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Black Rose Immortal
Latest posts below.
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there's no ring, there's no ring on the phone anymore
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
At the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
Your private eye
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
You won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
-Private Eye by Alkaline Trio
last modified Jun 14, 2006 at 1:46
Why? Because it's a continuation from the little discussion earlier.
Worrying about the crash turns out to be a mistake, in retrospect. I never worry about anything, but I worried about that. It's funny. In worrying about it, I dwelled on it, and in doing so, became more susceptible to it. It came and went, but not in the style I was normally accustomed to. *points to last Thursday's post*
Marie, you're a bitch, but I still love you. Please, try to grow up a little... I hate getting irritated at people, and you manage to do it like no other. I don't know why either.
Regan and Kyla, you don't really piss me off specifically, like I said earlier. Just Lockerby in general. Sorry to all of you.
My grandfather passed away. I'm going to miss him.
Apparently, my dad is thinking about moving back in with us, now that my mom and her boyfriend are no longer having sex. That would be a nightmare. I could just imagine him lecturing me, judging me, asking me questions I wouldn't care to answer... In my mind, I see myself yelling at him to stay the fuck out of my life, because he's never been a part of it.
It's funny, because I lay awake at 6 in the morning last night, thinking that sometimes life can be wonderful, even after the shitty week I had been having. I feel like shit right now, and I'm trying to hold on to that feeling I was incubating last night. Not doing a great job though. I didn't get to make it to that concert earlier today. Staying up practically all night wasn't a great idea either.
I have a lot of things to think about. It seems I'm never in shortage of such things...
Bold = True
Italics = Somewhat true
Regular font = Not true
001. I miss somebody right now. It's kinda on and off, but for the most part, not really.
002. I watch more TV than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own lots of books.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games. Only Adric rivals my veracity at games sometimes.
008. I've tried marijuana.
009. I've watched porn movies.
010. I have been in a threesome. (I've been invited to one, but declined. o_O)
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I believe honesty is the best policy.
013. I have acne free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. Considering I'm no longer depressed and stuff
017. I have a hobby. Several
018. I've been told I have a nice butt. Except I wear jeans which don't really show it off, so it's a moot point
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. Mr. Hastie took my two razors on Monday.
020. I'm smart. And modest to boot
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. (I'm not ashamed of anything I've done.)
023. I love rain.
024. I'm paranoid
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi. (Haven't tried it)
028. I talk really, really fast. (not at all)
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair. (At the moment, yeah)
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the Canada
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way that I look. *picks Narcissus flower*
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic. Hardly these days, though people confuse my blunt realism with pessimism.
042. I have mood swings. Hah. Not so much these days, but I could go from one end of the spectrum to the other. *remembers Grade 11 Music banquet*
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I think that I'm popular.
049. I am currently single. (as opposed to double? I mean, really...)
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex. (and more...)
051. I enjoy talking on the phone. (not at all)
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my girlfriend!
058. I don't hate anyone. Depends on your definiton. I may get irritated at some people *coughMariecough* but that's about it. Thankfully it doesn't last long.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer.
060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before. Could you really classify my relationship with Marie or Regan as real?
068. I've rejected someone before. No explanation necessary.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before. Explaining to the cops that I wasn't molested was fun.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything. Mushrooms...
077. I have a lot to learn. Technically, everyone does
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex. I'm always shy
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have tried alcohol before.
084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
085. I own the "SOUTH PARK" movie.
086. I have avoided assignments to be on Danchan or Livejournal. Who does assignments anymore?
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbour or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.
089: I love my best friends
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist. No, no, and yes.
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. It's awesome, period.
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody you have never met.
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't. (Made it a point to avoid that sort of thing... doing well so far)
103. I play a musical instrument. (More like it plays me)
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest things ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "Lost."
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up. (Not at all)
112. I am an entirely different person around different people. Ever heard of the Worlds theory?
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often. Smiling doesn't solve problems, but it does make life more pleasant
114. I think ramen is the best kind of food in the whole world.
115. I am suffering of a broken heart. (what heart?)
116. I am a nerd. (geek, their cousins)
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely. You get used to it
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I don't change who I am for someone else.
120. My heart resides below my feet. 6 feet below the ground, to be mildly poetic
121. I am a Senior in High School. 2nd time in a row
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have gastritis.
124. I have nothing better to do with my time.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now. *puts on Radiohead*
126. Most people call me by my middle name.
127. I once stole a music stand. Well, the bottom half of it...
128. Pi confuses me.
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own over 200 CDs
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have once had mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor. Definitely
134. I'm only wearing underwear.
135. I had more than one Thanksgiving dinner this year.
136. I've drove to a different state to see a band I like.
137. I am the most overanalytical person I know.
138. I believe in wasting time.
139. I don't listen to much music. Capitalize the M's, and you got me
140. I have a shoe fetish.
141. My favorite holiday isn't Christmas.
142. I prefer weeks off of work instead of days here and there.
143. I love sex
144. I wanna go home. (I am home)
145. I don’t know what I would do without my friends.
146. Christmas threw up in my dorm room and I love it.
147. Friends is one of my favorite TV shows.
148. I'm hungry.
149. I'm watching the weather channel at the moment.
150. I Hate My Life. What life?
151. I Hate My Parents! What parents?
152: I'm realizing now that people are hypocritical and very fake. Learned this particular lesson of life a long, long time ago...
153. I absolutely love the O.C
154. I'm a dreamer.
155. I've met a member of a boy band.
156. I have broken a bone in another state.
157. I hate my teachers!!! Nah
158. I tend to want what I can't have, and when I can have it realize I don't deserve it. Also, fate likes to tease me.
159. Watch 23 overs of TV straight ever..
160. I hate blog quizes. If quizes are quizical...
It appears that having a bad luck day (and just downright shitty day) isn't limited by the 24 hour clock. Instead, it seems to be dominated by sleep cycles. Else that, Or I'm just having one of the worst couple of days of my life ever. Ugh.
Stupid fucking Lockerby. How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...
-Not knowing that exams are no longer half days on the first day, so I came to school expecting classes (after missing the previous two days) only to have a day of fucking shit all. I can't even leave if I wanted, because I have tutoring after school which is really close by. (In essence, I'd be paying $4.50 just to go home for an hour or two.)
-Trying to be friendly towards people still doesn't work, apparently. Some people are just inherently rude...
-Certain fucking people piss me off. Notably Marie, Regan, Courtney, Kyla, et al. (I mean really Marie, are you so fucking selfish that you couldn't lend me the sax for one fucking weekend? Are you so adamant towards being a bitch that you wouldn't even hear me out? I hadn't even touched the sax in more than a month. I needed it for the Tsunami Aid Benefit concert on Sunday, but now they'll have to make do without me. I hope this makes you feel real good on the inside.)
-All the fucking drama and pissing and moaning and whining is still going on, and worse then ever. I admit I had a little hope that people had matured at least a little bit in the months since I've talked to people, but apparently not. I just can't fucking stand it here.
-Some of the teachers (especially Lesk and the secretaries) that are just so fucking rude to you, and have the balls to do it to you with a smile on their face.
-All the cool people have left. God, I miss them...
-And because it's school, I could go on for hours about how you don't really learn anything useful, and how you have to be a tool to show good marks, and where uniqueness and thinking outside of the box is frowned upon, yadda yadda yadda... Nothing you haven't heard coming from an angsty teenager's mouth before.
No offense of course to some people, like Biff and Lex and Kevin and them... (if I didn't say your name, safely assume you're somewhere between the two polar opposites)
Bad mojo aside, I've been doing pretty good lately. That is, when I'm not at Lockerby where I'm surrounded by idiots. (Thankfully I haven't been at Lockerby much, missing an average of 2-3 days a week. Seriously.)
Opening credits: Nirvana - Rape Me
Waking up: Guano Apes - Open Your Eyes
Average day: Joe Walsh - Life's Been Good To Me So Far
First date: Joan Jett - Crimson and Clover
Falling in love: Jack Off Jill's cover of Love Song
Love scene: Barenaked Ladies - Wrap Your Arms Around Me
Fight scene: Children of Bodom - Triple Corpse Hammerblow/Slayer - Payback
Breaking up: Goodbye - SR-71
Getting back together: CKY - Attached At The Hip
Secret love: Poison - Alice Cooper
Life's okay: Yo La Tengo - The Summer
Mental breakdown: Xiu Xiu - I broke up
Driving: Liquid Tension Experiment - Acid Rain
Learning a lesson: Metallica - The Struggle Within
Deep thought: Sunny Day Real Estate - Pheurton Skeurto
Flashback: Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun
Partying: Sweet - Ballroom Blitz
Happy dance: Misfits - Dig Up Her Bones
Regretting: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Otherside
Long night alone: Godspeed You Black Emperor! - Static
Death scene: One Fine Day - Opera Babes
Closing credits: Iced Earth - 1776
God damnit, I don't want to be happy anymore... The hell is wrong with me?
INFP
"The Healers"
Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving
INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world and are seen as reticent and even shy. Although they demonstrate a cool reserve toward others, inside they are anything but distant. They have a capacity of caring which is not always found in other types. They care deeply - indeed passionately - about a few special persons or a cause. One word that captures this type is idealistic. At times, this characteristic leaves them feeling isolated.
INFPs have a profound sense of honour derived from internal values. The INFP is the Prince or Princess of mythology, the King's Champion, Defender of the Faith, and guardian of the castle. Sir Galahad and Joan of Arc are male and female prototypes of an INFP. To understand INFPs their cause must be understood, for they are willing to make unusual sacrifices for someone or something believed in.
INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities.
INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--her own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit.
INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.
Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response.
INFPs seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect. They often have a subtle tragic motif running through their lives, but others seldom detect this inner minor key. The deep commitment of INFPs to the positive and the good causes them to be alert to the negative and the evil, which can take the form of a fascination with the profane. Thus INFPs may live in a paradox, drawn toward purity and unity but looking over the shoulder toward the sullied and desecrated. When INFPs believe that they have yielded to an impure temptation, the may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. The atonement, however, is within the INFP who doe not feel to be compelled to make public the issue.
Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., performance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale, Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.
As mates, INFPs have a deep commitment to their pledges. They like to live in harmony and may go to great lengths to avoid constant conflict. They are sensitive to the feelings of others and enjoy pleasing those they care for. They may find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person. At times, in fact, INFPs may seem fearful of exuberant attainment, afraid that current advances may have to be paid for with later sacrifices. The devil is sure to get his due if the INFP experiences too freely of success, or beauty, or health, or wealth, or knowledge. And thus, INFPs guard against giving way to relaxing in the happiness of mating. They may have difficulty in expressing affection directly, but communicate interest and affection indirectly.
For INFPs, their home is their castle. As parents, they are fierce in protection of home and family and are devoted to the welfare of family members. They have a strong capacity for devotion, sympathy, and adaptability in their relationships, and thus are easy to live with. They are loyal to their family and, although they may dream of greener pastures, if they stray into these pastures, they soon locate the nettles. The almost preconscious conviction that pleasure must be paid for with pain can cause a sense of uneasiness in the family system of an INFP, who may transmit an air of being ever-vigilant against invasion. In the routine rituals of daily living, INFPs tend to be compliant and may even prefer having decisions made on their behalf - until their value system is violated! Then INFPs dig in their heels and will not budge from ideals. Life with an INFP will go gently along for long periods, until an ideal is struck and violated. Then an INFP will resist and insist.
Famous INFPs:
Homer
Mary, mother of Jesus
St. John, the beloved disciple
William Shakespeare, bard of Avon
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Scott Bakula
Neil Diamond
"Mister" Fred Rogers
Lisa Kudrow
Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes - fictional)
Less than 1% of the population are INFP's.
Apparently sticking a knife in one's ear isn't the best way to unplug it, but on the bright side, I discovered a previously unknown cavity in my ear. (I mean really, what else can you do at 5 in the morning going on your 27th consecutive waking hour?)
It's not technically an all-nighter this night, but I'll have been awake since 2 a.m., so it's all good. I'm working on it.
6 and counting... 4 in the past 5 days.
Make that five now...
Fourth all nighter in two weeks. This can't be good.
Fainting after dancing, going on 3 hours of sleep, and I hadn't consumed anything but pop in the previous 24 hours -> Fun
Pulling an all nighter (3rd in two weeks) while dominating at Risk and beating it 3 times in a row, playing Blackjack and Asshole as well -> Awesome
Managing to stay awake for 14 more hours after that watching the entire LotR Extended Edition DVD's with people -> Tiring
Owning people at Super Smash Bros. Melee regardless of how tired I was after that -> priceless
Now having to figure out how to fit 5 days of homework into 1 day before school starts -> Fun
Happy Fucking New Year. I'm keeping my resolution to myself.
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