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The Mountain's Secret
My Profile
Name: Marie
aka: CityKat
aka: Bubbles
Age: 18 - eek! I'm old...
Birthday: December 13
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Location: The box that is campus.
Loves: RH;MIT, music, friends, the outdoors, all of my hometowns, critters, WAGGGS
Fellow Tin Soldiers
Blog Links
Chicken Soup For The Souless -What goes on in Jesse's brain, nobody knows...
In ThE Tub WiTh SquIsHy -Christina's log, so just keep swimming!.
Lean On Me -Regan's digital and cryonable shoulder.
Manitoulin Wannabe -The heart of the island's where her heart lies.
One Ring... -Ali's blog. Her straight forward is kinda crooked.
Random Thoughts -It’s Jeff! And the voices!.
Searching in the Darkness -Lex's blog, we'll force him to see dawn one of these days.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow -It’s Kuriosity!
Super Spidey -A cookie and a kiss.
The World of Cr0magnus -Tech Reincarnated
Undead and Confused -My favourite Cool Kid!
Moutains and Valleys
Fun Links
Chris's Site -Games, Pics, Jokes... He's got it. And BESS can't get him.
F-Concept! Oi!Oi!Oi! -Leader's only!... okay, and Josh and Bubble!
havesomehats -All I'm saying is; elephants, checkered people, and top hats.
Sinfest -Funny as Hell. Thanks to Lex for getting me hooked.
Too Far North (Awesome)!! -The best band there ever was! (Okay, that might be stetching it, but hey we love you guys!) It consists of a lack of independant brain power and a collective love for music!
Blog Shares -Who's winning today?
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Pour l’esprit de vos enfants,
Pour la vie et nos enfants,
Déesse je vous en prie.
Pour vos enfants capturés sans lumière,
Pour vos enfants qui perdent l’amour.
Déesse je vous en prie.
Vous qui nous avez gardés
Sauf, loin de la tristesse et
La méchante.
La méchante, lui qui nous mange,
Lui qui noircir la vie,
Né du naïf narcotique,
Narcotique de l’esprit.
Narcotique qui est la haine.
Déesse je vous en prie,
Vous, qui n’existe que dans nos cœurs,
Vous, qui est l’amour et les vents.
On tombe, Déesse,
Comme l’étoile des ciels.
Aides-nous Déesse, pour qu’on
Trouve les ailes sur lesquelles on vole.
Pour qu’on trouve nos cœurs,
Et laisse passer la nuit,
La tristesse,
Les larmes dans nos yeux.
Vous qui nous avez gardés,
Nous gardes encore.
Aide-nous Déesse,
Les sourires nous attendent.
Les étoiles, les esprits contents.
Aide-nous Déesse, aide-nous
A trouver nos sentiers.
A trouver nos esprits,
Nos esprits contents.
Déesse je vous en prie.
Je vous remercie Déesse.
With our brothers we will share all the secrets of our mountain, all the riches buried there.
Email Me
Battle Fields
All the Riches Buried There
last modified Nov 19, 2005, 6:50 p
Monday, March 26, 2007
Doodles...
Ah grandpère, where is it that you fit? Could you show me - 'cause I can't find anything that works. Nothing that's you and that is prominent enough, while at the same time working with the doodle.
Je t'aime pour toujours.
Take care of yourself - I love you, and sleep!
- Marie
158793 |
CityKat - 7:04 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Thursday, March 22, 2007
gah!!! I'm gonna fail econ. this stuff is making no sense! It's all graphing and interpretting graphs and analyzing them - guess what I always hated about math and physics - the graphs!!!
*slumps down exhausted and passes out*
158734 |
CityKat - 7:10 p
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(4) Lost In The Void
Monday, March 19, 2007
I never knew there were such great movies
On TV at 3 a.m.
I'd never guessed at a midnight Tuesday
I could have pizza ordered in
I've never been a real night-owl
But these days I'm all turned 'round
There's only one thing I'm sure of right now
I should be sleeping,'stead of keeping
These late hours I've been keeping
I've been pacing and retracing
Every step of every move
An even though I'm feeling so right
I'm so happy,still I know
I should be sleeping,'stead of dreamin' about you
I never knew I was funny
'Til I went and made you laugh
I never liked a girl that called me: "Honey"
But you did,I like that
I keep thinking about your smile
Tryin' to read between the lines
Looks like I'll be here for a while
I should be sleeping,'stead of keeping
These late hours I've been keeping
I've been pacing and retracing
Every step of every move
An even though I'm feeling so right
I'm so happy,still I know
I should be sleeping,'stead of dreamin' about you
After just three day (just three days)
One great kiss (One great kiss)
It's way too soon
To be obsessin'like this
I should be sleeping,'stead of keeping
These late hours I've been keeping
I've been pacing and retracing
Every step of every move
An even though I'm feeling so right
I'm so happy,still I know
I should be sleeping,'stead of dreamin' about you
Dreamin' about you
I should be sleeping,dreamin' about you
I'm dreamin' about you, yeah
158681 |
CityKat - 6:21 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Saturday, March 17, 2007
I just wish I could stop hurting...
and that I could stop hurting him.
158661 |
CityKat - 11:14 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Love you all
Okay... I think the moods have stopped... no guarantees - but man oh man that was crazy and I'm sorry if I ran you over.
*hugs*
158633 |
CityKat - 8:46 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
I'm sorry...
I should know better - I'm not allowed having a bad day...
I never meant to hurt anyone...
I should go, leave you alone.
Bye.
158624 |
CityKat - 8:55 a
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(0) Lost In The Void
Monday, March 12, 2007
Lost in Thought... no matter how wonderful life is the voices are louder...
I don't know what to think. I don't know what to feel. Sitting here - I realize that I'm living it. Living the life people dream of... and all I have to say for myself is silence. Silence broken by the pent-up clicking of a pen.
. . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . ..
......
....
...
..
.
Penned-up... just like me.
I laugh at Lyndsey some days... She always likes to comment on how "our" (meaning her and I) lives are perfect. She clearly hasn't known me long, and she doesn't know much about me. Though the same can be said I of her. Perfect life? Absent parents, abusive father, near-childhood-rape, over powering men, barmaid training... You know what? She's right. My life is perfect (as perfect as I deserve).
Each time this conversation happens, it ends the same way.
"All lives are perfect" I say, "No matter how apparently good or bad - they're all perfect."
And this is when she starts to stare blankly. As full of life as she is, as much as she looks to God - she never understands how I can say such a thing. To her, lives can be good or bad, as can actions, as can people. I love her dearly, but her confusion always makes me laugh. She knows enough about me to know that I've seen the "bad" lives and is always shocked that I would refer to them as perfect.
Oh well... I know it's true. As the commercial says - the secret ingredient is And.
The only problem with my theory is that it doesn't dispel my current situation. My current depression, as some would call it.
You see, I know what it is I live for - I just have lost my ability to get there. This whole moving out thing is amazing. I have both freedom and control - but to get this it seems I've given up friendship and laughter.
I've lost everyone... First to go were my girls, as much as we still try to hold on. Next were those acquaintances that made me laugh everyday - but never quite made it into my inner circle. After them went those who were close - but slipped out while I wasn't looking... Sexy, Yellow, Shar, Dev, Regs... I tried to hold on - I still do... but holding onto shadows is hard. Others I'm still desperately clinging to - but they too are turning and leaving. James and I have come to terms and I expect him to leave now, Jesse and his cold shoulder, Sway and her one-track mind, Danny and his busy life... I'm either losing or have lost them all...
And so my feet are slipping out from under me.
I no longer have a bed at home, no longer have self-confidence. I'm losing motivation, I've lost hope.
...and still in the end my life is perfect - just like every other.
Sooner or later I'll find something to help me stand, and the sun will rise again...
*hugs*
158612 |
CityKat - 10:05 a
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(2) Lost In The Void
Spring Time!
Oh my gosh... I woke up yesterday and all I could hear was the wind and the birds - it was amazing! Talk about picture perfect... now I just have to work on the waking up next to someone with the birds singing part... I've been single for two years give or take about a week - gross!
*hugs*
158611 |
CityKat - 9:44 a
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(0) Lost In The Void
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Past becomes Present
Gah! I thought I left this behind, this emptiness not just in the pit of my stomach but from head to toe and from logic to love.
It's as if I have a reason to continue living - many in fact. They're as little as falling snowflakes or summer breezes, or as giant as my mother's heart and my brother's future.
The problem is that I seem to be lacking in a reason to get up, to get out, to experience - to live. There is nothing here for me, and so why do I bother? In hopes of finding something? The search is only pain.
158588 |
CityKat - 8:14 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
Monday, March 5, 2007
stupidness
158528 |
CityKat - 9:17 p
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(0) Lost In The Void
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