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two months later..
I hate this. I can't be with someone who wants to be with me because I'm still hung up over you.
Its gay how one person always struggles with something like this, and I hate how in this case, its me.
Two months later. and still...I can't help it.
I hate it, and I wish it would just go away - but its not. So I'm having to try extra hard, but its hard when every song, picture, couple, reminds me of "us".
I hate how I'm the only one struggling with this, and your just going on with your life, like it was no big deal. Do you even miss me at all? Do you even know half of what I'm going through? No. you don't.
And I'm having to make everyone else suffer becuase there are days like today where I just have the crappiest days ever, all because my mind starts thinking. And I hate how I'm confusing the living hell out of the nicest guy in the world, all because of you. And I hate how he's mad at me now.
I just want this feeling to go away. What did I ever do to deserve this? What did I ever do to make you change your mind? I really dont know, and I probably never will.
Ugh.
Sometimes, I just hate life.
last modified Nov 14, 2005 at 15:11
aw thanks so much helen
I looove you 
Julie, as much as you hate it, you never know maybe its for the better! youve met new people and even though nothing is happening right now, dont worry, you have time, its when you are ready, not when you thinnk your ready, not when you say your ready but when your body tells you your ready, and until then its ok to cry, its ok to be upset sometimes, yes you need to move on and you know that, but there is no point in forcing it on yourself youll only make it worse. your a great person , you know tha, i know that, HE knows that, and he doesnt know what hes missing...and you arent making everyone else suffer. and maybe you are confusing the " nicest guy in the world" but you know what, that isnt your fault and he knows that, he understands and he isnt mad at you. dont be putting more stuff on your self that you dont need. You did ABSOLUTELY nothing to deserve this, infact u deserve FAR from this, but we cant change the past right?...all you can do is make a better future, and as much as you hate life, or how life is treating you right now remember you have alll your friends, were hear for you even if it means waking us up in the morning or late at night, or calling us out of town lol...so dont hate life, hate what is happening in your life, but not even that, hate nothing, try n move on and love the life ahead of you!.......wow...famous words or Dr.Helen eh
smiles and tears, giggles and laughs...
late night calls and cute photgraphs...
i'll be there for you til the day of my death..
best friends forever til my very last breath!
remember that! stay strong, be happy! i love you
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