|
dan jendela pun berbisik...
"Life is not about what you've gained, but what you've done" - Wong Ka Kui (1962 - 1993)
"I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it" - The Friends of Voltaire, 1906
"A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste" - Anonymous
"If you read, you will judge" - Kurt Cobain
last modified Mar 17, 2005 at 0:17
diy was grinning from ear to ear when once smiled warmly at her.
Menonton konsert Dewa dan berdepan dengan ahli-ahli Dewa memang merupakan antara impian yang terdapat dalam senarai kehidupan "keduniaan" aku. tak sangka pulak impian itu benar-benar tercapai bila khamis lalu aku ke kamdar mid valley untuk sesi bertemu Dewa.
aku puas dapat bersalam dan bergambar dengan ahmad dhani yang pada pendapat aku sangat bijak bermain kata-kata dan menghasilkan alunan-alunan merdu yang menjadi santapan aku setiap hari. pertama kali menatap wajah dhani dari dekat, terngiang-ngiang di telinga aku lagunya yang berjudul Hadapi dengan Senyuman. entah kenapa lidah aku menjadi kelu bila berhadapan dengan dhani lantas aku hanya mampu menghulur tangan untuk bersalam. mahu sahaja aku ucapkan semoga dia tabah menghadapi dugaan-dugaan hebat yang sedang melanda dirinya itu tapi lidah kelu tidak boleh berkata-kata. hanya senyuman yang dilemparkan.
aku juga mahu bertanyakan sesuatu dengan once tapi senyuman lebarnya membuat aku terpana lantas hilang segala skrip di dalam kepala aku. hahaha.. akhirnya aku hanya mampu bertukar senyuman dan bersalaman sahaja dengannya.
pertemuan itu membuat aku tidak sabar untuk menonton konsertnya di kl tower. sabtu pagi, aku pergi kerja dengan penuh semangat kerana malamnya aku dan diy akan menonton konsert dewa buat pertama kalinya. petang sabtu, aku pergi ke kelas seperti biasa. sebenarnya dah dua minggu, aku belajar main lagu-lagu peter pan kerana lagu-lagunya sangat senang untuk dipelajari. chord2nya simple gila, aku pun suka sebab sekali ajar aku dah dapat. tapi minggu ni cikgu aku kata dia nak ajar sesuatu yang baru, strumming cara reggae. aku dengan penuh semangat, terus bersetuju. manalah aku tau yang strumming cara reggae tu susah nak mampos lebih-lebih lagi bila banyak main barre chords.
lagu dye'r make'r tu sheryl crow nyanyi as a tribute to led zeppelin. cikgu aku main 2 stail, satu cara sheryl crow, satu lagi cara original led zeppelin. dia tanya mana satu aku nak ikut. termenung aku sekejap. memang excited gila nak main. aku pilih version sheryl crow. 4 chords, basic giler tapi susah jugak nak main. rhythm dah ada tapi aku punya pause in between strumming tu tak dapat-dapat sampai kelas aku terlajak jadi 40 minit. sikit punya geram aku. kalau aku dapat master strumming reggae style ni, macam2 lagu reggae aku boleh main, no woman, no cry ke, lagu big mountain ke. nampak senang tapi sebenarnya quite complex jugak. i mean nak masukkan bunyi the staccato attack tu. senyapkan bunyi bass. argghh!!!mencabar kesabaran aku betul. tak apa - hadapi dengan senyuman. 
d-day - 28/5/05
lepas mahgrib, aku dgn diy keluar rumah dengan penuh semangat menuju ke kl tower untuk menyaksikan konsert Dewa bersama beribu-ribu baladewa yang lain. aku tengok ramai jugak budak-budak kat apartment aku yang keluar serentak menuju ke destinasi yang sama. sampai sana dah dekat pukul 9 kut. gerhana ska cinta tengah nyanyi. punyalah ramai baladewa yang lain, aku tengok pun seram. aku pelik kenapa dia nak buat konsert ni kat kl tower. status band macam dewa ni, kena buat kat stadium barulah gempak. oang yg datang awal dapatlah duduk kat depan-depan dan orang macam aku ni datang lambat, diri ajelah kat belakang pastu tengok kat skrin.
w/pun sound system hancus tapi suara once tetap menggegarkan apatah lagi bila nyanyi lagu-lagu lama dewa - aku milik mu, kosong, pupus, arjuna mencari cinta, separuh nafas, diselang selikan dengan lagu-lagu daripada album laskar cinta.
Kamu … seperti hantu
Terus … menghantuiku
Kemanapun tubuhku pergi
Reff : Didalam keramaian aku masih merasa sepi …
Sendiri memikirkan kamu …
Kau genggam hatiku
Dan kau tuliskan namamu …
Kau tulis namamu …
dah lama aku tunggu nak dengar once nyanyi lagu ni live. entah kenapa lagu kosong ni begitu memberi kesan dalam jiwa aku sejak pertama kali aku mendengarnya. terutamanya bait-bait ayat di dalam keramaian aku masih merasa sepi... kadang-kadang aku pun ada rasa camtu. rasa sepi walaupun dikelilingi keluarga dan rakan-rakan dan aku sendiri tak tau kenapa. melodi lagu ini yang agak mellow sangat meruntun jiwa. ah! bukan boleh layan sangat perasaan ni.
once and the gang macam tak percaya bila tengok the fans can sing every words siap dengan lenggok2 sekali betul. hahaha...mungkin Dewa masih trauma lagi dengan kegagalan konsert dia orang masa tahun 2003 dulu kot. so, that's why once macam tak percaya dia org ada ramai peminat kat sini. tapi apa yang pasti, once memang a true performer. a very smart performer at that. dia memang pandai berinteraksi dan sangat peka dengan apa yang berlaku di bawah pentas. it's almost like he knew what the fans were doing. he's witty and has a high sense of humour. aku tabiklah dekat once.
tiada apa yang boleh aku katakan tentang dhani melainkan dia seorang artis yang berada dalam kelas yang tersendiri. sukanya aku tengok dia at his best dengan gaya rambut barunya tu. nampak lebih muda dan hensem. hahaha...gifted musician and lyricist. a music maestro.
bunyi drum tyo walaupun dibantu kerana kecederaan yang belum pulih sepenuhnya, memang superb, power giler, kalaulah dia orang bagi dia perform solo at least sekali pun, mesti aku happy gila. andra membuktikan kenapa dia layak bersama dewa bila permainan gitarnya itu sendiri membuatkan aku teruja gila terutama bila bab solo, macam tu gak yuke dengan bassnya.
dekat 20 lagu jugak Dewa persembahkan untuk peminat-peminatnya malam tu. kata once, baladewa2 di KL bagus sebab tak merusuh atau apa. memanglah. rata-rata aku tengok, memang peminat dewa lebih ramai yang berumur pertengahan 20 dan ke atas. rata-ratanya educated, matang dan pergi ke konsert untuk menikmati persembahan, tidak lebih daripada itu. remaja pun ramai juga yang datang. baguslah, biar mereka sama-sama menikmati lagu-lagu Dewa yang tidak hanya berbekalkan kisah percintaan sesama manusia tetapi juga cinta kepada Tuhan yang maha Esa. tapi ada jugaklah yang datang konsert hanya untuk apa, aku pun tak tau. to each his own, i guess.
ini adalah konsert yang terbaik pernah aku tengok. memang best giler. aku harap dewa akan datang lagi. dua tiga kali setahun pun aku tak kisah. yang pastinya muzik dewa kekal dalam senarai top 10 aku. dewa rules!
I rarely read horoscope until i met my colleague. The Muse as i like to call her is crazy about horoscope. She read her horoscope and her friends and family's horoscope religiously. Every morning, she sits at my cubicle and reads to me my horoscope. It amused me to watch her so into this star sign stuff. Sometimes, when the prediction was almost correct, she would become so excited which made it difficult for me not to be affected by her enthusiasm.
Ironically, my horoscope this week focused on making a decision. According to the horoscope, i shouldnt be a fence-sitter instead i have to make a choice no matter how painful it is. hell, i shouldnt have been bothered by the comment but the subject was too close to my heart to be ignored.
the final champions league in istanbul tonight is all about choices, at least for a football fan like me. the mouth-watering match may have been a dream come true for both the liverpool and milan fans but for a fan of both, it's a nightmare. it forced me to delve deeper into my heart and questioned my loyalty towards both teams.
milan and liverpool have a lot to lose. I want liverpool to win the champions league because if they lose, they wont be able to play in the CL next season. i want milan to win the champions league because they just lost the scudetto and having played so well all season, it would be a tragedy for milan if they dont win anything.
so, im back to square one. there's no room for people like me in the world of football because it is too agonising to watch the teams that i love play each other in the final of such huge tournament such as the champions league. my non-football fan friends told me that i shouldnt take this matter so seriously as it is just a game. well, they were wrong. it is more than just a game to me at least. they dont understand how i felt about the game but i can hardly blame them because i myself didnt understand why i like football so much and why i am so attached to these two clubs.
would i choose cisse and baros over sheva and crespo? did i love nesta more than carragher? did i admire pirlo more than xabi? i still dont have the answer. will i be glad if one of the teams become the champion of europe? there are so many questions that will be left unanswered. what i do know is i am proud of the two clubs. no matter what the critics said about both team reaching the final with the help of lady luck, i still believe that liverpool and ac milan deserved to be in the final even though it will break my heart.
i wish them luck in tonight's game. i know both teams' strengths and weaknesses but i just dont have the heart to write about them in this weblog of mine simply because it's too painful to pit both teams against each other. will people consider me disloyal to milan if i write milan's first and vice versa.
whatever the outcome of tonight's final, forza milan and forza liverpool.
i am going to kuching, sarawak again on monday. oh man! i just went there last month. and im going to stay at the same hotel near the waterfront. james brook cafe, here i come, again. hahaha...will be out of the office for one whole week.
watching juventus defeated milan at the san siro really broke my heart. there's this ominous sense of change for the worse, of impending doom. it was not so much of the game itself but more on what would become of milan, next season.
even if i dont want to admit it, sports especially football is a cruel world. no matter how much you love the players, you know that there will come a time when they have to be replaced by more younger and skillful players. skill, passion and experiences are important ingredients as football players but what good will these do if the legs are easily tired.
milan have world class defenders who can easily thwart any possible attacks from their opponents. the back four made milan's penalty box invincibled. but, no matter how great maldini, stam and cafu are, they cant "defy the gravity". age factor made them ran a little slower and reacted a little later.
the expansion of 20 teams in the seria a starting from the 2004/2005 season, is taking its toll on top clubs such as milan. crazy schedules created pressure on milan team and in the end, aging players like maldini and stam were the one who sufferred and they couldnt sustain their wonderful performance towards the end of the season.
in the recent match, juventus players were in better shape than milan since they didnt have any tough game in the middle of the week. milan however, had yet to recover from the many scars carved by the tough psv which managed to expose milan and made the team look vulnerable.
this is not an excuse given for milan's defeat but a simple fact that is hard to swallow. i am not prepared to lose players such as maldini, cafu and stam, not yet. however, milan do need to buy young defenders as back up. the goal by trezeguet wasnt so great but the bicycle kick by del piero was really excellent. nesta couldnt anticipate the move but he was playing below par. he is a good reader of a game and if he was close enough and fast enough, del piero wouldnt have the chance to do what he did last sunday. stam who was normally good in the air was caught sleeping and didnt block trezeguet's header. dida was confused because his defenders didnt do their work and he too was caught off guard with the only goal in the game.
the most important thing a team must remember when meeting juventus is never to let them score an early goal. NEVER! i guess milan forgot about them. juventus has a very strong defend, only second to milan. hahaha...(nak jugak menang tu). their style was simple, they would close the game right after they scored and with the like of zebina, cannavaro, thuram and zambrotta defending the penalty box, it would take a real creative and daring team to penetrate it. milan are daring and creative in the early season but at the time of the match which was the most crucial, they were nothing more than an empty shell. sheesh! it hurts to even write or think about the game.
even the normally relentless gattuso look subdued during the match. he was no longer the driving force in the milan midfield in the last several games. pirlo had yet to regain his form after the last injury. seedorf was a disappointment. kaka's leg was shackled by the tight defence and sheva could hardly be called creative. i could hardly blamed him since tomasson failed to prove his worth in the starting XI. the only bright spot in the game was the substitute pippo inzaghi. he created chances for milan. how he did! but it was milan which were unlucky that night. collina, my favourite referee did a horrible judgment when he refused to give a penalty to milan when cafu was brought down in juve's penalty area. collina, you are not my favourite anymore. milan still have another three games to finish so do juventus. as a milan fan, i hope juventus will slip in any of their remaining games. if parma managed to beat juventus this weekend, all milan fans will be eternally grateful to the team.
forza milan anyway.
i am sad that the football season is going to end soon. i will definitely get the football withdrawal symptom. i will be clueless and dont know what to do with my saturday and sunday nights or even in the middle of the week. but hey, the world cup qualifying round has yet to end. that's a good prospect. hahaha...
calling all BALADEWA, let's not miss this concert. 16 days and counting....
''Terus terang dalam hidup gue, banyak orang yang datang dan pergi. Tapi di hati gue, hanya lu lu sahabat sejati gue,''
the above dialogue was extracted from an indonesian movie entitled mengejar matahari. i bought the vcd while i was in jakarta together with two other movies entitled arisan and virgin. i wasnt into film review or anything, in fact, i hated the subject when i was studying. to each, his own i guess. what i considered a good movie might have been bad to some because film is very subjective. i couldnt care less about the effect used or camera angle whatnot except for its script. i love a good script in film.
and another subject that i am fascinated with is friendship. mengejar matahari is a film about friendship between four boys. the four of them come from different backgrounds and each has his own unique characterization. Ardi, the main character, a passive dependent and emotionally suppressed young man, constantly belittled by his father since childhood. Damar, an angry young man who loves to fight and acted as the group's protector. Apin, the joker, wants to be a film director. Nino comes from a slightly wealthy family and his quiet and matured character balanced the whole friendship as he always ended up being the peacekeeper.
it reminded me of my own friendship. character-wise, my friends and i are totally on the opposite side. im very sensitive and temperemental, kinead has a larger than life attitude, diy is unpredictable while liza is the peacekeeper. i am amazed that we still remained best friend after almost 20 years.
well, the film started with a monologue from ardi, the main character. it was a fast-moving film and centred more on ardi and his growing relationship with a girl, rara who would eventually come between the four friends. i was a bit disappointed because the director didnt explore more on the friendship between them. but from what little scripts that the movie had and little gestures from the four boys, you knew that they love and care about each other.
those four boys also have a ritual of their own called chasing the sun. they would race each other from one end of the flat to another before dawn to "catch the sun". i think that was some kind of escapism for them. but i like the scene of them running towards wherever they imagined the sun was.
i guess i was so used to watching indonesian movies that reflected the rich, the glamorous and the modern side of jakarta that the backdrop for mengejar matahari was simply refreshing. there was no huge mansions and big cars to gawk at in this movie, instead old, run down blocks of flats with narrow alleys dominated the whole film. sometimes, i felt almost claustrophobic watching a film that only revolved around one place. in this case, the flats or rumah susun as the indonesian called them became the centre in the movie. i would love to go to this area and explore them. i believed the film was shot at the Rumah Susun Kebun Kacang in tanah abang. i was in tanah abang recently and if i knew i would have gone there. the film made me curious about the life of the people in that area. i do wish the director showed more of the community at the rumah susun.
mengejar matahari had so many layers that you just have to dissect them one by one. In my humble opinion, the film is quite good and of course it has its fair share of weaknesses but what film does not, right?
friendship to me is a very strange thing. we are brothers and sisters but without the blood ties. in reality, we are a total stranger before we become friends, right? we will never forget how we first met our friends. it would make an interesting story that we could pass to our children. how do we make our friendship works, that’s another story altogether. understanding, empathy, tolerance, patience and love are some of the important ingredients needed to cement a forever kind of friendship. and another important thing is, how do we cope when our best friends fall in love or getting married? i guess there was no harm if you include your friends in the relationship. go out and have coffee together once or twice and introduced the boyfriend to your friends. it works with me. sometimes, i do hang out with my best friend and her husband when i go back to my hometown.
i have had my shares of fair-weathered friends throughout my life. they come and go like the four seasons and only real friends would stay. the friends who stayed are the one i treasured the most. these are the people who are willing to accept me as i am (apa adanya). apart from my family, my friends are the most important people in my life. just like ardi in mengejar matahari, i do feel that my friends are my matahari
Adi, i can understand your reason for saying that milan players were tired and might be distracted with another big game this coming sunday with juventus. i will give you the benefit of the doubt but still, that was a classic answer from hardcore fans. Hehe.. im a milan hardcore too u know.
but to say milan was better than psv in the semi finals, i beg to differ. on paper, yes milan were the better team but in the match, psv players outplayed and outwitted and outrun milan players. did u know why milan win? it's because of the quality of milan players and not because they had a great tactical vision or something.
i am first and foremost a FOOTBALL fan. i love football match more than i love any football club. if i was a neutral, i would have said that psv was the better team in both legs. but as a milan fan, i will still say psv was the better team in both legs. and Adi, do you know what was the sad part of the game, that you and i and the rest of the milan fans know that milan is of course are far more better than psv but milan let themselves got beaten in such a humiliating way and for that i couldnt accept or even forgive.
cafu had to struggle to keep up with the Korean player, lee and created so many mistakes. both him and kaladze were left to help the defense so much, they hardly had time to help with the attack. sheva had to go deep to collect the ball and then there was nobody upfront to score the goal because he was the only forward. the christmas formation that ancelotti used didnt do justice because the players didnt deliver at all.
five midfielders and none of them except for kaka played to win. ambrosini got the chance to score because he was the only element of surprise that milan had. in a way, that was smart of ancelotti to use ambrosini who was never a starter to play in the first eleven cause nobody was marking him. an unknown player was difficult to defend because you didnt know what his potential was. normally, ambrosini was a supersub right? i guess that smart. it's a good thing i continued this analysis on the second day where i could think more clearly. yesterday, i was so angry i could hardly think and i was so full of emotion. hehehe...
but still, the thing that made me so angry was because of the reputation. if milan played that badly in the serie a, i didnt really care because not everyone watched serie a. but champions league was a different ball game altogether. the whole world was watching. people would say: "alamak, macam ni ke milan main, camni pun boleh menang and go to final ke? menang nasib je" i didnt want that stigma.
how deep is my love towards milan and liverpool? it is so deep that i will support both team or perhaps i will become a neutral. that's the only way to solve my problem. what's wrong with having two different teams to support. i dont want to choose and i refuse to do so even if someone put a gun on my head and asked me to choose either one. i have already disappointed a few of my liverpool friends and several of my milan friends. both sides wanted me to take side and told me that it was unfair for me to support both. why was it unfair? i wasnt born in milan or liverpool, so i do have a choice to support either one or both and i choose both. i rest my case....
forza milan! forza liverpool!
p/s: diy, arsenal vs Liverpool weekend ni. Siapkan bantal, kita gaduh kat bilik masa tengok game tu nanti. Hahaha….
the best team lost last night and it was not milan. yes, my favourite team will go to the champions league final on may 26th but for once i think that they dont really deserve it. my heart went out to the dutch team. psv eindhoven managed to do what other teams failed to do, scored against milan. except for barcelona, no other teams managed to get past the milan defence in the champions league and last night, psv had shown how fragile milan defence was.
in fact, it wasnt just milan's back four, the whole team sucks. the formation sucks, the coach sucks and i think milan had to be grateful that lady luck was smiling on them cause i believed without luck, milan would have been on the losing side. i'll take that back, they did lose the game and if not for the weird uefa rule on away goal, psv would have gone through.
milan was beaten hands down. instead of showing the world how ordinary psv was, it was milan which was ordinary, vulnerable in all department. ancelotti was so confident of defending the 2-0 win, he decided to play lone striker in the form of sheva. well, sheva could hardly moved, that was how good his marker was. the dutch team was quick to close down their defence every time milan went forward which they scarcely did, i tell you. it was a mistake letting the below par seedorf played in the first 11. damn, i hated it when he played badly because it affected the whole team. bad passes, giving away ball and off the mark shots were seedorf trademark last night. kaka hardly got a chance to create goal but when he did, milan had one which was enough to take them through to the final in istanbul.
this was one of the worst milan games i had ever watched. it brought back bad memory about milan's poor season in 2001. it was heartbreaking to watch such a great team like milan brought down to their knees.
milan midfield were invisibled throughout the whole game. sheesh! gattuso, ambrosini and even pirlo shouldnt have fall for the pressure created by lee and park, i mean that was the oldest tricked in the world of football man! the both of them managed to get so many free kicks out of them. and milan's weakness was always from set pieces. sheesh! if you noticed, goals conceded by milan were mostly from set pieces.
the first goal by park. it was a great field goal but looked at the mistake done by the three defenders. nesta missed the tackle on park who passed the ball to hesselink who wasnt marked closely by stam. hesselink passed the ball back to park who then scored the first goal in the 9th minute. during the time when hesselink passed the ball back to park, maldini should have covered him but he was slow to react, age factor i guess. that's the first mistake. nesta, stam, cafu and maldini were all to be blamed as they were really disorganised last night. poor man marking, bad tackle, slow reflect and hesitation, how could you as a defender hesitated to clear a goal in your own penalty box. arggh!need i go on. dida look nervous throughout the whole game.
psv was brilliant last night. they were quick to close down the game, killing the milan midfield, faster on the counter attack and control the possession of the ball. psv game last night could have been milan at their best. alamak! ada assignment plak....to be continued....
|