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Black Rose Immortal
Latest posts below.
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there's no ring, there's no ring on the phone anymore
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
At the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
Your private eye
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
You won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
-Private Eye by Alkaline Trio
last modified Jun 14, 2006 at 1:46
Current Mood: Thinkalicious
-First order of business: Have you ever seen Bowling for Columbine?
-2: Have you ever read any type of article or website slandering said film or debunking it?
-3: Are you bored?
-If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, then I advise you to check out this webpage. In it, M. Moore refutes all claims that his movie is crap and/or false. However, seeing as I have yet to see the movie (though owning it) I though that people who have seen the movie would like to see this link:
http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/wackoattacko/
-Now back to me...
-Fruit orders arrive tomorrow. I suspect I'm going to be busy all day.
-Did nothing all of today and yesterday. I am incredibly bored. There's only so many times you can beat Final Fantasy games over and over, again and again...
-hm... that time of the month is coming... time to update my website soon... look for updates in the poetry section, and for the links to the picture page to be fixed, hopefully.
-Dang, it's anniversary was last September. Can't believe I forgot that...
-Still, I appreciate each and every guestbook entry on the site and every comment posted here.
"You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round."
Current Song: You Spin Me Round - Dope (cover of Dead or Alive)
And so the wraps up the day of Helios, November 30th. Adios
Current Mood: Sleeeeeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyy
-Sorry your day sucked. I fell in mud, if that makes you feel any better. 
-Thursday was fun. Spares in all my classes, including Jazz Band. No school Friday either. 1 class in 3 school days, w00t...
-Anyways, went to a rather homoerotic party today. Had a lot of fun, hehe. It's great to be open-minded...
-Relaxed in a hot tub. Man, I need to buy one of those when I grow up...
From: The Sage Nabooru | Posted: 11/28/2003 4:42:55 PM | Message Detail
Today at work, I had to put up with such crap. Two women came in, on two seperate occasions, and proceeded to chew my butt out for stuff that was THEIR fault. One lost a receipt and claimed that it was my fault for not printing a second one. The other claimed it was my fault that I didn't give her a discount merely out of my own good heart. I didn't do anything wrong. They did. And it wasn't so much that as it was how rude and show-offy they were to me. I was called names, repeatedly told that I was wasting their time since they'd been there since noon or eleven or some stupid time like that (what the hell do they know, I'd been there since 6:45 that morning), and given a full show of just how tough and bad-ass they thought they could be. (The real killer was when I called management for reporting a disruptive customer, and they came down, and agreed that yes, they are evil witches, but go ahead and give them what they want anyway. Grrrr.)
And as I was driving home, after that wonderful day, it got me to thinking: a big part of our society is all about showing other people just how bad-ass we can be. It's called "assertiveness", but it's really just being an asshat. So you lost your receipt. I'm sorry, truly I am. Is that my fault? Or are you simply taking this opportunity to chew my guts out and show me how tough you are? What's wrong with being polite? What's wrong with common courtesy? What's wrong with consideration when I've done all I can for you? I'm sure you can be very big and threatening. Really, I know. Now will you treat me with some respect instead of going into your "assertiveness" show?
"Assertiveness" is simply placing all blame on others and not letting them forget it. I'm not saying that one should never, ever, ever be rude. But I am saying that one should only be rude when one has been directly and unquestionably rude to you. If you're merely upset that you've dropped your bag on the way out the door of the store, be willing to take the blame yourself and don't believe those vile little self-help books that tell you to turn right around, march right back into that store, and demand a total refund and reimbursing merchandise for your loss whilst behaving and believing that, through a mysterious and mistily vague cause, that the store, and therefore the salespeople, are responsible.
It also got me thinking about morals. People that have sex left and right, and people who drink before 21 and laugh at Christianity and other faiths and such, like to live on the mistaken assumption that they are rebelling against society. Nay. This is exactly what society is telling them to do. They're not rebelling against anything except morals and rights and wrongs set up hundreds of years ago and long dead. Now it's gotten to the point where the virgin, the Christian, the non-drinker, the moralistic person, the "old-fashioned" person is the rebel. They are the people who are stared at in disbelief for their supposed inability to have a good time. What's so bad about morals? What makes these people rebels? Why don't other people stop thinking about having fun and start thinking about what the really right thing to do is?
This is just my opinion.
What's sad, is that people flamed him for asking those questions... true signs that humanity is really devolving...
To elaborate on the above points:
From: Duterasemis | Posted: 11/28/2003 9:37:54 PM | Message Detail
It's not human to whine, it's just childish. It's true that you'll never hear a chimp complaining about losing his keys, but they whine nonetheless. It IS animalistic to complain incessantly and care only about your own needs. Being human is about being moral, it's about rising above your roots and leaving the world better than you left it. Obviously, this ideal is not always met--not many people reach intense spiritual growth--but it is still an ideal. I remember how M. Scott Peck put it in The Road Less Traveled: "It's perfectly natural to defecate in your pants, but it's not human."
Current Song: Mad World - Gary Jules (One of my favourite songs of all time)
And so this wraps up the day of Saturn, November 29th. Adios
Current Mood: Happy (for lack of a better word)
-My MSN hotmail address which works for MSN messenger as well is now posted above, along with my AOL screen name. Feel free to contact me, though be warned I'm only an exciting conversationalist half the time...
Today's crazy thought: What if God = (Father) Time
If God is Time, and Time is relative, then God is relative.
And if God is my relative, then that makes me a demi-God.
God = Time, Time is Money, Money is the root of all evil, so... *doesn't say the obvious blasphemous statement*
-Anyways, feel free to post any you come up with, such as Time is precious and the Space-God continuum and whatnot...
-I have a bald patch on my arm now...
-Went babysitting the night before, and going again tonight
-Yesterday was pretty fun, hehe...(I'm sorry, that wasn't quite vague enough for me. Could you try being a little less specific?)
-Going to start dissecting cats soon enough... any tips?
-And finally, I only had 1 class today, and we played VolleyBall in it. We also had Jazz band, and it was fun.
"If I had arms I could kill myself. If I had legs I could run away. If I had a voice, I could talk and be some kind of company for myself."
"Why don't they get it over with and kill me?"
"I could yell for help... but nobody'd help me..."
"I just gotta do something. I don't see how I could go on like this."
"S.O.S... Help me... S.O.S... Help me..."
Current Song: *** - Metallica (sorry, you gotta guess for yourself :P )
And so this wraps up Odin's Day, November 26th. Adios
Current Mood: Thinky... I think I just made a new word...
*WARNING: Long words ahead. Brains will explode. Please, wear a helmet. Have a good day*
"Daddy was born in Manchester, Mummy in Bristol, and I in London: strange that the three of us should have met!"
"A letter always arrives at its destination since its destination is wherever it arrives."
"Insofar as an interpretation or theoretical explanation of a work of art endeavors to frame its object, one can say that this modernist dialectics provides another example of how the frame is always included in, is a part of, the framed content: in modernism, theory about the work is comprised in the work, the work is a kind of preemptive strike at possible theories about itself."
"In one of his letters, Freud refers to the well-known joke about the newly married man who, when asked by his friend how his wife looks, how beautiful she is, answers: "I personally don't like her, but that's a matter of taste." The paradox of this answer does not point towards an attitude of selfish calculation ("True, I don't like her, but I married her for other reasons-her wealth, the social influence of her parents..."). Its crucial feature is that by providing this answer, the subject pretends to assume the standpoint of universality from which "to be likeable" appears as an idiosyncrasy, as a contingent pathological feature which, as such, is not to be taken into consideration. The joke therefore relies on the impossible/untenable position of enunciation of the newly married: from this position, marriage appears as an act which belongs to the domain of universal symbolic determinations and should as such be independent of personal idiosyncrasies-as if the very notion of marriage does not involve precisely the pathological fact of liking a particular person for no particular rational reason."
"Rand fits into the line of over-conformist authors who undermine the ruling ideological edifice by their very excessive identification with it."
I only had to read them 3 times to understand them. Go me.
Current Song: Chop Suey - System of a Down
And so this wraps up Lunae Dies, November 24th. Adios
(Note: That's not the title.)
Filled by hate, fueled by lust
Inspired by vows of broken trust
Searching for love, finding solitude's glory
Im just a pawn in your tragic story
And as I crash, I watch you burn
Glad to see its finally your turn
Anger kills and tempers fly
No faith, no love; Just pass me by
Pointing fingers, taking names,
Happiness turns into mind games.
Despair and loathing fill the void,
Telling the tale of lives destroyed.
Shunned and crushed, broken and bruised
Now you know how it feels to be used.
Scared and weak, tears run free
Now you know how it feels to be me...
By: Ryannon
Pain is a part of life. It is with us so long as we live. It shoves us screaming in agony into a harsh world of light and cold and hunger, and drags us off into another world we know absolutely nothing about at the end of it. It is inescapable that at every moment of your life you will have some pain to contend with.
Thus, is it not possible that pain is an integral, and therefore necessary part of life? I submit that this is true. Pain is with us at all times. In your infancy, you must eventually come to the realization that you and the universe are separate things, that the being that cares for you is not an extension of yourself. You must overcome the pain that comes with growth. You must strain your muscles to move, you must learn to focus your eyes, to crawl, to walk, to cry. You must endure the agony of bone tearing out through the tender flesh lining your jaws. You must contend with the soul-sundering torture of being away from the beings that spawned you and gave you life. You must realize that the universe does not bend to your will.
And after all this pain, there is more. You need to interact with these separate beings, these other creatures who have also realized that the universe is not their plaything, and in fact often actively returns their blows of want and desire with devoidance of these needs. You must contend with their will and for the first time be denied. Skip ahead a few years, and you're learning for the first time that the world is infinitely more complex than you have ever imagined.
I'll not continue with this. You know all theses pains. You have endured them yourself. But look at where it has brought you. Without pain, there is no growth. If you don't force yourself to adapt to your changing view of the world, you remain a thoughtless piece of meat floating in a sea of atoms and forces. What distinguishes us from all other creatures is our ability to deny the world itself, to refuse to give in to pain and move on. When you were five years old, you were more intelligent than any other species on the planet, and it was all thanks to the varying ways you coped with the pain, and adapted.
---
As the flame tempers steel, so too, does pain strengthen and purify the heart.
Current Mood: Bleh
-Fingers... hurting... typing... slowly...
-Interviews online require a hella big amount of typing...
-2 hours of almost non-stop typing
-On a plus side, I may be part of the RPG Elite now, w00t...
-Not that anyone cares
-Frailty, thy name is woman... (can anyone guess where that's from?)
-Saw Matrix 3, meh
-*Sigh*... life...
-Heart problems... can't say much here... yet...
Current Song: Blind Faith - Dream Theatre
And so the wraps up the day of Helios, November 23rd. Adios
Current Mood: SICK
-The Migraine I got yesterday from a surprise test followed by physical exertion and loud instruments came back this morning to make me throw up. No school today.
-Hand no longer bleeding. Slapshots to the hand tore open an old cut.
-Spent lunch period yesterday in a tree, playing sax.
-Yet more of that self-sacrificing nature to the rescue...
-I just realized there's a huge cut on my leg, after noticing a big red stain... crap... big hole in my pants...
*Note to self, never sleep with knives in your pants*
-Gotta clean this up now, and MY BED and SHEETS and BLANKET TOO! AUGH!
(Not deep, don't worry... I just re-opened it somehow)
Current Song: Orion - Metallica
And so this wraps up Thor's Day, November 20th. Adios.
I know people read my blog, I just wanted to get the lurkers to get out of the woodwork...
Just ignore the fact I'm(was) in not so great a mood
Current Song: Land Down Under - Men At Work
Current Mood: Moody
-I firmly believe that the only (people) who reads this daily is Steeev (and Jordan). What does this mean? Apparently nothing, seeing as (they) will be the only (people) to read it anyways...
-*waves to Steve (and Jordan)*
No song for the day. I'd rather sit in silence.
And so this wraps up Lunae Dies, November 17th. Adios
Current Mood: Fuck you, like you care :P
You ask me what I'm scared of...
Oh what would I give if it knew what to say. Thoughts in my head rocket as if time itself can not keep up. Deep thoughts on simple causes, thoughts triggering a sting of emotion. That could not be.
To any other I would simply call you a fool. But out of respect for you, I'll try my best to tell you how it is. Try to explain what I've become, so thoroughly mutated, or utterly confused. Forgive me sunshine, its not cowardice that I can not say this to your face, but rather the written word is my paintbrush, the way I've adopted to express myself.
I could say this heart is cold and charred, but that would be untrue. This heart stands virgin, running years and years by in perfect solitary. A brutal habit born of childhood mistrust, crafted of treachery and desecration.
I've never told anyone, I'm unsure why. I think of it as a slip of fate or a just another footstep in dogshit. Shit happens, I accept this... And well it happened to me. Because of where I choose to publicly address this, (I like to offer the bellows of my soul to the dogs of war, to see if I'm strong enough to take their heat, and the heartbreak that comes along with it)
Oh wow, I'm choking on this. Is it so hard to confess something I'm not at fault for. Why is it so hard to say, would too many questions be asked, its still a sore and raw subject, a chunk of ice pricks into my heart at thinking this. But I must deal with this, sure I could avoid this forever, to simply not acknowledge but childhood fears are behind me. Talk to strangers first, then talk to those will not let sleeping dogs lie. I will not fear this any longer.
So any ways, because of where this is going to be said, I'm leaving out the details and please don't ask for them either, just let a foggy piece of the puzzle fall into place. Don't try to pick it clean, it'll fuck up the whole picture. So when I was a kid I was molested, not by family or whatever. But it was a country part of town, maybe it was just backwater with class, who the fuck knows but I got dicked around when I was young. I learned some and did my best to stray away. But it stilled sucked. It sucked sorta bad. Too young to be introduced to such ugly ugly ugly things. And thats the strongest reason I stray from physical contact, it scares the fucking shit out of me. Scares me bad, real bad, like tears want to creep into my eyes at this moment but I'll wave them off as hormones. It bugs me the way people talk about sex and getting laid, and how fucking horny they are. It makes me sick to my stomach. I want to puke or strike them with a bat, but such actions would silently admit what I've just told you. One of my darkest little secrets. I have darker deeper ones, but none of those will ever concern you, or the rest of humanity so we're going to leave them unspoken.
So lets fast forward a bit. Lets just say its ok, and you understand, which I'm sure you will. You got a heart of gold, I can see it in you, but you allow other remedies to interfere with your judgement, that make you a little spooky sort of distant at times. But that isn't going to matter depending on what you think about on what I'm going to say.
I'm scared because I don't believe. Because being alone is all I know. Because all I've learned to count on is me, and even then I fail myself on a daily basis. I won't lie or pretend. I never took the risk to let anyone else in completely. Family is supposed to be close. I have none anymore, I trusted them and they failed me. I trusted my friends who backstabbed me. I've come to learn real fast that people come and go, and I'm just a passing amusement. When all is said and done, I sit alone at the end of the day. I've never tried to get close, it never seemed worth it. What could some one else give, how in the world could anyone else understand me, I cant even understand myself...
Lets just say I could take that risk, take a blind leap of faith and try it. I'm scared of very few things, but it doesn't mean I run away from my fears.
But if I have the courage to try, which I think I might.
If I had the balls to do this, would it be done right.
I don't understand what you see in me, I'm just some nut case antisocial shit. I don't see what I could offer you, that someone or just about anyone else could do better. I don't see how I could do anything for you besides drag you down on my sinking ship? Could you endure me? Could you survive me?
Could you love me when I feel ugly? Could you stand me when my mood swings, and my temper flies? Would you just understand in my weak moments when I want nothing more to die? Could you forgive me for the nasty cutting things I say in moments of wreckless no-regret? Could you just shut up and be a shoulder to cry on when my heart breaks because the sky is blue and my feet are wet? Could you understand I don't want to go out and get drunk with shady friends? Could you forgive me in moments when I get scared and mean? Could you hold back on laughing at my insecurities. Would you take the time to teach me on how to do those stupid things that I missed out on, like the correct way to get that stupid fucking form filled out for the DMV? Would you hold my hand when I have to do those stupid things I feel really uncomfortable doing? Could you be brave enough for you and me? Could you forgive me for my ignorance. Would you take the time that would be needed for me to relearn on how to trust? Would you get fed up one day and break my heart? I have problems with letting things go; heartbreak and guilt I handle very poorly.
I know I have something inside me, something soft and sweet and very caring. A nurturing kind of craving that quietly wails to be fulfilled. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I know I could crack a smile and give my everything and lavish all my affection upon any random soul, but could I stand the vulnerability, the risk, the always bitter end outcome of being loved?
Do you really want to deal with emotional baggage with the size and shape of this? Or did I just drop my heart on soul on you for a drunken horny backhanded comment?
But to this explanation, I did owe it to you.
Sorry I couldn't say it to your face, but there's no way in hell I'm going to let you watch me cry over stupid shit, emotional shit. I respect you.
Oh, and fuck you if you think this was meant for you or that you understand...
Cheers, EC.
Current Song: Fade to Black - Metallica (don't you love the lyrics?)
And so the wraps up the day of Helios, November 16th. Adios
Current Mood: Tired and stuff
-Stayed up late, and slept in at Steve's... was late for school
-spent the last two nights at Steve's... I think he's ready to kill me, but it's all good
-Tomas and Ryannon showed up too
-I have a minor shiner at the moment... don't ask...
-Going to Variety night tomorrow, and a Jazz concert the day after. Hopefully is fun. Hopefully people will join us.
-Not really news, but Danchan's servers were being a bitch...
-I suddenly have like 15 more people on my list then I did a month ago... kind of weird with all these new people that are mostly friends of friends and stuff...
-I got Leahy's CD, so I'm extremely happy. Ignore the fact I look dead. Thanks Marie!
-Hell, like anyone reads this anyway asides from Steve, and the odd friend who pops in once in a while...
-My brain hurts. I think I'll just go to sleep now.
Current Song: Harvest - Opeth
And so this wraps up Thor's day, November 13th. Adios.
Current Mood: Smiling and Depressed
-Wow, so many people read the story I posted. It feels so special :'( *sniff*
-Stupid Chemistry. Been smelling bad all day. Gave me a headache.
-A happy day of birth wish to a friend o' mine, Alex.
-I feel as useless as a screaming butterfly...
Scream Of The Butterfly
a creature made of sunshine
her eyes were like the sky
rabbit howls like something old as we twitch to her lullaby
the scalpel shines in god's sunshine
street lights whisper pain
down here near the poison stream our god has gone insane
she smiles like a child with flowers in her hair
with blood on her hands into the sun she stares
she feels it die, I heard her cry
she smiles like a child with flowers in her hair
with blood on her hands into the sun she stares
she feels it die, I heard her cry
like the scream of the butterfly
sunshine a house in flames
she likes it where she gets it but it's never felt the same
surgery in the house of dissection
when your candle burns out I will resurrect you
she runs through fields of daisies
yeah it's just a shame that they eat their own babies
who cares cause the air is free
when you get there will you kiss the dead for me?
there's blood on the moon
and the summer is cold
there's love in the room
but baby that's gettin' old
there's blood on my face
sittin' on a dead shore
a highway of emptiness and I'm gettin' bored
there's blood on the moon
as we plan our escape
the goddess in bloom handcuffed and raped
there's blood in the bathtub, baby
murder the king
there's blood on the moon
there's blood on just about everything
sunshine a house in flames
she likes it where she gets it but it's never felt the same
surgery in the house of dissection
when your candle burns out I will resurrect you
she runs through fields of daisies
yeah it's just a shame that they eat their own babies
who cares cause the air is free
when you get there will you kiss the dead for me?
something cold is forced inside her
a tear spills down her cheek
stillborn songs of a dead dreamer,
hymns of the needle freak
with sunlight in her hair she smiles like she don't care
her dreams are liquid blue
I cut myself again and again to remind myself of you
she smiles like a child with flowers in her hair
with blood on her hands into the sun she stares
she feels it die,
I heard her cry
she smiles like a child with flowers in her hair
with blood on her hands into the sun she stares
she feels it die,
I heard her cry
like the scream of the butterfly
like the scream of the butterfly
Current Song: Take a frickin' guess
And so this wraps up Lunae Dies, November 10th. Adios
Current mood: whoop-dee-frickin'-doo *twirls finger*
-Okay, so I'm more or less stable now... let's hope it stays that way...
By: SilentShadow (NOT for skimming. Either read it or don't)
They called her mentally retarded- forever incapable of free thinking and imagination. Unable to live up to the expectations of her mother, who had use to want her. Her name was Abigail.
Her real bedroom was on the third floor- a fair sized room with a few new drawers and a small bed and walls painted with small white doves among vibrant vines. It was a bedroom her mother spent months working on in preparation of Abigail, and the bedroom that her mother hung herself in. Her mother was once an artist but her fingers where crippled with arthritis. Unable to paint she had hoped that her daughter would follow in her footsteps- Abigail was unable.
Abigail was now ten and slept on the ragged coach downstairs. However her father noted, somewhat eerily, that she loved her third-floor bedroom. There where times when he caught her in it- she was completely quiet and still- her pale green eyes unblinking. Other times it was as if she was trying to talk to the birds, her mouth moving yet soundless.
It was strange, thought the father, that though to room was unused that the furniture was so polished he could see the reflection of the wallpaper in it. Almost as if the doves and vines extended to everything inside the room.
Then something happened- it all started when someone left the window open. Her father was watching Abigail whose eyes where fixed upon the open window. A slow sad breeze filtered in the room and he heard his daughter gasp.
With the grace of the boundless moon, a bird swam in from the air to the sill. Abigail's father stared at the snow-laden bird, never before had he seen a bird around his house. He toyed with idea of shooing it away.
Instead Abigail's arms reached for it, and she grabbed in her tiny palms, squeezing harshly. Her father gaped at her in shock as she squeezed the bird tighter and tighter; the bird did not try to squirm out of her grasp but only stared at her. Then its body seemed to collapse on itself- its head rolled limply onto its frosted chest, and she released it.
"I want to fly away."
It was the only phrase that he heard Abigail say that actually made sense. It was also the very sentence his wife uttered before she died.
And in his own tragedy he wept. He took the bird, buried it in yard, and then drove away. Abigail was alone.
"It's always sad to see abandoned child," said the man, "I hope they can catch that sonuvabitch."
"I never thought I'd hear you say those kinds of words, Charles" a female officer said with a slightly surprised look on her pretty face.
"I save those words for these kind of people," Charles replied- feeling the urge to light a cigarette. He walked into the third-floor bedroom, which was surprisingly clean, and saw a small girl gazing mute out the window.
"So you say she hasn't moved?" He turned to the female officer.
"She barely breathed," she answered, "Why else would we call a psychiatrist?"
He motioned her out of the room before he made his way to the small fragile child, "Abigail?"
He touched her shoulder and almost pulled away- touching her felt like plunging into a bucket full of ice.
"Abigail, how do you feel?" he asked. Abigail stirred and began to mutter- as if she was trying to say something but couldn't. Her words where not directed at him either, instead she seemed to try to talk to the birds on the wall.
"Abigail can you understand me?" he asked a little louder but she ignore him. A flicker of movement out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention.
"The hell…?"
The birds seemed to peel themselves off the wall, testing their winds and flexing their pearly necks. Without warning they flew out of the window- some not even bothering to leave out of the window's opening and smashed into the glass. He watched it shatter and the shards fell silently to the ground below.
"I want to cry with the heavens."
Abigail's voice was unemotional as her face, her hands where stationary on her unwrinkled green dress. Charles did not know what to say.
Charles shifted in his seat looking over Abigail's legal papers.
"So tomorrow is your birthday," he asked Abigail on the love seat on the opposite of his office "You are going to be a big girl."
"Uh-" Abigail paused a moment then nodded excitably.
"What do you want?"
She kept on nodding.
Charles sighed and took off his glasses to rub his gray eyes, which where burning with exhaustion. There was something strange about Abigail, something about her made the birds fly off but he just couldn't figure out what it was.
Needing a break he opened his curtains and looked outside.
"It looks like its about to storm," he muttered absentmindedly staring at the dark clouds swirling with a heavy burden.
He watched it as it began to rain… but something wasn't right for some reason. He pressed his face so closely to the glass that his thin nose pressed upon it.
"It's glass," he muttered in amazement, "It's raining glass."
Sure enough shards of glass screamed from the sky and ran into the ground. He watched as pedestrians on the street dodged for cover- most of them unlucky.
Charles felt Abigail stand beside him smiling, not sadistically but innocently.
"You are doing this aren't you?"
She said nothing.
"Stop it," he said grabbing her shoulder forcing her to look into his eyes, "People are dying. Can't you see that?"
She didn't flinch and he knew she didn't comprehend him. He couldn't make her understand but he knew he had to stop her. He wrapped his arms around her neck.
"I'm sorry, but someone has to stop you."
He watched as her life faded away until finally she slumped down dead.
"I'm so sorry," he repeated through his tears over and over again. Outside the rain had stopped.
Two weeks went by and still outside the air was full of sorrow- yet almost hauntingly beautiful. The sidewalks where painted in red drops and the un-swept glass splintered the sunlight into a million dazzling colors. That, though, was poor consolation to the ones who had dead ones- especially Charles who now was residing in a prison.
He now stared at Abigail's father behind a glass window.
"Why did you leave her?" he said even before greetings. He wanted to get strait to the point and then never look at the man again.
"Because of my wife," the father said undaunted by the abruptness of Charle's words- he too didn't want to dawdle with meaningless words.
"The dead mother- Abigail reminded you of her?"
"No, because her mother was always with Abigail," he continued despite the confused look on Charle's face, "She loved Abigail too much to leave her."
Unsure of what to say he asked, "Do you know how you daughter was different?"
The father paused. "You mean besides she was mentally handicapped?"
"I think you know what I really mean."
A sigh escaped the aged man's dried lips, his face was tainted with tears not yet fallen.
"My wife loved Abigail… even though she killed herself because of her she loved her. She wanted to give Abigail the greatest gift she could. The ability to let her imagination free."
"What do you mean?"
"My wife gave Abigail the ability to let her dream become reality. My wife painted on a canvas- my daughter painted on the world."
Charles insides churned and he fell to his knees sobbing. He killed Abigail because she wanted to express her dreams.
Current Song: Misfits - Descending Angel
And so this wraps up Thor's Day, November 6th. Adios
Current mood: Hyper
-Don't you just love mood swings? They're driving me up the wall!
-I'm in a very good mood now.
-Just came back from Cancer Drive. Raised $209.04, the most of our team. w00t!
-Went with Regan, a very interesting person. Had lotsa fun
-Was pretty cold, without a coat or gloves or hat
-Woke up pretty early, at 5:00 a.m. after going to sleep at 1:30 a.m.
-Gotta love the snooze button, hit it about 20 times until I got up at 7:20 a.m.
-My throat hurts.
-Note to self: Never chug Hot chocolate while hot again...
-Both bands were good and fun
-Found out where we are going for our band trip; Montreal, just before May starts.
-Anyway, I must be off! I love you all!
Current Song: Mein Herz Brennt - Rammstein
And so this wraps up Odin's day, November 5th, 2003
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
They are making a Garfield movie
Steeev says:
sweeet, but you should be telling Janis, he's a bigger garfield fan...
Steeev says:
but sweeet!
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
told him
Steeev says:
nice
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
Bill Murray is doing the voice
Steeev says:
nice
Steeev says:
well i gtg
Steeev says:
sleep is needed
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
cya!
Steeev says:
hope you're feeling better...I'm assuming you are..or maybe you're just covering up more..or maybe you talked to carol or alex and got happy again..eithe r way..i hope you're happy
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
COVERING UP, YEAH!
Steeev says:
LOL..you're hilarious dude
Steeev says:
*touch*
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
my ears are bleeding
Steeev says:
ouch...why?
Steeev says:
heh
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
Music is at full... big dramatic music, like Star Wars type stuff playing...
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
It's times like these that my razor set look tempting...
Steeev says:
hmm..but music is more fun!
Steeev says:
plus think of all the beatings you';d get from alex if you did anythign again..
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
mah, next time I see her they'll have healed over
Steeev says:
hmm..that long huh?...that crappy craftsmanship too?
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
No, it's just I see her on average of once a month, so you know...
Steeev says:
ahh yes
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
Calm Like a Bomb
Steeev says:
RAGE!@!!!RAGE!!WHOOO! RAGE REFERENCE!!!
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
yay
Steeev says:
are..you..listening to it?...good song!..great song!..I LOVE THAT SONG!
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
it is. Yes. one of the few I have.
Steeev says:
GOOD BOY! *pats jesse on the head*
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
Do you know how emotionally disturbing it is when your own mother doesn't even recognize you?
Steeev says:
lol..no actually..I don't...that's still bothering you?
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
to an extent... I don't feel like myself anymore...
How did you feel when you cut off all your hair?
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
BALD!
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
no uhh..different
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
I felt like I wanted time to fly by so it could grow back because I wasn't pleased with my bald head and so many girls (mainly jenna and alex) were kinda pissed that I did it...
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
That's pretty much how I feel. I get a lot of compliments, but the few that don't like it... it's their opinions that hurt the most... It's as if I cut off my hair not by choice... I miss my hair
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
hmmm..I think, that no matter who's opinions count..yours should count the most...doesn't alex like your hair though now? so that means like, courtney and janis and I are more than...wow..or what?
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
My opinion is that I liked my old hair. Which is why when some people miss the hair, it makes it worse...
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
hmmmm..makes sense...i think you should do whatever you want..which seems to be grow your old hair back...which is cool
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
but after cutting off my hair, it's shown how many people like the way I look now.
Gah, it's just so confusing. I'm growing it back, but that also means I'll have to go through the ugly stage of half-long hair
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
meh...I liked that stage too, and remember that the opinions that count are your friends..and we like you no matter what (I wouldn't listen to alex on this one, she always makes comments about something...we love her for it,...but listening to her in this circumstance won't help)
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
meh, haven't even said anything to her yet about my hair.
It's best described as 'I don't know who I am, anymore'
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
hmm, yea...try to be the most comfortable with who you are by assuming a look that you're most comfy in...
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
or maybe I'm just being pissy because I want my old hair back...
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
hmm..true..I want your old hair back too!
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
i gtg
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
cya tomorrow in band...
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
cya, love ya
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.. says:
yup
Steeev - Why did I do it? I did it for you. says:
love you too
My ears are bleeding. Go Acid Bath.
It's times like these that my razor set look tempting...
I miss my hair...
Don't touch me...
Current Mood: Depressingly Irate. Cynical, even...
-Hurray for anonymous posters... So far, all I can think of from who I know, is either Alex, Alex, or Alex...
-I'll continue this later, when I wake up.
*5 hours later*
-Blargh... life sucks...
-Highlight of the day: Gay guy said I was blowjob worthy. o_O
Current Song: Foolin' - Def Leppard
And so this wraps up Tyr's day, November 4th. Adios
scratch being happy.
Sometimes, it's more a question of whether or not you want to be sad or happy. Getting there is easy, but sometimes, you just don't want to bother.
Does this mean I'm sad? Not really... More, well... ask me later... I'm too busy weeping for the world...
Current Mood: Happy
-*does a little jig*
-hee hee ha ha ho ho oh my...
-*coughs* ahem... yes... well
-I'm happy. Well, more ecstatic. But definitely happy. Any guesses?
-Anyways, Hallowe'en was fun. Went to a party. Was fun.
-Had the scariest costume ever! I dressed as a prep! Which meant cutting off my long hair and goatee...
-6 chem spares in 7 days, w00t!
-I really gotta stop debating in religious debates... I'm too offensive
Example:
From: Solafein Darkspear | Posted: 10/31/2003 4:53:06 PM | Message Detail
Intolerant perhaps. But I worship God, and those who worship Satan don't appeal to me.
Do you think it's my fault? I call them the scum of society because I've experienced them to be so.
The Wiccans at my school were very strange people with VERY odd beliefs. Not to mention their physical appearances are ALWAYS repulsive. Coincidence? I think not.
I went to a fair with some friends of mine, and they brought their gothic friends. I remained decent, and they didn't have their makeup and rings on any more, but their very conversation was so vulgar, so disgusting, that I was very uncomfortable around them. I realized afterward that I require more civilized company, and that they're alright people in their own way. But they need to get out of the gutter and try to be decent. They CHOOSE to be the scum of society. I didn't just label them as such. They supposedly "see the beauty" in things we can't, eh? So if I rape, torture, and kill somebody's mother because I think it's beautiful, that means I'm an enlightened, respectable, special person? No. It makes me scum.
They think killing and death is beautiful. It isn't. To think anything besides is disgusting. Their appearances, beliefs, and practices are uncivilized, lowly, and filthy. I pray they mend their ways and choose to extinguish the stink of their ways from the world. But they choose to be the scum of society, and that is what they are. It isn't my fault.
They have no class. Just because I need civilized company doesn't make me an intolerant redneck. What society needs less of is that filth walking around, grossing me out of my food, infecting the streets with their stink, and staring at me like I don't belong because I'm normal.
Don't hate me because I have class.
From: Zcynthr | Posted: 10/31/2003 7:03:23 PM | Message Detail
http://www.angelfire.com/la2/drkangl/WitchCraft.html
Just a little something one of my Wiccan friends gave me when I asked about her faith. It clears up a lot of misconceptions and the like.
From: Solafein Darkspear | Posted: 10/31/2003 7:19:38 PM | Message Detail
Poor, misguided soul. Everything in that STEAMS of devil worship. Of course Satan doesn't openly TELL them they're worshiping him, he fools them just like everyone else. He makes sin seem good an tempting, and fools people. If he openly told them he was Satan, they wouldn't worship him. But these "spirits" and "spells" do have effects they say. And since God would bestow none on them, this leaves one entity to empower them.
“An it harm none, do as thou wilt.,”
Do as thou wilt. Ahh, yes, Lucifer has used this since the dawn of time. It's written in everything he does, of COURSE it's the rule his followers would use.
Wonderful religion? Chin held high? They have nothing to be proud of. Nothing.
Do not be fooled, friends. Until you've researched both sides you cannot BEGIN to comprehend this mistake. Be careful in your dealings with them.
My response:
Of course, whatever you believe is just what the Devil wants you to believe. He wants you to believe that what you're doing is just, and will get you into Heaven. He's just tempting you with something everyone wants, Heaven in the afterlife. He's just subtle enough to not be outright evil, but if you look at the bible, you see many things that hint at the evilness within. Lack of freedom, tolerance of slavery, hatred of other races and religion, intolerance of new ideas... then you got the inquisition, and do-as-we-say-or-else policies ...of course, that's all good and justified now, is it? I mean, yours is the true religion, and every other one is just disguised satanism, is it?.
***I hope you realize that the above post is satirical/sarcasm, and like many political satires, can raise interesting points to those willing to read between the lines, and not get offended. It is not my wish to offend anyone, and I support people who are religious.
-Well... any thoughts?
Current Song: Rocket - Def Leppard
And so this wraps up dies Saturni, November 1st. Adios
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