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Black Rose Immortal
Latest posts below.
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there's no ring, there's no ring on the phone anymore
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
At the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie (don't lie)
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
Your private eye
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
You won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye
-Private Eye by Alkaline Trio
last modified Jun 14, 2006 at 1:46
Well, 50/50 chance I don't get my credits. Then it's a 30/70 chance against that I can take summer school, and from there a 50/50 chance that I'll still be allowed to attend Cambrian, with a 75% chance I'd get to keep my OSAP funding. Apparently there are online courses I can breeze through in a couple weeks... but dunno if they count towards college.
Yeah, things don't look so good.
If all else fails...
Oh right, I also need a job. Time to look at the Job Bank.
As usual, I'm feeling rather shitty. This time it's pretty exclusively people though, rather than the mish-mash of things conspiring against me.
I try to be friends with people, because I try to be a nice person. Granted I don't even bother trying half the time, but still... it's irritating when other people don't give a crap, or just act like asses. Yes, I am aware of the hypocrisy in that paragraph.
I think I was right when I was speaking with Adric that it seems that the only people that seem to even attempt being good friends are people born in 1986, the year of the Tiger where they try their best to be true-blue friends. Granted there are a few exceptions, like always, but as a general rule of thumb, it seems to hold up.
I can name these exceptions, but suffice to say that out of all the people I know, the people that weren't born in 1986 that make good friends I can count on my fingers of my one hand.
I'm not biased enough to just say that the main reason is because these people grew up at the same rate, went through the same experiences at the same time, growing up with them... it's not that. At least, it's not that significant. It never meant much to me, and I don't rely on bringing up good memories from the past to bring a smile. (Those kinds of things tend to have people feeling left out.)
Or maybe it's just the fact that the people I seem to hang around with a lot more these days are assholes. Or the problem lies within me. Seeing as I'm feeling more bitter than shitty today, I'll go with the former for now.
...or I could stop holding people to unreasonably high standards.
Now, I should go deal with this blood running down my leg.
Why is that I can control most aspects of my body, accepting those that I cannot... Why is it, that this one thing I can't seem to change? Will it ever change?
I've thought about it a lot. Even if I work at it, I don't think I can change what is so deeply rooted in my mind without uprooting a lot of my precious topsoil and the accompanying forest of wisdom that comes with it.
Granted nothing is ever perfect... but do I strive for the ideal, and sacrifice what I've earned to get there?
Better yet, do I even want to?
Once again changed the song at the top. New favourite Bad Religion song.
Music banquet was fun. Not much else to say.
It's a wonderful world, alright. Oh, yes...
The question is where do I go from here?
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