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Black Rose Immortal
Latest posts below.
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there's no ring, there's no ring on the phone anymore
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
At the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
Your private eye
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
You won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
-Private Eye by Alkaline Trio
last modified Jun 14, 2006 at 1:46
-Current mood: meh
Quote from: Darby Wallace on Sunday, October 26. 07:36PM EST 2003
Achilles:I can either pull out the verses that you wouldn't believe anyway, or I can summerize it. If you want the verses, just ask.
Everyone's sinned. We are seperated from God by our sin. God wants us to return to Him. That's why He sent Jesus. Jesus was the ultimate sacrfice to cover our sins. Pure and holy, sinless, blameless; God Himself. He died to wash us of our sin, to give us a way to be reunited with Him.
Yes, God is willing to accept anyone and everyone. Not everyone is willing to accept God however. If you're Christian, you lead a changed life, a free life, you're no longer a slave to sin. But many wish to rule their own lives. To do what they wish. To follow their own will and not God's.
God said to follow Him. God didn't say, "Do whatever you want and we can hang out once you're done with the Earth thing, it's all cool." He said that those who reject Him will be judged.
---
Me: I would be interested in seeing those verses, but I don't want to waste your time in looking them up and writing. Instead, could you tell me which passages they are in the bible?
I hope I'm not being offensive, here, if so, please tell me if I am. I've no wish to offend anyone, especially in small matters such as this...
For my own religious beliefs, I would classify myself as an open-minded universalistic agnostic. There's a lot of religions out there, even if they are different interpretations of the same basic thing, but I wouldn't bring myself to limit myself to just one, because I have yet to see one that is perfect. I take parts from all of them that seem sensible.
I would follow the will of God, no question about it, if I didn't doubt the wisdom of the bible... As a good friend of mine says, "I follow God, not the Bible."
If there is a God, and he deems it necessary that I not be allowed to heaven if I were to proclaim Homosexuality is okay, then I wouldn't want to follow such a God anyways. I believe that there is good in humans. just as there is evil. However, I will leave it to my heart to determine which is which... not some ancient words which leave no room for free thought.
I've never done anything that I would call evil or sinful by choice. If my heart says there is nothing wrong with it, what reason do I have to believe otherwise?
"This above all else; to thine own self be true."
-This was a clipout of a debate I'm in. More to follow, on other issues.
-Envirothon was okay. Not great, but it beat doing nothing for 3 classes.
-You know what sucks? I can point at any one of my friends, and guaranteed they have some sort of problem going on with their life at the moment. Gotta love teen angst.
*Is angst free*
(for the moment)
-It's a good feeling. You guys should try it. Be like the guys in the Mac Hall webcomic. Shit happens. Life goes on. Scrape the shit off your shoes, and keep walking. The smell offends people.
-If you'll excuse me, I need to be off to do my homework. If anyone feels like talking to help get rid of their angst, or to receive help in controlling your hormones, just ask. It's easier than you think.
Current Song: I Touch Myself - Jack Off Jill
And so this wraps up Lunae Dies, October 27th. Adios
Current Mood: Bored :/
-Moral Dilemma of the day: The "Block" feature of IM chats. I recently had the displeasure of being forced to use said feature. Normally, I'd never even think of using it, as I have a lot of patience, and can deal with a lot of asshole's shit. Does this mean that I have to though? I mean, he added me. Not the other way around. I never enjoyed talking with him. (I LOATHE people who spell badly on the internet. This wasn't even normal bad spelling like Alex N.'s. No, this was more of the type of intentional bad spelling that gives you a headache just trying to read it.) And the fact that he seemed really young and immature. Immaturity is another thing I loathe. The final step, was when he started insulting something I was favourable towards because he couldn't understand it. Add in the fact he just pops up randomly, and starts inane conversations, he was extremely aggravating.
-I still feel bad about it though :(
-I guess I'm just an old softy...
-About my last post, you gotta love those days where it just spills forth, and all you are is a conduit for the words and energy flowing through your brain...
-Wish I could write sensible stuff as easily as that...
-Yeah, the poem I tried writing after that ended up as shit... couldn't keep control of my mind to stay on a single topic or to keep a single mood in mind (as evidenced below)
-Tore it up, heh
-*sigh* such a boring day... highlight was playing soccer, and winning against a team that outnumbered us 2-1... oh, and blowing up gummy bears  ...
-Monday I'll be at this Envirothon thing for the school day... hope its fun, despite none of my friends going :(
-Apparently, I remind people of character is this comic:
http://www.machall.com/index.php?strip_id=93
-Tuesday, I will have a big Math test. Surprise surprise, I'm still in it. It's not so hard, just more of doing the work. If I manage to bomb the test, then screw it. No way will I ever be able to pass Math then...
-hmm... mid-terms coming up... crap...
-Bought the newest Iron Maiden CD. Some average songs, some excellent ones on the CD. Overall, worth my last $20...
Current Song: No More Lies - Iron Maiden
And so this wraps up Frigga's day, October 24th. Adios
Current Mood: Bwah
-As Janis and Steve have brought to my attention, to the joke I tried to play on Day 50 backfired horribly... all because of one stupid word... It's gone now, so don't bother looking for it.
-You know what would be nice? ANYTHING! God, I'm bored...
-Must try harder on project X
-Okay, everyone knows I am good at controlling my hormones, right? All that teenage bullshit like horniness and angst and shit... well, I'm going to let my guard down for a bit. I feel like just smashing everything around me.
-Or maybe I'm just losing my grip on reality...
-round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody knows...
-A perfect circle is nearly impossible to draw... We start out with a square, and smooth our edges until it's as round as it can get. Funny how that is... Life is a circle. Or, to be more precise, life is making the circle. Which is which? nobody knows...
-Now I'm even talking in circles... is anyone listening? nobody knows...
Nobody knows, except for me!
-I'd say crazy I am, but crazy I am, so crazy I am? It was a trick question, dumbass. Oh, sorry. 'Salright.
-I have to get off this computer now... I can hear my brother and his girlfriend having sex. Maybe I should go join them...
-Or I can just ramble more...
-You've the rank smell of Golodon the unmanned, BASTARD!
-Move along now, I've rather strained my voice...
-There's a method to my madness. But only I hold the key to the door behind which lies all the secrets to my supposed craziness.
-YOU'RE THE ONES WHO ARE CRAZY!
-right?
-Murphy's Law versus Newton's Law of Gravity:
-If you butter a piece of bread, and strap it to the back of a cat so that the butter faces up and the legs face down, and drop them together, would it hover a few inches from the ground in a state of quantum indecision? Would it tear apart at the molecular level? Would the dimensions of the cat-bread hybrid distort in such a way that they somehow both touch the ground?
-Who the fuck cares?
-The cat obviously. Yet another trick question...
-I'm on the phone long long distance...
-No, I'm actually not, but go ahead and presume I am anyway...
-Why am I going crazy? I have no idea... is it because I'm venturing further and further from who I am? In other words, is forgetting how to be depressed meaning chaos and insanity take it's place?
-No, that's not a trick question, dumbass. Oh sorry. 'salright.
-It would seem likely, because it's likely I'm just going crazy to ignore my depression. So it's not really controlling, as it is converting. Well, what would be better than insanity or depression... Hate against everything?
-Fuck, sure why not! You bunch of dumb-witted fucktards...
-Hmm, no, not anger... It's no more a part of me than anything else... anger is foreign to me...
-Perhaps I could become numb, and ignore everything? But then, I might as well just be dead... Not an unwelcome idea in mind, certainly...
-Half the fun is deciphering which of these are crazy or not.
-Regardless of my state of mind, it's how you perceive them, and if you think you are crazy or not.
-Insanity is a relative term.
-Well, no fucking shit, Einstein...
-It was a trick question, dumbass. Oh, sorry. 'Salright.
-Damnit, I... I... I never loved you. Well that's comforting, what with me being on my deathbed and all...
-Here's an annoying thing to do... go into any song (preferably one with a repeated verb) and replace a word with Love.
-Surfacing by Slipknot:
I LOVE YOU ALL!
I LOVE THIS WORLD!
I LOVE EVERYTHING THAT IT STANDS FOR!
-It's just not the same, is it?
-Please don't kill me Janis? (I want that pleasure for myself)
-It was a trick question, dumbass. Oh, sorry. 'Salright.
-How strangely erotic..
-Pics. Now.
-Y HALO THAR BUTSECKS!
-Your only option is suicide.
Sanctuary from my mind
it's kicking my behind
I claim it within you
but it just hurts you too
-hmm... good start to a poem or a song maybe...
-Anyone want a free mind? Hardly used, lots of potential! Makes a good paperweight!
-....................
-I'm having fun watching the bacteria move across my eyes...
-Special hello to Jordan, fellow LUEser and piano prodigy extraordinaire! The only guy I wouldn't want to face in a Reach For The Top match
-Special hello to Biff, fellow freak of nature and music fanatic to the nth degree. The only guy I wouldn't want to break an instrument in front of.
-Special hello to Lex, fellow... human? I dunno about that... er... fellow mellow yellow jello hello good bye
-Special hello to Steve, fellow freak. (emphasis on the period, which you can't do in text) The only person I wouldn't want to have a musical duel with.
-Special hello to Janis, fellow fiend, and crazy swinger (if you know what I mean) The only person I wouldn't want to have to play the movie game trivia (or whatever it's called) against.
-Special hello to Adric, you're not even going to read this, so why bother?
-It was a trick question, dumbass. Oh, sorry. 'Salright.
-Special hello to Nursall, fellow older sibling and crazy artist. The only person I wouldn't want to have to compete against in a painting and piano competition (do they even have those?)
-Special hello to Courtney, fellow Kleptomaniac and crazy mood swinger. The only person I wouldn't steal from, especially coka
-Special hello to Darien, fellow Hacker and motherfucker extraordinaire. The only person I would never piss off, because he's a hacker! (1337 and sacky)
-Special hello to Booshi, fellow Anime reader, and makes being Gothic look hot. The only person I wouldn't test my knowledge of anime against (except Karl, but he's not human so he no count)
-Special hello to anyone else who reads this, because you haven't posted yet, so please, do so, so that I know who to kill!
-And that's why the lines on the road are yellow.
Current Song: Long Distance - Cake
And so this wraps up Tyr's day, October 21st. Adios
Current Mood: Alone... I need someone to talk to... or a hug...
Is it any wonder why I'm scared,
If I was a little younger would I
care,
feeling like the walls are growing stronger,
I don't know if this cage can hold me any longer
I'm not afraid of tomorrow,
I'm only scared of myself,
feels like my insides are on fire, and I'm looking through the eyes of someone else
I never thought they'd want me to go even faster,
never thought I took my foot off the gas,
everybody loves to be in on the pressure,
but I know they're all waiting for the crash
I'm not afraid of tomorrow,
I only scared of myself,
feels like my insides are on fire and i'm looking through the eyes of someone else
-In an alright mood, though something just does not feel right... An identity crisis perhaps? I hope not... I was just beginning to find one... oh well, stupid teenage hormones
*shrugs them off as usual*
-Maybe it's the shrugging off that's bothering me, and the lack of dealing with it. I'm used to dealing with things head on... But of course, I can't really talk with my friends about most stuff. (well, I don't usually, but it'd be nice if I could when stuff does come up)
-Okay then... I'll just avoid dumping my problems on others, could that work? That sounds a little like I'm giving up on friends. It bothers me because in talking about stuff that's depressing, it only seems as if I'm giving my depression to others...
-This is really bothering me... to be open, but know I'm bringing myself up whilst bringing everyone else down, or to keep it within myself...
-It's amazing the amount of shit in my life... life deals me sour grapes, and I'm going to make wine out of them. As that article I posted said, I can handle these problems.
-On one hand, I'm bleeding from my knuckles, on the other, my pinky was bent at an odd angle. 1.2 hours on an 80 lb punching bag does wonders for deforming your knuckles...
-Maybe I could just yell at the elements... Defy the wind, stand strong.
-COME ON LIFE, IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? I'M MAKING IT EASY FOR YOU, AND I'M STILL HERE! EVERYTHING THAT DOESN'T KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER! COME ON, I KNOW YOU CAN DISH OUT MORE THAN THAT! I HAVEN'T HIT MY LIMIT YET! HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT! KILL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, GO AHEAD. I'LL STILL BE STANDING HERE! (alone maybe, as always, but still...) COME ON, I CAN TAKE IT! HIT ME! AHHHHHHHHHHH!
-Sorry, needed to get that out, because I couldn't keep going on the punching bag... it was too loud >_<
-Kinda makes you wonder what next, eh? We'll see when we get to it... heh heh...
-Well, my mood is considerably better...
Current Song: Tomorrow - SR-71
And so this wraps up Lunae Dies, October 20th. Adios
Current Mood: None
-Control over mind... slipping...
-Depression seeping in...
Current Song: Angela's Ashes
And so this wraps up Saturn's Day, October 18th. Adios
Current Mood: Sleepy
-Er, didn't have anything special for this day, sorry.
-Last night was probably the most physical pain I've EVER been in, even more than the time I broke my wrist... even more than my first migraine... even more than, well, everything. It just hurt. Get the point?
-Good
-and today I was making little faces with the floppy part of a floppy disk, and the metal center. I made Napoleon, John Wayne, Afroman, Janis, Steve, and others. Crazy fun.
-Then in 5th period, me and Steve went to tropics north with our teacher to buy a lot of aquarium stuff. More fun.
-Er, I'm headed for a nervous breakdown soon. Was narrowly avoided today, but someday soon. Just thought you should know, so you can prepare the straightjacket and bomb shelters
-I have such a scary thing planned for Hallowe'en, heh...
-...and I made out with a rock because I thought it was going to kill me... I'm very confident that it was a girl rock, though...
-Kill Bill was a really good movie, I'd like to see it again someday.
-No Meningitis shot for me.
Current Song: Your Woman - White Town
And so this wraps up Thor's Day, October 16th. Adios
Current Mood: Divided...
-I'll get to that later, though
-I tried editing my weblog template. All went fine and well, except I can't change the colour of the main text. GAH!
-Er... in the process of making this post, I somehow fixed it... o_O
-An oddly odd oddity indeed of mysteriously mysterious proportions...
-Magic; a wizard did it
-Anyways, now that that is out of the way... I don't what I should do...
-Math. I'm good at it, I can understand it. I just can't do the work whatsoever... No matter what I try, I can't do the work. Thus, in contrast to every other class, come test time, I am screwed... Give me 5 hours, and maybe I can work out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing, but of course, time is a luxury I can't afford during a test. So, my thoughts turn to dropping it. I can drop it, and turn my time to other matters which can use them, or I can not give up and give in to the stress, and tough it out. I could just buckle down, and actually force myself to do the work... I'm not one to give in when the going gets difficult, but maybe I should learn to admit defeat for once? If I don't learn my limits, then I may be crushed by them, and never recover... Can I afford a to take a risk such as that one? Instead, I think I will minimize the risk, by leaving it for now, and then, if I need it, I'll come back to school for another year. Plus I get the benefits of working on other stuff instead of math, like Chem...
-Okay, so it wasn't much of a debate, as it was my lazy side convincing myself to take the easy way out. Still, let it be known it is not retreating, but merely a tactical flanking maneuver... >_>
-My dream job: Animal Psychologist
-Would I need Geometry for that? Not likely...
-Maybe my biggest problem is just asking for help, which I do need. Or should that be did need? I'm too independent when it comes to stuff like that.
-In this case, mind wins over uh... mind, I guess. My will to never quit was over-ridden by the more intelligent decision to drop it for now, and concentrate on other fronts which need my attention.
-Then again, If I magically ace tomorrow's test, then maybe I'll just stick with it... Unlikely though...
Current Song: Crazy Train - Black Sabbath
And so this wraps up Tyr's Day, October 14th. Adios
Okay, so I've never been too good at doing home work and studying, mainly because I've never needed to before. You know, it's not so easy... not like tests...
Also, I'm going to need to get into better shape before Soccer starts next year...
anyways, just random thoughts...
Current Mood: Angry
-Yeah, so in between debating Suicide, Genocide, Gender wars, Christopher Columbus, Kill Bill, and soccer/football, I kind of let the stupidity of people get to me today... (instead of doing homework)
-Of course, I couldn't help feeling just slightly ticked when I see a topic with the title: happy happy lets kill teh natives day!!!!!!
-Biggest piece of shit article I've ever read: http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/Columbus-X.gif
-Stupid Columbus Day...
-My mood did slightly raise though, after reading this article on Jordan's weblog:
Suicidal tendencies: Holden Caulfield was tougher than you think
by Caroline Alphonso - Saturday, August 2, 2003 - The Globe & Mail, Page F8
Young adults with suicidal tendencies may be stronger and much more resilient than most of us believe.
New research by University of Alberta educational psychologists Robin Everall and Barbara Paulson reveals that young people with early suicidal thoughts show surprising inner strength and are able to rebound from this adversity.
"We think of people who become suicidal as being weak," Ms. Everall said, "and what they're showing us is that they go into this process -- and it is a process of feeling very weak -- but they're able to dig out strength inside of themselves to cure themselves.
"I think that's huge."
The suicide rate for Canadian teens has been of growing concern in recent years because it has been rising so rapidly.
For example, Health Canada says the figure increased from 3.3 deaths for every 100,000 teens in 1950 to 13.8 in 1991, when only auto accidents killed more young people.
The Alberta researchers say there is plenty of medical information about suicidal tendencies in teenagers, but very little from the perspective of the teens themselves. "Until we can put a handle on the processes underlying feeling suicidal," Ms. Everall explains, "it's very difficult to really do something about it in a way that's meaningful."
So, rather than focus on teens who have committed suicide, she and her colleague are looking at those thinking about it.
For every young person who dies, she estimates at least 10, and likely many more, are gradually working up to it.
And yet, she adds, there is little help for them. "If you are at the extreme end, we give you service. But if you're not, there's not a lot of services to access."
To learn more about such young people, the two researchers are studying more than 65 of them who live in Alberta, Saskatchewan, Ontario and Nova Scotia. All are 15 to 24 years old, and say they have seriously considered taking their own lives.
Their interviews have revealed that those who have overcome the self-destructive impulse have at least four things in common:
They were able to build strong relationships, not with just one or two people, but in larger settings, such as the workplace.
They confided in someone else about their feelings and weren't judged for doing so.
They started to focus on the present, blocking out the negative experiences of the past.
They exhibited personal control, knowing that what they did would make a difference in their lives.
According to Ms. Everall, the results show that "there needs to be a shift in what we do with people that we see are struggling, in terms of providing positive perspectives to life and encouragement."
-Also, website has a new poetry page. Go me.
-Turkey dinner three nights in a row. Yum. Turkey sandwiches to follow for weeks
-Anyways, I must be off. Homework calls.
Current Song: Twisted Nerve - Bernard Hermann
And so this wraps up Lunae Dies, October 13th. Adios
Current Mood: Sick
-Must have been something in the water...
-At least I came back alive, and in only...
*counts*
1,2,3... 6 pieces. A new record!
-Unfortunately, my brother will soon grind my bones to make his bread... as bad as that sounds >_> (actually, he apparently didn't even notice, so w00tzors...)
-As soon as I got home yesterday, around 5:00 I went to sleep. Didn't wake up until a couple hours ago. No school for me today.
-It was fun... especially the part where I jabbed myself in the eye with a frickin' Pine needle. I may need to get it checked out soon.
*winks*
OW! damnit...
Current Song: Vivica -Jack Off Jill
And so this wraps up Thor's day, October 9th. Adios.
Current Mood: Excited (and not in that way)
-This is gonna be a short post, I have to leave soon
-Camping trip. It's going to be fun, despite my older brother killing me upon my return (if I return)
-Will be back Wednesday, hopefully in time for Jazz band
-Mmm... banick
-You know, I'd have gone insane a long time ago if it weren't for me dancing potatoes
-If a tree falls in the forest, then straightens back up as a joke, do the squirrels freak out?
-www.badgerbadgerbadger.com
Current Song: badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM
And so this wraps up Sunday, October 5th. Adios.
Current Mood:Shleeeepy
-*yawn*
-Today (or should that be yesterday?) was pretty fun... Played music for our school's viking scholar day. Was fun. Hardly screwed up, heh
-Then went to the reception. Had several handfuls of cookies and stuff.
-Then went to Janis's after school, where I filled what was left in the crevices of my stomach with more cookies.
-Had sort of a party, if you could call it that. Went the way our parties usually do, with half the people getting emo/angsty and generally spoiling what could have been a fun night.
-Let's see... I was... myself, just sitting there, not doing much...
-Steve was hyper and full of energy
-So was Dave, though not as much (thankfully)
-Adric was a tad testy towards everybody
-Janis was having fun with Ryannon, and then when she left, with everyone else
-Alex was in her mood where she was kinda distant and stuff... as if there was just something bothering her (though she'd never admit to anyone what it was)
-Anyways, I need sleep... so in closing, have fun you bunch of fuckwitted dumbasses!
Current Song: Surfacing - Slipknot
And so this wraps up Saturday, October 4th. Adios.
Current Mood: Slightly mad
-Why am I mad? Because of my dad.
-Hey, that rhymes Now I'm slightly less mad...
-I'm also sick. Didn't go to school today
-I guess I should explain. My dad lives in Calgary. I live in Sudbury, Ontario. Quite a distance between us... Anyway, I just got off the phone with him. He calls about once a week or so. I could consider myself lucky in that I don't have these teenage confrontations with my dad more often, since he doesn't live with me, though it does make it worse when it does happen. Anyway, he asked me if I got my guitar yet. Followed by why not? Followed by Where did the money go? Followed by a thousand more questions. I wasn't being too specific, but I didn't know how much he hated vagueness... Obviously I felt like slamming the phone down right there, because the Inquisition was making me uncomfortable. Then anytime I said anything in defense he called me a smartass. Then he gets mad at me for not talking more. Gee, I wonder why?
-Anyway, enough about that...
-Spent half the morning emptying my stomach of it's contents, along with a stuffed nose
-Going to my friend's tomorrow to watch Dusk Till Dawn. Should be good.
-I'd be whaling the punching bag if I could, but my mom and her boyfriend are asleep.
-Can't wait til monday, woo...
Current Song: Seemann - Rammstein
And so this wraps up Thursday, October 2nd. Adios.
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