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I'm So...
I don't even know right now. I feel alone though I am surrounded by so many people. I talk to a lot of people and I do have a lot of friends and support, but I just feel this emptiness. It won't seem to go away. I want this feeling to leave. It's just like this big dark rain cloud filled with lonliness.
Some guy today opened the door for me and then stopped for a second before he let me pass. I was about to say thank you and he was like, "You have such pretty eyes". I was taken aback for a second and litterally had to shake myself. I don't remember the last time I heard something that specific. Well I can remember the last time I got "I love looking into your eyes". I think that means "you have pretty eyes"? I always get comments like, "Nice ass baby" or "Damn you look hot". Always yelled at me in a cat-call manner. Never really nice and I don't think I've ever taken it as a compliment. Except maybe from a certain person. But this one just hit me in an odd way. I just stared at him with my eyes wide and said, "Why thank you". And then just walked away. Then I heard him say to his friend after his friend laughed, "What? I can't resist girls with pretty eyes". It was pretty flattering in any case.
I have an exam tomorrow in Sociology and just started to study this afternoon. It's so hard. I hate learning about theories of people who existed like 100 years ago. Marx this, Durkheim that... How about we learn about Becker or Mead? How about lets shove this book into the toilet and flush it? I'll agree to flushing it... too bad i paid 45$ for the fucking thing. Stupid course books cost so much fucking money. I hate school.
last modified Mar 30, 2004 at 15:32
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