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Black Rose Immortal
Latest posts below.
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there's no ring, there's no ring on the phone anymore
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
At the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
Your private eye
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
You won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
-Private Eye by Alkaline Trio
last modified Jun 14, 2006 at 1:46
Quitting NSA. Wednesdays from now on are free, aside from scholasticism. (Ha)
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Learned last night why I never knew much about my Aunt, in particular. (It's a given I know nothing about my family, anyways.) She's a typical crack head, and my mom hasn't spoken to her since the time my Aunt blamed her for not helping her pay off her debts to a Coke dealer which lead to her being knifed in the face and such. That was three years ago... -_-
I swear to you I don't make this stuff up.
This was overheard in a conversation between my mom and her friend. My mom was discussing going out West alone to meet her mom and brother whom she hasn't seen in 10 years.
Not looking forward to Sunday... hair cut, and dinner with Stepdad. I'm not good with family relations, especially my stepdad. He scares me somewhat still. Years of physical and mental abuse do kind of leave a small imprint in your head...
I decided tonight how I would die if/when I decide to kill myself. That was... well... won't say, actually.
First nightmare I ever had? Well, it was me attempting to sleep at my old house on Minto street across from the arena. (Now demolished.) It was dark. I'd toss and turn, but I'd just hear scritching and scratching noises. They were driving me crazy. There was no moon. That was particularly memorable. Eventually, I couldn't take the scratching noises any longer, and I called to my parents for help. They opened the door to my room, light from the hallway illuminating my room, and identifying the source of the scratching. Bugs. Thousands of bugs. The walls were covered head to toe in bugs. The windows were covered in bugs. My bed was covered in bugs. Crawling, biting, creepy little insects. I pleaded for them to do something about it. My stepdad booted the walls a few times, dropping many of them to the floor. It wasn't particularly successful... he then said that he can't really do anything. Just go back to sleep and they'll be gone in the morning. They then left the room, and the bugs started crawling over me. I scrambled up the ladder of the bunk to the upper bunk where my older brother lay. He would help me. Except that when I got up there, he was covered head to toe in bugs. He was dead. I screamed. I screamed, and fell backwards off the top bunk into the mess of bugs below. That's when I woke up. I had fallen out of bed.
*emotes a long frustrated yell*
Depression still present. (Hoo boy, is it ever...)
Maybe not the worst day of my life, but definitely a contender for the title.
...damn I'm feeling shitty...
What goes around, comes around...
Lost all my music on my computer. 3 gigs of music... *sighs*
It was always music that cheered me up when I was down, mainly by playing depressing music.
Funny, because now I'm more depressed than I've been since... last summer, really. Back then I had a reason to be depressed. Now, I'm just feeling extra shitty again. Not enough to feel suicidal yet, but at the rate it's going, it doesn't look like it'll take much to put me there.
I just want to be alone...
(Yes, she knows where I got that from...)
Talking to someone the other night made me realize a small pet peeve of mine; People who meddle in other people's relationships.
I'm talking about people who try to force two people together, thinking they could use 'help'. They do this because they want the selfish gratification thinking they helped two people to become happy, that they had a part in a friend's grand destiny.
Fuck off.
I can barely stand people talking gossip about a couple getting together, let alone pressuring something into happening. It causes more problems than it solves, especially down the road.
I have several people in my mind as I type this, and because I'm short on time I can't go fully into detail. Just wanted to get this off my chest. And besides, less than a handful of you would even gather what I'm referring to. (TC is part of it, in case you were wondering.)
If you find yourself wanting a couple to be together, and they seem interested in each other... do them a favour. LEAVE THEM ALONE! Don't build it up, don't force them together awkwardly, don't make it into something it's not. Let it progress naturally. If it works out, great. If not, maybe it wasn't meant to be, who knows...
Okay, narrowing it down... I hate meddlers. But that's whole other rant.
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