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*points gun to head*
Good bye
*pulls trigger*
last modified Oct 18, 2004 at 21:44
As long as you are beating it, and are happy with the way you are beating it, you can work alone if you wish. If ever you become disatisfied with the way you are beating it however, here we will always be.
*hugs* take care
I'm beating reality, but on my own. Thanks anyways, but I always work better by myself.
It's a sad thing that you survive? Funny most of us view it as a good thing, one that we appreciate very much. Both devil and angel should be listened to, listening to only one creates naivete. The devil only seeing bad, the angel only good. We listen to both, all of us. It just so happens that there are times like these when we no longer know what to do, when we've tried everything we can possibly do. True, there are always ways to help, just sometimes we haven't regrouped and rethought the situation.
We try to help, and that's all we can do. When people start making jokes it's because they don't want to face reality, but they know it exists. Work with us to beat that reality and maybe we'll be able laugh and smile at life rather than the jokes we make.
*hugs*
Talk to me if you want to, or need to... either or.
It's never been a joke with me, you know that.
That's all I have to say.
This is my only comment:
It matters not whether the angel or the devil speaks, I listen.
I'm just a bit of a failure as a friend to you. I mean, I'm not exactly the nicest guy in the world in the first place, so even when i'm trying to be nice i'm usually being kinda cruel and selfish. I'm fucked up that way. Just let it be known to you that I do try, I just fail miserably.
Biff
Oh, people listen, they just tend not to care most of the time -_-"
You should always be listened to, devil or angel. Everyone deserves someone to listen to them.
*hugs*
Jordan; That's what pisses me off. I wasn't crying wolf. Did you not read the part where I said every time I post something like this I actually attempt suicide? The sad thing is, I survive, and get treated even worse every time.
Regan; You're the only one I'd never try to piss off, and if I ever do, then that's a sign that I'm getting too far out of control.
The sad thing is, I know people aren't making it a joke. I'm just looking for reasons to lash out at people. I think you are truly the only one of my 'friends' who is without blame. Unless you count Naivete, but that's just stupid.
There's a reason why I tell people to ignore me. I never know whether the devil or the angel is writing, and whether I should be listened to or not.
Here's what I say:
Jesse, you can cry wolf all you want. Just make sure there never is a wolf around because it's possible that no one will give a shit when there is.
I didn't roll my eyes, nor did I scoff. Now, while you are trying to piss people off, I assume you will try me, by telling me that I did. And you will succeed only in sending me on a guilt trip. That's totally alright. I know I am not as good a friend as I should be a lot of the time.
I am extremely glad you went to get help Jesse. It was suggeted before, but no one was sure if you considered the idea. I am hoping that this will help you work through all your problems, which I know are real, but can be overcome, because no matter what I know that you are tougher than they are. You just need a hand up sometimes. I don't think people are making it a joke...they just weren't sure how to react. I know that there were times when I didn't know how to react, and different people have different ways of dealing with things. Some of them try to be funny, others just try to be as understanding and loving as they can. I am glad you have found the want to help yourself though. You always had too little confidence, and felt that there was no real reason to. There are many reasons to, as I have told you before, you have a lot of things going for you. Don't throw them away.
*hugs* take care. Love ya, the way you are, and the way you can be.
Steve, you know me better than that. I disappoint everyone. It's what I do best. That, or getting people mad at me.
Most of that long post was directed between you and Nursall, alternating back and forth without indication. The more serious and vindictive parts went towards her.
You should also know that I view Truth as a relative term. I never lie. I twist things around, but never lie.
I'm a very messed individual, mentally unstable at the moment, and my shutting down of my blog was my first attempts at fixing my problem, as was going to guidance office and seeing a therapist. All by myself! I'm such a good little boy. *pats self on head* So it irked me just a bit to know that something which meant so much to me does nothing but make people roll their eyes and scoff. I understand that people do it, and I don't blame them for doing so. I just wish they wouldn't make fun of the fact I'm suicidal. It's not a joke, and should never be seen as such.
>:(
I'm not mad at you... I'm disappointed in you. I thought you were above that kind of thing. Maybe you still are. It was probably just a moment of weakness on your part. Oh well.
Hey kettle, you're black!
Let's see how many more people I can get pissed off at me. Total count is 8 or 9 now...
I don't want you to speak of trust or truth to me ever again Jesse.
And you say you dislike it when friends don't act like they're your friends. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black.
yay! someone agrees!
That's true, brad ^_^
I don't actually hate all of you, heh, just Nursall, and maybe a bit of Marie.
you can't hate *me*, I'm too cute and conceited to hate ^.^
Who said this was a cry for attention like before? This is a metaphoric way of me killing off my blog, because it was getting out of hand, and I was getting tired of it. You didn't notice that I haven't updated in more than a week? Now you understand. (Especially since I just told you before you headed out to North Bay)
On top of that, I only posted these kinds of things when I really was serious about it. When I posted this, I slept with a choke chain around my neck, as tight as it could go, hoping I would die during my sleep. Instead I woke up with a sore throat, and feeling lightheaded in the middle of the night.
I felt disgusted. I now abhor the thought of suicide. I hate this blog, I hate the people who comment on it, and I hate myself, but not as much as I used to. I'm done with this blog, and most of all, I'm fucking tired of my depression. I'm going to get rid of it. But WITHOUT any help from those who supposedly 'care' for me. Words are cheap. This blog ONLY represents the failed promises of my 'friends'. I may be judgemental, but fuck it.
Steve, you're partially right in that I do complain about my life on here, and that this blog is my release. But never have I said that you didn't care. Read my words carefully man, you know me better that. I was saying Fuck You to the people who say they care, than don't do anything about it. If anyone else posted the same sort og things that I post on their blog, I'd call their parents, or report them to someone, if I couldn't help them myself. Even just talking to the person would help. NOT off-handed cynical comments and jokes at the person's expense about their state of mind. It's always great to know that my own personal online punching bag has become a topic of amusement for people. The fact remained that I may not have done it, but I wanted to, or attempted.
So, this is what I'd do when I stop caring about the rest of my Danchan family. I'd kill off my blog.
You got me totally wrong. Big surprise there. Congratulations.
N,Idly.
I'd rather be common than act like this. Just had to say it :P.
Nonetheless, I'll wait for the day when you do this again and suddenly *gasp* no one takes you seriously anymore, and we all just go, "Haha, silly Jesse, bullshitting us again!". What will you do then? Actually try to kill yourself? Reform? Join a cult?
What will you do then, if you lose your way to get attention from the rest of your Danchan family?
And to anyone else who may think of me as a callous bitch for saying this, don't take me in that way. Am I a bitch? Yes. Am I callous? Not really, but I've been around Jesse (suicidE... :P) enough to at least get the gist of his "mental" wanderings.
Though I guess I can't say anything because we are "not speaking" anymore. *rolls eyes* How many times has this been?
Ynylm ;).
Jesse, how many times have you pulled this stunt before?
A few at the least I would think. Then we read the post and come on telling you how we care and how we'd like to help and how your life isn't as bad as you make it seem here on your blog.
Then you read the comments and tell us how we don't really care, how we could never help because we don't understand what you're going through and how you've got it really tough.
Then we say that we do care. Then you say "fuck you".
All of this is caused by just one post on a blog that you use as a release more than a way to tell people how you're going to kill yourself.
I wonder how many people have noticed that you haven't shot yourself in the face yet.
I imagine people at school thinking, "Oh my god! There's Jesse. I'm gonna try and look for the bullet wounds on his face. He shot himself just last night so they should be fresh and easy to see. I hope he doesn't notice me looking at him so much.
... Weird. I don't see any bullet wounds.
...
He must have really good cover-up."
People just don't understand. I'm not even sure I understand completely either.
Is anyone else finding it hilarious that just about everyone is taking it as a joke?
I guess that makes you a commoner then. :P (just had to say it)
Random comment time!
If I've learned anything from reading any comments on this blog (including my own) over the past year it's that people will never learn... and if they do it'll take them a long time.
*Notice he never said which part of the gun he was pointing at his head. Maybe he was pointing the handle at his head and shot the floor. You never know.
Oh, and fuck you, sugar. ^_^
(For bveing a King you sure can act like a commoner.)
(Hey! Didja ever know that commoner is another word for slut in Othello? So is 'hobbyhorse'. Stupid Shakespeare...)
i know its a bit late.. but DONT! lol. :P I still have that Dragonforce album to get to you. You can't go without some awesome power-metal, but most importantly, you can't go at all! :P If you need to talk about anything, just message me, I'm always willing to help a friend!
you wanna talk lets talk tails.kitsune@gmail.com I dont even know you, so it shouldnt be too hard to just lay into me/the world like nobodies business, just dont do anythin stoopid okies? cept add me :P yeh thatd be dumb...but cool lol ^_^ an thanx for rulin me out of teh fuck you hee hee ttyl
the irony of it all is that this is the most amount of comments i have ever seen on a blog lol
Well, that "Fuck you" Was very cheerful...
*hugs*
Yup! Fuck you too, Jesse!
=D
Awwww, Jesse.
Fuck you too!
.
Hey, you know we love you. ;)
Cheer up, emo puppy.
Thanks, mani2linchik!
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