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julie.
when you're older you will understand.
last modified Jan 23, 2008 at 21:56
FINALLY the weekend. This week has lasted a bazillion years.
Yesterday went to Jesse's...twas fun
Today I'm hanging out with Courtney and Helen....yay
Tomorrow...may go boarding...may not...we'll see.
*15 days till 1 year/concert!
*19 days till Cuba!
And thats it.
I love you Jesse
Today is such a 'blah' day. Im tired, I was so cold all day, Im in 'blah' mood, Rebecca hit me with these sticks from karate(dont worry Becca...I'm good), and people just piss me off. Like I cried for no real reason. Ah, just one of those days...
And a happy note: Me and Helen OFFICIALLY going to CUBA!
*17 days till 1 year with Jesse and Ashlee Simpson Concert!
*21 days till Cuba!
You know what is gay? War. Like...I guess its good it happened, cuz our world would definately not be like it is today...who knows where we'd be. But...its so yucky. Bazillions and millions of people died. I was watching this movie in history today...and its just like...get up...shoot....get shot. I know it was fighting for our country...but how could so many men have the nerve to kill people...RIGHT infront of them. I know I never ever could. I'd never join the army or anything.....Im too much of a girl. lol But yeh...its gross.
Well my toes are probably BROKEN! Thanks Brit. GAWD. lol just kidding...but seriously....they are very very sore. (Brittany kicked them by the way) hehe
You know what one of my pet peeves are....when people change when they get a boyfriend. Its happening to a few of my friends...okay...maybe 2....but still. Its gay....they stop talking to you....they walk off with them...never come to say hi anymore...bcuz they're with them....When I got a boyfriend, I didn't ignore my friends for him. They say I'm the only one who hasnt changed...and Im proud haha. Cuz I love my friend and I'd never ditch them or anything. But yeh. Just saying....poo on people unlike me...haha totally kidding but yeh.
Well, I went to visit my aunt in the hospital last night...and before I went, I really didn't want to go. I was scared. Ive seen my uncle when he was dying, and I didn't want to see my aunt this way either. But I had to go. We got in the hospital and I felt like I was going to faint. I felt all dizzy and tipsy. But we went in there...my cousin was there, along with my other aunt Wendy and uncle. My cousin, who's the son of my dying aunt...looked so sad. Then they told me to go in. I did. She looked terrible. I said hi...stood there for a min, then walked out of the room crying. My aunt Wendy took me outside and explained whats happening. Well, she has bone cancer, which I knew. Then she fell and broke her knee, but she didn't have any bone left, bcuz the cancer has aten away the bone. So she had to get a fake knee. So since that happened, they couldnt do kemo(sp?) theropy on her...so the cancer is getting worse right. Its aten away at the bones, that the calcium from her bones is leaking into her system, and thats bad. So she wasnt all there...and she gets anxiaty attacks, and falls asleep in the middle of the setence..and its not good.
So yeh. She's not doing that good. Who knows how long she has left. I couldnt be in the room at one point, I had to go sit down outside. My dad was really quiet, as this is his sister. I felt bad for him.
It just isn't fair.
I hate hospitals.
I'm extremly tired. This whole week has been me being up late..and it's caught up to me. Definately going to bed at like...7.
Got my report card back today...83% average..yeye...honour rooooole!
This lady that teaches kickboxing some nights...shouldnt teach! Shes not even in shape herself so how can she teach other people to be when she's not even in shape...and I really think she hates teenagers. She gives me and my friends bad looks all the time like we're up to no good or that she doesnt want us in her class. Thats so gay. She doesnt tell us to do anything else, just the adults. And when shes doing warm ups she doesnt even tell you, you have to be expected to be watching her all the time, cuz shes not enthusiastic at all so you dont here her saying to switch. Ugh. So me and Brit are gunna say something to someone. Whether they listen or not its up to them, but theres no harm in saying it.
I really hope I get to go away. That'll be so fun.
Karate still kind of sucks. Only thing I enjoy is demo and kickboxing right now. I went to sparring class last night...and I just didn't want to be there. Like...I just kept looking at the clock waiting for him to say 'line up' so class would be ooooover.
We tried to work things out, but like you said, I think we've changed. All of us. As much as we want it to work, I think we've just changed...friends to still say hi and stuff, but to be bestest friends and talk 24/7 again, I just dont know. Like as I said, as much as I really really want it to work, I dono. It just feels weird, and I agree, I dont think any of us put in effort to really try and make it work again....maybe theres still a chance....maybe not...who really knows
I was in such a pissy mood yesterday. Like everything everyone did or said I snapped..ever had those days? Where you dont want to talk to certain people or do certain things and when it happens you just snap. Me and Sam were in that mood yesterday. Goodnes...girls eh...lol
Pink and white and red day today at school.. ye ye. Twas fun. I <3 spirit days, they are so much fun. You can look like a freak and no one can judge you! wooo
We have this 'Eat Smart' thing at school, which I may have posted about before, but yeh, its back up and running again. Know what that means? Get out of class! wooohooo...cuz we have meetings, plus I'll miss 3rd period a lot cuz of campaines on lunch times....so yep
This weekend isnt gunna be a very exciting one. Boo. Well, it might be. I think tomorrow I'm going down to visit my aunt in the hospital. As much as I want to see her, I dont want to go to the hospital. I dont like them...they're too depressing and full of sick people who I have a hard time looking at cuz I feel bad. Then Saturday I'm going to my friends dance show...so that'll be cool. Maybe hang out with people before it...then no plans for Sunday...maybe hanging out with J to the esse. We'll see
Ha, I just talked to my mom and shes like "before you go to bed I want your clothes picked up in your room" and I'm like "why? Why do you care so much? It isnt your room..." and then yeh so she said she wont nag on me, that clothes are my responsibility, and that the only things she asks is that I hang towels up. Yeehaw. Now I wonder how long this will last. In a while she'll prolly be on my back again telling me to clean it up. Oh well.
Well I think I've written enough for today. I'm really tired so i'm prolly off to bed soon...even tho its only 7:05...but whatev.
I hate fakes. The kind of people who just look and act fake...around certain people they have like different personalities. It really bugs me. I don't change for anyone. I'm me...around pretty much everyone, unless I dont know them, then I get shy, which still is me, just around people I dont know. You get it. But people who like will be one way around their friends, another way around people they are intimidated by, and the oppisite sex. Tis definately gay gay gaaaay.
My moms being on my back lately too. About how I never clean my room. Know what I dont get? Its MY room...not my parents...so why do they care what it looks like? Do they have to sleep in it? Do they have to live in it? No. So why do they care so much...yeish!
And Brit, don't worry..people can be stupid...and we may want to "accidently" punch them...but their just not worth it...cuz their definately just not worth our time and effort.
Well tomorrows Valentines day..me and Jesse had it today..along with our 11 months TODAY! Wow...11 months. Thats almost a year. I can't believe it. In a way its felt that long, but, in a way its felt like nothing close to that at all. This past year has been the best ever..he's made it so special for me. He makes me feel so happy and taught me what love can feel like. I've got the best guy in the world..and I'm sooooo lucky.
Thanks for always being there Jesse...I love you so much...forever and always! <3
Happy 11 months
Ah. Karate.
I'm frustrated with myself about that. I need my 2nd tip for my black belt right, well since I switched schools, I've had to leanr all these forms, plus now Im expected to know all those forms plus all the black belt ones. And I'm getting frustrated bcuz I just cant seem to remember any of the forms, which puts me behind. And how am I supposed to review them when we don't even go over forms in class, and when we do its for only like 15 mins...not even...and we only do it like every 2/3 weeks. Then theres these help classes that you can go to, but half the time I cant even get there for them bcuz my brother has the car. And Jesse or Rebecca could help me or something, but like I dont wanna hang out with them and do karate, like...I'd rather just hang out with them since I do karate a lot anyways. I dono. And I guess I miss everything from the old school. Like the popularity, and teaching the lil kids, and being known by all the kids and parents, being the only girl, being one of the 2 best students in the school, getting discounts, all my friends from there...etc...I miss it. I used to never be beat in sparring (fighting), now theres a lot of people that can beat me..some really badly, and then I kinda beat myself up about it cuz like I was used to being the best. And I know that sounds kind of selfish. But think about it: you being the best at something for so long, then changing something and having a lot of other people so much better than you. It kinda sucks. And definatly miss being one of the only girls so I got special treatment. Ah yes I sound selfish...a lot....but you can't say you wouldnt feel the same way as me if you were in this situation. Plus...I REALLY miss teaching the little guys. That was so much fun. I wish I could do it now, but no.
And maybe your thinking, so why would you even change? Well, I wasnt learning anything anymore. So I just decided to switch schools. Now I have to learn SO much. Its stressful.
And I try my best sometimes, but it seems my best isnt good enough. Im ALWAYS being corrected on stuff, which will make me better, which yes is what I want...but being corrected kinda sucks too. Which sounds so weird cuz I want to be better....but yet not corrected. I dono.
Ah. Oh well. Maybe I'll start to enjoy it again, once I get these forms and get my tip...which wont be until like 2 years....well maybe not 2 years...but close to it...
And dont try to blame it on yourself. None of this is your fault.
Okay...finally these sites are back up...gawd....it was beginning to annoy me when they wern't working for like 4 days...pft...
2nd semester started. Loser lunch...again. But, not complaining, I have 2 of my best friends on my lunch...so I'm happy. Gunna have lots of work this semester tho, which sucks the big one.
Went boarding on Saturday with people, always fun. I think I'm going tubing this weekend...haha weeee! I've never been so it shall be fun.
Well...it's late....and I'm going to bed...So I'll write more lata gangstas!
I love you Jesse
Ahh there might be a way to put an end to all this...I sure hope so.
I hate when people say Jesse's 'whipped' by me...I dont know why, but it really really bugs me...cuz I guess when I hear that it's like I control him...and thats like the LAST thing I want to do...which I dont...but yeh..cuz like I hate relationships that are all controlling of one another, it's so gay so it just really bugs me when people say he's whipped.
hm..theres nothing else to write about...how boring...
I wanna go boarding with people...but...yeeeeeeah...
EXAMS=OVER! YE YE
Omg...after exams me, Sam, Amanda, Hollie, Brit and Andrea went to Helen's..omg funniest thing ever! We went to a ice rink in the park, and no one else was on it so we were playing games and we were playing octopus n stuff and I couldnt catch anyone cuz I couldnt run and I was like I HATE THIS GAME! and Brittany thought it was soooo funny and like pissed herself laughing so hard...then we were playing 3 legged race and me n Hollie were losing and she fell so I just went down with her and she got like half up and was trying to keep going while i was still on the ground and shes like CMON JULIE! YOU'RE FALLING BEHIND! QUIT STRAGGLING! or something....hahahaha....prolly doesnt sound funny to you but it was hilaaaaaarious to us haha...oh man lol STILL laughing about it...
hahaha....still laughing....
My friends are great! ye ye! Props to them hehe!
Ah this sucks. Stupid people can't ever figure things out. And it sucks even more becuz every time it happens I get more worried about stuff that I really shouldnt get worried about.
Why does this have to happen!?!
Geez man!!!!
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