Searching in the Darkness

Navigate

Lex's current entries
Login::signup to we::blog
Layout created by PROJECT

Other Links

deviantART: Lex-Larmon - Head over to dA for some of my poetry.
Sinfest - Friggin' hilarious comic strip.
star cross'd destiny - A wonderful online illustrated novel. Read it from the beginning... Now!
MINX - The new MINX (formerly Scratching Post) message board.
Blizzard Entertainment - Some of the best PC games out there.
Elfwood - All about fantasy and sci-fi. It's a forum for some of the best amateur art and literature on the net.

As the sun sets on this world again,
I'm plunged into the dark
Scouring this darkened plane,
I continue the search for my heart

Though the search seems hopeless,
I continue on in vain
Because I must find an end
To this neverending pain

Searching in the darkness
Stumbling in fear
As the search becomes more hopeless,
I sense the end is near

But as the darkness starts to lift,
And my fear and dread subside
I discover that my heart has found
A new place to reside

My thoughts and dreams are all of her
She captivates my heart
She's put an end to my search
And saved me from the dark

- Lex Larmon 2003

Please feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at:
lex_larmon@hotmail.com

Name the songs I include in my posts and win a gold star!

last modified Jan 5, 2005, 19:44

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Interesting that I discovered this song tonight...

Melissa Ferrick - I Still Love You

Yeah I thought this was it
True love had arrived
So I fell in
But what a surprise
And I bought you a ring
And I asked you to wear it
So when I found it on the bathroom sink
I shoulda known I was in for it

How do I release this?
And how do I let you go?
How do I mend my heart when I feel so low?
And how do I talk to you without crying?
And how do I let you go when I still love you?
I still love you

So I don't know if I can be just your friend
Damn you for not trying
And fuck you for standing there smiling
I know what it's like to not be able to feel
And I know what it's like, yeah
To just kiss someone and make them fall in love with you
And then you walk away
To just make somebody come a little closer
So you can push them away...

How do I release this?
And how do I let you go?
How do I mend my heart when I feel so low?
And how do I talk to you without crying?
And how do I let you go when I still love you?

I still love you...

160982 | posted by Lex at 23:32 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Three Days Grace - Over and Over

I feel it every day, it's all the same
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to

It feels like every day stays the same
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me
But I want you instead
I'll keep on wasting all my time

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try to

*sigh*

160892 | posted by Lex at 9:12 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Saturday, January 19, 2008

drunk posting, yay!

This is where I say I've had enough
No one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound,
A trophy display of bruises
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better, any better

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
Is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence

Wandering this house
Like I've never wanted out
And this is about as social as I get now
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
'Cause they would never do,
I would never do, never

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
I'm pretty sure that few would notice
And this apartment
Is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence

So don't be a liar,
Don't say that "everything's working"
When everything's broken
And you smile like a saint
But you curse like a sailor
And your eyes say the joke's on me

But I'm not laughing and you're not leaving
Who do I think I am kidding
When I'm the only one locked in this cell?

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
I starving for an argument
Anything at all to break the silence

So don't be a liar,
Don't say that "everything's working"
When everything's broken
And you smile like a saint
But you curse like a sailor
And your eyes say the joke's on me

160718 | posted by Lex at 23:25 | 1 Comments | Comment on this entry

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Look around your world pretty baby
Is it everything you hoped it'd be?
The wrong guy, the wrong situation
The right time to roll to me

Look into your heart pretty baby,
Is it aching with some nameless need?
Is there something wrong and you can't put your finger on it?
Right then, roll to me

And I don't think I have ever seen a soul so in despair
So if you want to talk the night through
Guess who will be there?

So don't try to deny it pretty baby,
You've been down so long you can hardly see
When the engines stall and it wont stop raining
It's the right time to roll to me

And I don't think I have ever seen a soul so in despair
So if you want to talk the night through
Guess who will be there?

So look around your world pretty baby
Is it everything you hoped it'd be?
The wrong guy, the wrong situation
The right time to roll to me

...so how do I convince her to roll my way?

160646 | posted by Lex at 18:26 | 7 Comments | Comment on this entry

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

If anyone actually reads this...

Regarding that last post, I think I was really just appreciating the emotion evoked by the song, and it put me into that mood. I am actually feeling much better about things, and I realize that I don't have to let her go, not entirely. I just have to let go of the jealousy and romantic feelings, which is something I think I can do. I'm already almost there.

160574 | posted by Lex at 22:10 | 1 Comments | Comment on this entry

Friday, December 7, 2007

Sarah McLachlan - Do What You Have To Do

What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster broken by the rule of love
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do

And I have the sense to recognize
That I don’t know how to let you go

Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul
I’m ever swiftly moving, trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do

But I have the sense to recognize
That I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go

A glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do

And I have sense to recognize
But I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go

*sigh*

160551 | posted by Lex at 9:51 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Friday, November 23, 2007

This won't break your heart
But I just think it could
Cause I haven't tried as hard as I should
To separate you from everything I do
But I would never want to come between us two

I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me
I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me

Now I'm thinking back
To what I said before
I hope your heart won't have to hurt anymore
Cause it's really not that sad from here
Because the moments I can feel you near
They keep you close to me my dear
And if they ever become too clear...

I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me
I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me

Now you've gone away
Don't worry it's okay
That you're gone away
Now you've gone away
Further than yesterday
But you'll never leave these scenes
My mind replays

I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me
I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me

Where in the world have you gone now?

160429 | posted by Lex at 9:16 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Yeah, I know, more lyrics...

Push it out, fake a smile
Avert disaster, just in time
I need a drink, 'cause in a while
Worthless answers from friends of mine
It's dumb to ask, cool to ignore
Girls possess me, but they're never mine
I made my entrance, avoided hazards
Checked my engine, I fell behind

I fell behind

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, 'cause I'm a fuckin' boy

Remember when I was in the grocery store, now's my time
Lost the words, lost my nerve, lost the girl, left the line
I would wish upon a star, but that star, it doesn't shine
So read my book with a boring ending
A short story of a lonely guy

Who fell behind

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, 'cause I'm a fuckin' boy

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, cause I'm still just a stupid worthless boy

160394 | posted by Lex at 19:05 | 1 Comments | Comment on this entry

Monday, November 12, 2007

Bless you Tina Roy

It began in the shape of your silhouette
But day by day, it's taking more of my sight
And if I had to guess how big it will get
I'd say about the size of your life

It's been steady by my side
It's showing me loyalty that I have barely known
So I will gladly give it my eyes
And let it guide me wherever it wants to go

You left me this hole
That slowly, I am getting to know
Now there's a gap in my life
That I keep gazing into
Searching for a hint of your light
That might be wandering through

There's no other that could take it's place
In any case you left too much room behind to be filled
By people or silly things that keep trying to fit
Although I doubt that they ever will

Well you left my this hole
That slowly, I am getting to know
Now there's this gap in my life
That I keep gazing into
Searching for a hint of your light
That might be wandering through

And it began in the shape of your silhouette
But day by day it's taking more and more of my sight away
And if I had to guess how big it will get
I'd say about the size of your life

'Cause you left me this hole
That slowly, I am getting to know
Now there's this gap in my life
That I keep gazing into
Searching for a hint of your light
That might be wandering through

160368 | posted by Lex at 21:11 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Flogging Molly - The Worst Day Since Yesterday

Well I know, I miss more than hit
With a face that was launched to sink
And I seldom feel the bright relief
It's been the worst day since yesterday

If there's one thing I have said
Is that the dreams I once had, now lay in bed
As the four winds blow, my wits through the door
It's been the worst day since yesterday

Fallin' down to you sweet ground
Where the flowers they bloom
It's there I'll be found
Hurry back to me, my wild calling
It's been the worst day since yesterday

Though these wounds have seen no wars
Except for the scars I have ignored
And this endless crutch, well it's never enough
It's been the worst day since yesterday

Hell says hello, well it's time to I should go
To pastures green, that I've yet to see
Hurry back to me, my wild calling
It's been the worst day since yesterday
It's been the worst day since yesterday
It's been the worst day since yesterday

160331 | posted by Lex at 22:44 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Thursday, November 1, 2007

So this isn't the kind of thing I normally post, but I really just feel the need to express it. And better this than bitching to someone in particular.

I just feel really run down right now.

Part of it is a lack of sleep that I never seem to be able to catch up on.

Part of it is emotional exhaustion from dealing with the breakup. It doesn't help that I have to see Jocelyn at least every Tuesday and Thursday. It can be frustrating and downright painful just to be in the same room right now, to look at her and know that I can't do or say any of the things that had become so engrained in me over the past two and a half years, and made me feel so good. I want to feel them again.

And part of it is mental exhaustion from worrying about all my school work/tests and wrestling with university. I really want a university degree. Not for a job or anything, it's just a personal goal of mine. And yet I hate attending classes and doing assignments and writing exams so very much. I would really love to just drop out, get my own place and work full time, to be done with school and get on with my life. But then all the time and money I've spent so far will just be a waste, and it'll be one more thing I didn't see through to the end. On the other hand, why spend even more time and money on something I hate doing? The problem is that I can't find anything to study that I actually enjoy enough or that I'm truly interested in. I thought I'd really love psychology, and I did at first. But I'm realizing that modern psychology is nothing but pathology, medication and animal testing. That's not what I'm interested in. What I want is the humanistic side, how we think and why we do the things we do - but not in purely scientific terms. There are a few classes I have thoroughly enjoyed taking, even with the work and the tests, but there are so many other requirements of a degree that I really don't want to do. I just wind up going in circles and end up confused and frustrated.

It's exhausting.

160297 | posted by Lex at 15:28 | 1 Comments | Comment on this entry

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I love Tegan and Sara sometimes...

Speak Slow

You wait up for me, I don't wake up for you
Would you like the company or are you sick of me?

When your love lets you go, you only want love more
Even when love was not what you were looking for
Speak slow, tell me love, where do we go?
Where do we go, where do we go?

You break down and plead your case, I don't know what to say
I leave my heart, all this pain, and now I'm at it all again
On these streets that I leave for weeks on end, who's to blame
When you want love, doesn't matter what you're looking for
Speak slow, tell me love, where do we go?
Where do we go, where do we go?
Speak slow, tell me love, where do we go?
Where do we go, where do we go?

----------------------------------------------------------------

Where Does the Good Go?

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?
What do you do with the left over you?
And how do you know when to let go?
Where does the good go?
Where does the good go?

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen

It's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be real, happy and healthy, strong and calm
Where does the good go?
Where does the good go?

Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows?
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down?
What do you say, it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down
Where does the good go?
Where does the good go?

160286 | posted by Lex at 19:39 | 2 Comments | Comment on this entry

Friday, October 19, 2007

So it looks like I don't have to worry about being a coward anymore...

160240 | posted by Lex at 12:13 | 2 Comments | Comment on this entry

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Socialburn - Touch the Sky

Is it the air in my breath that makes you afraid
That I'm about to say what I never should say
To someone just like you
Who always gets confused
Between love and abuse
And all the people you use
Or someone just like me
Who can't go to sleep
Without falling in love
Without playing for keeps

160207 | posted by Lex at 22:12 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Ani Defranco - You Had Time

How can I go home
With nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say what did you do out there
And what did you decide
You said you needed time
And you had time

You are a china shop
And I am a bull
You are really good food
And I am full...

160183 | posted by Lex at 22:44 | 7 Comments | Comment on this entry

Friday, April 13, 2007

Pretty much same as last post... Plus some love for the new Evanescence album. I absolutely love Amy's voice in this song.

Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly
Now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe but I feel...

Good enough
I feel good enough for you

Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely
Now I can't let go of this dream
Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough
I feel good enough
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
Pour real life down on me
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

So take care what you ask of me
'Cause I can't say no

159018 | posted by Lex at 19:35 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Hello again, old friend

Just some overdue venting... This song came on today and it helped me express some feelings I'd otherwise ignored.

The fastest man in the world
Fast asleep at the wheel
Nobody wants to be alone
So how did I get here?
When I look at you
I see him staring through me
A wink and a smile, 'cause he's been inside of you
Is he all the things you tried to change me into?
Is he everything to you?

Does he make you high, make you real?
Does he make you cry?
Does he know the way you feel?
Love is all around you, your universe is full
But in my world...
There is only you

I can still find your smell
On my clothes and skin
I can still see your face
When you're sleeping next to him
Is he all the things you tried to change me into?

Tell me, does he make you high, make you real?
Does he make you cry?
Does he know the way you feel?
Love is all around you, your universe is full
But in my world...
There is only you

I've had my fears
You let them out
Now I wrap myself around you
Like a blanket full of doubt
The darkness burns
The sunlight stings
He's your everything

Does he make you high? Does he make you real?
Does he make you cry?
Does he know the way you feel?
Love is all around you, your universe is full
But in my world...

You make me high, you make me real
You make me cry
Now you know the way I feel
Love is all around you, your universe is full
But in my world...
There is only you

158667 | posted by Lex at 16:36 | 2 Comments | Comment on this entry

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Been a while, hasn't it?

You told me that you want to die
I said I've been there myself more than a few times
And I go back every once in a while
You called me lucky, you... you called me lucky

You said tonight is a wonderful night to die
I asked you how you could tell you told me to look at the sky
Look at all those stars,
Look at how goddamn ugly the stars are

It's one or another
Between a rope and a bottle
I can tell you're having trouble breathing

'Cause you'll never be okay (You'll never be okay)
You'll always be in pain (You'll never be okay)
You'll always feel this way
'Cause things they never work out right (They never work out right)
The wrong way, the lonely way (They never work out right)
You'll always be in pain

You told me that the daylight burns you
And that the sunrise was enough to kill you
I said "Maybe you're a vampire"
You said "It's quite possible, I feel truly dead inside."

It's one or another
Between a rope and a bottle
I can tell you're having trouble breathing

'Cause you'll never be okay (You'll never be okay)
You'll always be in pain (You'll never be okay)
You'll always feel this way
'Cause things they never work out right (They never work out right)
The wrong way, the lonely way (They never work out right)
You'll always be in pain

Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out

Love you Jen

155827 | posted by Lex at 13:55 | 4 Comments | Comment on this entry

Wednesday, January 5, 2005

Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe...

I tried to avoid this...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!

I feel a little better... Still shaking though...

133645 | posted by Lex at 19:13 | 6 Comments | Comment on this entry

Sunday, November 7, 2004

I found some new glory

I won a cd! Turns out entering all those MuchMusic.com contests wasn't a total waste of time. Upon arriving home from school the other day, I found a package addressed to me, containing both a letter that I'd won a secondary prize, and "Catalyst", the new album from New Found Glory. It's probably not a cd I'd have ever bought for myself, but I'm liking it a lot.

Anyway, here's some lyrics from the first single. They reminded me of... well, of my past. And even a few things in the present (You contradict the fact that you still want me around). You were right, so this one's for you Court. My Catalyst.

All Downhill from Here

You're hiding something cause it's burning through your eyes
I try to get it out but all I hear from you are lies
And I can tell you're going through the motions
I figured you were acting out your part
Once again we're playing up emotion
Which one of us will burn until the end

Catalyst, you insist to pull me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it's all downhill from here
And it's all downhill from here

Your good intentions slowly turn to bitterness
Reoccuring episodes with each and every kiss
And I can tell you're going through the motions
I figured you were acting out your part
Once again we're playing up emotion
Which one of us will burn until the end

Catalyst, you insist to pull me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it's all downhill from here
And it's all downhill from here

And I can't believe you pulled it off again
Or notice 'til it all sets in
You'll deny it 'til you're at your bitter end

And I can tell you're going through the motions
I figured you were acting out your part
Once again we're playing up emotion
Which one of us will burn until the end

Catalyst, you insist to pull me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it's all downhill from here
And it's all downhill from here

(And you keep pulling me down)
Pulling me down
Pulling me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it's all downhill from here
And it's all downhill from here

- New Found Glory

G'night everybody

127467 | posted by Lex at 19:40 | 3 Comments | Comment on this entry

Thursday, November 4, 2004

SR-71 Wisdom

Go Away

Once inside the door I check my face in the mirror,
As I look past this lonely minute
Was this the ride worth waiting for?
I'm scared to death that now I've missed it
But she was not the only stone
Skipped across this gravel road leading down the path of loneliness
So I'll fly from this hate, pray my soul that love will take me
To a place through time and indifference

I wanna know, how do you feel?
I wanna know if this was real
Then tell me what would you say
If you can make this pain go away

She plans her future looking bright ahead
Leaves me in the past
I can't stand to hang out with my co-dependent friends
My patience fading fast
But every sign and every song is telling me I don't belong
But it's okay to feel scared
'Cause one day soon I'll find myself and realize that no one else
Will make me feel stupid

I wanna know, how do you feel?
I wanna know if this was real
So tell me what would you say
If you can make this pain go away

There's this old man down in Fell's Point,
Always hanging around
Telling me, "Son, the pendulum swings both ways
But for you, it'll always swing down"

I wanna know, how do you feel?
I wanna know if this was real
I wanna know, how do you feel?
I wanna know if this was real
Then tell me what would you say?
What would you say?
What would you say
If you can make this pain go away

127099 | posted by Lex at 14:21 | 3 Comments | Comment on this entry

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Way hey hey, it's just an ordinary day...

Here, a little sympathy
For you to waste on me
I know you're faking it but that's okay...

Man, time flies when you're... I dunno, living life I guess. But when I started this weblog up again, I didn't want to let myself go for a week without posting. Even if they were pointless quiz posts. And so here we are.

I spent much of today in bed, with an aching and nauseous stomach (in addition to the usual sore back, neck and shoulders - I should probably get that looked at sometime). And the extent of my human contact was one of my parents bitching about the other one.

Already been invited to two Hallowe'en parties, and I can't attend either of them. Can't go to the Hallowe'en dance either. Why? Because I'll be spending 4 days (Friday to Monday) on the road and in Kingston for my uncle's wedding. Fun fact - he's 55 and it's his first marriage. Never say never Mom... Oh, and I get to lead a congregation of Christians in a prayer. And yet I don't share their faith... Go figure. I dunno, I don't really want to go, since I'd sooooo much rather be partying with my friends, but I guess it'll be nice to see my cousin from B.C. again, it's been a while. And I guess I'll get to meet the new in-laws (or outlaws, as the case may be). Who knows? Maybe I'll take the little ones trick-or-treating. Hurrah.

Well, the week has sucked so far (though I'm really starting to love Sundays...) but we'll see what tomorrow holds. Crap... tomorrow's Wednesday. Ugh. Anyway, I probably won't get a chance to post again until after I get back from K-town, which will be Monday or Tuesday. Of course, if it's Tuesday, I'll be breaking my one-week rule... Oh well.

I've got a book of matches
I've got a can of kerosene
I've got some bad ideas involving you and me
I don't blame you for walking away
I touched myself had thoughts of flames
I shat the bed and laid there in it
Thinking of you wide awake for days
Wide awake for days

And I found you tongue-tied in my twisted little brain
You couldn't crack a smile
I didn't catch your name
I don't blame you for walking away
I'd do the same if I saw me
I swear it's not contagious
In four short steps we can erase this

Step one -- slit my throat
Step two -- play in my blood
Step three -- cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four -- stop off at Edgebrook Creek and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn't meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one

I'm like a broken record
I've got a needle scratching me
It injects the poison of alcohol I.V.
I don't blame you for walking away
I'd do the same if I saw me
I swear it's not contagious
I swear to God it's not contagious

Step one -- slit my throat
Step two -- play in my blood
Step three -- cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four -- stop off at Lake Michigan and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn't meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one

This could be love - love for fire
This could be love - love for fire
This could be love - love for fire
This could be love for fire forevermore

Step one -- slit my throat
Step two -- play in my blood
Step three -- cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four -- stop off at Berkeley Marina and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn't meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one
One by one

When am I going to able to see TFN play again? Or even just see one of their members for that matter...

125969 | posted by Lex at 20:09 | 2 Comments | Comment on this entry

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Because I can

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

125312 | posted by Lex at 20:42 | 8 Comments | Comment on this entry

Monday, October 18, 2004

Shackled

For so long my life's been sewn up tight inside your hold
And it leaves me there without a place to call my own

I know now what shadows can see
There's no point in running 'less you run with me
It's half the distance through the open door
Before you cut me down
Again
Let me introduce you to the end

And I feel the cold wind blowing beneath my wings
It always leads me back to suffering
But I will soar until the wind whips me down
Leaves me beaten on unholy ground again

So tired now of paying my dues
I start out strong but then I always lose
It's half the distance before you leave me behind
It's such a waste of time

'Cause my shackles
You won't be
And my rapture
You won't believe
And deep inside you will bleed for me

So here I slave inside of a broken dream
Forever holding on to splitting seams
So take your piece and leave me alone to die
I don't need you to keep my faith alive

I know now what trouble can be
And why it follows me so easily
It's half the distance through the open door
Before you shut me down
Again
Let me introduce you to the end

'Cause my shackles
You won't be
And my rapture
You won't believe
And deep inside you will bleed for me

Though you know you care

'Cause my shackles
You won't be
And my rapture
You won't believe
And deep inside you will bleed for me

And my laughter
You won't hear
The faster
I disappear
And time will burn your eyes to tears

- Vertical Horizon

125007 | posted by Lex at 21:00 | 2 Comments | Comment on this entry

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Well, looks like everyone I care about is miserable... kinda makes me feel like an ass for being so happy.

Wednesdays will be the end of me yet...

124317 | posted by Lex at 10:40 | 4 Comments | Comment on this entry

Monday, October 11, 2004

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me

Oy... got that stuck in my head now...

Alright, I know I've been neglecting posting lately... But I've been either too busy with homework, deathly sick (Tuesday-Saturday), or just living such a boring life that it was pointless to post about it.

Anyway, like I said, I've been sick since Tuesday, which made for a lovely week... I ignored it until Thursday, when I was so dead I had to just go home. Nearly blacked out Wednesday... and Thursday... and Friday... And spent a boring long weekend at home recovering.

I'm gonna have a ton to catch up on at school... Plus that stupid english scene we have to act out tomorrow... Ugh. But on the bright side, I am all better now. Thanks Coka!

But despite the crappiness of the week and ensuing crappy weekend, the long weekend ended on a very good note. And that's all I'm going to say for now.

Ciao for now,

There's a neat little lass and her name is Mari Mac
Make no mistake, she's the girl I'm gonna track
Lot of other fellas try to get her on her back
But I'm thinking that they'll have to get up early

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Now Mari and her mother are an awful lot together
In fact you hardly see the one without the other
And people often wonder if it's Mari or her mother
Or both of them together I am courting

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Well up among the heather in the hills of Bonifee
Well I had a bonnie lass sitting on me knee
A bumble bee stung me right above me knee
Up among the heather in the hills of Benifee

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Well I said "Wee bonnie lassie, where you going to spend the day?"
She said "Among the heather in the hills of Benifee"
Where all the boys and girls are making out so free
Up among the heather in the hills of Benifee

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

The wedding's on Wednesday, everything's arranged
Soon her name will be changed to mine unless her mind be changed
And making the arrangements, I'm feeling quite deranged
Marriage is an awful undertaking

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Sure to be a grand affair, grander than a fair
Going to be a fork and plate for every man that's there
And I'll be a bugger if I don't get my share
If I don't we'll be very much mistaken

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

There's a neat little lass and her name is Mari Mac
Make no mistake, she's the girl I'm gonna track
Lot of other fellas try to get up on her back
I'm thinking that they'll have to get up early

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Now try singing that whole thing really, really quickly...

124003 | posted by Lex at 20:47 | 1 Comments | Comment on this entry

Saturday, October 2, 2004

It's late and I'm bored

DarkMagic
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!

Please rate ^^

What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

burning
Your soul is bound to the Burning Rose: The
Rapture.

"I go where my heart beckons me, and I go
with my head high. But sometimes, I get a need
until I bleed so my heart swims above my
head."

The Burning Rose is associated with passion,
intensity, and desire. It is governed by the
god Eros and its sign is The Flame, or Physical
Love.

As a Burning Rose, you can get lost in the moment
if you let yourself. You are a very physical
person, be it in relationships, work, or play.
You may be driven by your hormones sometimes,
but you know it's because you have to follow
your instinct.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

HASH(0x8b7e168)
Reincarnation: You are nice enough to go to heaven,
but Earth won't be as fun without you. So you
shall come back as someone or something else.
As a real optimist and lighthearted person, you
always see the good in things. People probably
respect you for your wonderful personality and
love for life. People like you make the world a
happier place (please rate my quiz)

**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

122867 | posted by Lex at 23:01 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Both of us never tiring, desperately wanting

So are we lost or do we know
Which direction we should go
Sit around and wait for someone to take our hands and lead the way

Cause every day we're getting older
And every day we all get colder
We're sick of waiting for our answers

Well, once again my homework has been keeping me from posting... and even when I had the time, I didn't have the words. But, I've come to some interesting revelations this week (especially yesterday, my mind was spinning). Otherwise, I've been really good. Depsite the frantic busyness, I think I've been happier over the past few weeks than I have been in a long time... Too bad no one else seems to be experiencing the same. Danny and Regs, you both need to relax... You're starting to worry me... you too Jesse.

Let's see, since the last real post... dance at LEP rocked. Hehe, I love my fedora... wore it to jazz too.

Music council seems to be coming together nicely, we're currently planning a grade 9 welcome party - should be pretty good if we can pull it off.

Ugh... this weekend will be brutal, I have my job to do, 12 pages to write up for english, plus whatever else I get for homework tomorrow. At least the weekend will start off on a good note... *note to self - bring Warcraft to distract the kid*

Ciao for now,

(P.S. - New gold stars up for grabs with every post)

Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

122705 | posted by Lex at 20:35 | 7 Comments | Comment on this entry