Searching in the Darkness

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As the sun sets on this world again,
I'm plunged into the dark
Scouring this darkened plane,
I continue the search for my heart

Though the search seems hopeless,
I continue on in vain
Because I must find an end
To this neverending pain

Searching in the darkness
Stumbling in fear
As the search becomes more hopeless,
I sense the end is near

But as the darkness starts to lift,
And my fear and dread subside
I discover that my heart has found
A new place to reside

My thoughts and dreams are all of her
She captivates my heart
She's put an end to my search
And saved me from the dark

- Lex Larmon 2003

Please feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at:
lex_larmon@hotmail.com

Name the songs I include in my posts and win a gold star!

last modified Jan 5, 2005, 19:44

Friday, November 23, 2007

This won't break your heart
But I just think it could
Cause I haven't tried as hard as I should
To separate you from everything I do
But I would never want to come between us two

I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me
I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me

Now I'm thinking back
To what I said before
I hope your heart won't have to hurt anymore
Cause it's really not that sad from here
Because the moments I can feel you near
They keep you close to me my dear
And if they ever become too clear...

I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me
I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me

Now you've gone away
Don't worry it's okay
That you're gone away
Now you've gone away
Further than yesterday
But you'll never leave these scenes
My mind replays

I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me
I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said sometimes
So it reminds me

Where in the world have you gone now?

160429 | posted by Lex at 9:16 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Yeah, I know, more lyrics...

Push it out, fake a smile
Avert disaster, just in time
I need a drink, 'cause in a while
Worthless answers from friends of mine
It's dumb to ask, cool to ignore
Girls possess me, but they're never mine
I made my entrance, avoided hazards
Checked my engine, I fell behind

I fell behind

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, 'cause I'm a fuckin' boy

Remember when I was in the grocery store, now's my time
Lost the words, lost my nerve, lost the girl, left the line
I would wish upon a star, but that star, it doesn't shine
So read my book with a boring ending
A short story of a lonely guy

Who fell behind

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, 'cause I'm a fuckin' boy

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, cause I'm still just a stupid worthless boy

160394 | posted by Lex at 19:05 | 1 Comments | Comment on this entry

Monday, November 12, 2007

Bless you Tina Roy

It began in the shape of your silhouette
But day by day, it's taking more of my sight
And if I had to guess how big it will get
I'd say about the size of your life

It's been steady by my side
It's showing me loyalty that I have barely known
So I will gladly give it my eyes
And let it guide me wherever it wants to go

You left me this hole
That slowly, I am getting to know
Now there's a gap in my life
That I keep gazing into
Searching for a hint of your light
That might be wandering through

There's no other that could take it's place
In any case you left too much room behind to be filled
By people or silly things that keep trying to fit
Although I doubt that they ever will

Well you left my this hole
That slowly, I am getting to know
Now there's this gap in my life
That I keep gazing into
Searching for a hint of your light
That might be wandering through

And it began in the shape of your silhouette
But day by day it's taking more and more of my sight away
And if I had to guess how big it will get
I'd say about the size of your life

'Cause you left me this hole
That slowly, I am getting to know
Now there's this gap in my life
That I keep gazing into
Searching for a hint of your light
That might be wandering through

160368 | posted by Lex at 21:11 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Flogging Molly - The Worst Day Since Yesterday

Well I know, I miss more than hit
With a face that was launched to sink
And I seldom feel the bright relief
It's been the worst day since yesterday

If there's one thing I have said
Is that the dreams I once had, now lay in bed
As the four winds blow, my wits through the door
It's been the worst day since yesterday

Fallin' down to you sweet ground
Where the flowers they bloom
It's there I'll be found
Hurry back to me, my wild calling
It's been the worst day since yesterday

Though these wounds have seen no wars
Except for the scars I have ignored
And this endless crutch, well it's never enough
It's been the worst day since yesterday

Hell says hello, well it's time to I should go
To pastures green, that I've yet to see
Hurry back to me, my wild calling
It's been the worst day since yesterday
It's been the worst day since yesterday
It's been the worst day since yesterday

160331 | posted by Lex at 22:44 | 0 Comments | Comment on this entry

Thursday, November 1, 2007

So this isn't the kind of thing I normally post, but I really just feel the need to express it. And better this than bitching to someone in particular.

I just feel really run down right now.

Part of it is a lack of sleep that I never seem to be able to catch up on.

Part of it is emotional exhaustion from dealing with the breakup. It doesn't help that I have to see Jocelyn at least every Tuesday and Thursday. It can be frustrating and downright painful just to be in the same room right now, to look at her and know that I can't do or say any of the things that had become so engrained in me over the past two and a half years, and made me feel so good. I want to feel them again.

And part of it is mental exhaustion from worrying about all my school work/tests and wrestling with university. I really want a university degree. Not for a job or anything, it's just a personal goal of mine. And yet I hate attending classes and doing assignments and writing exams so very much. I would really love to just drop out, get my own place and work full time, to be done with school and get on with my life. But then all the time and money I've spent so far will just be a waste, and it'll be one more thing I didn't see through to the end. On the other hand, why spend even more time and money on something I hate doing? The problem is that I can't find anything to study that I actually enjoy enough or that I'm truly interested in. I thought I'd really love psychology, and I did at first. But I'm realizing that modern psychology is nothing but pathology, medication and animal testing. That's not what I'm interested in. What I want is the humanistic side, how we think and why we do the things we do - but not in purely scientific terms. There are a few classes I have thoroughly enjoyed taking, even with the work and the tests, but there are so many other requirements of a degree that I really don't want to do. I just wind up going in circles and end up confused and frustrated.

It's exhausting.

160297 | posted by Lex at 15:28 | 1 Comments | Comment on this entry