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Black Rose Immortal
Latest posts below.
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there's no ring, there's no ring on the phone anymore
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
At the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
Your private eye
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
You won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
-Private Eye by Alkaline Trio
last modified Jun 14, 2006 at 1:46
I got the Powerslave CD! If you don't know what band that is, then I should shoot you for your ignorance...
I also got a gaming magazine, Deus Ex, $20 worth of junk food, and headphones. Go me... maybe I should save some money so I can have something to eat in Montreal... besides sugar candy. (Does wonders for my Anemia, eh?)
Speaking of which, I have an announcement to make to all of you who may or may not already know this...
I have Anemia... *thumbs up*
Is it serious? Probably not... scheduled to see a doctor when I get back. Wish me the best of luck. Hopefully I get to die for once...
I am god
the only one
I will bring back
freedom to your heart
you won't believe
that blind can see
no one else before me ever knew
the way to paradise
for another bloody crime
I shall return
I am your light on through the night
why am I born?
will I fail to rise again?
another crucifixion for
another holy war
can't stop what's going on
sooner or later you must understand
my words bring freedom
and rescue for man
what else,
to call me your Messiah
oh, I wish there could be another way
cross and nails are already prepared
my sell out
waits till I'm crucified
I will die before my vision ends
Wait for the dawn
to take me away
what will be if I fail
another golden calve
never, never ending
pain and agony
hit me, nail me make me god
Thoughts?
Things to do when you're bored:
1) Go through your picture library inverting all the colours. (if they don't show up, right click on it and select 'Show picture')
2) Post lyrics that no one may understand (but no one cares anyways,) while simultaneously missing your girlfriend;
it was not posed
it messed me up
it was her recording herself whisper
what’s it worth to me
thinking one thought
the advice to be OK
break into children’s hospital crying out
don’t fuck with me
ch-
and i broke up
without a note
and i broke up
behind your house
and i broke up
it sss a mess
go go go go away from here
food color poured out over her shorts mixed with
i will make a gate you cannot pass
taped to their loin cloth
a sign that says WHY US!
flip yourself off but say erase it
if someone sees you
this is the worst vacation ever
i am going to cut open your forehead
with a roofing shingle
3)Countdown the days until she returns: 64 days
4) Go play video games instead of doing homework.
5) Eventually, get around to last minute packing for a four day trip at the last second.
6) Put off homework until it's no longer allowed to be handed in.
7) Draw little hearts and cherubims on your arms with permanent marker whilst writing; 'I miss you Regan' underneath them. (and the obligatory red line on the wrist)
8) Sit at a computer and type all this shit up as you eat popcorn and pizza, listening to music, wishing there was something else to do that isn't on that list that I haven't already done... besides homework...
Hold your ground, hold your ground. Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day. This day we fight! For all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!
The neverending battle...
Guess who is an RIAA informer?
...yet another forward telling me what I am like based on my day of birth. Here we go...
Suave and compromising.
Can't disagree. Compromising is usually the best way to go.
Careful, cautious and organized.
Tell me about it... I like to be prepared for everything and anything.
Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize.
Yes, unfortunately. I point out people's mistakes and criticize a little too often.
Stubborn.
Aye. Though it contradicts itself when it said 'compromising' earlier... o_O
Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic.
I'll agree to that. I'm always quiet, and diplomatic as well, though not always.
Concerned and detailed.
Yup.
Loyal but not always honest.
The only time I'm not honest is when it is of grave importance, or I've already sworn to not tell, or when they know I'm joking. But loyal? Yeah.
Does work well.
Depends.
Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous.
I wouldn't have called myself confident a couple months ago. Nowadays, definitely. I've always been sensitive, and very generous.
Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information.
I've told Steve and Janis before, the more I know, the better I function. I'm always interested in learning... except when it's forced. Oh, and I do have a good memory. Mister 'never-studies-but-still-does-great' right here...
Must control oneself when criticizing.
Sensible advice for anyone to take.
Able to motivate oneself.
True, along with controlling myself when the need arises.
Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive.
Understanding? Definitely. Fun to be around? Not really. Secretive? Uh... I guess so... *shrugs*
Loves sports, leisure and traveling.
Sports are fun. Leisure is fun. Traveling is fun.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings.
Dead on. Sad Jesse looks the same as Happy Jesse.
Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
Probably my perfectionist tendencies for how that applies to me. Systematic? Somewhat... not really though...
And that's that... Yeah, I'm almost the stereotypical Virgo, 'cepts I'm lazy. Not that I buy any of that stuff, but it's always interesting to read. Not closing myself off to it, per se...
a ghost is all that's left
of everything we swore we never would forget
we tried to bleed the sickness
but we drained our hearts instead
we are the dead
Yeah, I'm in a philosophical mood. Unfortunately, these days I can only debate with myself on things... which is fine by me since I'll probably never find anyone as intelligent as myself. :P
Denethor: Is there a captain left with the courage to do his lord's will?
Faramir: What would you have me do?
Denethor: I will not yield the river and the Pellenor unfought. Nor abandon the defenses which your brother held so long. Osgiliath must be retaken.
Faramir: My lord, Osgiliath is overrun.
Denethor: Much must be risked in war.
Faramir: You wish now our places had been exchanged? That I had died and Boromir had lived?
Denethor: Yes. I wish that.
Faramir: Since you have been robbed of Boromir, I shall do what I can in his stead. If I should return, think better of me, father.
Denethor: That will depend on the manner of your return.
*turns and leaves*
Because the sun can't shine everyday
Meant to post more yesterday. Kinda had to go to Co-op. What I hadn't mentioned was that I was doing the 30-hour famine yesterday. I didn't get any sleep last night, so now I'm doubly fucked over for today... I already fell asleep in the music room for 1st period (spare) and had more pancakes than was healthy for me this morning, (thus, the nickname Pancake Jesse.)
All that's left is 3 hours of co-op, then I can go home and SLEEP!
I'm not feeling so good, ya?
"The President will be a hero. He brought peace."
"But there was never a war."
"All the greater accomplishment."
One for the pain and two for my name
three for my wonderful kingdom
Four for my king, five for my queen
Six for the fall of my wisdom...
Earth's calling me!
VITA, MORTE, GLORIA, ONORE...
Airin, Arwald, Tharos in my painful dreams
Horror and death crossing my way
paint all the unreal landscape
Villages burn, the black fire runs...
runs through the heart of the forest...
killing my trees!
VITA, MORTE, GLORIA, ONORE...
Spazio e tempo play the rhymes of human lies!
ALGALORD'S CALLING FOR HOLY REVENGE
THE RAGE OF THE HEROES IN MY HANDS
THE FURY WILL RISE AND SOON
THEY WILL TASTE MY SILVER BLADE
AND THEY WILL FACE THE PROPHECY
'CAUSE AGONY IS... MY NAME!
Black is the rose that's now in my hand
black for the blood of the fallen
symbol of death will soon be reborn
into the life of my tears' fall...
reborn and grow!
VITA, MORTE, GLORIA, ONORE...
Silent cries of children in my painful dreams
ALGALORD'S CALLING FOR HOLY REVENGE
THE RAGE OF THE HEROES IN MY HANDS
THE FURY WILL RISE AND SOON
THEY WILL TASTE MY SILVER BLADE
AND THEY WILL FACE THE PROPHECY
'CAUSE AGONY IS... MY NAME!
Quantus tremor est futurus,
quando judex est venturus...
quantus tremor est futurus,
...est venturus!
VITA, MORTE, GLORIA, ONORE...
Spazio e tempo play the rhymes of human lies!
ALGALORD'S CALLING FOR HOLY REVENGE
THE RAGE OF THE HEROES IN MY HANDS
THE FURY WILL RISE AND SOON
THEY WILL TASTE MY SILVER BLADE
AND THEY WILL FACE THE PROPHECY
'CAUSE AGONY IS... MY NAME!
*withdraws into shell*
Leave me alone or I'll bite your hand off...
Just need some time by myself...
How quaint that there are stormclouds on the horizon this day..
Aus der Bohne und in das Licht
ein Wesen mich zu gehen drängt
für die selbe Sache und das alte Leid
meine Tränen mit Gelächter fängt
und auf der Matte fault ein junger Leib
wo das Schicksal seine Puppen lenkt
für die selbe Sache und das alte Leid
weiß ich endlich hier wird nichts verschenkt
Janis, this is not because of you, no matter how coincidental it seems...
So tired... just got home from work... I swear, I never want to be a janitor when I grow up. I'm surprised they aren't the ones snapping and shooting everyone... stupid little kids...
Tried shrimp today... My thoughts? What thoughts?
Still miss you Regan...
Nie mehr das alte Leid
"Perhaps friendship is merely an emotional weakness similar to love, but then of course love isn't a weakness but the desperate need for it is. Maybe friendship is a risk or a gamble one takes in life. After all few friendships last forever and when a friend is lost he or she is merely replaced like a new toy by another friend. Cycles like these are often seen when a person moves or loses a loved one. How do you know the person is actually your friend or not? Most "bestfriends" usually end up with one person not viewing the other as a friend but rather an attractive person he or she is unable to share his/her emotions with, using friendship as the most possibly closes way of getting to that person or being near them. Its said that if a friend gives up on another he/she was never his/her friend to begin with... that’s when hurt feelings occur but in truth the person who merely wanted or seek a friend in the first place is the one to blame. It seems to me that friendship is just a need for one to constantly have someone to share his/her emotion with... whether they are sorrow, happiness or laughter. Friends also seem to make people think irrationally. If a friend knows he/she maybe wrong yet continues he/she expects his friend to follow even though he/she is wrong. For example: Bob is going to steal something from someone and ask his friend Joe to join him. Joe knows that what Bob is doing is wrong so he disagrees to assist Bob. Bob foolishly expects Joe to help him simply because they were friends.
You see a friend seems to always expect the other to agree with him/her even if they are wrong. People seem to depend so heavily on friendship that they believe it stands above all logic or everything else. That is why even if a group of friends makes fun of someone which is wrong... by them doing so they are bringing their own friendship closer and stronger. So not only is it an error but it is so overrated and put above everything else that even friendship can grow at the expense of others without a single care. That tells me that the true purpose of friendship is to spread ones emotions while using apathy to better themselves or their errors. Thus friendship is as bad as it good and is likely little more then a human psychological correction process.
It's annoying when people think love and friendships are these magical things that are supposed to be perfect and cure you of anything that is depressing and make you feel better."
And now that I've lost most of you...
I start my job tomorrow... Kill me now...
I also have homework to do tomorrow... lots of it...
*checks watch... or lack thereof*
73 days...
Is it possible to spend 10 hours playing one game with nary a rest to be found? In my case, yes... sadly... Minus the spring cleaning, and 2 hour job of re-organizing my music folder.
I miss my cat... it ran away... or someone stole it... or it got ran over... *sniff*
http://www.pureesoiree.be/Post/?P_ID=3689
I'm sorry I couldn't grace you all with my presence today...
300~ songs downloaded the other night. Almost all were power metal. Here's a list of the bands;
Agent Steel
Manticora
Dream Evil
Sonata Arctica
Kamelota
Dragonforce
Nemesis
Gamma ray
Hammerfall
stratovarius
axenstar
at vance
Lost horizon
helloween
devil doll
nightwish
Aesma Daeva
Therion
Blind Guardian
rage
persuader
Wuthering heights
falconer
battlelore
Iced Earth
manowar
rhapsody
zyklon
And so on... averaging 10 songs per band... not even halfway through listening to them all.
I promised her I wouldn't get too depressed, and that each day I would not be any more depressed than the before, so that I either get happier, or at the least, no worse. That'll be a challenge...
Kinda sad how my life would seem so empty without her...
Am I giving into my depression so easily? Do I want to resort to depression because it's so familiar to me? It would be so easy to do just that... and I suppose that's why I have to avoid it. I'm unfamiliar with the concept of trying to be happy... normally I just take my moods as they come unless they are fighting each other...
It is going to be a challenge...
74 days left... and she hasn't even left the country yet... oh fie...
Wow, is it Tuesday already? When did that happen? Shit...
Note to self: Try to do big Easter dinner dishes right away, and not two days after when everything has become etched into the cookware... And not only that, we're left with leftovers for several days... mmm, tryptophan sandwiches...
I rather stupidly lost something today that will undoubtedly have at least 4 people castrating me for losing...
Man, those videos today were the absolute shit in jocularities... Both Darien and Steve made those movies... not literally of course... Anyways, if Janis remembers, he'll be putting up some pretty funny pictures on his blog soon enough...
I use way too many of these ellipses... <--- (see!)
I went on a downloading spree yesterday on downloading Power Metal. That's right, 20 bands about, and at least 5 from each. The only ones I can name off the top of me head are Rhapsody, Manowar, Zyklon, Axenstar, Hammerfall, Blind Guardian... and depending on if you can stretch the genre; Iron Maiden and Iced Earth
Which is funny, because I'm listening to Iron Maiden right now. The Clairvoyant to be specific. Visions of the Beast to follow, while eating Ice Cream. It's a custom now for me to eat Ice Cream at Steve's house...
$110 pair of shoes, I bought for $25. Nice eh? Same place as I got my last ones too, and those were for free. I'll bring the money Thursday.
I have homework to do, not surprisingly...
And I want to go to brainville...
The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through...
Yeah, that song fits my mood right now. Other than that, I'm feeling pretty good right now. I stumbled for a bit, but I'm fine now. Seriously...
That having been said, enjoy this freaky picture of me in inverted colours.
Sometimes, I wish I could just snap my fingers and make everything right again...
Oh well... depression, I have returned to your ever-open arms again... You have been my only friend for the longest time, and the one who knows me the best. I think I love you, my precious depression... You're always there to comfort me and make my sadness become less of a hell...
Why?
Ok, fuck it... it's leaning towards bad...
Still, it's been a while hasn't it? I take it as a sign that I'm hopefully improving...
Hopefully...
People were wondering why I was distant and stuff at the party tonight. Well, moreso than usual.
To put it vaguely... I feel more alone than usual...
But really, what else is new?
Alone at night
I feel so strange
I need to find
All the answers to my dreams
When I sleep at night
I hear the cries
What does this mean?
I shut the door and traveled to another home
I met an older man, he seemed to be alone
I felt that I could trust him
He talked to me that night;
"Lad did you know a girl was murdered here?"
"This fatal tragedy was talked about for years"
Victoria's gone forever
Only memories remain
She passed away
She was so young
Without love
Without truth
There can be no turning back
Without faith
Without hope
There can be no peace of mind
As the night went on
I started to find my way
I learned about a tragedy
A mystery still today
I tried to get more answers
But he said, "You're on your own."
Then he turned away and left me
As I stand there all alone
He said, "You'll know the truth
As your future days unfold"
Without love
Without truth
There can be no turning back
Without faith
Without hope
There can be no peace of mind
Hypnotherapist:
"Now it is time to see how you died. Remember that death is not the end, but only a transition."
Your Inner Dragon is the most honorable of all. Golds are the third rarest of all the dragons (after Platinum and Chromatic dragons) and have a station in society that reflects their rarity. You are what one might call a Draconic Knight. Golds live by a strict code of chivalry and commitment. Remember Draco? Yep, Gold Dragon. Your appearance is fearsome and all-mighty but you'd never stoop so low as to bring any harm to a human. As a matter of fact, that's strictly contrary to your code of conduct. You're one of only two dragon types that is aligned "Lawful Good" and is proficient in the use of magic and spells. If you're curious, the other is Platinum, the King of the Dragons. Your piety, beauty, wisdom, and inner strength are absolutely without parallel.
But of course, being a Gold Dragon isn't all high ethics and codes. You like to fly around scaring things, advise humans in their affairs, and shapeshift. Strike that, you LOVE to shapeshift. And you're great at it. In fact, if you're a Gold on the inside, you might be a Gold on the outside, too - just in human form. Your favorable attributes are honor, chivalry, truth, kindness, gold, mining, protection, wisdom, bravery, and trustworthiness. You might be a bit too trusting of humans at times, but they're just kids compared to you. If anyone threatens your humans or tries to kill you, you could strike back with your breath weapon - Fire. But then, no one's tried anything that stupid in the last couple thousand years. After all, you're about 54 feet long.
Apparently you can beat a bloody mass of pulp that was once a horse... those things are really ****ing resilient...
Love you, Regan
Yeah, this is the final version of my haircut. Looks alright in that one... I look like, pie...
So uh... going to Marie's tomorrow... should be fun. Wish me luck.
Well, not often anyways...
"I know your destiny. You may ask me any one question, and I will answer it for you."
"Who are you?"
*grins*
And so people call me the cheshire cat...
You've been playing this game of life for too long. Don't you have anything better to do?
Math is stupid. Let me show you why; The classic .9~=1 argument. Does it or does it not?
Given that .9~ is the closest possible number to 1:
Let x equal the absolute value of the difference between .9~ and 1.
x must then be either positive or 0.
If x is positive, x/2 must also be positive, and less than x.
Thus, .9~ + (x/2) is a real number, and is greater than .9~, and less than 1.
But this shows that .9~ is not the closest possible number to 1, violating the first line of the proof.
Thus, x cannot be positive.
Thus, x is 0.
Thus, the difference between .9~ and 1 is 0.
Thus, .9~ = 1
again, Math is stupid...
Alright, enough of that.
People may have been noticing this now, and I think Steve would agree with me best on this, but I realize that I am becoming more assertive lately. According to the handouts I got today, Assertive is better than a Passive doormat (common for young people) or an Agressive ass (common for old people)
So apparently I'm in the mystical, wonderful world between a rock and a hard place. While at times, I may sway from on to the other, back and forth, it seems that it's becoming more stabilized.
I also realized that I am becoming more confident in myself, taking initiative, and actually doing work. Most importantly of all, I'm happy.
And so I chose this song to describe myself currently;
Jesse: The Boxer by Garfunkel and Simon. Though really, Leahy's Call to Dance takes the crown...
Regan: Well, this one may just be the sterotypic mushy song, so sue me. It fits. The song is Only You, by John Lennon
Steve: Well, I could easily pick any Audioslave, RATM, or Soundgarden song, but I think you'll understand why I chose this one. ;) A Change of Seasons, by Dream Theater
Janis: Almost too easy to pick Misfits, but anything less would be an insult... hm... Dig Up Her Bones. (Well who didn't see that one coming, eh?)
Marie: Damn you, and Rachel too. :P One Tin Soldier
Lex: Well, BNL came to mind first, but Tsunami Bomb came to mind second... 20 going on...
Courtney: I'm sorry, I think this one fits rather nicely Cursive - May Flowers
Darien: Must... Not... Say... Mario theme... Okay then, how about that song by Billy Talent - The Ex
Ryannon: Aside from the emo stuff you like, I chose Kittie. It was tough choosing between Paperdoll (I have the metal version not on the CD, if you want it) or Safe
Kyla: Uh, while we're not close friends anyway, I randomly chose: Rilo Kiley - Plane Crash in C
Biff: Well now, AC/DC or Great Big Sea? The eternal question...Back in Black, you newfie
Jordan: Despite the fact they have done a LOT of songs, (and because I wouldn't dare put in the jeopardy theme) here's Chumbawumba's Tubthumping
Mike (Dezzy): Weezer, no question... only question is now... Buddy Holly (we sing it together pretty well, did we?) (This song works well for Regan too... among others)
Adric: Blame your dad for this one. ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man. (Freaky! It just started playing... this is the second time it happened)
Amanda: Anything by Sean Paul. 'Nuff said. :P
Swetha: Er... that song... that was played at the christmas party for the bands... No Doubt...
Anyways, this took me a while. Some names are omitted, because A) I have to go, and B) I didn't include anyone I haven't talked to in the past week or two, otherwise I'd have to include all my old friends (Dave, Kipton, Mike, Shane, Rick, et al...)
Wish me luck at the dinner table. Who knows, I may just end up with a supper reciting Hamlet's soliloquy (or vice versa)
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."
Today is 04/04/04 (try to guess which is which)
Today, Regan came over.
Today, I went to her hockey game.
Today was a good day.
So anyways, yesterday was boring. Did lots of cleaning. The day before I went to Regan's. It was such a nice day outside. I almost fell asleep at the bus stop... We spent the day being outside at Adanac and walking around. Was fun.
I was doing that thing with the song that I said I would do for everyone. First person on the list was myself. Crap, I said... Where to start? And I don't want to just put a cheap instrumental either. (Not that instrumentals are cheap, mind you)
I realized that I've become pretty much out of the loop at the school. I'm so happy. No more stupid little problems of people trailing me from every corner. Co-op has been a really enlightening experience. People suck, and will suck, no matter what. The problems in high school that everyone bitch about all seem like small potatoes. Gotta love teens.
I got only two words to say: April fool's.
Lame? I know... especially considering I'll do it anyways... just not yet...
I'm at Steve's right now... all alone... Hmm...
*grins evilly*
Oh, and I got to see a doctor remove an eye today... 'twas interesting. (Bad pun not intended)
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