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dan jendela pun berbisik...
"Life is not about what you've gained, but what you've done" - Wong Ka Kui (1962 - 1993)
"I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it" - The Friends of Voltaire, 1906
"A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste" - Anonymous
"If you read, you will judge" - Kurt Cobain
last modified Mar 17, 2005 at 0:17
azzurri's new PUMA jersey was finally unveiled last monday at the san siro, milan. the azzurris will wear the jersey in the friendly match against Portugal tonight.
so much for the publicity given to the designer neil barett. i thought he could have at least come out with a better design than this. if im not mistaken, he's english. what does he know about the italian passion, right??? hehehe...
personally, i prefer kappa to be the brand of their jersey.
remember Euro 2000 where everybody went ooh! and ahhh! over the tight-fitted jersey. fortunately, i managed to buy the original kappa jersey before they change it to PUMA.
barett said he got the inspiration from the protective armors worn by the Roman gladiators a long long time ago. what protective armors, the jersey look slightly loose to me compared to the elastic kappa. oh well, we'll see, we'll see...
74 days and counting. i couldn't wait for june to come. i wanted so badly for the azzurri to win. they had disapointed me time and time again. i hope this year will be their year. for the time being, i'll just keep on watching the semi-final game between holland and italy in the Euro 2000. i don't know how many times i'd watched the tape even though the commentator was speaking hungarian. thank you henrietta for sending me the tape all the way from hungary four years ago. i don't know where you are now but i guess football did bring people together.
to all the azzurri's tifosi around the world, there can be only one.
several members of the Japanese Modern Theatre group called Toki Doki-Jido had yet to return to Tokyo after performing the Lightology at the actors studio recently. zal and diy got to join the group and performed the Lightology with them for two days. i'm still jealous. sheesh!!!!
this group is collecting hundreds of video and camera shots of Malaysian culture and faces for their next performance in Tokyo next month. The performance which will be called The Street of Malaysia and Philippines will showcast the multicultural and faces of both countries as an audiovisual works during the theatre performance.
so when naomi, the actor, singer and translator of the group wanted to shoot a traditional Malay house, diy, zal and I decided to ask ajue (my officemate) if we could use her grandma’s house in Kajang as the venue. so our sunday morning’s adventure, started with the shooting of ajue’s grandma’s house:-
11.30 am: picking up naomi and okubu at the lanson hotel in ampang.
11.45 am: zal and diy introduced me to both of them.
12.30 pm: we finally arrived at the house of ajue’s grandma.
i’d never really noticed how beautifully-intricate an old Malay house was. the ceiling was absolutely beautiful. rows of bamboo woven like a “mengkuang mat”. according to ajue, the house was built by his grandpa in 1973. sheesh! the two japanese had fun shooting the house. we showed them the traditional chilli blender the “batu giling”. We had mee hoon soup for lunch and those two japanese had gobbled down the food as if that was their last meal. Oishi! Oishi! They said. Oishi means delicious. All in all, we spent 1 ½ hours at the house before making our way to central market.
2.30 pm: naomi and okubu were waiting for the the rest of the Toki Doki-Jido members.
3.30 pm: when the rest of the members had regrouped, they started their performance at the central market’s sidewalk. with their trumpet, small single drum, saxophone, singing and crazy steps, they soon attracted lots of people. everybody was enjoying the show. i was enjoying the show too. this theatre group was made of a really interesting creative people, a body sculpture model, musicians, video game designer, to name a few. these are a bunch of loudmouths highly creative and crazy artistes.
3.45: we then made our way to Jalan Masjid India for their next performance. the whole group about eight of them and the three of us took a walk from central market to jalan masjid india.
4.15pm: just when we were about to reach wisma yakin, the sky opened up and let the rain fall down. it was raining cats and dogs, so we decided to have a drink at the mamak’s restaurant there. those japanese were crazy about ice kacang or ABC. while eating ice kacang, they still managed to shoot a few pictures of an old malay couple and an indian muslim man.
5.45: they decided to perform in front of the indian shops not far from the semua house shopping complex. again, they attracted lots of people with their unique display of singing and dancing talent. there was a huge crowd at jalan masjid india.
6.00 pm: they told us, they wanted to do their last performance at the china town/petaling street. the three of us were already half dead at the time. these were a bunch of hyper active people. what had we’d got ourselves into? so, we walked again heading towards petaling street.
6.45 pm: they managed to squeeze into this small space between the pirated vcd seller and the fruit seller to perform. the crowd seemed to enjoy their performance. some even shouted for more. that was really nice. i was glad to be part of the group even only as a guide and observer.
then and there, we said our goodbyes. lots of handshakes and hugs but still our adventure had yet to end. one of the members kazuka really wanted to buy a baju kurung and a headscarf. so, from PS we returned to jalan masjid india for some shopping. and this time we took my car to go there.
7.30 pm: kazuka found a baju kurung that she liked and bought it complete with a headscarf. we bought her a pair of brooches for the headscarf. she was almost screaming with joy, arigato, kawaii!kawaii!! Kawaii means beautiful.
8.15 pm: we dropped the three of them at jalan alor, bukit bintang. there, the group would have their last dinner in kuala lumpur with the people from the Japan Foundation. we hugged each other and exchanged e-mail addresses. they promised to send us the tape.
I couldn’t believe I’d just spend a day with a japanese theater group called Toki Doki-Jido. we’d learned a lot from watching them and they learned a lot from us too. these were not the typical japanese I’d met before. these are a bunch of friendly, creative and uninhibited artistes who simply loved to entertain people. my only regret was I didn’t bring my camera. sheesh! I will never forget this day, a special day, special people and a special friendship was born.
aku ke kelas sorang-sorang sbb zal ponteng lagi. belajar satu jam sbb ada kelas ganti. hari ni aku belajar lagu now & forever - richard marx. aku tak suka sangat lagu ni sebenarnya tapi intronya sangat menarik untuk dimainkan.
1/2 jam aku habiskan utk belajar running bass lagu wonderful tonight dan 1/2 jam lagi utk intro now & forever. hammer on, slide up dan slide down dgn cepat. belajar intro je pun dah separuh mati aku rasa. urgh!!!!
nasib baik sempat balik rumah sebelum hujan lebat, kalau tak habis gitar aku. balik, sumer org tidur, gendon pun tidur, aku pun apa lagi tidurlah ditemani guruh dan petir yg berdentam dentum.
alamak, terlepas pulak tengok sinchan. malam tu aku dgn zal nak basuh kereta kat kg baru. aku pulak dah janji nak belanja dia org makan sempena birthday ari tu. punyalah banyak kereta malam tu, jam sana sini. aku tinggal kereta kat snow wash kg baru tu, siap cakap tolong jaga kereta sbb kita org nak gi makan. no prob, kata brader tu. hehehe...
so, kita org naik kereta zal pegi makan kat vichudda, damansara. menunya, tomyam campur, telur bungkus, udang goreng tepung, ayam masak halia dan kailan ikan masin. makan macam nak mati tak sedar dah 3 jam aku tinggalkan kereta kat kg baru. tapi sempat lagi singgah kedai vcd kat uptown tu.
sampai kg baru, dah pukul 1.30 pagi. nasib baik kereta aku ada lagi kat situ. hehehe...lepas tu lepak dlm kereta aku sbb nak basuh kereta zal pulak.
sampai rumah lebih kurang pukul dua lebih, alamak apsal gelap gelita. rupa2nya area rumah kita org takde letrik. teringat gendon dgn anak2 dia bergelap kat rumah, cepat2 lari naik lif. bukak je pintu, gendon dah tunggu sambil membebel. sorilah gendon, mana nak tau letrik takde. cari pulak lilin. aiseh! yg ada lilin hiasan, torchlight pun takde kat rumah ni punyalah teruk. takpelah, janji boleh pakai lilin tu. kepanasan, masing2 tak boleh tidur sebenarnya.
pukul 3 am, letrik ada balik, tiga2 memang tak boleh tidur. kita org pun bukak lah vcd yg baru beli tadi. The Eye 2. frust giler, citer macam siot jer. seram The Eye lagi. dulu lepas tengok The Eye, aku takut nak naik lif sorang2 waktu malam. The Eye 2, bukanlah citer hantu betul2. jelmaan hantu yg watak utama tu nampak sebenarnya terbit daripada rasa bersalah dia pada isteri kekasih dia yg mati bunuh diri. aku rasa citer ni macam tiru citer Inner Sense jer. citer terakhir leslie cheung sebelum dia bunuh diri. itu baru best...
aku dan rakan sepejabat ke jusco wangsa maju tgh hari tadi utk membeli barang2 pantry. aku dan ajue terus menuju ke bahagian buah2an sbb aku tiba-tiba teringin nak makan buah limau dan minah tu teringin nak makan buah anggur.
tengah2 aku sibuk memilih buah limau tu, ajue mencucuk pinggang aku dgn sikunya. aku tanya apa hal lu? dia kata tengok sebelah kanan. aku pun tengoklah, alangkah terkejutnya aku melihat adegan yg sedang berlaku di depan mata aku tu.
aku rasa mulut aku ternganga sikit sebab terperanjat tengok mula2 sorang perempuan tu, manis berbaju kurung gaya seorang eksekutif memetik buah anggur di rak supermarket tu dan mengelapnya di baju sebelum memasukkan buah itu ke dalam mulutnya. berulang2 kali dia berbuat begitu tanpa ada perasaan malu dan takut. bila dah puas baru dia meninggalkan tempat tu.
belum habis kejutan itu, datang pulak sorang lelaki dgn t-shirt birunya membuat perkara yg sama seperti perempuan tadi. aku tak rasa dia org kenal satu sama lain tapi kedua2nya buat benda yg sama. makan anggur tu macam takde perasaan, macam tempat tu rumah dia, macam anggur tu dari kebun dia.
aku tak tau apa nak cakap. cuma aku selalu ingat pesan arwah bapak aku supaya jaga tertib makan minum tu. benda2 yg kita telan tu akan jadi darah kita, jadi daging kita. dulu masa aku kecik2, selalu telan air liur jer tengok buah anggur. masa tu buah tu kira org kaya jer yg mampu nak makan. itu sebablah bapak aku selalu pesan jgn ambik benda yg bukan hak kita, jgn makan benda haram.
anggur yg dia org makan tu walau pun sikit tapi bukan hak dia org. kenyangnya sekejap tapi dosanya itu tertanam dalam darah dan daging sampai hari kiamat kalau dia org tak bertaubatlahkan. entahlah, kalau nak difikirkan, apa yg mendorong dia org tu buat camtu agaknya? nafsu??? aku tak rasa dia org tak mampu nak beli cuma benda terlarang mungkin rasanya lebih sedap agaknya ya???????
left to right: aku, zal & diy
front: gendon
seperti jugak gitar-gitar ini, aku, zal dan diy berbeza saiz, rupa dan karakter. namun minat yg serupa menyatukan kami. entah sampai bila agaknya kita org akan terus bersama, aku tidak tahu. cuma aku harap persahabatan ini akan terjalin sampai bila2. kalau zal dan diy dapat melanjutkan master dan phd masing2 di jepun thn depan, tinggallah aku keseorangan. aku perlu bersedia utk menghadapi kemungkinan itu. ahh!!!
gendon said "i wish to thank dianli, kulat2 , dania and hanyasayang for sending me a congratulation message. i have four lovely kittens. miao!!!!!miao!!!!!!."
i swear my heart stopped beating when walter pandiani of deportivo scored at the 11th minute. the Milan players and tifosi were absolutely stunned. it was a brilliant goal resulted from a short corner. deportivo players looked really confident and it's obvious from their perfect passings and defensive skills. i guess, it would really made their day if they were to beat two Italian giants in a row.
however, deportivo's defense played too deep for my taste. the way they played could really killed players' creativity. i think they've studied so many milan's games before the actual match to be able to know how to stop the two strikers.
however, they didn't count on Milan's new sensation in the form of a 20-year-old Ricardo Izecson Dos Santos Leite or better known as KAKA to be the hero for the night. i fell in love at first sight with this kid when he first came to Milan. he is a magical player, fast, a young maestro and in a class of his own. i am forever grateful to Leonardo for bringing this "phenomenon" from Flamingo. he really made a different in the milan's midfield.
Kaka's blistering volley at the 45th minute stunned the spaniards. the ball control was absolutely genius. the crossed from the ever reliable Cafu connected with Kaka who managed to race clear from his shadow in time to stop the ball with his tigh before striking a low volley into the net.
i did feel for the visitors then. it's always terrible to see a team scored seconds before the referee blowed his whistle. it's a psychological blow for the opponent.
second half, to be honest, i missed sheva's goal. i only managed to see the replay, so fast he scored, at the 46th minute. a typical sheva's goal, a twist here and a turn there, he managed to make a fool of three defenders before swivelling in the ball right in front of depo's goalie.
three minutes later, Kaka scored his second goal, almost identical to his first goal but from a slightly difficult angle. this wonder kid can score from any angle, sheesh! but it was Seedorf doing of course. at this rate, deportivo's back four were really sloppy and had already disintegrated.
Pirlo, the quiet and unassuming defensive midfielder showed why he's a first choice in the Milan's team and the Azzurri. that was one killer free-kick. he's truly gifted, the ball curled and too powerful for the goalie to stop it even though he had touched the ball.
in the space of 9 minutes, Milan had scored three goals to kill deportivo's dream of beating another Italian giant on the Italian's soil. they way they went at it, diyana said it was like a guerilla war. shot, shot and shot and deportivo's defense players didn't know what had hit them.
4-2-2-2 vs 4-2-3-1 and pak carlo's formation had the winning formula. at first, i was worried because with Nesta injured, Milan had to rely heavily on Costacurta and Maldini. no tight marking there without Nesta but they did it anyway. bravo!!!
4-1, was the result and they said italian games are boring???? still a match to go and i hope milan will go into the semi-final.
Forza Milan! Milano Siamo Noi
tamat sudah dua hari yang penuh bara. pemenangnya sudah pun diketahui. sebagai pemerhati politik tak bertauliah, keputusan itu tidak mengejutkan langsung. aku sudah masak dgn mainan politik. jijik!!! nothing can surprised me anymore.
aku cuma mau tahu di mana aku (rakyat jelata) di mata mereka?? di mana kedudukanku??
- keluarga
-saudara mara
-kroni
-aku (rakyat jelata)
mungkinkah aku di atas sekali atau berkedudukan nombor dua, atau aku ditempat ketiga atau aku menjadi yang terakhir di mata mereka? atau aku tiada langsung dalam senarai mereka?????
thought of the day :
there's no fire like passion, no shark like hatred, there is no snare like folly, no torrent like greed.
the '99's election was one the greatest experiences i've ever had in my life. it was such a great pleasure to be part of the election's campaign though only as an observer.
my work pass allowed me to go into all operation rooms be it government parties or oppositions.
sitting with them, listening to their views, opinions and ideals gave me a huge perspectives of how these men and women look at live really. was i an objective listener, yes i was. however, a cynic like me was really sceptical when they started to list their promises and dreams if or when they won the people's vote.
zal and i worked together at the time. we've gone a long way since. we shared so much history, i've known her since i was in standard one, what do u expect? well, back to the election.
zal and i, we had travelled to almost the whole negri sembilan. if not for the election and job scope, we wouldn't even know such districts even existed. we went to every "ceramah" and campaigns organised by both sides of the candidates. we hang out with the SBs at all places, after a while, u could easily recognised them. we stayed up late following the supporters doing their flags and other campaign's stuff.
it was really fun and adventurous. we'd met lots of party leaders and all of them were very charismatic, you couldn't help but like them a little... hehehe...
i guess you have to be there to really know how I felt. even the nomination's day was really exciting. hey, abang zia still owed me the photo of us taken during that day.
i was stationed at the Federal Building to wait for the result. imagined, i had to go to work after casting my vote. i ended up staying at the building from 2 pm until 4 am. zal had the more exciting day because she was stationed at the place where they counted the ballot boxes but later she joined me. we then went to the office and stayed there until 7am. i was sicked for the whole week after that. what an anti-climax...
today, i was working again but only until 2pm. this stupid event was finally over. i am going back straight to Seremban to cast my vote. to be honest, i am not very excited with this year's election. five years ago, there was some kind of anticipation in the air, hopes and diligent but now i have a feeling that a certain party will win hands down...happy voting!!!
seperti yg diceritakan oleh zal dan diyana kepada aku melalui siaran langsung dan juga follow-up seterusnya.
18/3/2004
6.45 pm: gendon sudah mula resah dan mengiau2 tanpa henti.
7.00 pm: zal terpaksa keluar utk menjalani latihan teater lightologynya w/p dia tak sampai hati utk meninggalkan gendon. kata zal, gendon memberikan satu pandangan sayu padanya seolah2 meminta zal supaya jgn pergi.
9.30 pm: zal dan diy membuka pintu dan nampak titisan darah di depan pintu dan dgn hati yg berdebar2 menjejaki titisan itu sehingga ke dapur.
9.45 pm: kabinet dapur yg memang tidak pernah digunakan itu menjadi tempat gendon melahirkan anak2nya.
9.50 pm: diyana panik bila melihat ekor gendon di penuhi darah.
9.55 pm: zal dan diyana mengambil kotak dari dalam bilik untuk memindahkan gendon ke tempat yg lebih selesa.
10 pm: ketika hendak memindahkan anak-anak gendon, lima ekor semuanya, barulah zal dan diy sedar bahawa salah seekor daripadanya telah pun pergi selama-lamanya.
10.10 pm: gendon seperti tidak mahu melepaskan anaknya yg telah mati itu. dia terus menjilat bayi itu seolah2 berharap ia akan bernafas semula.
10.30 pm: gendon mula rasa selesa bersama anak2nya. kata zal, dia ibu yg natural.
11.00 pm: zal dan diy mengemas kekotoran yg ditinggalkan oleh gendon.
19/3/2004
7 am: gendon melayan anak2nya dgn begitu sabar sekali.
7.25 am: sejurus sebelum ke tempat kerja, zal mengusap lembut kepala gendon dan ia mengiau manja meminta makan.
aku sedih kerana tidak dapat menyaksikan peristiwa bersejarah itu, manakala zal dan diy ralat kerana terpaksa meninggalkan gendon di saat dia sakit hendak bersalin. namun, perkiraan kami yg menjangkakan gendon akan bersalin minggu ni ternyata benar. anak2 gendon hampir2 berkongsi harijadi dgn aku. hehehe...kata zal dia tak sabar nak tunggu aku balik utk upacara memberi nama kepada anak2 gendon...
to
happy 30th birthday to me and happy 28th birthday to alessandro nesta, the best central defender on earth. hehehe...
bestnya, kat media centre ni, bebudak teknikal pasang screensaver happy birthday siti. rasa terharu pulak bila datang je pagi tadi tengok semua skrin komputer terpampang birthday wish tu.
yg sedihnya sbb jauh dari kengkawan serumah, takleh nak celebrate dgn dia org. nantilah lepas event ni. ejen insuran aku pagi2 dah hantar birthday message.
aku selalu teringin nak tau siapa yg berkongsi birthday dgn aku. bila aku dpt tau nesta punya birthday sama dgn aku, melompat gila, syok sendiri. aku selalu masuk forum pasal Nesta, jadi kengkawan forum semua from the whole world. so, every year dia org wish happy birthday kat aku dgn Nesta sekali. hehehe...best betul.
aku tak sangka dah masuk 30 thn. tapi rasanya macam aku ni tak matang2 lagi. tak ada apa great achievement pun yg aku dah capai setakat ni. hidup aku selamba macam nilah. tapi sampai bila ya! apa matlamat hidup aku sebenarnya. aku masih tak jumpa jawapan tu.
lennon/mcCartney once said it's along and winding road and i am taking the journey of my life one day at a time...
pix of Nesta- courtesy of Romi
wei, diy, aku curi gambar kau. huahuahua. padan muka kau!
i miss my friends, i miss my room, my guitar and i miss gendon very much. i hate living out of a suitcase like this.
i have a love-hate kind of a relationship with this part of my job. holed-up in this damn hotel for a week make me depress. international events like CTMM though hold in such a small scale compared to the previous NAM or even OIC, can take its toll on me and the rest of the media secretariat.
i am grateful that the Arab countries are not members of the Commonwealth. dia org ni memang bloody arrogant, ingat kita ni balaci dia apa. belagak semacam. lagi satu BBC, macam bagus.
i've been at this hotel for three days and already im homesick. i'm stuck here until Monday. urgh! lucky there's no important football match this week.
handling media representatives are not an easy task and since i've been on both side of the wall, i wonder whether i am that arrogant and demanding. oh hell!, i don't think i like myself very much back then.
as for my housemates, zal and diy, if you are reading this, i hate you guys at this moment and very2 jealous of you. i swear to God it's true. i am green with envy. wei, aku pun nak join gak wei. tisk!tisk! aku pun nak join teater jepun lightology tu. aku nak join the other 50 volunteers macam korang. boleh menari, menyanyi, berpuisi etc. jepun2 tu tak kisah pun korang pakai tudung ke apa. aku pun nak rasa camna buat show kat actor studio. aku pun nak rasa camna to let loose and be uninhibited on stage. wei, aku kerja kat sini macam bodoh jer.
anyway, good luck for korang punya show kat Actor studio this weekend. i am sorry i wont be able to watch your performance but Break A LEg, anyway, guys. luv ya! and take care of gendon, ok.
sabtu pagi, aku bangun awal menyiapkan artikel utk Mercy. pukul 11 pagi, aku dan diy perlu ada di pejabat mercy di ampang utk menyerahkan kerja2 kami.
aku tak sangka akan berjumpa idola aku dr jamilah dan duduk semeja berbual seperti sudah lama kenal. dia memang wanita yang hampir sempurna pada pandangan mata aku. wanita berani dan jujur dalam menjalankan tugas2 kebajikannnya. heal beyond borders. aku tak mampu untuk jadi semacam dia.
aku selalu bercita2 untuk berjumpa idola-idola yg pernah dan masih aku sanjung. aku ingin berjumpa che guevara tapi dia sudah mati, begitu juga dgn kurt cobain. aku hampir2 dpt bertemu Castro semasa sidang NAM tapi tidak dpt jumpa secara berdepan.
aku sudah jumpa antara photojournalist terbaik dunia dari French yg juga merupakan idola aku, yang mempengaruhi aku terjun ke dunia komunikasi ini 12 thn yg lalu. siapa sangka aku akan berjumpa dgn dia.
aku juga mahu jumpa alessandro nesta dan seluruh pasukan milan dan azzurri tapi mereka jauh di itali.
idola dari kalangan penyajak seperti AGI dan A Samad Said juga sudah aku jumpa dan berbual.
aku selalu berangan nak berjumpa dgn idola2 aku tapi dalam masa yg sama aku juga takut mahu berjumpa mereka sebab aku takut idola2 aku itu tidak seperti yang aku sangkakan atau harapkan. aku tidak mahu kecewa atau disillusion jika mereka itu tidak seperti yang aku bayangkan selama ini.
tapi mereka juga manusia biasa yang tidak sempurna. adilkah aku untuk menghukum mereka hanya kerana mereka tidak seperti yg aku harapkan. entahlah...
petang sabtu aku menghabiskan setengah jam di kelas gitar. habis kelas aku dan zal balik ke seremban. dah 2 minggu rasanya aku tak balik kg. rindu sgt kat mak aku. aku drop zal kat rumah dia dan balik ke rumah mencari lauk asam pedas. ini gara2 menonton drama asam pedas mak teh di astrolah ni...
Didih air merah mengalir di tubuh
Meruap, meronta jeritkan kemarahan
Jantung berdetik kencang mahu gugur
Marah! Marah! Marah!
Marah pada siapa???
Marah pada apa???
Aku tidak tahu…
Jiwa muda seakan memberontak
Bertali arus sumpahan berhambur
Rentetan kehidupan yang tidak tentu arah
Ingin mencari kepastian dari arah Kaabah
Diam aku tidak bermakna lemah
Cuma aku tidak bijak berkata-kata
Hati ini sebenarnya gundah
Kenangkan nasib pendirian agama
Mahu kuturutkan akhlaknya Aisyah
Mahupun prinsip Fatimah dan Rabiatul Adawiyah
Namun tidak mampu kumenahan
Gelora arus pemodenan
Oh Tuhan! Berilah aku peluang
Menjadi seperti insan solehah terbilang
Untuk bekalan akhirat mendatang
Oh Tuhan! Berilah aku kekuatan iman
Dalam menongkah arus kegelapan
pantai dalam...2003
kata zal dia nampak rakan sekerjanya menulis sesuatu di dalam diari. kata zal dia mengusik rakannya itu dgn kata2 gurauan. kata zal, tulis surat cinta ya! kata zal, jawapan rakannya buatkan dia terdiam. kata zal, kawannya mencatat berapa hutang yang telah dibayar...
kata zal lagi hutang itu berupa sembahyang yang tertinggal. kata zal lagi, catatan itu, catatan qada' yang telah tertunai.
cerita zal buat aku terdiam, cerita zal buat aku sedih, cerita zal buat aku sedar bahawa buku hutangku banyak yang belum dilangsaikan...
currently listening to: Paint It Black - Rolling Stones
i know it's a jinx to make fun of other teams especially when your team has yet to play. however, Man United's defeat was too great for me to let it pass without at least rubbing the salt on the already wounded MU fans.
Man United is one football team that doesn't get my respect. Not because they are not a great skillful team but because the players and the manager especially think they are bigger than the game itself.
The arrogance of the players, the manager and the fans are really too much for me to accept. Every forum I go, I find MU fans are all the same, they simply have no respect for other teams. they think that their team is the greatest on earth and the way they make fun of other teams is simply disgusting.
alex ferguson think power and money are enough to put his team on top of the league but he forgot that football is just a game. the beauty of the game is, it is 80% hardship and skill and 20% luck and always lady luck comes out the winner.
maybe, Man United's defeat to Porto early this morning would help them realised that "lu terer, ada terer lagi..."
Milan For Life
WONDERFUL TONIGHT
It's late in the evening
She's wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her make up
And brushes her long blonde hair
And then she asks me
Do I look alright
And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight
one of the eric clapton's classics that always caught my attention especially the solo play. so, last saturday i asked my teacher to teach me to play this song. i found it difficult to change the chord from G5 to D/F# faster while plucking and my tempo was absolutely horrendous. and my teacher had finally given me a piece of his mind.
teacher to student: when you want to play this song or any other songs, you must play it from the heart. you must learn every aspect of it from the lyric to the melody, the tempo and the rhythm. you can't just come to class and said i wanted to play this song without having this song in your head and heart. you have to have the feel of the song to be able to play it. be honest when you want to play music. that's why we put the guitar close to our chest whenever we play so that our heart can feel the rhythm too.
student a.ka. yours truly: speechless...
i've always been a lazy student since my schooldays. i was never serious, always playful, sleeping throughout the whole class, lost in space, procrastinated on all my assignments. sometimes i wonder how did i pass all my exams. i got a good job now though satisfaction-wise, it's about zero but im still comfortable with it.
however, learning to play an instrument is a different ball game altogether. my teacher could tell if i didn't practise. i couldn't get it right if i didn't practise. i couldn't hit the guitar on the wall when the frustration mounted because it's too expensive. ;-) i had to play at least 1/2 hour everyday otherwise, i would forget the chord. i have to play the song over and over again to get the right tempo. i have to make it a habit to practise all the songs that i've learned so that I won't forget. and i am a lazy student. i guess this guitar lesson really did help me changed for the better.
and emak, you told me to join the sewing club. urgh!
Dengarlah suara gemercik air
Di balik rumpun bambu
Di sudut dusun
Lihatlah pancuran berdansa riang
Menyapa batuan
Menjemput bulan
Ada perempuan renta menimba
Terbungkuk namun sempat senandungkan tembang
Sedang di balik pagar gadis berdendang
Tengah mandi telanjang
Dengarlah suara nafas jalanan
Di balik gedung tinggi
Di bawah terik
Lihatlah geriap lalu lalang
Di saput debu panas
Kasih pun sirna
Ada perempuan tua berdandan
Bergincu tebal senandungkan dosa
Sedang di balik dinding jejaka gelisah
Menunggu saat berkencan
Sangatlah nyata
Beda antara berdiri di bebukitan sejuk
Dengan di bawah terik matahari
Saksikan bahwa sepi
Lebih berarti dari keriuhan
Saksikan bahwa sepi
Lebih berarti dari keriuhan
Ebiet G. Ade
aku membesar dgn lagu2 Ebiet G. Ade. selalulah muzik mengingatkan aku tentang sesuatu peristiwa dalam hidup aku. bila aku dengar lagu ni dalam kereta tadi, terbayang-bayang aku ketika itu yang masih bersekolah rendah.
aku boleh nampak abang sulung aku sedang duduk di sebelah radionya sambil termenung menghayati lagu ini. masih terbayang seluar jeans bell-bottom dan kemeja petak2 kecil yang dipakainya ketika itu. tapi entah kenapa cahaya ruang tamu ketika itu nampak suram. seolah-olah pita rakaman memori yang aku mainkan betul2 mengikut corak warna awal 80-an dulu. tak ubah seperti gambar2 album aku ketika kecil. warna yang sama ada hitam putih atau pelbagai warna tetapi pudar.
lagu-lagu ebiet sering membawa aku ke zaman silam walaupun hanya untuk seketika. aku rindukan saat itu sebenarnya. akulah anak itu, anak kelahiran 70-an.
dalam perjalanan mencari susur galur aku nun jauh di sebuah desa di jawa tengah, aku terserempak dengan satu website kepunyaan seorang insan yang sangat puitis. websitenya juga menawarkan bahasa jawa untuk pembelajaran. bahasa keturunan aku yang tidak langsung aku fahami dan mungkin sudah tiba masanya untuk aku belajar.
aku juga sangat suka bahasa2 puisinya dan puisi yang satu ini buat aku tersenyum sendiri kerana ada relevannya.
Sajak Bola [1]
Dul...
bola melambung
Dul...
bola melesat
Dul...
bola menyundul langit
Dul...
bola menabrak awan
Dul...
matahari tersungkur
: Priiiittt...
siapa melakukan pelanggaran
wahai
Sang Pengadil pun memberi peringatan
sebelum permainan usai
jakarta, 18 juni 2002
Sajak Bola [2]
Dul-dal-dul...
Isya
Dul-dal-dul...
Lohor
Dul-dal-dul...
Asyar
Dul-dal-dul...
Magrib
[Kok dul-dal-dul terus, kapan salatnya?]
jakarta, 18 juni 2002
oleh mas Moch Djoko Yuwono
currently listening to: Sleepwalker - The Wallflowers
it's been a long time since i've had an argument with diy, a good-natured one, that is. i guess it's all started with the Hallmark film called The Pact.
I really love watching hallmark films despite their mushy gushy reputations. well, i guess i'm a romantic at heart. yeah right!;-)
as for the film, The Pact was about Emily, a teenager who dies in an apparent suicide pact with her childhood sweetheart Chris. the boyfriend didn't die though and the tragedy shatterred the close bond between the two families.
since i found the film interesting, naturally i wanted to share it with diy. so i asked her to watch the re-run. diy said she wanted to tell me about a book she had just read. i told her she could tell me about it while watching the film. fine, she said.
however, the film i watched and the book diy read was ironically the same thing. i watched the adapted film while diy read the original thus the argument during the whole screening.
i guess she had the advantaged because in a book, she's able to read in details about what occurred in each characters' mind. i was so frustrated because every minute she would say "hey, that's not what happened in the book". i told her that they couldn't do the movie exactly as in the book. it would depend on the director's point of view how he wanted the film to end.
but she said, it was so disappointing the way the film turned out compared to the book. i guess so. maybe, someday i'll read the book just to satisfy my own curiosity and also maybe that's why i didn't read the Green Mile until today.
my favourite stephen king's book of all time is IT. i was sceptical when they made it into a film. and in the film, IT turned out to be a gigantic spider. what the hell! it wasn't like that in the book.
I consider the books i've read as sacred and when hollywood turned them into a film, they had somehow turn it into a joke. even though not all adapted films turn out to be the worst, still i was forever disillusioned.
i don't know whether i should watch a film made from the novel i've read first or read the novel after watching the film first...
hari sabtu hari yg sibuk buat aku dan diy. kita org ada temu janji dgn wakil mercy kat TTDI. aku dgn diy keluar dalam pukul 10 pagi. wakil mercy tu bagi aku assignment utk annual report dia org. agak mencabar jugak nak buat benda ni sbb aku takde experience. tapi takpe aku akan cuba. diy pulak terlibat dgn layout, dia memang kreatif, takde masalah utk dia.
tengok diy mesra je berborak dgn staf2 mercy tu padahal dia baru jer dua kali jumpa. aku ni sepatah org tanya sepatahlah aku jawab. geramnya, bila aku nak berubah ni. mak aku kata dlm mulut aku ada emas, sbb tu susah sgt nak bercakap dgn orang. dgn cikgu gitar aku pun ambik masa berbulan baru aku boleh nak hilang rasa malu aku ni. teruknyalah.
lepas habis appointment ngan bebudak mercy, aku dgn diy pergi interview kat PWTC. aku ingat boleh dpt kerja freelance tu. 5 hari - RM600. sapa tak nak. aku cuba jer lah. takde nasib. sheesh! ingat duit tu boleh simpan utk travel this year.
aku ni memang sense of direction - zero. nak balik rumah kat pantai dalam dari pwtc, alih2 sampai ke sentul. apa hal! wei, Diy kita kat mana ni? sama jer blur dua2 org. panasnya, aku tengok suhu 36 darjah. aduh panasnya. kepala aku dah tangkap migraine.
sampai rumah, aku, diy dgn zal bergotong royong mengemas rumah. basuh bilik air, mop dapur, sapu ruang tamu, kemas bilik. gendon pun heran kenapa mistresses dia yg tiga org ni rajin sgt. lepas kemas, semua org pengsan sampai ke senja.
lepas tengok sinchan, masing2 maghrib dan kita org bersiap nak pegi tengok HMI-Spider kat Angkasapuri. ramainya manusia. memang bestlah persembahan dia org. tapi aku tengok Pak Tam tak tune gitar sendiri. ada budak lain yg tolong tunekan gitar dia. musykilnya aku. sama ada dia malas atau dia tune deaf macam aku. aku ni main gitar beriya2 tapi kalau suruh tune manually, memang aku lemah. telinga aku tak cukup berseni nak tangkap bunyi string2 tu. nak beli tuner mahal sgtlah pulak.
tapi yg paling memorable sekali masa HMI ni ialah pasal dpt jumpa Yan XPDC. aku melompat nampak dia. aku memang minat dia daripada zaman Lefthanded lagi. dpt salam dgn dia. borak sikit. memang humble gila mamat ni. tak sia2 aku minat dia. walau pun dia main bass tapi aku tetap suka jugak. masa Yan nak blah dia salam kita org sekali lagi. rocker yg bersopan santun betul. gua respek lu, Yan!!!
aku datang awal. pukul 8.05 minit aku dah tertonggok kat opis sorang2. melayan perasaan yg bercampur baur. sorang demi sorang rakan sepejabat sampai dan semuanya bagi senyuman yg penuh makna kat aku. rata2 mengeluarkan dialog "cepat datang hari ni". shessh! aku tak tahan lagi.
takpe, aku ajak ajue ke kantin beli mee hoon, makanan ruji aku. tapi bila dah beli,aku tak boleh nak makan pulak. jantung yg asyik berdebar2 tu dah block selera makan aku. mata aku tertumpu kat jam di dinding. setiap saat aku kira. aku dah jadi macam org gila dan aku tak boleh nak duduk langsung.
1/2 jam sebelum ke udara, aku mundar-mandir dalam opis sampai dia org semua rimas tengok aku. aku pulak lompat sana lompat sini, stretch sana stretch sini bagi nak hilangkan debaran dan kepanikan aku. ceh! macam nak main bola lak. hehehe...
3 minit sebelum on-air, aku pun telefon Best 104 dan bercakap dgn cik Riena, DJ bertugas. 3,2,1...here goes nothing!!! Dan bercakaplah aku dgn DJ radio tu tentang servis unit aku. aku cuba buat sebaik mungkin menjawab soalan2 DJ tu macam biasa tapi aku tak berapa boleh nak sembunyikan nervousness aku.
ada jugaklah aku tersasul-sasul beberapa kali. Europah! Malunya aku! Aku nak sebut Eropah tapi dalam kepala otak aku keluar perkataan Europe, bila keluar dari mulut jadi Europah! Apsal lah ngok sangat aku ni. padahal berlatih ngan zal malam tu beriya-iya. itulah dia, buat joke bodoh byk sgt masa praktis, kan dah tersasul.
aku rasa macam dalam mulut aku ada bergumpal-gumpal kapas yang buat aku rasa susah nak cakap dgn jelas. entahlah, bila dengar balik aku rasa macam org boleh fahamlah kut apa biji butir yg aku sebutkan. entah2 lepas ni boss aku hantar aku pergi speech teraphy lak tak pasal2. 
15 minit tu aku rasa macam 15 jam. nasib baik ada dua org kawan aku duduk sebelah utk bagi semangat kat aku. thanks guys. ajue lagi kelakar, dia kata perut dia pulak yg rasa sakit tengok aku nak on air. ada jugak org nak hiburkan aku dlm saat genting camni. lps tu baca tulisan semangat yg kengkawan cyber bagi sebelum on air jugak banyak membantu. tak, semangat gua tak hilang!
kata baba, suara aku macam control macho, eleh blah lah lu, aku tau kau bengang sbb aku bukak lagu sua sue kemuning - the pilgrim. sebab dlm lagu tu ada lirik cik baba jatuh dalam kolam. huahuaha (gelak jahat).
walau camna, aku dah pun lalui satu cabaran di thn baru hijrah ni. w/pun aku tidak menghasilkan yang terbaik, sekurang-kurangnya aku dah memberikan yang terbaik ikhlas dari lubuk hati aku..(ye ke ikhlas????)
It's always saddened me to watch this two team play each other. The reason was because though a Milanista, I'd supported Lazio for the sake of Nesta. And somehow i've become rather fond of the players. So, with a heavy heart I watched the game.
Milan's midfield without Kaka and Gattuso didn't look so sharp. Lazio was the better team in the first half. Milan's defenders had to work extra hard to keep Fiore, Lopez and even Stam away. Though not really threatening, a little mistake here and there would definitely give Lazio a chance to score. I was a bit worried about Kaladze's clearances. He conceded about 10 corners from his clearances.
Actually, the combination of Fiore-Lopez-Corradi were really impresssive and sometimes deadly but Milan's defense especially the two "aging" central defenders were simply amazing and not forgetting Dida's many saves.
Maldini and Costacurta still created a great partnership IMHO. Both worked hard to stop the Lazio forwards. Lazio is a great team and the players are all very talented. I just didn't know what went wrong. In terms of defends, both had strong defends. It's really impossible for Milan to penetrate Lazio's penalty area. Lazio-s back four - Favalli, Mihajlovic, Couto and Stam somehow reminded me of a huge brick wall. Nesta's legacy I guess.
The combination of Sheva and Tomasson didn't go too well maybe because both were in lower/poor form. Nothing much came out from those two. how very unspectacular. Rui Costa was ineffective again.That's bad news man! I love Cafu, I mean for a player who had won almost all the important championships in the world of football, he still had the drive to give his all. Cafu and Seedorf were the most elegant players that night. Ambrosini had done all he could to help the forwards but to no avail.
The passing was terrible though. Both teams were playing safe I think so nothing interesting in the second half. Sometimes I think Ancelotti was the most stubborn coach ever. I expected him to substitute JD for Inzaghi much earlier because Inzaghi took a long time to really warm up to the game.
By bringing in both Gattusso and Inzaghi, the game took a different twist, well a little bit only. It's more lively in the middle and forwards. As for Pirlo much of his passes left a lot to be desired.
In this game, much of the attacks came from the right flank where Cafu operates. And when the goal came in at the 75th minutes, it was this four magical movement that made the goal possibled.
The long defense-splitting pass from Pirlo (the only memorable pass he did that night and the most important) to Cafu and from Cafu to Seedorf who delivered a lovely cross to Ambrosini who dived to give a powerful header past Peruzzi and gave Milan the lead. Such a beautiful game from the champion when they felt like it, that is.
So many memories at this Olimpico stadium where Nesta was once the Capitano of the Biancocelesti. No longer wearing a sky-blue jersey, he is a red black Rossoneri now...Forza Milan! Forza Nesta!
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