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Name: Marie Fellow Tin Soldiers
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I have entered the state of confusion.. don't worry I know my way around. No wait... I've never met this confusion before. It's different from the rest... thank you so very much i thank you for your critism of my poetry, and you were completely correct by saying that "they're amazing" is not what i want to hear...or, um...read in this case. i get enough of that from my friends. did you have any words in mind that could be edited? ask marie for my e-mail address and i'd be very grateful if you'd fill me in.
Alright I'll comment. I love to write, so whatever you read here comes from my writers point of view... (approx. 45 seconds later)...those are awesome poems. I love them. The style that you wrote in is very, very good. The only suggestion I can make to you, as I know that being told that it is amazing is not exactly what you want to hear, is that some words could have been excanges or ommited to increase the effect. But other than that....the phrasing was good, you used just enough repetitiveness to add the amount of emphasis necessary, and you captured feeling with crystal clarity. I also loved the contrasting poems, "No one Listens," and, "Limited." PLEASE COMMENT!! (no worries marie, 'tis just ali) if you're not marie and you're reading this, you've gone a post too high. being an artist (with words in my case), i appreciate comments on my work (poems in my case). i know you don't know me, but marie does. i hope i do get to meet all of you next time i come visit. in anycase, i'm getting off topic. three of my poems are posted in the previous post, and if you would read them and comment on them (just a "i like them, they're good" is not good enough) i would be greatly appreciative. it's hard to get good solid constructive critism from us southerners (i'm from milton), so please tell me what you think. and keeping marie around is a good idea...she likes her neck. thank you kindly, |