Searching in the Darkness

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As the sun sets on this world again,
I'm plunged into the dark
Scouring this darkened plane,
I continue the search for my heart

Though the search seems hopeless,
I continue on in vain
Because I must find an end
To this neverending pain

Searching in the darkness
Stumbling in fear
As the search becomes more hopeless,
I sense the end is near

But as the darkness starts to lift,
And my fear and dread subside
I discover that my heart has found
A new place to reside

My thoughts and dreams are all of her
She captivates my heart
She's put an end to my search
And saved me from the dark

- Lex Larmon 2003

Please feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at:
lex_larmon@hotmail.com

Name the songs I include in my posts and win a gold star!

last modified Jan 5, 2005, 19:44

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Way hey hey, it's just an ordinary day...

Here, a little sympathy
For you to waste on me
I know you're faking it but that's okay...

Man, time flies when you're... I dunno, living life I guess. But when I started this weblog up again, I didn't want to let myself go for a week without posting. Even if they were pointless quiz posts. And so here we are.

I spent much of today in bed, with an aching and nauseous stomach (in addition to the usual sore back, neck and shoulders - I should probably get that looked at sometime). And the extent of my human contact was one of my parents bitching about the other one.

Already been invited to two Hallowe'en parties, and I can't attend either of them. Can't go to the Hallowe'en dance either. Why? Because I'll be spending 4 days (Friday to Monday) on the road and in Kingston for my uncle's wedding. Fun fact - he's 55 and it's his first marriage. Never say never Mom... Oh, and I get to lead a congregation of Christians in a prayer. And yet I don't share their faith... Go figure. I dunno, I don't really want to go, since I'd sooooo much rather be partying with my friends, but I guess it'll be nice to see my cousin from B.C. again, it's been a while. And I guess I'll get to meet the new in-laws (or outlaws, as the case may be). Who knows? Maybe I'll take the little ones trick-or-treating. Hurrah.

Well, the week has sucked so far (though I'm really starting to love Sundays...) but we'll see what tomorrow holds. Crap... tomorrow's Wednesday. Ugh. Anyway, I probably won't get a chance to post again until after I get back from K-town, which will be Monday or Tuesday. Of course, if it's Tuesday, I'll be breaking my one-week rule... Oh well.

I've got a book of matches
I've got a can of kerosene
I've got some bad ideas involving you and me
I don't blame you for walking away
I touched myself had thoughts of flames
I shat the bed and laid there in it
Thinking of you wide awake for days
Wide awake for days

And I found you tongue-tied in my twisted little brain
You couldn't crack a smile
I didn't catch your name
I don't blame you for walking away
I'd do the same if I saw me
I swear it's not contagious
In four short steps we can erase this

Step one -- slit my throat
Step two -- play in my blood
Step three -- cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four -- stop off at Edgebrook Creek and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn't meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one

I'm like a broken record
I've got a needle scratching me
It injects the poison of alcohol I.V.
I don't blame you for walking away
I'd do the same if I saw me
I swear it's not contagious
I swear to God it's not contagious

Step one -- slit my throat
Step two -- play in my blood
Step three -- cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four -- stop off at Lake Michigan and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn't meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one

This could be love - love for fire
This could be love - love for fire
This could be love - love for fire
This could be love for fire forevermore

Step one -- slit my throat
Step two -- play in my blood
Step three -- cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four -- stop off at Berkeley Marina and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn't meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one
One by one

When am I going to able to see TFN play again? Or even just see one of their members for that matter...

125969 | posted by Lex at 20:09 | 2 Comments | Comment on this entry

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Because I can

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

125312 | posted by Lex at 20:42 | 8 Comments | Comment on this entry

Monday, October 18, 2004

Shackled

For so long my life's been sewn up tight inside your hold
And it leaves me there without a place to call my own

I know now what shadows can see
There's no point in running 'less you run with me
It's half the distance through the open door
Before you cut me down
Again
Let me introduce you to the end

And I feel the cold wind blowing beneath my wings
It always leads me back to suffering
But I will soar until the wind whips me down
Leaves me beaten on unholy ground again

So tired now of paying my dues
I start out strong but then I always lose
It's half the distance before you leave me behind
It's such a waste of time

'Cause my shackles
You won't be
And my rapture
You won't believe
And deep inside you will bleed for me

So here I slave inside of a broken dream
Forever holding on to splitting seams
So take your piece and leave me alone to die
I don't need you to keep my faith alive

I know now what trouble can be
And why it follows me so easily
It's half the distance through the open door
Before you shut me down
Again
Let me introduce you to the end

'Cause my shackles
You won't be
And my rapture
You won't believe
And deep inside you will bleed for me

Though you know you care

'Cause my shackles
You won't be
And my rapture
You won't believe
And deep inside you will bleed for me

And my laughter
You won't hear
The faster
I disappear
And time will burn your eyes to tears

- Vertical Horizon

125007 | posted by Lex at 21:00 | 2 Comments | Comment on this entry

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Well, looks like everyone I care about is miserable... kinda makes me feel like an ass for being so happy.

Wednesdays will be the end of me yet...

124317 | posted by Lex at 10:40 | 4 Comments | Comment on this entry

Monday, October 11, 2004

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me

Oy... got that stuck in my head now...

Alright, I know I've been neglecting posting lately... But I've been either too busy with homework, deathly sick (Tuesday-Saturday), or just living such a boring life that it was pointless to post about it.

Anyway, like I said, I've been sick since Tuesday, which made for a lovely week... I ignored it until Thursday, when I was so dead I had to just go home. Nearly blacked out Wednesday... and Thursday... and Friday... And spent a boring long weekend at home recovering.

I'm gonna have a ton to catch up on at school... Plus that stupid english scene we have to act out tomorrow... Ugh. But on the bright side, I am all better now. Thanks Coka!

But despite the crappiness of the week and ensuing crappy weekend, the long weekend ended on a very good note. And that's all I'm going to say for now.

Ciao for now,

There's a neat little lass and her name is Mari Mac
Make no mistake, she's the girl I'm gonna track
Lot of other fellas try to get her on her back
But I'm thinking that they'll have to get up early

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Now Mari and her mother are an awful lot together
In fact you hardly see the one without the other
And people often wonder if it's Mari or her mother
Or both of them together I am courting

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Well up among the heather in the hills of Bonifee
Well I had a bonnie lass sitting on me knee
A bumble bee stung me right above me knee
Up among the heather in the hills of Benifee

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Well I said "Wee bonnie lassie, where you going to spend the day?"
She said "Among the heather in the hills of Benifee"
Where all the boys and girls are making out so free
Up among the heather in the hills of Benifee

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

The wedding's on Wednesday, everything's arranged
Soon her name will be changed to mine unless her mind be changed
And making the arrangements, I'm feeling quite deranged
Marriage is an awful undertaking

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Sure to be a grand affair, grander than a fair
Going to be a fork and plate for every man that's there
And I'll be a bugger if I don't get my share
If I don't we'll be very much mistaken

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

There's a neat little lass and her name is Mari Mac
Make no mistake, she's the girl I'm gonna track
Lot of other fellas try to get up on her back
I'm thinking that they'll have to get up early

Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me
My mother's making me marry Mari Mac
Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me
We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac

Now try singing that whole thing really, really quickly...

124003 | posted by Lex at 20:47 | 1 Comments | Comment on this entry

Saturday, October 2, 2004

It's late and I'm bored

DarkMagic
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!

Please rate ^^

What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

burning
Your soul is bound to the Burning Rose: The
Rapture.

"I go where my heart beckons me, and I go
with my head high. But sometimes, I get a need
until I bleed so my heart swims above my
head."

The Burning Rose is associated with passion,
intensity, and desire. It is governed by the
god Eros and its sign is The Flame, or Physical
Love.

As a Burning Rose, you can get lost in the moment
if you let yourself. You are a very physical
person, be it in relationships, work, or play.
You may be driven by your hormones sometimes,
but you know it's because you have to follow
your instinct.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

HASH(0x8b7e168)
Reincarnation: You are nice enough to go to heaven,
but Earth won't be as fun without you. So you
shall come back as someone or something else.
As a real optimist and lighthearted person, you
always see the good in things. People probably
respect you for your wonderful personality and
love for life. People like you make the world a
happier place (please rate my quiz)

**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

122867 | posted by Lex at 23:01 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry