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julie.
when you're older you will understand.
last modified Jan 23, 2008 at 21:56
ooohhhhh jeeezz.
Sunday - 3 days 
School starts - 5 days =(
Buffalo - 8 days =D
My birthday - 25 days =D
courtney, I totally agree.
guys that dress good, make them so much better looking.
hahah.
oh, we're funny.
going to breakfast at 8 o'clock at night with helen,
we're pretty much the coolest kids I know.
yaaaaaay.
so there's pretty much 0 things to talk about.
just been hanging out with courtney & helen
we cool.
Helen & I went to my cousins wedding, it was cute.
I actually danced at this one, it was fun hah.
I love how I can't dance regularly so I just goof around, its cool.
This guy was trying to dance with helen, so funny.
then this 25ish year old told me I will make a good 19 year old cause I told him I was only 17 (almost). hah.
then us 3 met up with Ben Long at Macs last night
it's so funny cause I used to have the hugest crush on that kid when I was like 11. I told him though hah.
We did nothing last night though, it was still fun.
Sunday is fast approaching.
woooo. you know what that means;
and if you don't, thennnn...too bad for you.
I'm excited. Probably shouldn't be, but it's too late now.
then BUFFAAAALLLLOOOOOO in 10 days!
what what!
I'm soooo super excited for that.
I love staying in hotels, nevermind with court and helen
it's going to be so fun.
I'm buying out the whole mall.
Bahh, school is a week today.
gross.
p.s; I hate you.
I went to my trailer for a couple days;
kinda boring.
On the way there, I was fine being in the car.
But on the way home, I was freaking out.
Well, not freaking, but I had major anxiety about being on the highway.
My Dad's a good driver, everything was just coming back to me.
I saw those bump things that Katie lost control on
and it would just make my heart beat so much.
at one point I had to close my eyes cause I just couldn't look out the window anymore.
I don't understand, cause then after like 10/15 mins of acting like that, I was fine.
Who knows.
But the good thing is, I'm home! Finally. It was boring up there.
so, I usually try and tell myself not to go and get my hopes up, cause knowing my history, they just get shot down.
but it's too late. they're already up. waaaay up. oh jeez.
Buffallo= 15 days!!!!!!!
"We walk around talking to complete strangers;
laugh for absolutley no reason at all;
have stupid fights that are over in 10 minutes;
attempt to dance and sing like they do in the music videos;
have a billion "you-had-to-be-there" moments;
gang up on the bitch that as a problem with one of us;
make fun of each other when we walk into stuff;
act like we're all on crack;
and no matter what happenes we're always there for each other through good times and bad."
Helen & Courtney; BFF. <3
19 Days!!!
I kinda like where I'm at.
I was just thinking, & yeh, sometimes I get down,
and sometimes I wonder why stuff happened,
but overall right now, my life is pretty good.
Like my friend from work, she's pregnant.
She's my age, and isn't even going out with her boyfriend anymore.
How sad is that? pretty bad.
Or pretty much how I have the 2 best friends ever.
I could pretty much tell their whole life stories to you, we're that close. & I love how us 3 are going to Buffalo in 21 days now!
and sometimes I get down about the whole 'boy' situation;
but it really isn't that bad.
No, I don't have a serious boyfriend anymore, but at the moment I kinda like it.
Of course I'm always going to like relationships, I'm just that kind of person, and I could have a relationship if I really wanted to, but I just don't.
and I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of excited to get to know an 'old friend' again. Cause of how it went before, it might go further this time? You never know until you try right? right.
plus then me and helen can go to visit our 'college boyfriends'. haha. oh jeez.
& I know I work at frickin McDonalds, but honestly. I love it. Well I love the people, most of them. I've made some really good friends working there. I'll leave sometime, I'm not going to have a career at McDonalds, buuut, for now I like it.
The only things wrong, is how I'm so freakin hungry right now;
so I'll go get food.
ye ye.
I'm so freakin' bored right now, its not cool.
It's one of my day's off, but yet I don't really have anything to do
times like this I actually wish that I did work today
at least at work I have fun, mostly.
Last night I was done at 8 but didn't leave until like 8:20
cause we were understaffed and got so busy. it sucked.
I went out for brunch tho with Adam M, Helen & Courtney.
It was sooooo good. The place was full of old people
but it was still so yummy. Adam said we should book off one morning and go there every week. Adam and I saw THE hottest guy come through drive thru. hah. I love that he's gay, cause we can talk about guys and crap.
I'm rich now.
22 days until Buffalo. Then I won't be rich anymore. ha.
Hanging out with guys is so much different then hanging out with girls. I went out for dinner with Kyle, Billy & Dan the other night.
Billy said some gross things then I bitched him out for it. Pretty funny.
I finally get a hair cut on Friday, that's exciting isn't it. Oh, it is.
I love how me and Helen can pretty much say the whole "she's the man" movie to each other line by line. We're huge losers. hah.
It's a good movie, if you havn't seen it, your missing out.
I hate guys. Well, hate is a strong word. I dislike them.
Well I more dislike the fact that I find something wrong with every single person that likes me. & that I fall for people I can't have.
But I'm pretty much over it and am just having fun. It's better that way. No restrictions ;). haha.
Me and Helen are going to my cousins wedding next weekend. woohoo. She's my date, since I don't bring boys to weddings anymore. It's bad luck to me now, thanks. But oh well, I'll have more fun with her than any guy. so psh.
annnnnd I'm done.
Have you seen my son?
not too tall, 5’8”
she held up a coloured copy, photograph
from his wedding day
and this is his pregnant wife
carrying his last dream
he walked down 46 floors before he felt the rush
the rush of gasoline
I can feel the pain
looking in their eyes
but I don’t know gone without good-bye
if I could reach the sky
I’d bring him right back to your arms
though I haven’t seen your son, he’s forever in my life
Have you seen my little girl?
she’s got curly black hair
she took this Raggedy-Ann doll, everywhere
last I saw her over there
then I heard a plight of screams
and a speeding van
I watched these tears pour down
a father’s last attemp of being a rational man
Though I can feel the pain
look into his eyes
but I don’t know gone without good-bye
if I could reach the sky I’d bring her right back to your arms
though I haven’t seen your girl, she’s forever in my life
and have you seen my faith?
it can run, it can hide
Jesus mend this breaking heart of mine
that keeps on loving life
Though I can feel the pain
look into my eyes
but I don’t know gone without good-bye
if I could reach the sky
I’d try to turn the world around
so that we could see the face of forever
stay alive.
so that was kind of weird.
I don't know why.
it's not like I havn't seen you since.
& then it just put me into a bad mood
until Melissa was like "just brush it off"
so I did & realized it wasn't worth it.
you're not worth it.
you don't understand.
you never will.
& I'm wondering if I should give it a chance?
People think I should;
we're going to the movies & stuff
so we'll see.
apparently he's felt like this for a long time
so who knows.
but I enjoy having his sweater. ha.
girls are such bitches.
ha. they really are.
girls always say they hate most girls;
and it's true.
we do.
but I was talking to this one girl from work
& she was asking me if I knew people from my school
and she'd be like "I hate her".
didn't seem like she liked many people.
oh well.
& how could we quit something we never even tried,
well you still can't tell me why.
Your not the person who you used to be,
the one I want who wanted me,
& that's a shame but,
there's only so many tears that you can cry.
before it drains the light right from your eyes,
& I can't go on that way.
& so I'm letting go of everything we were,
it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Sometimes you hold so tight,
it slips right through your hands.
will I ever understand?
We built it up,
to watch it fall.
like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
but couldn't give you what you need.
you walked away,
you stole my life,
just to find what your looking for.
but no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
I was at work today & me & adam were talking about stuff
he's so funny, I love him.
but we were talking about a certain something
and then I told him about something that happens when we see eachother
and then he told me a reason that he thinks it happens.
and I was just like no. thats not it at all.
it didn't get me upset, but I hated about thinking about it.
he doesn't get why I'm still mad, and calls me 'unreasonable'
actually he calls all girls unreasonsable.
but he really just doesn't get it.
and that whole thing probably makes no sense cause you have no clue what I'm talking about
but I'd rather not say it on here.
ugggh. it's bullshit is what it is.
Mine, Helens & Courtneys List Of Things To Do:
- wasaga (check)
- go to the Toronto Zoo
- wonderland (tomorrow)
- camp out in my backyard again
- go to buffalo
- annnnnd I forget the rest but there's more. hah.
today was fun.
me courtney and helen went down to Wasaga beach.
it wasn't a super hot day, so it wasn't thaaaat busy.
walked the beach, went into the shops & stuff,
I've never been there before, so it was cool.
We went into waterworld, theres only 4 slides so that kinda sucked
but it wasn't too bad. We only liked 2 of them anyway
the other 2 hurt...we wernt even on the slide half the time
we were up in the air and then it hurt when you hit the water. ouch.
then we met 3 guys there and we went into the water
and it was so wavey it was so fun. hah.
then all 6 of us went and got food and played frizbee and stuff.
so it was a good, fun, relaxing day.
I think we needed a day to relax cause we've been busy lately so.
but yeh, overall good day.
I love my best friends
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this,
and all the baggage that seems to still exist.
honestly
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
I really just don't get you.
Stop making up shit to cover for your own actions;
and you think I don't know,
but oh, I know.
like I said,
you're an asshole.
I found some stuff out about you from people today,
and honestly.
you fucking disgust me.
If I knew you were going to turn out to be like that
and do stuff like that
I probably wouldnt have been so upset over you for so long.
and to be totally honest
I'm glad we fucking broke up when we did
cause as if you have sunk so low.
who are you kidding?
I know this has nothing to do with me, now that we're done,
but I hope you feel used.
I really do.
and I hope it was worth your time.
cause like I said, you fucking disgust me.
your a jerk.
I don't know what this feeling is,
but I don't like it.
I've never had to feel like this before,
& might I add, it sucks.
I don't need it
but I'd rather have it.
It's hard to explain on this thing without sounding like a total loser.
so I just won't.
but ughh.
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