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Figures...
There goes my good mood... Knew it was too good to last.
So I'm walking upstairs, finished on the computer and that, tired and on my way to go to sleep, when my mom comes up to me with tears in her eyes. My little brother is sitting at the table, his eyes slightly red.
She tells me something that happened to my younger brother, and inside I felt something snap. My big brother instincts suddenly jump to the surface, but made no ripples in my expression. Of course, I showed no emotion. She even said, "Are you understanding just how serious this is?"
If my older brother were here, he'd be pissed off, ready to kill something if he knew. (Our stepdad probably won't be much better) I guess my mom was expecting to at least show some reaction... I didn't want to let my emotions take a hold of me though... Too many of them racing through my mind, anger and sadness vying for prominence. Instead, I shut the door to them, and continue feeling emotionless, expressionless.
It hurts me more than my mom would think, because the same thing happened to me when I was younger, and I sure as hell didn't want any of my younger brothers to go through it, God... Unlike my brother though, I didn't tell anyone though... Small chance this could have been avoided if I did, so they could have known about it better... but I have no regrets.
Just... fuck...
last modified Jan 24, 2004 at 23:16
It stopped me from putting a hole in the wall, and scaring my younger brother. He doesn't like seeing me angry. It would have made him feel much worse. Getting angry would have accomplished nothing at that point in time and likely made things worse.
It's funny... he didn't even think he was doing anything wrong...
*sigh*
Now we're just waiting for the cops...
and so the circle continues... people are stupid, and life can be a bitch. You make the most of it that you can, and kick it back in the ass sometimes. I'm not going to start on suppressing emotions, we all know how much good that does. <sarcasm>
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