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rip michael & melissa & cherise & tom.
so yet another person I know had died.
that'd 4 people in the past 2 years, all young too.
I don't understand.
and every time someone else dies, not only do I get upset about that, but it brings up the fact that Michael died, which makes it even worse.
Although I knew the other people, I wasn't FRIENDS with them, more aqaintences. But it's so much harder when you grew up with someone.
Maybe if he was still alive we wouldn't even talk anymore, or maybe we would. But either or, it would be better if he WAS alive.
I know the way he died was stupid, he overdosed. I don't know if he knew what he was doing, but he had to have some knowledge about what he was doing, and for that, it makes me angry at him. I'm angry because he didn't stop to think what might have happened if he did such a stupid thing like that.
But the other half of me can't be angry at him at all, it's not like he wanted to die.
Plus that faggot kid that didn't wake him up has to live with the rest of his life that he could have saved him, but was an idiot and didn't.
I miss the times we did have together though, he was just at my house like 2 months before he died when we had our big karate get together.
He always had a weird sense of humour that he could make anyone laugh, but not laugh himself.
and I remember how him and Billy were the only two boys I would ever grapple with, cause with anyone else it would have been too weird.
or how we were on the 'demo team' together, and me him billy anthony and jonathon all thought we were the best and would always goof off just because we could.
Or how at first I was taller than him, and all of the other boys in karate, then every year they would start to catch up until that they were all taller - michael was tallest of course. He was so tall that all his karate pants were like floods haha. We used to make fun of him for it.
Whenever he talked he used to do this pase thing, well it was more like he couldn't stay in one spot while he talked.
I have pictures of him at my house from years ago, when we all got on my trampoline and you had so much fun on it.
If I had to pick one person that would have died this way, it wouldn't have been him. I know he went through some tough times during high school, but he was just so much better than that.
He was probably one of the nicest kids I had ever met.
His funeral was one of the worst days. He looked so fake, and it was just so weird to be beside him.
I kept trying to get him to come to our high school in grade 11, he said he was considering it, but never did. What if he did? Things could be totally different; he might still be alive.
But I guess you can't live on what if's your whole life, cause what happened has happened.
And I know its been over a year since it has happened, but it still bothers me.
I wish things didn't have to be that way though. It's tough. I can't even imagine what it would STILL be like for his family and his best friends.
Maybe I drag things on too long, I tend to do that. I can't seem to ever let things go.
and then I just keep making myself upset when I don't even need to be. But it's hard when other people pass away, because it just brings up when he died.
bahh.
it sucks.
last modified Nov 26, 2007 at 17:26
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