And I said to God "Why Me?" and God said to me "Why Not?"

 
 
Music: Existentialism On Prom Night -Straylight Run 
 
O ME! O life!  
Of the questions of these recurring,  
Of the endless trains of the faithless,  
Of cities fill'd with the foolish,  
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I,  
and who more faithless?)  
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the  
struggle ever renew'd,  
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see  
around me,  
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me  
intertwined,  
The question, O me! so sad, recurring-What good amid these,  
O me, O life?  
 
The Answer, that you are here. 
That life exists and identity,  
That the powerful play goes on,  
And you may contribute a verse.  
What will be your verse?

Feb 2006

Torture....

I havent experienced physical torture, but man this psychological warefare is a bitch. I think I'm done. I have decided that no one likes me, I have no shot with anyone and that its not about to change for a while. So screw you guys I'm going home. I don't particularly need/want to deal with this crap now. So to hell with it. The Mind Games are over. Now if only I can convince myself to believe this tripe we can all be happier.

152019 | angryguitarfreak | 19:41 | 0 comments

Feb 2006

It occurs to me that I shouldn't have to moderate my thoughts for fear that someone may read them and take action, but I must...

151946 | angryguitarfreak | 13:23 | 0 comments

Feb 2006

Girls Frustrate me.....

They really do. I started to like this one girl, turns out I had a snowballs chance in hell of actually landing her. So I half moved on and starting trying to get another girl. Turns out, I dont have a snowballs chance in hell with the first girl, and she kind of likes me and is liking me more the more she gets to know me, its more like a deer crossing the highway (usually possible, but may end in disaster). AND I've managed to get a schrodingers date with the other girl (think schrodingers cat, you cant actually know if it was a date or not, until after its over and any attempt to find out before hand promptly explodes your head). Now here is the really frustrating part: they're friends with each other. So if it turns out that according to some cosmic joke they both end up liking me im screwed (cosmic joke because i have horrendusly bad luck with girls, and this seemingly good luck is poised to blow up on me) becuase i'll piss one off which will in turn piss the other off.

151686 | angryguitarfreak | 23:04 | 0 comments

Feb 2006

Calm down chris...

Calm down....FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes my mom really pisses me off. Like tonitght while I was out, under the guise of cleaning my room and putting closthe away she turns up a few empties and half empty bottles of booze. *gasp* Not chris you say, you mean he occasionaly drinks socially? No, I thought he was above that. Well, yes I must admit I do. I rarely get drunk, NEVER drink and drive and I'm usually pretty responisible about it. Back to the guise. Most of the empties and half empty bottles were into drawers that do not, never have and never will contain closthe and that I rarely even venture into (hence they pile up till i look for em and clean em). So 6 months later, (havent been drunk in about that long) I've forgotten about it and thats when I get shit. We can forget that she snooped in my room, went out of her way to find the bottles, took them out sat up and waited for me. We can forget that I havent been drunk in forever, have never been hospitolised because of it, been arrested for it, failed a class because of it, become addicted to it or any number of other horrible possibilities. NOPE none of that has happened. I drink socially on occasion, and rarely at that. Done the stupid thing of getting really drunk once, dont care to repeat it. Simple as that. So yeah, she gets to completly violate my privacy, because 'shes the parent' and then call me out for it. She even admits that, it was a dirty thing to do, and that It hasnt caused me any problems, and that I never drink too much. But shes the parent, so nyah!!! Well if I'm going to be punished, it might aswell be for something good. I figure I should show up at school, drink a whole 40, puke on bourget and then call the cops on myself. That way i can be hospitolised, arrested and all that good stuff, cause a lot of problems and stir up alot of shit just to prove my point. I'm a good kid, 99% of the time i do exactly what they want, I just like a shot or two every now and then with friends. A crime? Maybe. Evil? No. I think the worst part is that if the cops pulled this, it would be an illegal search and seisure and id get off scott free. Cause theres no evidence of alcohol abuse, no reciets or LCBO bags sticking out nothing. No reason to search for it. No reason to go into those drawers. She was just snooping, found some dirt and gave me shit for it. Its a nice big grey area (who is more wrong? i shouldnt have booze, she should respect my privacy like i do hers) but she gets to turn it into a black and white im evil she is pure thing because 'shes the parent'. I swear to god, and myself that I will NEVER pull this shit on my kid(s).

151632 | angryguitarfreak | 19:52 | 0 comments

Feb 2006

Always

This always happens,
So I don't blame you.
I'm always forgotten,
Not Matter who.

The same old pattern,
Presented by fate.
My deepest desires
Dangled like bait.

Just out of reach,
But always there,
Trying to snatch it
While I wallow in despair.

And then it's gone.
Stolen by a nameless face
Falaunted in front of me,
To ensure my disgrace.

It's always like this,
I don't know why
But I don't blame you
Good-bye.

151511 | angryguitarfreak | 9:50 | 0 comments