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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Does anyone remember this old SNL skit? Whenever I say, "I'm just a caveman, your world confuses me..." to people, they just look at me blankly as if I'm crazy. Of course, then I'm left sputtering, "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer! Didn't you ever see the skit on Saturday Night Live? You know? Sheesh!"
last modified Sep 5, 2002 at 10:24
Cirroc fan,
He is just as funny today as he was 1 million years ago when this skit oozed out of the bogs of SNL's braintrust. Thanks for the hilarious recap.
ANNOUNCER: Centuries ago a caveman was walking along the icey tundra and slipped and fell into a cravass. He was frozen alive and years later was thawed out by a group of scientists. He went to law school and became a lawyer. Music...
SINGERS: He used to be a caveman and now he's a lawyer... Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!
CIRROC: Ladies and Gentleman of the jury... I'm just a caveman. Your world frightens and confuses me. It makes me want to... get out of my BMW... and run off into the hills... or... whatever.
So when my client slipped and fell in the defendant's store I believe he is due no less than 1 million dollars in compensatory damages. and 1 million dollars in punitive damages. Thank you.
JUDGE: Mr. Cirroc's words really are just as true today as they were in his time: I'm awarding the plaintiff with the full amount.
crowd muttering in astonishment. Cirroc on his cell phone.
JUDGE: (knocking gavel) Mr Cirroc did you hear my summation?
CIRROC: (to the phone: yeah... yeah hold on a sec) Oh I'm sorry your honor I was just listening to these magical voices coming out of this strange modern invention!
ANNOUNCER: NEXT WEEK ON UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER...
Cirroc in airplane seat -- clearly drunk.
CIRROC: (slurred) Waitress, waitress, gimme another drink.
STEWARDESS: I'm sorry sir. I think you've had enough.
CIRROC: (slurred) but I'm just a caveman... and I'm frightened by your big flying machine. So get me a Dewar's and water pronto, 'kay?
the sax player for the newkings is the boy in this picture. son of unfrozen caveman lawyer.
sometimes....I've gotta get out of my BMW...and run for the hills...or WHATEVER.
hey stewardess get me another drink!
The phone in the pic does look a bit Neolithic!
Now get me a Dewar's and water, pronto.
you used to be a caveman,and now you are a lawyer;Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!
brought to you by National Escort Service and Happy Fun Ball!
Cheers
My unfrozen counterpart was a tad more persuasive in the courtroom than I. Perhaps if I had acknowledged my primitiveness as per Cirroc (the both of us "fish out of water," as it were), then I too could have been the inspiration for a sketch or two. Alas, "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer" was one of the best SNL skits ever, and I truly believe the concept could have made it on the big screen.
Yeah, I sure do miss those great SNL actors who have passed... Chris Farley, John Belushi, Phil Hartman,...
I well remember that Caveman lawyer sketch. He also wondered if the security cameras at the department store were stealing his soul.
His words really are just as true today as they were in his time: The man who slips and falls in the grocery store deserves no less than 4 million dollars in compensatories and 10 million in punitives.
It's a comfort to know that I'm not alone in my eclectic (or is it eccentric?) tastes!
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer is one of my favorite SNL skits.
Don't feel stupid! I love Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer! I even remember the song!
(I saw you noted on blogs4god.com, if you're wondering where I came from. )
So, now that you know, let's try again.
"I'm just a caveman..."
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