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It's all mine...
Acid Bath
New Corpse
The pagan flames burn through the night
Everything's mine
Blackness my whore I bleed the light
Everything's mine
I know my time is coming soon
Everything's mine
Miles of bone lay on the ground
It's all mine
In remembrance of warmth would you shit on me?
I am the new corpse paling beneath the shade tree
You can't give me what I need
Picking at scabs with ambition to bleed
You're mine
The war machine moves forward lifeless
Everything's mine
We feed larvae with the blood of our martyrs
Everything's mine
We burn the flames of the funeral carnival
Everything's mine
I am death walking up in a coffin
It's all mine
I eat the eyes and pray to see
the emptiness inside of me
I eat the brain and pray to know
anarchy of fallen angels
I want to be the enemy
The hero is dead
I put the newest hole in his head
I want to be the enemy
The hero is dead
I put the newest hole in his head
Bleed for me, we were born dead
I want to be the enemy
The hero is dead
I put the newest hole in his head
I want to be the enemy
The hero is dead
I put the newest hole in his head
Bleed for me, we were born dead,
dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead
Falling chunks of flesh
Ejaculating sickness
Everything's mine
Shit lord, scum God swallow me whole
Everything's mine
I am death waking up in a coffin
Everything's mine
Your new corpse is beauty
Dying on the inside
It's all mine...
Mine.
When you think about it, how much of everything belongs to me? I don't the fact that I'd 'manipulative' and 'controlling' and shit, but... actually, it pretty much is what I'm talking about... Do I subconsciously manipulate people for my own ends?
So far 3 people think so...
My brain hurts.
Some people probably think half the shit I put on this weblog is for attention, and rightfully so. If I saw this stuff on another blog, my thoughts wouldn't be far from theirs. I never put down anything here that wasn't true to me. Yes, I'm suicidal. Have been for a long time. There was a time last year when I wasn't. I miss those days, but they're gone. I don't live in the past, constantly regretting things I could have done differently, or not done at all.
Life goes on.
...
*runs hands through hair*
sigh...
Fuck, I'm a shit-for-brains...
Of course we all are at points, people will say.
I'm getting closer to analyzing why I'm so depressed all the time. I'm a perfectionist. If something's not perfect, I try to fix it. But there are things beyond my control to fix which I must deal with. Then I must decide why I get to decide what is perfect and what isn't? Who gave me that authority?
Thus I rarely actively try to be perfect. However, I at least try to be perfect myself. Problem is, I fail constantly. Maybe because the definition of perfection changes.
..And fuck the person who comments: "Nobody's perfect" or something like that. It's all subconscious.
If it's subconscious though, what can I do to change it then? Or why should I in the first place?
*goes off to stare into the distance for a while*
last modified Jan 13, 2004 at 15:48
Told you...
-_-
Remember, your majesty, that Pobody's Nerfect.
Yes, yes you do. And you know what Jesse? I've been working real hard to prevent you from doing that to me anymore... :P
Isn't it ironic how those who aim for perfection stare into the unknown and imperfect. Distance is space, space is a jumble of junk all combined to make nothing. Junk and nothingness are far from perfect. Or are they? For to be perfect in all ways lacks in beauty, and beauty itself must be considered when judging perfection. A flaw must be present. Take into consideration a world without annoying, bratty children - who at their age are of course imperfect in knowledge - would you ever feel your heart warm to their smile?
I've lost my train of thought... Dammit...
*hugs*
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