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Black Rose Immortal

Latest posts below. 
 
I dragged this lake looking for corpses 
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards 
Pieces of planes and black box recorders 
Don't lie (don't lie) 
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses 
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences 
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect 
That has no alibi 
 
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven 
I watched flies fuck on channel 11 
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink 
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink 
And there's no ring, there's no ring on the phone anymore 
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor 
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry 
 
But at the right place at the right time 
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine 
I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit 
For anyone but me 
At the right place at the right time 
It will have been worth it to stand in line 
And you won't have to stop 
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me 
Your private eye 
 
I dragged this lake looking for corpses 
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards 
Pieces of planes and black box recorders 
Don't lie (don't lie) 
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses 
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences 
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect 
That has no alibi 
 
But at the right place at the right time 
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine 
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit 
For anyone but me 
And at the right place at the right time 
It will have been worth it to stand in line 
And you won't have to stop 
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me 
Your private eye 
Your private eye 
 
But at the right place at the right time 
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine 
You won't have to quit doing fucked up shit 
For anyone but me 
And at the right place at the right time 
It will have been worth it to stand in line 
And you won't have to stop 
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me 
Your private eye 
 
 
-Private Eye by Alkaline Trio

last modified Jun 14, 2006 at 1:46


Monday, October 18, 2004

*points gun to head*

Good bye

*pulls trigger*

125014 | posted by Edicius at 21:44 | 41 comments

I love you more, than I did the week before

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what’s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?”
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is…
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What’s going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don’t just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think?
They’re not masterminds.
“OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?”
“Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…”
“Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”

Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
“How’d you get through it grandpa?”
“Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I’ll sit at a drive thru.
I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
“You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.”

We’re in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date.
I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.


http://www.linkfilter.net/~affiliate19/laziboy_undies.mp3

Well, I'm out of here.

124942 | posted by Edicius at 12:40 | 6 comments

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Can't seem to keep things so perfectly straight...

You are a RPIT--Reserved Practical Intellectual Taker. This makes you a Love Geek.

Heh heh -- you love geek! You are weirdly sexy. It doesn't take people a long time to get to know you, but people *think* it takes a long time, because you are as cool and regulated after a year as you are on a first meeting. You don't tend to date casually -- you just suddenly find yourself in long term relationships.

Your approach to conflict is your greatest asset -- it complements almost every other type. You don't express yourself or your feelings in dramatic terms, but you will speak up to those who do. You are generally calm, but capable of ramping up, and you don't give up until the issue is resolved -- this means even the hottest temper or coolest conflict-avoider can feel comfortable pursuing their satisfaction with you. And you don't hold a grudge -- you get through it, and it's done. You rock.

Sure, you like the sex. And you communicate with your partner well, so you're good at it. But it's not something you would make jokes about or bring up in polite company (not that you don't appreciate that kind of humor). You're no prude, but that's just not your style.

You'd make an excellent parent.

You enjoy food and can be a ravenous eater. A good cook will get your attention quickly.

Of the 133795 people who have taken this quiz, 5.4 % are this type.

124822 | posted by Edicius at 11:28 | 2 comments

Saturday, October 16, 2004

You don't care that it haunts me.

i been denied all the best ultrasex
i been denied all the best ultrasex

i-i tried to consume just like a super faggot
i got some dude
how can y'all bring a muthafucka something so good
he couldn't say no
you nailed me hard
i love 'em when they don't give a motherfucking shit
i could've been someone instead of fallin flat upon my ass

dig me now fuck me later
and sing to the tune of faggot faggot faggot
ow- dig me now and fuck me later
and sing with the...

i been denied all the best ultrasex
i been denied all the best ultrasex

i-i could've been a star
it freaks me out when i sound just like my mom
i could've rocked the spot
instead of being just another faggot like i am
i played that shit straight
blowin' suckas on the side hopin' i get laid
now everybody knows
no way in hell i can ever live it down

dig me now fuck me later
and sing it to the tune of faggot faggot faggot
ow- dig me now fuck me later
and sing it with the...

i been denied all the best ultrasex
i been denied all the best ultrasex

i could of been someone instead of fallin flat upon my ass

dig me now fuck me later
and sing it to the tune of faggot faggot faggot
ow- dig me now fuck me later
sing it with the...

i been denied all the best ultrasex
i been denied all the best ultrasex

molest

faggot faggot faggot faggot
faggot faggot faggot faggot
faggot faggot faggot faggot


---

No, I'm not lamenting anything about sexuality, as the lyrics would suggest. I just love that song.

What? I can post lyrics without them meaning anything, can't I?

Hell, not like anyone would take the time to understand the hidden meanings anyways, but I don't blame them.

Anywho... Friday was spent at Ruckers for the most part, with a side trip to the Rainbow theater to see Little Black Book. Meh is all I'll say about that movie.

Cat ears suit me, evidently...

I left the place wearing a purple velvet blazer (ala Night at the Roxbury) that belongs to Colleen. I'll give it back to her Wednesday, I suppose.

Saturday, I spent downloading more music after sleeping in quite a bit. Went to geek it up with other people, again, as I now find myself doing every Saturday. "Like you do Brad's Mom every Saturday?"

Hehe... Good times. Well, aside from the fact I was by myself for 5 hours or so, as tends to happen with groups of people, but it was still fun. Rachel, as it turns out, isn't a prostitute... "Not like Brad's Mom!"

Heh...

And so it looks like tomorrow will be spent working on homework, or playing games. Oh well, c'est la vie. I need to vacuum my room too.

Still need to get over my anti-socialnessisms.

How typical of my dad to lecture about getting a level 1 in one class, ignoring the level 4 in the others... nevermind the the fact that I already had all assignments handed in too, just unmarked...

I'm getting a headache just thinking about all the work I'll be doing after school this week, oy...

124768 | posted by Edicius at 22:33 | 2 comments

Thursday, October 14, 2004

There's a ghost under my bed, in my head, almost dead

He was a cowboy, Mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much that he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later at the funeral when the priest said "dust to dust," some people laughed. And the cowboy shot them. Later at his hanging the cowboy said "I'll see you in heaven... with a gun."

Short period day. Got a ride home from Karl, woo. He = teh secksay. (sorry)

History test was more equivalent to a history exam. Not normally so bad, except that since it was a short period day... yeah, not enough time to finish. Come time the bell rang, no one was finished. The dropouts just left right away, since it was last period. And, just to illustrate my history class a bit; half the students left. Yes, my class is that stupid. Hell, the freaking debate we had the other day made me want to stab a fork in my eye. Repeatedly. The teacher agreed with that suggestion.

Other than that, well, my day was normal. Yesterday was more of a shitty day though. Forgetting my music especially. >_<

Was chased around Lo-Ellen several times by several different people for several different reasons. And I blacked out. Woo. Go me.

I hated being in Nursall's pants too. Getting into them was the hardest part. There wasn't enough room for a hand to move around in, which is a requirement for my own pants. Not for reasons you might be thinking of (you dirty loser) but because I like having room down there for comfort reasons. Female pants don't normally have that extra room.

Er, nevermind, I'll just stop talking now...

My cat is jumping up and down on a baseball right now. He so cute. But it's making me tired. I'm going to lie down for a while. I'm also a little antisocial today too. Dunno why.

124485 | posted by Edicius at 13:08 | 6 comments

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Huh... go figure...

There's an addictive substance on the lips called Sebum... explains a little bit, like why people are so ready to jump on each other. It's a drug, I tells ya... The sharing of it bonds people in chemical ways. The things you learn randomly...

Anywho, NSA tonight. Hurrah. No, I'm serious. I'm just lackluster due to lack of sleep.

I'm my own worst enemy, and best friend. Shall I elaborate? I don't think so.

Stupid Rachel...

Got my Hallowe'en costume idea picked out. Can't wait to pull it off... *giggles like a braindead schoolgirl... yeah, that one particular kind of giggling... you know what I'm talking about*

And the days just blur as they go by...





If I were a Springer-Verlag Graduate Text in Mathematics, I would be W.B.R. Lickorish's An Introduction to Knot Theory.

I am an introduction to mathematical Knot Theory; the theory of knots and links of simple closed curves in three-dimensional space. I consist of a selection of topics which graduate students have found to be a successful introduction to the field. Three distinct techniques are employed; Geometric Topology Manoeuvres, Combinatorics, and Algebraic Topology.

Which Springer GTM would you be?
The Springer GTM
Test

124335 | posted by Edicius at 13:43 | 1 comments

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

One is the loneliest number

I'm really disappointed not only in the lack of comments on my life, but also on the fact that I'm not really invited to anything anymore... (as evidenced earlier today)

It's not that I ask for comments, it's just depressing to know that no one cares. Well, scratch that, I know people say they care, but they really don't. It seems that the more depressing my post is, the more people comment. That is, if they even read it, really...

Enough of that, it's not important.

I'm enjoying some really low self-esteem right now. I'd love it if people could join me in feeling bad about themselves.

In other news, I got a haircut. I still think I look like a pineapple, and a cross between Dave Navarro and present-day James Hetfield, (with the glasses)

Um... locked out of my account again at school... I suppose I have to explain to R. Cole why I have games on my network space...I tried a handful of different people's log-in names, and finally got in. This means taking a late for an already old assignment, but I'll live.

3 more assignments given today, all due Friday. One in History. 2 in Chemistry. Fun. Also, got a Level 4 in Bio and History, and a level 1 in Chem, but that was not including the previous assignments I handed in today, so it's a little higher now, probably a 2. My mark in Chem and Bio this time last year was below 50, so it's all good.

Nobody loves me.

I'm pathetic...

Is there anybody out there? Does anybody care?

124170 | posted by Edicius at 18:46 | 9 comments

Monday, October 11, 2004

There's a place where everyone can't be happy...

Update; have added approximately 300 more songs to my collection; mainly Bad Religion, with a scattering of songs by many other bands, namely; The Kinison, *Green Day, AFI, *Bright Eyes, The Fall of Troy, *Rammstein, Himsa, The Bled, Ensiferum, The Blood Brothers, With Hidden Noise, Story of the Year, The Used, Thursday, *Pixies, *Three Days Grace, Strung Out, *Smashing Pumpkins, Slick Shoes, Silverchair, Saves the Day, Quo Vadis, Oi Polloi, NOFX, *Misfits, Minus the Bear, Lost Prophets, *In Flames, Hot Hot Heat, *Children of Bodom, Guano Apes, Further Seems Forever, Finlay, Dropkick Murphies, *Dream Evil, *Velvet Underground, *Cradle of Filth, Coheed and Cambria, *Billy Joel, *Bif Naked, Black Winter, Bad Religion, Arch Enemy, Antiflag, *Jack Off Jill, and MDFMK.

*The asterisks denote bands I already have songs of.

Secondly, I managed to hitch up my pants and finish 4 and a half assignments. They were already overdue, but I finished them. Tomorrow I have two more to do, and then study for my History test, and then the next day I have two more still. Two more big ones due next Monday. This doesn't include assignments I may still receive during the week. Oy...

Rammstein has released their new album in Europe. I'd die to get my hands on it... I have to wait until mid-November to get it though...

I have a hundred quarters to get rid of. I hate change machines. You think putting in a $20 bill would at least get you one loonie or toonie... but nooo...

Also, forgot to mention that the giving of blood was successful. Kevin passed out. I managed to survive. I'll be doing it as often as possible now. Which means... December. *deposits mental note*

It seems I've found out what my Hallowe'en costume is now, I think... Will it top last years? We'll see...

Wow, I'm in a good mood... That's surprising considering the current health of my grandfather. I should be sad. He'll pull through though... He's a strong guy...

Oh crap, more stuff I must do too I was just reminded of... Need to talk to Danny, and then must look through 30 articles, edit, and format them... hurrah...

Anywho, off to burn a new CD, and then to attempt sleep which won't come for hours.

Tomorrow should be... interesting...

124014 | posted by Edicius at 21:27 | 1 comments

I says Lukey the blinds are down, me wife is dead and she's underground...

Lukey's Boat is painted green, it's the prettiest boat that you've ever seen. Love that song.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a lonely old fool. Or at least I feel like one sometimes. I just miss the feeling of having someone to think about, someone who could make me smile just by thinking about them. God knows I could use a smile every now and again... I've never really been lucky in matters of the heart, which makes me depressed, being the romantic I am... What also makes me depressed is the perversion of love, but that's a whole different subject.

So, in other words, I'm probably just like every other person in the world.

I really should be getting my homework done. Off I go.

123931 | posted by Edicius at 12:00 | 0 comments

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Bop it. Spin it. Twist it. Twist it. Twist it. Bop it. Flick it. Spin it. Spin it. Pull it.

My score? 206. Only took me two and a half hours with nothing else to do but play Bop it... That game is addicting... (and I won't even mention how the title can be twisted...)

Saw Spiderman 2 again the other day. Still one of my favourite movies, heh.

Can't seem to sign on to messenger for some reason... as if it was working earlier...

...And then it signs me in, but no one's online. Yay.

Anyways, not much else has been going on (or off) in my life this past little while, really. Finally moved into my new room. Yeah, it's taken me this long, considering all the free time I have. Too many books, and odds and ends and stuff...

I've actually been doing a bit of homework here and there. Shhh! Don't tell anyone.

>_>

Yeah, happy Thanksgiving to all. Or Spanksgiving, whichever one you celebrate.

Mmm... Pina Coladas...

123815 | posted by Edicius at 21:01 | 3 comments

123762 | posted by Edicius at 13:07 | 0 comments

Friday, October 8, 2004

I know what I am...

I'm a pretender.

My God, it fits so well...

123622 | posted by Edicius at 20:13 | 1 comments

Thursday, October 7, 2004

You must answer me, these questions three...

If this isn't me, then please, tell me who I am... I need to know...

123531 | posted by Edicius at 19:53 | 0 comments

Alone in the dark, searching for light...

Hail to thee, Oh force of will
For awakening minds!
There for me from earliest days
Made this tale so mine

Storm...you almighty, earth, seas and flames
Here I am standing
Bare in my honesty
Calm in the moonshine
Starlight rests my eyes
Pain wakes me conscious
Truth guides my mind

Shine in my heart... strange colours embracing me
I'm not alone in a way
Wrath in my depths brings me to see I'm a warrior soul

Tortured minds... like a cloud they swarm around me
If I said my soul is screaming - would you beleive in me!
Secret cry... hear the souls there howling, howling
While their salvation is so near

Deep inside it's always my time
All around it's only a world no one owns
Deep in heart it's always my time
Grief is nothing life should be
Never bend for misery!
Always standing
Always searching
Always free

Will is the power!

Strayed spirits before me, I see flames still burning
Hearts wounded, transformed
Yet not into grey, cold stones

Innocent days, life full of breath
That is the time I am crying for
Fly free again through virgind lands
That is the life I will fight for to regain

Turn around! All the founts you'll find behind you
If I said my heart is burning - would you believe in me!
Years flow by, still you drown is caustic memories
Embrace the best and face old grief

Deep inside it's always my time
All around it's only a world no one owns
Deep in heart it's always my time
Searching for a true relief
Finding life will be your first
Last one'll be your death

Cry of a restless soul

Hunting breeze of wasted bliss I am
For me and you I will catch it
In the dusk of banished mist you'll hear a waning moan

Cry of a restless soul


God, I'm ever so sick today...

I'm such a loser.

I fight myself constantly. There are two dominant personalities in me. Neither one wins for long.

Why is it that I am depressed in life? Is it because I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing? It's possible... but I don't know what it is that I'm supposed to be doing...

Hmm... this post is almost exactly like the previous 20 or so posts I've made... wow... talk about originality...

I talk about myself too much.

123492 | posted by Edicius at 11:25 | 1 comments

Wednesday, October 6, 2004

Who would trade his karma for my kingdom? The fire in my soul rejects my wisdom...

Quote of the day: "Memory is the most potent truth. Show me history untouched by memories and you show me lies. Show me lies not based on memories and you show me the worst lies of all."
- Carlos Eire

It's kind of sad to me that some of the most beautiful words I've ever read have been from someone whose head and heart I messed with pretty severely. Actually, on three instances, three people... all have such amazing writing abilities, such stunning prose and poetry...

...sometimes, I feel like a very destructive muse.

I also can feel my friends changing in ways I don't like. I guess this is all part of growing up... Realizing that you're not an entirely good person, realizing your friends are not as great as you think, realizing that everything is nothing, in the end. But... I don't know. I want to be something.
-thefreefall (found while randomly browsing websites)

Those words could easily have come out of my own mouth... keyboard, whatever... The point is, I mess around with people's heads too much, especially those whom I care for. And I do it too often. I do it without thought these days. It's making me into an asshole.

On top of that, I'm too much of a perfectionist, and too judgemental. (Thank God I'm smart enough to not voice those opinions or act on them.) So that's how the second part could have ended up being said by myself. I judge those I would consider friends. Almost always for the negative. I have high ideals, morals, principles, convictions, standards etc... But by contrast, I'm forgiving enough to never let that bother me when I'm around them. Only in rare cases have I shown disgust, one in particular being Amanda. I still consider her a friend though. One of my better ones, surprisingly, though I don't talk with her much. Just because I don't approve of how she lives her life doesn't mean I have to ruin a friendship because of that. It may cause friction sometimes... but all kinds of friendships/relationships have differing amounts of friction. But whatever, I'm just rambling now. I can't concentrate today... it's set to "No thinkey" thanks to lack of classes.

123318 | posted by Edicius at 14:34 | 1 comments

Because...

"And the problem is that usually the time when that person needs the most help, is the time when they dont want your help..." Raine's right. I don't want your help. I say fuck you, people!

from bradbomb's blog.

Huh, go figure... one class all day, and it's a work period... I should've stayed in bed.

I'm so glad that there was technical difficulties with the national anthem playing... I didn't want to stand... I have trouble focusing, let alone standing in one spot for a minute... might faint... guh...

Rachel is looking for me. I'm off to find her. She's in class, but that doesn't stop me.

Weird ass dream last night... moreso than usual... stupid couches...

123287 | posted by Edicius at 6:56 | 2 comments

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

I feel institutionalized. (And I'm on the street...)

Wow, lesbians are depressing...

I finally decided what I'm going into after high school, should by some miracle I survive until then. I'm not telling anyone though.

*groans* Tomorrow I have to wake up very very early to go the police place thingy... and that also means I have to miss NSA. I've been looking forward to it all week. It's the ONLY thing keeping me sane, and even then just barely...

I don't think I spent more than a handful of minutes in class yesterday... total... Shouldn't have even went to school.

Donating blood Friday. Unless it turns out I really am Anemic, in which case I can't. It's also followed by a test in Chemistry Friday, which, in turn, is followed by a history presentation. So, if I do give blood, I'm screwed the rest of the day. I can just see myself passing out on my desk in Chem class...

Tomorrow is going to suck. (That's a given though)

"Any particular reason why it will suck, other than the usual?"

BECAUSE!

I think Swetha hates me...

123161 | posted by Edicius at 15:38 | 3 comments

Monday, October 4, 2004

Piano man

That song is sooo stuck in my head right now... my mind is really really slow today too.

Much needed Historic spare, woo! Skipped out of Chem as well. So only class today is Bio-rific... rific... yeah

Should go to Sudbury Star after school. Should. Would. Could.
Then, it's off to... somewheres...
>_>
<_<

Stole a sweater. White. Belongs to Regan. 3/3 so far.

Weekend = hopefully fun and busyful!

I go now

123035 | posted by Edicius at 10:57 | 0 comments

Sunday, October 3, 2004

Can I kill myself? Please?



Arcana.

Anywho, maybe it's time I updated this seriously for once.

Updates on:

School;
-not bad... it turns out that my current depression is actually making it hard to do homework... well, that and my being bored. Again, I must bring up my giftedness, and proclaim it a handicap. I already understand this stuff. I can't bring myself to do the work though... maybe I don't deserve to go to University after all...
-Interim reports come out soon. I expect a straight B average except for History class. That one is a wild card.
-I find myself hating lunches and the periods between classes. And the classes themselves, but that goes without saying. In fact, I just want out. Out of Lockerby, life, everything.. god... I've been skipping classes, going back to the old me... whatever that means...

Life;
-so, I'm now hanging around a new group of geeks on the weekends from now on. Sucked me into making an RP character. (think D&D) So I'm becoming more of the geek that I already am. Fucking A...
-Um... still suicidal, yes...
-ignore me, please. It'll pass eventually. It always does, doesn't it?
-that's actually pretty much it.

Home;
-Landscaping the back yard. Fun.
-Andre moved out, so I'm finally getting the room I was supposed to. The room comes complete with a coffee table, 40-inch TV, queen size bed (which was well used by it's previous occupants...) and a couch. Yeah, it's more of a living room than a bedroom. I think I could shut myself in there satisfactorally...
-Had to put down the dog. That was very, very sad...
-Kitten gets cuter every day
-My life at home consists of the computer, and the PS2. I sleep earlier each day now too so as to get enough sleep.

in my mind;
-Still hate everyone... everything... myself...
-Still want to kill myself quite badly...
-Still cry myself to sleep every second night
-Still cut myself to sleep every other night
-Still pushing people away, including those aforementioned new people I met

Ergo, nothing is new, is it?

122917 | posted by Edicius at 17:57 | 6 comments

krakow studios. go.

With the upcoming presidential debate, I'm sure many Americans are looking forward to seeing George W. Bush's downright surreal extemporaneus speaking style versus John Kerry's robotic anti-charisma, if only for the comedic value. But as a Canadian, I only fear apprehension. For every 4 years, not only does America choose a new president, but the millions of Americans who vow to move to Canada should the candidate they dislike lose emigrate north in an exodus of biblical proportions. In fact, after the 2000 election, over 6 million Americans crossed the border within two months. Of course we welcome the integration of new Canadians (we're too polite to say no) but this causes a large number of logistical problems.

Firstly, even left-leaning Americans can have a hard time adjusting to communist Canada. Liberals have heard only rumours of the wonders of Canadian healthcare, and are often quite shocked when cheap prescription drugs rain from the sky. Up here, not only does the government pay for you to have your appendix removed, it's mandatory.

Secondly even with government subsidies, it's difficult for newly landed families to purchase a car with the steering wheel on the right side so that they can drive on Canadian roads. This problem is only compounded by the need to purchase a snowmobile for the winter months. Canadian winters are extremly harsh, and last from February through to August due to the coriolis effect.

But perhaps the greatest challenge for Americans is adjusting to the metric system. Instead of having the speed limit posted in miles per hour, we use kilometeres. And instead of weighing ourselves in pounds, we use Jigiwatts. Metric Christmas falls on February 17th.

After the last election, Canada wasn't able to fully recover from the massive influx of Americans for nearly two years. In fact, we even had to cancel the holiest of all Canadian holidays, Boxing Day. It's true that American immigrants who disliked the election results have always been a cornerstone of Canadian society, dating back to the victory of Rutherford B. Hayes in 1877. But this November, I urge Americans to please, please consider staying in the United States even if the candidate you hate wins. I'm afraid our greatest ever prime minister, PJ Phil, would spin in his grave if we missed another Boxing Day.


I'd just like to state that PJ Phil was the coolest guy ever.

122909 | posted by Edicius at 16:17 | 1 comments

Karma

I am a king of honor
gold and glory
but every king must also die
have I been just and righteous
what is glory
I know I've torn and taken life
and here I stand
a small and simple man

who will trade his karma for my kingdom
a sacrificial rite to render truth
the fire in my soul rejects my wisdom
cause all you do in life comes back to you

I am a king in crisis
counting minutes
there is an ending to my reign
my sins have come to face me
I can feel it
that I have lived my life in vain
and now I know I'll reap
the seeds I've sown

who will trade his karma for my kingdom
a sacrificial rite to render truth
the fire in my soul rejects my wisdom
cause all you do in life comes back to you

am I mad
I feel so void and cold
who can tell
who holds the stories untold
tired and trembling
I am descending
will I have to stay here
and live this life again


Good song, that. Will hopefully have a picture up above to replace the old one, assuming my image server is working...

Yeah, this is one update that is just riddled with content, just like the last... (One word is worth a thousand more words in this case)

122900 | posted by Edicius at 12:39 | 0 comments

Saturday, October 2, 2004

NO!

122864 | posted by Edicius at 21:59 | 4 comments