HogueThe10th's weblog

I've Moved! 
 
Read my new blog at www.davidhogue.wordpress.com

last modified Oct 26, 2007 at 11:24

Friday, October 26, 2007

Moved

Danchan has served me well these past few years, but I need something more user-friendly. You can now find me at:

www.davidhogue.wordpress.com

160271 | posted by HogueThe10th at 11:21 | 0 Speak Friend and Enter

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Say No To Mr. Drugs

We had a motivational speaker at school yesterday, and so I dutifully made my way toward the auditorium during activity period to help supervise the event, but first, I made a quick stop by the bathroom to kick out a group of students hiding there in a vain attempt to skip out on the forum. I can't say that I particularly blame the students. After all, practically everyone finds the prospect of listening to a motivational speaker ironically un-motivating. Once I arrived at the auditorium, I quietly took a seat in the very back and opened one of my Latin textbooks to read. Might as well not waste time, I thought.

The speaker was a former Viking football player (they always are), and he was talking about how to make good decisions. Trying to follow his train of thought, however, was no doubt as difficult as trying to tackle the guy when he was on the gridiron. For every point he was making there was a story about his kids, which in turn was followed by some roll-playing from volunteers from the audience. Did I say volunteers? I meant recruits. And some of the roll-playing was, in my opinion, inappropriate. He called one girl to the front and proceeded to create a hypothetical situation in which he was a teacher making an inuendo about how she could make up her grade after school. Pretty uncomfortable. He then called two teachers up to the front to illustrate a point he was making on gender stereotypes. I sure am glad that I wasn't standing up in the back, I thought, as I sat in the shadows. He could have summoned me to the front.

Perhaps you can guess what happened next? That's right. Ol' eagle eyes spotted me sitting in the back like a quarterback spots his wide receiver, going long. "You there in the back," he said. Shock, annoyance, and anxiety flooded my face. I took a look behind me, hoping that he meant someone else, but he kindly assured me that he meant me. I grudgingly surrendered and made my way up the aisle to the front, where two other teacher victims were also heading. Thankfully, the little skit we were drafted into wasn't complete torture. The other male teacher was Mr. Alcohol, the female teacher was Girl At Party, and I was Mr. Drugs. What did I have to offer her? asked Viking motivational speaker. Why, I could show her new places, I replied. Prettty witty, if I do say so myself. The kids got a laugh out of that. Roll her a joint, said Mr. Football. I don't know how to roll a joint. I mean, I've seen it done in the movies, but those scenes weren't playing in my mind at that particular moment. I rubbed my thumb against my index finger and then, realizing how stupid that looked, rubbed my finger in the palm of my hand and handed the other teacher an imaginary joint.

Guess what my new nickname is, by the way. Mr. Drugs. I explained to my students yesterday and today that the only drug for me is Latin. They laughed, but some offered to teach me how to properly roll a joint. At least I'm not alone in this. I'm sure Mr. Alcohol has a new nickname, too.

160172 | posted by HogueThe10th at 13:15 | 3 Speak Friend and Enter