And I said to God "Why Me?" and God said to me "Why Not?"

 
 
Music: Existentialism On Prom Night -Straylight Run 
 
O ME! O life!  
Of the questions of these recurring,  
Of the endless trains of the faithless,  
Of cities fill'd with the foolish,  
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I,  
and who more faithless?)  
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the  
struggle ever renew'd,  
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see  
around me,  
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me  
intertwined,  
The question, O me! so sad, recurring-What good amid these,  
O me, O life?  
 
The Answer, that you are here. 
That life exists and identity,  
That the powerful play goes on,  
And you may contribute a verse.  
What will be your verse?

Mar 2004

Stupid blog messing up on me and deleting posts on me. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i think i fixed it tho.

98147 | angryguitarfreak | 5:18 | 1 comments

Mar 2004

Shopping!

Got back from a cruise where all i did was read, and shop (mostly not of my own free will) to go and do what?? shop from 3-6:30pm today! It wasn't that bad, but i could perfect shopping. These girls have it all wrong, trying on sexy stuff and not showing me, goin to more than 2 stores. Sheesh! It's like they've never heard of this concetp we call time. It gets wasted so easily, and you can't get it back! So precious...my precious....my only...my one....It wasn't all that bad though. I got to hang out with my gf, wich is always good no matter what we are doin. And i did get to see some of the outfits (:D), but honestly! Nothin i ain't seen before, but that doesn't meen i don't wanna see it again!!!!!!! Oh, and if you want to check if your tits fall out of a bikini top by jumping, please don't hesitate to check in front of me. I don't mind. No Manda tomorow! doctors appointment! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! what am i supposed to do now? lol

96478 | angryguitarfreak | 20:52 | 5 comments

Mar 2004

WoW!

Today started off as ass, because yesterday was ass. Got to the airport at 9:30am, flight was schedualed for depature at 3:20pm. Heres how there airport was set up: Picture 1000m (yes 1000) line, to wait inline for the 300m line, for the 100m line for the 50m line to get your boarding passes. Then theres another 500m line to go through security. by the time we got to the gate, it was 3:00pm, and the flight was boarding. Thats 5 hours in line ppl. Now, a 4 hour flight, followed by a 3 hour stop over, then a 1 hour flight, then 2 hours getting off the plain and through customs and such, 1/2 an hour to catch the bus, 20 mins to get luggadge to car then to the hotel room. I get the shitty couch bed, which to my dismay has the sheets that cause an allergic reaction with my skin. Will anyone share a bed with me? Nope, floor sleepin in a cold room with no blankets yay! now get up at 6, jump in car at 7 and drive to berrie. eat, and let my brother go to his toy store (approximate delay in berrie 1 and 1/2 hours) then drive home. Wow that was ass. That being said, after i called Amanda,things started getting better and better by the moment. We hung out, exchanged precious items (her necklace for my guitar) and went to the movies. She came back, we had supper and rented more movies. It ruled. Had so much fun with her it was unbelieveable. Never again will i go away for a week without her! Its nive to be back thats for sure. i gotta go tho, its late and i have to wake up early.

96315 | angryguitarfreak | 21:28 | 1 comments

Mar 2004

Back Sunday!

YAY! aint it great? I've just about got my dad convinced to drive back to sudbury at 1 am ish saturday night/sunday morning. Hey amanda, he says we can hang out when i get back, do you want to hang out sunday?

95758 | angryguitarfreak | 14:55 | 3 comments

Mar 2004

OOO an Update!

Yup, this be an update. Im just really bored. Sittin on this ship, so far away from ppl. all there is to do is relax, eat and shop (sounds like paradise, but there are no guitars, AND no good heavy metal songs to listen to. grrrr). And, it seems my muse for poetry has taken a sabatical and has failed to return (or maybe i left her in sudbury....lol). I have to keep a journal offline, to expensive to stay on long enough to type up the posts i want to, i'll post em all when i get back. lol. ttyl

95135 | angryguitarfreak | 18:16 | 3 comments

Mar 2004

This song is depressing, its a good song.

Oooooo! Ironic lyrics (to me). Gotta love situational irony, right? Isn't irony great? Mhmmmm ...

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay
Forever haunted, more than afraid
Asphyxiate on words I would say
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue

There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines
Just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak
I'd share with you could I only speak
Just how much this hurts me

I cannot stay here, I cannot leave
Just like all I loved, I'm make-believe
Imagined heart, I disappear
Seems...no one will appear here and make me real

There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines
Just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak
I'd share with you could I only speak
Just how much this hurts me

I'd tell you how it haunts me
I'd tell you how it haunts me
(Goes through my day and seeps into my dreams)
(Goes through my day and seeps into my dreams)
You don't care that it haunts me...Oh

There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines
Just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak
I'd share with you could I only speak
Just how much this hurts me
Just how much this hurts me
Just how much you

leaving in a bit, its gonna suck and be awesome at the same time.

94613 | angryguitarfreak | 7:39 | 0 comments

Mar 2004

*crash and burn*

What an eventful couple of days its been. Got alot of stuff out in the open. Not sure if it was smart though. Asked a girl out, crashed and burned. Friend factor, grrrrrrrr. Though, her logic is somewhat flawed. She told me not to think what if, but the principal reason she shot me down is...you guessed it what if! Mhmmm, im not allowed to think what if we do go out, and it works out. But she is allowed to think, what if it doesnt and we arent best friends anymore. Add to that, the fact that im leaving for a week and wont see her and grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Just grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. The Irony Of Life, wow. It's just amazing when you think about it, i mean listen to this. The one thing i've wanted for a long time, is a girlfriend. I've pretty much found that, she is my best friend and we spend almost everday together (she sleeps at my house days on end, which i dont mind). Its almost perfect. I like her, she likes me. Now, normally this would be the start of an awesome relationship. But no, theres those goddam 'what if's' that get in the way,so instead we remain plateaud. It really makes me think, the one think i truly want, its just centimeters away, and i still cant reach it. Grrrrrr.

94527 | angryguitarfreak | 21:43 | 4 comments

Mar 2004

Screw it, im gonna put one up. And the sucide is metaphorical

So confused
Head spinning
Don't know what
To believe
World upside down
Need to relieve
The preassure
I'm under
Your words
Are all double entendres
Two meanings
The one i want to hear,
And the other
A kiss returned
A hand held
A loving caress
All lies
Lies to me
And to you
A lie i want
So desperatly to believe
So badly you decieve
I hope
For my sake
This lie
Becomes a truth
Without this truth
I will destoy
Everything in my wake
Not the path i wish
To take
But one i see
Down the road
The only way
To avoid my wrath
Is to get down on one knee
And load a gun
Presented to me
So i may end this facade

94095 | angryguitarfreak | 21:14 | 4 comments

Mar 2004

hehe shitty poem time....

Yeah, im actually gonna post one on my not secret blog....on second thought off to my secret blog we go....or maybe my profile in msn. i dont need ppl lookin at me all funny.

93164 | angryguitarfreak | 19:02 | 7 comments

Mar 2004

Back at skewl

I'm still pretty sick. I can breath again though, thats always good. Now its just talking, which hurts alot. If i drink or have a halls in my mouth I can talk, but other than that it sounds like I am losing my voice. I'm not going to karate tonight, when I go outside i can taste the blood in the back of my throat, not good. I'm just gonna sit at home, maybe go to a movie. Have a test today in computer sciences. YAY!!!! It shouldnt be that hard, the class is really easy.
I'm really bored, as you might have noticed, I hate science and its my home room. Grrrr......I'm gonna go sleep through homeroom now.

92881 | angryguitarfreak | 6:44 | 1 comments

Mar 2004

YAY! I'm sick

What fun, can hardly breath. couldnt talk this morning. least my voice is comin back, still hurts to talk tho. OOO HMWK!!! What fun, and a test tomorrow! Even more fun. Blew my play test yesterday, you have no idea how hard it is to play the sax with a soar throat(unless you've done it before) while you are losing your voice. Now, plug ur nose so u cant breath. Now, get all nervous as a class full of ppl you dont know looks at you while you try to get ur sax to make a sound. He he, once i got goin i didnt stop. Rushed right through that piece. Least i hit the right notes tho, and i had good slurs according to jesse (it was all one giant slur). Oh well, onto hmwk, than a little of my new addiction (god its addicting).

92739 | angryguitarfreak | 14:00 | 1 comments