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"dengarlah bisikann hatiii..."
dengarlah..aku tengah tensen ni..rasa nak nangis jer..
minggu ni whole week aku gi training.kecuali hari ni.training ni best.lecturer dia best.semua pun best. aku try my best to be the best participant.aku bagi tau la kat trainer tu aku bhgian compression.but what surprise me was that dia ade tanya macam-macam jugak pasal compression.the details.so, aku as a beginner in this field, satu buku pun tak abeh baca, tak dapat jawab beberapa soklan.anyway,pada aku, i forgive myself sebab faktanya, memang aku beginner! what to expect from a beginner like me!..apa pun aku puas hati dengan training tu..banyak aku belajar. trainer pun excellent.dia tak kesah pun aku tak tahu.banyak-banyak soklan aku tanya dia jawab jer..
tapi wat dissappoint me is that..i have been looked as useless person..! i mean, maybe they didnt meant that, but i feel from their action. Balik-balik terus jer tanya.. "A mane?" (A ialah husb aku.dia pun bhgian compression macam aku).. tensen tau.sebab? aku memangla jeles dgn husb aku sebab dia tau banyak.tapi, aku takde la dengki kat dia dan nak burukkan nama dia..sebab yelaaa...takkan nak jatuhkan imej laki sendirik!..apa-apa pun mesti aku cakap husb aku lagi best.so, i see that everybody is looking at me as a person has nothing. No capabilities.no knowledge of any. semua depends pada laki.. Tau tak aku bengaaanngggg!!!!
why is this happen??? padahal, everybody has his own weaknesses and strength. Aku akui memang tak dapat tanding husb aku dari segi knowledge utk compression, programming vb,asp,linux,windows and some networking issues. Tapi, waktu dia blur nak buat system design,aku yang tolong managekan.startkan.design serba sikit so that he sees a clear idea on what is that.system requirement. aku design jugak.aku initiator.aku buat. so that dia ade clear idea. Testplan yang spatutnya dia buat.sapa buat? aku. follow IEEE standard. setebal over 20 pages. aku design.aku buat.nak pecah kepala 2-3 hari...
tapi, no body see this.apa-apa pun semua husb aku yang dapat nama. sedeeyyyyyy!! aku macam malukut tepi gantang. hanya husb aku jer yang tau who is really working in here, and who is just want to finish a work.mmm....kenapa org selalu fikir perempuan has low capabilities as compared to men?..kenapa ade fikiran camtu? apa aku cakap memang tak de sape nak dengar.eventhough apa yang aku cakap tu sama jer dgn apa yang trainer cakap...frust frust!...they ONLYwant to hear from people that they WANT to hear, eventhough he is totally not answering the question!..people like me? my words are just gone with the wind....sedih sangat tau sekarang ni..
last modified Oct 7, 2004 at 3:02
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