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Freedom.
First and foremost, the guy has some security issues. In many ways, he thinks that he is not good enough to fulfill a given situation, and because of this people will think negatively of him. This, like many of his other personality traits, can be traced back to his past. He feels that he failed to protect something, and lost it as a result. In this case, that something is his own feelings. He is very sensitive, and gets hurt easily emotion-wise.
His asocial behavior is a side-effect of his insecurity. However, I don't suspect that it was because he was uncomfortable around them at first. He didn't want to rely on anybody, he wanted to do everything himself, because he felt he had to prove himself to them. He was also scared to get hurt again. Hanging around other people would cause him to become lax and he'd get burned again. It wasn't until after a few years of self-isolation that he began to feel uncomfortable around people, because by then he didn't really know how to socialize. He had blocked himself off from learning many of the things kids his age would be learning, and as a result he became a rather poor conversationalist. Socializing was probably very confusing for him around that time, and the only way to solve the problem would be for someone to give him a hand. This, of course, was totally unacceptable, since he would then be relying upon someone else.
Fast-forward to the present, and we have a guy who is self-reliant, proficient, and is able to put his feelings aside when needed. Nothing could shake this guy. Nothing. Eh, well, except for that pretty young lady in the cream dress. Yeah, she shakes him up pretty good. That whole dancing thing wasn't cool, cause now he thinks he kinda likes her. Going? Wait, don't go. You're going. Damn. I need some air.
But when he goes for a walk with an acquaintance (he wouldn't dare call anyone friend), he remembers why it is that he doesn't rely on others. He might end up on the verge of breaking down, becoming weak. That couldn't happen, so he hardened his resolve - and with it his demeanor. Go talk to a wall. You ever notice that he does a lot of talking to the wall?
Anyhow, this attitude of "I can't count on anyone but myself" is not helpful when going into a military situation, especially if you're a mercenary. If there's no trust, the team won't make it back. See, a lot of people blame the girl for his opening up, but she actually had a very small role. It was those missions, where his life and the lives of others could be lost if he didn't start counting on the others to do their jobs. She was just a focus point. Granted, a very important one, since if it were not for her recurring presence, he may have never fully broken away from his old attitude. And while many people would consider that a good thing, the mental meltdown it would cause is -not- badass, regardless of what anyone says. Remember that.
last modified Jun 10, 2004 at 15:13
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