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dan jendela pun berbisik...
"Life is not about what you've gained, but what you've done" - Wong Ka Kui (1962 - 1993)
"I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it" - The Friends of Voltaire, 1906
"A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste" - Anonymous
"If you read, you will judge" - Kurt Cobain
last modified Mar 17, 2005 at 0:17
currently listening to: You'll Never Walk Alone - Liverpool FC theme song (because they won last night) 
mood: mellow
To Hanyasayang and Zaza:
I am sorry I didn't tell you about the radio slot. I guess I am too much of a coward to tell y'all. So, a thousand apologies and thank you for your supports.
To Carlos:
Thanks man! You are like an angel who always come at the right moment to "raise me up". Thanks for the word of encouragement.
To kulatkulat :
I guess we had shared the same experience, cold feet and all. hehehe...thanks for believing in me. ;-)
currently listening to: Alirio Diaz - Bach_Fuga (In A minor)
mood: furious
aku kalau marah memang suka dengar classical guitar. sbb tu mp3 aku penuh ngan musik2 andre segovia dan alirio diaz. bila dengar musik dia org barulah aku blh nak cool down sikit. ni semua boss akulah punya pasal ni.
boss: siti, i want you to sit down and discuss this with the others. apparently, we have been given a 15-minute slot to talk about our service on the radio.
aku: that's cool. so who is going to be on air?
boss: you will.
aku: what??? gulp.
apa ke jadah aku plak yg nak kena on air? bukan ke tu tugas sales exec atau customer support. aku punya job description takde cakap pun aku kena buat benda2 camni. sheesh! aku bencilah benda2 camni.
selama ni apa je cabaran yg boss aku lontar kat aku, aku boleh buat Alhamdulillah! tapi benda yg satu ni aku tak rasa aku boleh. aku ni kalau nak bercerita dgn kawan2 sendiri pun ambik masa nak pikir ayat2, inikan pulak kena cakap pasal kerja secara live where semua org boleh dengar. panik gila aku. aku ni dah ler tak suka bercakap ngan orang. wei, camna ni!
i dont want to end up making a fool of myself. siotlah boss aku ni. aku memang tak suka deal ngan org bukan sbb aku tak suka org, masalahnya aku ni pemalu giler. stage-fright toksah cakap ler. tolonglah aku. aku tak sangguplah buat benda2 ni. ni dah jadi balik macam kes masa aku study dulu ni.
dulu masa pre-degree, aku kena ambik subject english 6 bulan lamanya. dlm enam bulan tu, macam2 kena buat, drama, impromptu dan jugak jadi DJ radio.
assignmentnya kena hasilkan satu program radio, aku kena jadi DJnya, pemilihan lagu, skrip dan konsep rancangan semua sendiri dan in English. aku sukalah kalau buat skrip dan pilih lagu tapi nak jadi DJ tu yg aku payah sikit tu. dah ler suara tak sedap. ish! berat.
aku memang suka philosophy. so aku punya konsep program, rancangan permintaan lagu yang berbentuk philosophy. konon2nya pendengar kalau nak tujukan lagu mesti guna falsafah2 agunglah macam falsafah Socrates ke, Plato ke, Freud atau Confucius. contohnya macam ni:-
hi(DJ)! I would like to dedicate this song to my ex-boyfriend and I would like him to know that (the quote) : By nature men are pretty much alike; it is learning and practice that set them apart."
lebih kurang camtulah konsep program aku. bila hari nak rekod tu tiba, belum apa2 aku dah gabra semacam. padahal yg ada dlm studio tu aku dgn abg technician tu jer. tah berapa kali tah kena ulang sbbnya aku panik semacam, suara menggigil. asyik aaa! aaa! jer memanjang. padahal tengok skrip tu. ish! rasa nak menangis pulak bila ingat balik, kelakar pun ada gak ni. senang cakap assignment tu tidak membantu langsung menaikkan markah aku. and from that day, i knew wasn't cut out to be a DJ. :-( alah, lagi pun bukan cita2 aku pun nak jadi DJ, cuma kesal sbb tak berjaya buat yg terbaik utk assignment tu.
aku ada lagi simpan kaset tu. kadang2 bila aku rasa nak memalukan diri sendiri aku bukaklah dengar. diy dgn zal pun pakat gelak bila dengar, aku tak salahkan dia org pun kalau gelak. memang bangang semacam cara aku bercakap. bencilah!
abih tu, sekarang ni boss aku nak suruh aku ditemuramah plak oleh dj radio pasal service kita org. dia boss yg gilalah. aku rasakan aku patut bagi dia dengar kaset aku tu, biar dia sawan berbuih mulut. jadi tak payah le aku buat benda tu. yelah tu sitinesta, wishful thinking again. nak tak nak, aku kena jugak buat benda ni. arrangement semua dah buat, tinggal nak on air je ni.
Aduh mak! Ada beratus rama-rama dalam perut aku sekarang menunggu saat itu...Bak kata Jamie Aditya dalam program discovery travel and adventurenya, I will either Sync or Swim....wish me luck guys!
Like a cat, the Rossonerri had probably used all nine of their lives to come back from a "deadly situation", well, a two-goal deficit actually.
What a comeback! And the jinx about not winning the derby without Maldini had been broken. The back four led by Nesta were so solid that both Adriano and Vieri rarely got a chance to score.
I'd been watching countless Milan derbies and this was by far the most bizarre especially Inter's two goals. Though quite entertaining, the match didn't have the, shall I say nail-biting kind of suspensed. I was pretty disappointed.
For the life of me, I don't understand how huge clubs like Milan and Inter do not possess a great stadium. The San Siro badly needs a makeover, I mean the turf condition was so atrocious, it's embarassing. Enough said.
With Inter missing a few key players including Cannavaro, Emre and Matterazzi to injuries and ban, I thought Milan would have an easy game. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
Inter's captain Javier Zanetti and winger Kily Gonzales more than make up for their absence. Kily is such a great player and I really admire him since his Valencia days.
Can anyone who watched the game explain Inter first goal? It's just so bizarre. A Stankovic corner took a funny bounce and went in. With a goal like that, you have no one to blame. The second goal was even weirder because Christiano Zanetti shot from the edge of the box was punched out by Dida but it took a wicked deflection and went in. I couldn't believe my eyes.
On Milan's side, Pirlo, Sheva and Rui were really invisibled that night. Both Kaka and Seedorf were the hard workers of Milanista, playing deep in defense when needed and contributed a few shots on goal. Inter's back four made it impossibled for Milan to penetrate hence the long range shots by Kaka and Seedorf which produced goals to the delight of the tifosis.
Actually, Tomasson who came in for Rui won Milan's first goal on the 57th min. It's a loose ball but what the heck, that's what poachers are for, right? Kaka's long range shot was pure class, this wonder kid is pure class, period. Seedorf on his good day could create wonderful performance because he is a tough, strong player and can be equally good at defense as well as attack.
Adriano-Vieri-Kily partnership was actually a deadly one if not for the strong Milan defense. Costacurta, Cafu, Nesta and Kaladze stood up to them. Nesta was his usual calm, elegant and commanding style. He picked up a yellow card and an injury courtesy of Adriano.
Milan won but at what price!!!. Nesta was injured and would miss the Champions League game against Sparta. :-(
Forza Milan! 5 points clear of Roma, 6 points clear of Juve. Not bad! Forza Milan!
phone aku berbunyi seawal jam 8 pagi hari sabtu hari tu. siot!!sape yg berani tepon aku pagi2 buta ni.
aku: ello!
kakak: wei, kenduri dah nak start, kau kat mane ni?
aku: kenduri? kenduri apa? kenduriiiiiiii...wei, bukan besok ke kenduri?
kakak: kau gila apa, hari tu kan dah decide buat hari ni.
aku: ye ke? abih tu pukul berapa start?
kakak: pukul 11. cepat sikit balik tu.
aku: sempat lagi nak balik ni. rilekslah.
kakak: jgn nak balik makan jer, baca yassin sekali.
aku: yelah!yelah!
aku pun apa lagi terus bersiap. bertolak pukul 8.45 sampai seremban pukul 9.30. itu pun sbb kereta byk. sampai rumah, aku tengok ada khemah semua. mak aku ada lak kat depan rumah. mulut aku pun gatal tanya mak aku "ni kenduri doa selamat ke kenduri kawin,". sekali mak aku cakap "a'ah mak saje buat khemah ni, nak tunggu kau kawin lambat sangat,".
aduh, berdesing telinga aku bila mak aku cakap camtu. yelah, mak aku tak pernah bising2 pasal kawin ni tapi sekali sekala bila terkeluar cakap tu, sedih gak le aku dengar. entahlah, aku kalau mak aku nak apa2 pun cakap jelah, aku akan usahakan. hatta mak aku nak mintak rumah sebijik pun aku sanggup pi pinjam bank. tapi mak aku tak penah pun mintak semua tu. duit pun tak penah. tapi dlm bab2 kawin ni memang di luar kawalan aku, jadi susah sikit ler aku nak tunaikan. (ampun mak!)
kat dapur semua org tgh sibuk memasak. tengok abg ipar aku tgh masak kari ayam. ada masak lemak cili api daging salai, sambal udang, sayur campur dan buah2an. bestnya.
majlis kenduri doa selamat, tahlil dan kesyukuran semua sekali. anak buah aku dpt mrsm rupanya. tahniah karim. nantilah maksu belikan lu something. bila duduk adik beradik baca yassin ni teringat zaman aku kecik2 kalau sembahyang mesti berjemaah anak beranak. aku dgn abang aku selalulah tak kusyuk, nak gelak2. jahat betul aku dua beradik. lps tu adalah abg aku yg sorang tu ngadu kat bapak aku, dua2 kena belasah, nyesal. sampai aku sekolah menengah rendah jugaklah kita org continue sembahyang berjemaah. sekarang ni tengok abang aku ajak anak2 buah sembahyang berjemaah, sejuk sikit hati tengok.
kawan aku liza pun dtg meramaikan majlis. happy sikit aku sbb dah lama gak tak jumpa dia. tapi biasanya kalau ada kenduri kendara kat rumah aku, liza jarang tak dtg, dari zaman sekolah lagi. thanks liza.
lepas kenduri semua org keletihan, pengsan semuanya. petang tu aku cakap nak balik KL. dia org semua tanya apa hal aku nak balik KL lak. aku cakap ada hal sikit. lepas baca doa akhir tahun, aku pun bertolak balik. abang aku cakap drive carefully. alamak rasa berdosanya aku. w/p aku akan dtg balik esok tapi aku rasa bersalah yg amat sgt sbb aku balik ke KL kerana aku nak tengok BOLA. aku tak boleh miss game ni. Milan derby. tak boleh. ini game yg aku tunggu2 dan ish! tak boleh, aku tak boleh miss game ini. Ya Allah! Ampunkanlah dosa aku...
aku terjumpa sebuah puisi yg aku kira sgt indah dan aku tunduk kagum dgn manusia ini kerana dia mampu hasilkan puisi seindah ini.
Buat Sireum, aku pinjam puisi kamu untuk sekali ini, kerana aku jatuh cinta dgn bait-baitnya.
suamiku seorang pelukis
dilukisnya cinta dalam kanvas batinku
ratusan warnanya diambil dari pelangi
dilukisnya laut dalam mataku
birunya pecah menjadi airmata
dilukisnya rumah di punggungku
sebagai tempat kembali
sebuah pengembaraan yang panjang
dan anakku adalah mahakarya terbesar
yang dilukisnya dalam rahimku.
Currently listening to: GODSMACK -Serenity
Mood: Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!
I've got so many things to celebrate today. I celebrate my colleagues' birthday (two of them) actually, this morning. It's kind of a ritual for a small unit like us. Everybody's birthday is celebrated and that's one of the things that I love the most.
I've consumed so much food I felt bloated already. I mean who could resist the Secret Recipe's Frozen Orange Cake. Yum! Yum! My favourite and I was given the honour by the birthday girl to choose the cake.
I love to celebrate birthday. Once upon a time, i had promised myself to celebrate all my birthdays come what may. And I had never missed a single one since I was a teenager.
What is so special about birthday anyway? Well, it's very special to me maybe because I didn't get a chance to celebrate it when I was young. I had my first birthday party when I was 16 and I celebrated it at a friend's house after school. Nothing spectacular really, the cake was even sponsored by my friend's mom. But the atmosphere and the feel good feeling that lingered in the air made birthday an unforgettable occassion.
Nowadays, my bros and sis also didn't miss a single birthday either for their children or themselves. I guess we shared the same birthday bugs. hehehe...It's the sharing that was most significant in my humble opinion because you're sharing the day of your birth with your loved one.
In a way, we always promised ourselves to do things that we couldn't do or have during our childhood. Some wanted to travel because they never got a chance to travel when they were young. Yours truly just wanted to have a nice birthday everytime. hehehe...
Another occassion to celebrate was about my colleague having the gut to leave this agency. In a way I am sad that he's going to leave us but at the same time happy that he's turning a new leaf. Good Luck my friend! Arriverdeci!
perjalanan 15 minit ke kelas menjadi hampir 40 minit gara2 jalan yg jam di petang sabtu. mood aku jadi tak menentu. sampai ke kelas dgn hati yg berbuku. belajar pun sudah tiada makna. aku pulang dgn sedikit ilmu walaupun tidak seceria selalu. aduh! perjalanan pulang buat aku semakin terseksa, jalanraya sudah bertukar menjadi seperti neraka. hati aku sudah penuh bara. ada apa dgn mid valley tu? a'ah aku cuma mahu pulang ke rumah...
hari sabtu, hari manusia berpasangan berbunga-bungaan. aku kebosanan. diy ke melaka kerana ada urusan dan zal mengurung diri menghabiskan thesis yg sudah kelambatan dan yang ada hanya gendon yg kemalasan.
daripada petang sabtu hingga ke awal pagi isnin, aku menjadi seorang "couch potato". daripada liga super ke FA Cup hingga ke Liga Sepanyol, semuanya aku tonton. aku jadi mabuk bola. daripada cerita kartun ke art movie hinggalah ke dokumentari, semuanya aku tengok. tv tidak ditutup daripada petang sabtu hinggalah jam terakhir sebelum aku pergi kerja pukul lapan pagi tadi. aku tidak memijak tanah sepanjang hari ahad.
oh! aku jamming lagu sheila on 7 dgn zal bila dia sudah mahu muntah mengadap buku2nya. gitar dia dan gitar aku bersatu menghasilkan lagu itu. sumbang sana sini tapi aku puas. aaaaaah!ujung minggu yg malas...
akhirnya dapat gak tengok CSI-Season Three malam tadi setelah menunggu sekian lama. kat singapore dah nak habis season dah. lambat betul ler astro ni.
bestnyerlah tengok CSI. 10 thn dulu masa aku first discover buku Patricia Cornwell, aku jatuh cinta giler dgn dunia forensik/patologi ni. nasib baik kat kedai buku auntie (Plaza Library) kat Seremban tu ada byk buku Patricia, kenyang gila baca. aku jadi obses dgn Dr Kay Scarpetta. aku kagum dgn profiler yg boleh teka dgn tepat profil penjenayah macam wesley benton dlm cerita2 Cornwell. aku stop baca cerita perempuan ni bila dia bunuh watak wesley ni secara kejam. cis!
mula2 bila kawan aku zura kenalkan buku ni aku refuse nak baca sbb aku rasa terlalu graphic dan teknikal sgt tapi bila baca betul2 balik, best giler. selalulah berangan2 nak jadi forensik. masa tulah nyesal tak ambik science stream.
bila aku dah start keja thn 1998, aku byk pegi PC polis dan masa ni tahap obses aku kat bidang forensik ni dah capai tahap maksimum sampai siap pinjam buku forensic ketua polis jbtn masa tu. wah! bestnya buku tu FBI punya, gambar2 dlm tu, wallau! byknya jenayah pelik2 kat US.
apa2 pun, aku paling kagum dgn ketua forensik kat hospital seremban, Dr Sharifah. Dah la cantik, lembut, pandai dan very humble. seronok bila borak dgn dia pasal dunia forensik ni. terlopong2 aku bila tengok dia pegang tulang2 manusia kat bilik mayat tu. bukan sedikit cabaran yg dia lalui. malah dia pernah dituduh sebagai kafir oleh keluarga mangsa. paling sedih katanya kalau nak bedah siasat mayat bayi atau kanak2. aku dapat bayangkan perasaan dia.
tahun berganti tahun, aku tak jadi pun pakar forensik tapi minat aku kat dunia forensik ni masih menebal. sbb tu aku grateful sgt kat org yg cipta series CSI ni. hehehe...bila dia org nak explore forensic sculptor pulak ye? itu lagi eerie...
aku memang dah lama nak pegi kedai buku skoob ni sejak ia kat brickfields lagi. tapi selalulah tangguh2. masalahnya, aku kalau pegi kedai buku mesti nak beli punyalah, takde duit tapi nak beli jugak. camna pun nak jugak pergi kedai buku ni sbb aku rasa ia macam best je.
so, lepas kelas gitar hari sabtu hari tu, aku terus ajak zal dgn diy pergi Mutiara Majestic kat Jalan Othman. sebenarnya, tiga2 tak tahu tempat ni tapi main agak jer. nasib baik jumpa.
hari tu aku main lagu happy birthday dan buat aku tersenyum (sheila on 7). best jugak. asyik nak tergelak je bila belajar main lagu happy birthday. jadi kelakar pulak. lagu buat aku tersenyum pun boleh tahan senang. tapi flat giler lagu ni, kena tune flat dulu gitar gua. bila aku nak mampu beli tuner nih!!
bila sampai kat skoob dah pukul 5 lebih. fulamak, jatuh cinta dgn kedai ni. klasik habis tempat dia. serene je rasa bila ada kat situ. background music pulak soothing. ada meja kecik utk main chess. bestnya. dah lama tak main chess ngan zal. nanti-nantilah.
kebetulan pulak hujan kat luar sana tu, jadi rasa makin damai dlm kedai ni, rasa nak tidur pun ada jugak. hehehe... ada satu dua org je dlm kedai tu selain kita org pun.
aku teruja bila nampak novel Pramoedya Ananta Toer - The Fugitive. klasik tu. tapi mahallah pulak. zal ada yg dlm bahasa indon punya tapi aku tak berapa paham. lepas tu nampak pulak novel Mochtar Lubis - Tiger. lagi aku melompat. aku cuba cari novel dia Twilight In Jakarta (Senja di Jakarta) tapi tak ada pulak kat skoob ni. aku ada tapi photostat copy. nak le yg ada kulit dan original.
tengok karya org kita, nampaklah buku salleh ben jonid, krishen jit; aku nak beli novel The Banana Leaf Men by Aneeta Sundararaj tu nanti. ada jugak himpunan short stories dr penulis2 asia tenggara.
pegi kat rak klasik inggeris, aku nampak buku emily bronte's wuthering height baru RM6. aku tanya ada tak buku Tom Brown's Schooldays sebab aku suka sgt buku klasik tu, aku baca masa sek menengah dulu dlm kelas. dia kata nanti dia cari dan simpankan. baiklah uncle ni. last2 aku beli buku wuthering height dgn eva luna (isabel allende), baru RM12. yelah tu! kat rumah tu ada 16 novel lagi nak baca, beli lagi. tapi ni utk collection. argh!!! jumpa lagi skoob, tiga minggu lagi.
it's been awhile since I last talked about gendon. she's become very precious and endearing to the three of us even though her personality has become more complex.
we've been watching her like a hawk since that fateful day where she'd gone missing for two days almost a month ago. she looked content and playful though.
actually, we are anxious to know whether she's pregnant or not which led me to do a little research about a cat's pregnancy or gestation. for the life of me, i didn't know cat sufferred from morning sickness when it's pregnant. i guess gendon didn't have one though.
but her face and stomach did bloat over the last two weeks and her appetite was ravenous. she sleeps a lot though. (well, she sleeps all the time anyway). we can see the changes in her body little by little such as her nipples become more enlarged etc.
cat's pregnancy lasts between 60 and 65 days. that means gendon will probably give birth in the middle of march. hey, gendon, don't u dare share your baby's birth on my birthday. hehehe...
around that time I will probably involve with the commonwealth tourism meeting and won't be able to witness her giving birth to her cute litters. sheesh!
we have to remember to set up a nesting basin two weeks before the due date so that she will not end up giving birth in our closet or worse our round rattan cushions. no way! gendon, i love that cushion.
all we have to do now is wait and see. it's interesting though watching her body change little by little. we hope that she will have a very strong mother's instinct and know what to do during her birth because we don't...;-)
The sunday night match was not the best game by Milan's standard. Perugia's tactical play made it difficult for Milan to find space to score.
Such game can be boring sometimes to the point of losing concentration. it's not that Milan didn't try but so many misses and off target shots could drive fans (like me) crazy. hehehe... Milan were made to struggle for long spells before finally breaking the deadlock thanks to playmaker Rui Costa.
Perugia's motto seemed to be "defend to the death" and that's probably one of the reasons why they have series of draw and loses this season. however, i think Perugia has a potential to be a better team especially since the arrival of a new striker - Marco Zalayeta, the Uruguayan player who is on loan from Juventus.
Together with midfielders Do Prado and Obodo, the trio created a few beautiful setpieces that caught Milan's defense off guard. even experienced defender like Ze Maria contributed some beautiful shots on goal.
As for Milan, Sheva looked tired and rarely go forward. Tomasson was useless while Kaka's energetic play became more subdued due to the hundreds of foul made on him by his shadow, Fusani the Perugian midfielder. Seedorf's many long shots were all off targets while Pirlo seemed to lose his beautiful touch. the score was nil-nil in the first half.
all that hard defensive works by Perugia was in vain when Milan's substitute Rui Costa scored a brilliant curled free kick in the second half. the goal was breathtaking and i think Rui himself was surprised by it. I am so happy for him. the curse had finally been lifted and Rui Costa could score again.
All the fans had almost given up on seeing him scoring for Milan after three seasons. First it was in the Siena match and now Perugia. I suspect the fear of losing his place to the 19-year-old Kaka made a difference. (In my humble opinion that is). hehehe...
Inzaghi, after a long break came in as a substitute an earned Milan a penalty. His reputation as the best poachers in Italy created panic in the Perugians defense including their goalkeeper Kalac, i think. Otherwise, he wouldn't have made that stupid lunged at Inzaghis' feet. Pirlo took the penalty but not a very good one. Kalac almost caught the ball.
Pancaro's tackle from behind was another stupid move by an experienced defender. He was red carded and Perugia got a penalty. Fresi's penalty was beautiful to look at, such a clinical penalty, even Dida couldn't do anything.
It's good to see Nesta is back in shape. His timing is perfect, commanding, vigilent and such flair he has. ehm!ehm! Maldini almost did a grandfather of mistake. Fortunately, Perugia's forwards weren't quick enough to grab the chance.
I can breathe easier now as Milan manages to maintain their 5 points lead over Roma. It's so sad to see the `Old Lady' humiliated and totally wiped out by the Romans. 4-0, where's the Juve's defense?? But hey! I am not complaining. hehehe...
I can't wait for the Champions League to start again at the end of February. Forza Milan!
When I first saw the trailer of this award-winning documentary on StarWorld(Astro), I thought it had a happy ending but I was wrong, dead wrong. For three Sundays, I was glued to the television watching Heidi or Mai Thi Hiep's journey to find her real mother. I was rooting for her every step of the way.
http://www.daughterfromdanang.com
I must have needed my head examined for believing that both mother and daughter would meet and then live happily ever after. Separated for 22 years, neither knew anything about each other; and I had the gall to expect the meeting to be a breeze.
Heidi may has an Asian blood flowing in her veins but she had a 100% western upbringing. She's too westernized to identify with an Asian values and cultures.
At first, she was very happy to see her mother but then she started to feel uncomfortable with her mother constant's kissing. She felt smothered by her. I was like, eh hello! This is your birthmotherlah. She had to give you away for a reason. If you didn't love her at least respect her.
She also found the Vietnamese market hideous. And the final toll was when her long lost siblings kept asking her for money. I kind of hate her at the end of the story. At this point, I was no longer rooting for her.
Watching the stories unfold, i din't want to be too judgemental because I wasn't in their shoes but I couldn't help but feel for both mother and daughter. However, at times, I hate Heidi, her brothers and even her mother.
I thought it was rude and unfeeling of her brothers to ask her to support her mother. They had just met for God's sake. Heidi had gone berserk and couldn't seem to stop crying. I really hate her brothers at that time but I myself was guilty of being ignorant of the Vietnamese cultures and therefore had no right to judge Heidi's brothers.
In the end, Heidi return to US far more confused than before she came to Danang. There were still lots of questions left unanswered. At first, I thought that when the result of such meeting was so heart-rending, it 's better for both of them not to meet at all at a first place. Come to think of it, maybe it's a start to bridge a huge gap between two different cultures.
Maybe Heidi should take another step to really understand her origin and not to take everything at face value. Only then, she could communicate better with her family and I dont mean just learning the language.
This documentary is not just about the reunion between mother and daughter but also show the ugly legacy of war and the clash of cultures.
This documentary also prompted me to find my own origin but that was another story...
sabtu/jan 31 - stuck tiga jam kat highway, itu pun aku byk guna emergency lane. almost nak kena saman. nasib baik sempat masuk third lane balik.
sampai rumah dekat pukul 7 lebih, tengok family semua sibuk tgh memasak. rumah kita ada takbir malam ni kata kakak aku, apsal lambat balik dia tanya? ni mesti kes malas nak kemas rumah ni, celah abang aku. boleh blah aku jawab.
sekali nampak pakcik aku dgn wife dia kat dapur. menjerit aku. pakcik yg aku panggil Wak merupakan satu2nya adik beradik belah bapak aku yg masih hidup. itu pun umur dia dah 80 thn. aku jarang dpt jumpa dia sbb dia tinggal kat singapura. ni first time dia beraya ngan kita org. alhamdulillah.
aku tengok wife pakcik aku tgh sibuk menguli kentang nak buat pegedil. nilah first time aku tengok org buat pegedil. sedap giler pegedil makcik aku ni.
selalunya malam takbir, menu rumah aku sama jer tiap2 thn - sup tulang abang aku. sbb rumah kita org yg paling last sekali, org pun dah tak larat makan. tapi malam tu kakak ipar aku kata dia pulak nak masak. wah! menu baru makan soto! nyum! nyum!
dekat 11 lebih baru org2 surau sampai, ada dekat 30 org. ish! ramainya. raya puasa maghin pun baru 20 org. bergema suara takbir kat rumah. sayu ada, gembira pun ada.
ahad/feb 1 semua pergi sembahyang raya, aku dgn kakak kat rumah siapkan hidangan apa yg patut. as usual menu raya sejak aku lahir tak pernah tukar - nasi himpit, rendang ayam/daging, kuah kacang, sambal goreng dan masak lemak ayam cili padi. dulu ada menu lodeh tapi sekarang kakak aku malas nak buat. abang ipar bawak balik lemang dr kuala pilah.
balik sembahyang rumah aku penuh macam restoran mamak. semua adik beradik dan ipar duai ada. masa makan nilah boleh nak catch up byk benda. biasalah kalau kat meja makan, macam2 topik keluar. topik favourite - isu semasa, politik kat kg kita org, ketua kampung, bola dan macam2 lagi.
lepas makan, yg lelaki dan anak2 buah pergi surau semula tolong sembelih lembu. dulu masa kecik aku pernah pegi tengok org sembelih lembu. lps tu aku nampak lembu tu macam nangis jer, sedih pulak. sejak tu aku dah tak pernah pergi lagi.
dekat nak petang sikit, abang2 dan kakak2 semua pun balik ke rumah mertua masing2. tinggal beberapa kerat jer kat rumah.
isnin/feb 2 - tengah hari tu abang aku kata dia nak buat steamboat ikan siakap. yea! bestnya dpt abang2 yg pandai dan sgt suka memasak, ialah aku kenyang tapi yg tak bestnya dia org suka mengata kalau aku masak. tak sedaplah, kurang garamlah, itulah, inilah. kakak2 aku pun selalu kena komplen. breakfast pagi tadi pun abang ipar aku yg masak mee hailam. hehehe...
petang tu, masing2 nak balik dan berjanji berkumpul semula awal muharam nanti. nak buat tahlil untuk arwah bapak. see you guys on the 22nd.
thursday/jan 29 - zal cakap dia nak tunjukkan satu tempat istimewa kat aku dgn diy. bila aku tanya, zal tak nak jawab. dia kata it'd be a surprise. nyampahnye aku.
dlm pukul 8 lebih, mula2 ingat nak makan kat warung uncle don tapi macam tak menarik jer, nak makan kat sri hartamas square macam pelik je tempat tu. last2 makan kat plaza damas jugak akhirnya. dah lama tak pergi tapi mee bandung makcik tu tetap sedap. ada gerai baru jual tauhu bakar. sedap gak.
adventure kita org pun bermula mlm tu - from Sri Hartamas to Ampang, courtesy of zal. sepanjang perjalanan, aku dgn diy dok teka2 tempat apa yg zal nak bawak kita org ni. cis! degil nak mampos budak ni, tak mau cakap. tetiba aku teringat tempat yg aku selalu suruh zal carik.
dah empat thn aku duduk KL, aku selalu suruh zal carik bukit yg boleh nampak satu KL tu. selalu aku tengok dlm drama jer. bila aku tanya tempat tu ker? zal dah tersengih2. yea! akhirnya dia jumpak jugak tempat tu. alamak tak surprise lagilah kata zal.
Bukit Permai, itulah nama tempatnya. memang cantik dan nyaman. walaupun masa kita org sampai tu dah nak hampir pukul 12 malam, ramainya org kat situ. masa tu byk betul org main mercun macam berlumba2. dari atas bukit tu memang KL waktu malam nampak cantik dan mysterious.
tempat ni kalau buat tempat lepak sambil main gitar memang best. silap2 boleh dpt idea cipta lagu terus. hehehe...lepas tu memang photographer's paradise. kenapalah aku tak discover tempat ni masa study dulu. kalau tak memang boleh dijadikan port utk subjek photocomm.
aku dgn diy tengok kereta bersusun2 kat sepanjang jalan atas bukit tu. aku cakap kat zal, ramainya org lepak sini nak tengok pemandangan KL waktu malam kan? zal kata nak tengok pemandangan ke hapa, dia org projek dlm kereta tu adalah. kalau nak tengok free show inilah masanya. kau stroll je sepanjang2 kereta tu boleh tengok free show adegan terlampau.
seriously, aku dah 30 thn hidup memang tak pernah tengok benda2 camtu secara langsung. tak pernah terpikir pun nak tengok. tapi aku memang culture shock giler malam tu. aku macam tak percaya benda macam ni boleh ada kat KL ni. aku ingat kat dlm cerita org putih jer yg ada tempat2 make out camni.
macam takde segan silu. aku rasa kalau bukit tu bernyawa dan boleh buat tindakan sendiri dah lama bukit tu hempap malaun2 tu. aku tak boleh terima semua ni. couple melayu tu bercium macam org kerasukan ajer, dah tak peduli org. dua tiga mamat yg lepak kat tepi longkang tu togok beer macam minum air biasa jer. bila aku tengok, malu2 kucing pulak, sorok2. dlm kereta tak usah cakaplah, pakai tudung pun ada, cermin kereta berasap2. wei aku harap korang mati terhidu karbon monoxide kereta korang tu aku cakap.
apa semua ni!!!!itu yg buat aku teringat balik sajak yg aku buat tahun lepas tu. harap2 aku dijauhkan daripada maksiat2 seumpama ni. bukit tu memang cantik untuk tengok pemandangan tapi dah dicacatkan oleh perbuatan2 haram ni. so, edisi siasat apa lagi!!!!
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