Navigate

Lex's current entries
Login::signup to we::blog
Layout created by PROJECT

Archives

November 2007

Profile

Name - Lex (Alexander Jack Grenville Larmon)
Age - 20 years old
Birthday - February 18, 1987
Zodiac - Aquarius (I'm a freakin' water-bearer. Other people get things like a lion, a centaur archer or a scorpion, and I get some guy that carries water).
Location - Sudbury, Ontario, Canada
Loves - Music, gaming, music, computers/internet, music, drinking, music, friends, and whatever else you probably already know about me.

Blog Links

The Bloody Morning After - With our brothers we will share all the secrets of our mountain, all the riches buried there.
Biff - Move along, I believe there's something beautiful to see...
The Elmo - The adventures of Darien in Canadore College... In short - it's just a feeling
Under the Red - Feeling down? Depressed? Alienated? Just remember these three words... "I'm somebody's fetish."
Edicius - Metaphorically correct, and dead to boot!
Lean On Me - Regan's digital and cryonable shoulder
Never Is a Promise - "As I crash, I watch you burn..." Go Ry!
The Phantom Tollbooth - Ali's blog... Her straight forward is kinda crooked
Butterfly's Blog - "Oh butterfly where do you go?"
The World of Cr0magnus - You Can’t Dare Be Different ~ A Modern Paradox
Nameless - Loosing your mind isn't so bad... is it?

Other Links

deviantART: Lex-Larmon - Head over to dA for some of my poetry.
Sinfest - Friggin' hilarious comic strip.
star cross'd destiny - A wonderful online illustrated novel. Read it from the beginning... Now!
MINX - The new MINX (formerly Scratching Post) message board.
Blizzard Entertainment - Some of the best PC games out there.
Elfwood - All about fantasy and sci-fi. It's a forum for some of the best amateur art and literature on the net.

So this isn't the kind of thing I normally post, but I really just feel the need to express it. And better this than bitching to someone in particular. 
 
I just feel really run down right now. 
 
Part of it is a lack of sleep that I never seem to be able to catch up on. 
 
Part of it is emotional exhaustion from dealing with the breakup. It doesn't help that I have to see Jocelyn at least every Tuesday and Thursday. It can be frustrating and downright painful just to be in the same room right now, to look at her and know that I can't do or say any of the things that had become so engrained in me over the past two and a half years, and made me feel so good. I want to feel them again. 
 
And part of it is mental exhaustion from worrying about all my school work/tests and wrestling with university. I really want a university degree. Not for a job or anything, it's just a personal goal of mine. And yet I hate attending classes and doing assignments and writing exams so very much. I would really love to just drop out, get my own place and work full time, to be done with school and get on with my life. But then all the time and money I've spent so far will just be a waste, and it'll be one more thing I didn't see through to the end. On the other hand, why spend even more time and money on something I hate doing? The problem is that I can't find anything to study that I actually enjoy enough or that I'm truly interested in. I thought I'd really love psychology, and I did at first. But I'm realizing that modern psychology is nothing but pathology, medication and animal testing. That's not what I'm interested in. What I want is the humanistic side, how we think and why we do the things we do - but not in purely scientific terms. There are a few classes I have thoroughly enjoyed taking, even with the work and the tests, but there are so many other requirements of a degree that I really don't want to do. I just wind up going in circles and end up confused and frustrated. 
 
It's exhausting.

last modified Nov 1, 2007, 15:28

Add a comment

Chin Up Babe

Keep that chin of yours up, it will get better, the sun will come out again. Just remember to relax and remember to put one foot in front of the other. Time will heal the wounds, and the good will always overshadow the bad.

*hugs* I'm around if you need me.

160301 | posted by CityKat on November 2, 2007, 21:56