores my mom left me. Why? "Because you can always study tomorrow." Let's see, water garden, wash floor, vaccuum, dust upstairs, clean bathrooms (all three of them), laundry... I forget what else... Should take me a few hours especially as the water pump is acting up so I can't push it too hard... Oh well. TTYL
*hugs*
Free beer with purchase of can.
110429 |
CityKat - 9:48 a
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(1) Lost In The Void
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Craptastic!
Blah... I have to buy ice cream on Saturday, and I'm not sure how much money I have... Shit. I should think about these things ahead of time. Oh well... I'll find money.... Somewhere.
*hugs*
110307 |
CityKat - 9:34 a
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(3) Lost In The Void
Monday, June 14, 2004
Aligator
Alligator. Alligator.
Can be your friend, can be your friend,
Can be your friend too!
The alligator is my friend; he can be your friend too.
If only you could understand that he needs friendship too.
Alligator. Alligator.
Can be your friend, can be your friend,
Can be your friend too!
The alligator ate my friend; he will eat your friend too.
If only you could understand that he needs protein too.
Alligator. Alligator.
Can be your friend, can be your friend,
Can be your friend too!
*hugs*
coeur rouge perdu dans idées noires...
P.S. Apparently my cousin got married...
110225 |
CityKat - 8:22 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Sunday, June 13, 2004
White Roses, Salt Tears
She handed me thirteen roses, I was to place them on the graves where lie my cousins, my ancestors, my aunts, my uncles. Starting at one side I took each solitary red rose and placed it beneath a name. Zephirin Robidoux, Isabelle Campbell, John C Campbell, Marieanne Gratton... I passed them one by one, placing a solitary rose on each grave. Until at last there were no more graves, and I held still one rose. This one was different. The others had been red. The red of the blood that beats through our bodies, keeping us alive day after day, the red of our hearts, that love others unconditionally. This one was not red, but white. White. White like the snow that fell as we celebrated birthdays, and Christmases, and Thanksgivings. White like that which surronded your blue eyes, as you watched us play, as you made sure we were safe. White as was your skin when I saw you laying there, lifeless. White. It was nothing, but it was so much. This one last rose I laid on Grandpère’s grave for it was his day. A year later I laid on one Grandpa’s grave, for his day had come. And today, today I should lay one on Nana’s grave, for her time has come.
Salt tears ran down my check. They still do when I lay yet another white rose on the earth. But it’s not the person, but the flower that brings those tears. As I lay every rose, the memories of those other roses come back, all of the memories of my fifteen years.
For the people I do not always cry. I did not cry for Great Granny, I did not cry for Grandpa, I did not cry for Vicky, nor for Matante Isabelle. And yet, for Matante June I cried. I cried for Grandpère. And but one day ago, I cried for Nana.
You asked me why you didn’t cry, you said it was a disgrace. You felt so bad, your heart was torn in two, and yet you didn’t cry. You asked me why, you needed answers. I said, because you care. You care, you don’t want to accept that she’s gone, because you love her. You don’t cry because you know she hurts no longer, she doesn’t suffer anymore. You don’t cry because you know she was at peace in her last days, that she was content with her life, that she loved you, as you love her. You don’t cry because crying an ocean still wouldn’t encompass your grief, your pain, your sorrow. I know. I cried an ocean every time I cried, and yet when I had no tears left to cry I wanted to cry some more.
For me it was different, I cried because I cared. I cried because I knew that they would never smile again, would never plant another seed. They would never laugh at another joke, never fight for the last cookie, never tell a bedtime story, never sing around a fire. I cried because I knew that never again would they see the love they created. You do not cry because you know that that love lives on.
On Tuesday June 8th Lena Tingle passed away. Though she feels not the pain of her cancer now, we will miss her dearly and forever love her.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
*hugs*
110089 |
CityKat - 9:51 p
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(1) Lost In The Void
Exam Week
Okay, so exams are officially on their way, and I should start studying. Which is why I'm the only one home today, while everyone else has gone out to have fun. Of course I think they missed the point because they left me with a list of things to do! Come on! I should be studying! Most parents would pray to hear those words, not mine. You can study tomorrow they say... Lets see I have to clean the fridge, plant flowers, arrange flower pots, finish the new garden, do the laundry, study for three classes, do reviews for two classes, and pack. Int he next 3 hours. Because of course, "We're getting hoem at 3 and you'd better be able to help with the rest of the work." Yeah, we'll see if I'm done the first list by then!
I guess I should get to work.
*hugs*
Love as thou wilt. - Elua (Kushiel's Legavy Triolgy)
109996 |
CityKat - 10:31 a
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(4) Lost In The Void
Friday, June 11, 2004
Stupid Exams...
Music exam next period. I was practicing during lunch and I completely forgot to go see Danny... Dammit! Oopsie. ()#*&#(*&
All better.
History is boring. My book is great. Politics and prostitutes. Well they're mort well situated in society, they are "courtesans". One - they get payed. Two - they sign contracts that says when I say this one word ____ (insert word) you must stop. Three - they get freebies from their patrons. Four - they stay in castles not street corners.
Boo! Boop dee doop! SooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo bored. Oh well, will go now. Going to the movies tonight  .
109801 |
CityKat - 12:00 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Thursday, June 10, 2004
*Jumps up and down*
Yay!!!! I got them to work!!!!
109677 |
CityKat - 9:02 p
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(1) Lost In The Void
Look! It's a flying Kevin!
No, not you Kevin, a Kevin from down south... The joke is ruined if you're not in ATM.
Yay!!!!!!!!!!! Danny's gonna show me how to get my music on cd's!!! I know it sounds stupid - but I'm stupid when it comes to that sorta stuff! *jumps up and down and in circles*
I'm done that damned project!!!! Woot! Now on to music exam, and french exam, and history exam, and math exam. Urg. Oh, and add another camp to my schedule in the 1st week of August... Hee hee... Science North camps... something tells me I'm far too old...
Speaking of which... I wanna work at Science North!!!! *waahhhh!!!* And I want sax lessons. And I wanna go shopping with Matane. And I want a sax. And I want September to come ASAP. And I want... I want... I dunno. Oh! I want the html to work!
And Ky it's a nightmare. Nothing you need worry about as it happened ummm (15-7...) 8 years ago!
*hugs*
"The time has come", the Walrus said,
"To speak of many things.
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax,
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs can fly"
109646 |
CityKat - 6:16 p
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(8) Lost In The Void
Wednesday, June 9, 2004
Urg... damn HTML
My quotes refuse to work ( )! Evil...
109458 |
CityKat - 1:18 p
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(5) Lost In The Void
Monday, June 7, 2004
Nightmares (you might not want to read this...)
Pain. Never ending pain. Her chest lies torn open, she looks upon her own blood, her own heart as it beats before her eyes. She should die, but she lives on in agony. For hours she lives on, feeling ever beat of her heart with searing pain, every movement with agonizing defeat. She lives on.
She lives on in opposition to her normally cheery self. She still wears her smile, she still feels joy, they're is no hatred. Which confused her as she strangles the life out of the first child she sees. Her hands stay wrapped around the infants neck as she searches for the casue of the violence. She cannot find it, she is happy, she is not mad nor angry. All is normal. It is as if someone else comands her hands, but she can hear herself give the death sentences, but she knows not why. She throws the infant aside, looks around. She remembers there being sun, and laughter. She sees only darkness, the damp air weighs down on her.
She skips away, as happy as ever, yet a battle rages inside her to find the source of the commands. The source of the death. An old lady she once knew is walking down the alley. Taking her puppy for one last stroll. The puppy - barely able to walk it's so young, looks up at the girl, eyes shining with love and compassion. Blood sprays as her foot lands in the puppy's gut, it's newly formed coat stained red as it's skin is ripped in peices by the force. She continues to smile. She skips away as merry as ever, battle still raging. The night continues like this. Each time she skips the pain of her wound returns. With each death caused by her young hands it worsens.
Too yound to know pain. Too old to have never met it. She kills that night. How many? No one knows, enough. Enough to deserve her pain, and more. She kills for no reason. Her life never ending, her blood ever pouring from the wound. The pain, the sorrow, the death - not enough to end her life. When she has killed them all she begs. She begs that she is repaid with her own death. She begs that death share it's glory with her. Begs that it end her life.
She begs that all those her asked mercy of her are repaid with her death. That those who had their hearts ripped out beating were given the peace of mind that no one else would suffer. That those who she raped, or beat, or skinned, or savaged would be able to laugh at her death. She hears and answer, that death will be given. A flame errupts in a near building offering a chance to die. She walks towards it.
As her hair catches fire, her skin melts from her body. The pain is sweet, it is a release, but it hurts. The physical pain is forgotten as she is thrown in a world of thoughts, remembering each and every one of the nights murders. Yes, she was a murdress. She had killed those people. She laughs. A loud a cynical laugh. It rings in the ears of those who were left to die. It hurts even those who are dead. She laughs.
She wakes. Looks around, she's home. Her teddy bears are lined up beside her, her storybooks on their shelf. She was a murdress. She was a child. A child of seven who grew up too fast.
*hugs*
109234 |
CityKat - 10:03 p
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(5) Lost In The Void
Sunday, June 6, 2004
A Favour.
Those of you who are reading this, I ask this of you. Whether I know you or not, whether you are male or female, gay or straight, big or little, old or young.
I ask that when you are given someone's heart you treat it with care. I ask that you realize that at times, expecially if they are young or new, they are blinded by love or friendship. I ask you to realize that those who have two left feet will look to you to lead them, and that not always do you dance the same dance nor to the same speed. I ask you to take care when you lead them some place forgein, I ask you to look upon the wonders and to look upon them. Will they understand the beauty? Or will they love it because you do?
And on the other side of this double edged blade I ask that you take care of your self. I ask that you walk to the beat of YOUR drum. I ask that you move at your pace and that you be certain in all that you endeavour. I ask that you be not blinded by love or friendship but that you walk those paths of your own free will, aware of every step that you take. I ask that you look through your eyes, not through someone elses. I ask that it is your heart that wills your actions, not another's.
I ask this of all of you. Mayhap you think my a misguided teenager burdened with the melodrama of her kind. Mayhap you are right. I ask this of all of you. Of those of you who read this, be sure that Peg and 'you who is the end of a scottish flame' this is for you. Whoever it does not all apply to your current situations, nor will I burden you further.
*hugs*
You're a bitch, but I love you anyway. You make me sick, but don't ever go away...
109067 |
CityKat - 8:07 p
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(2) Lost In The Void
Saturday, June 5, 2004
Tired and the work's barely begun!
My summer's packed and I'm tired and school's not out yet. Most people cheer because school's out - people like me groan. School being out only leaves more time to be taken up by more work.
Here's how my schedule goes...
tonight - babysit
tomorrow - homework and gardens
10th - exam
11th - exam
12 - work (either gardens or dock)
13th - work (either gardens or dock)
17 - 2 exams
18 - exam
19 - dock
20-26 - OELC camp
27 - dock
1-4 - dock
5-9 - babysit
10 - dock
11 - dock
12 - 16 - babysit
17 - dock
18 - dock
19-23 - babysit
24 - dock
25 - dock
31 - dock
1 - dock
7 - dock
8 - dock
14 - dock
15 - dock
21 - dock
22 - dock
28 - dock
29- dock
then school on some random day...
add to that another few days on my dock because of long weekends or parties... then a week on the island with Ali... then random babysitting... then working for mononcle as I owe him a paint job for his new wagon... and you have a nice summer with no time to spare... and I bet I'm not going to be allowed to stay at camp either... dammit.
*hugs*
108950 |
CityKat - 12:17 p
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(3) Lost In The Void
Friday, June 4, 2004
"Fuck That"?!?
I sit here and listen as you say I shouldn't be complaining with my marks, with the smile on my face. I sit here and bite my tongue as you complain about your ever failing marks and your depression or you're bad attitude.
And yet when you don't have the spirit you give up, when your don't feel like it you sit out. How will that eber get you anywhere in life? Will it ever help you reach your potential? Will it ever let you reach the heights you hope to reach? The heights you have only ever dreamed of reaching? Will saying "fuck this I don't want to" or "fuck you you can't make me" get you anywhere?
You wonder why I do so well, you wonder why I wear my smile. My answer to your questions are that my answers to those situations difer. My answers are "oh well, might as well get it done with" or "suck it up, you can whine later" or "I've got no choice, I have to". Sure in life there is always a choice, but normally the answer to that choice is the answer that will bring you farthest or help you or someone else the most.
"Fuck That" isn't an answer worthy of anyone's time. It's an answer only worthy of an immature and arrogent child. That which no one reading this is. Now there's another problem I've found... No one is given the benefit of the doubt. Everyone is diminished to the worst they could be, and given no credit. Just maybe they deserve a chance, maybe they deserve you're faith until they prove it wrong. Until they prove themselves unworthy of that faith, that credit, that repect of which they're owed. Why? Because they are our equals until they prove themselves otherwise.
You may say I've senority, but that counts for nothing. You may way they're younger and more immature. But then you'd prove yourself the more immature. I've always been the youngest - and yet I've always been more mature when needs be than most others. And yes, at one point I gave them the credit and belittled myself to last place. Then they proved me wrong. But don't belittle people you've given no chance to. They deserve the benefit of the doubt until you're proven wrong. They deserve their chance as you were once given yours.
*hugs*
Give unto others as you would have them give unto you.
108898 |
CityKat - 8:32 p
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(1) Lost In The Void
Black Fly Road
Mental picture. You're working away at laying bricks and trimming edges in the vegetable garden. The sun's setting so you look up to see how much time you have left. The sun's blocked by a cloud of little brown and black flying creatures known as black flies and mosquitoes that are searching for a patch of skin to bite a chunk out of, or to drain you of your blood. Fun eh? Because that's what I was faced with not an hour ago...
108897 |
CityKat - 7:54 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Tuesday, June 1, 2004
*Updates*
I have nothing to say other than - I'm done! And I got a square 50 on my french thing... Ouch! Pain... It hurts... mommy! I'm so glad I have math and music to bring up my marks!
*hugs*
When God created man, she was only joking.
108546 |
CityKat - 8:53 p
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(5) Lost In The Void
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