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dan jendela pun berbisik...
"Life is not about what you've gained, but what you've done" - Wong Ka Kui (1962 - 1993)
"I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it" - The Friends of Voltaire, 1906
"A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste" - Anonymous
"If you read, you will judge" - Kurt Cobain
last modified Mar 17, 2005 at 0:17
metafora para pendosa
:sutan dan sajakku
yang kugeleparkan malam itu dan mengelepak ke jendela rumahmu,
adalah anak-anakku.
: yang lahir bukan dari kata, melainkan kedukaan yang terus menyala, bahkan membakari jantungku.
pernah aku menjadi tengkorak karena panasnya kata-kata itu.
mereka yang menyala garang, tak selalu atas namaku.
mereka yang meliar, memporak-porandakan bukit kejantanan
:adalah kuasa lain
yang berpacu dalam kegarangan dunia dan batu-batu.
apakah lagi metafora yang kususun untuk memenjara mereka?
sebab terali telah hancur
dan bahasaku koyak ketika mereka siap
pergi dan berjalan
bahkan saat aku tertidur.
mereka yang merobek selaput mimpiku,
berlari-lari di atas kepala.
adalah duka kita sendiri, yang terlanjur berdarah nanah.
:sebuah sejarah manusia, yang engkau
dan aku tak akan mampu
mengingkarinya
Rawamangun, 2002
Sajak oleh Sihar Ramses Simatupang
pertama kali aku berjumpa dengan penyajak dari jakarta ini dua bulan lepas, aku tidak kenal siapa dia. malah aku tidak familiar pun dengan hasil kerjanya. yang aku tahu cuma ada penulis budaya dari jakarta yang akan mengikut aku pusing-pusing di bandar kuching.
sekali pandang, aku tahu ada sesuatu yang istimewa tentangnya. dengan rambut panjang paras bahu, t-shirt yang tertera wajah dan nama pablo neruda serta jeans dan jaket jeans berwarna biru lusuh, aku tahu dia ni memang lain dari yang lain.
memang artists are exceptional people. senang aje nak identify dia orang ni sebab rata-ratanya eksentrik sikit. ada orang kata these arty-farty type snooty sikit, memang pun tapi tidak semua. sihar ni humble orangnya tapi memang sedikit pelik pada pendapat akulah.
sayangnya, aku tidak punya banyak kesempatan untuk berbual panjang dengan dia. dan aku jugak terkilan sebab tak dapat bawak dia melawat rumah pena.
apa yang best, aku happy giler bila dia hadiahkan aku sebuah buku kecil yang mengabadikan himpunan karya-karya puisi dia. sekarang buku ni dah jadi one of my treasured poem collections sekali dengan buku puisi a samad said, suara dari dinding dewan. yang bestnya dua-dua buku ada signature penulisnya.
mungkin satu hari nanti, aku akan bertemu lagi dengannya. kalau tidak di kuala lumpur, mungkin di jakarta, siapa tahu. tapi janjinya kalau aku datang ke jakarta, dia bisa menjadi guide, teman dan sahabat.
saturday morning saw me and the muse driving in sentul trying to find the new klpac(kuala lumpur performing arts center) by reading the map downloaded from the actorstudio website. fortunately, it was easy to find. actually, the muse and i had a press conference to attend to. i was feeling a little digruntled because i had to work on my offday. anyway, right after we make a turn to Jalan Strachan, i felt like alice in wonderland. it was such a perfect place to build a performing arts center. along the way, green scenery greeted me left and right granting me the serenity that i craved for. the first time i saw the bricks building of the new klpac, the word rustic came to mind. it was indeed charmingly simple yet so beautiful. the architects didnt get rid of the old to build the new instead they combined both and the effect was spectacular and it wasnt even 100% complete. workers were everywhere lending their strength and expertise to beautify the glasses building.
walking slowly towards the entrance, i saw dancers everywhere walking so gracefully here and there unknowingly making ordinary person like me felt so inelegant. as the press conference is about the upcoming Malaysian Dance Festival, the stairs leading to the pc room were littered with dancers of all kind; all clad in their own traditional costumes giving a hint of their traditional dance movement to the guests as we marched towards the room. i simply love it and i did feel that this was a press conference with a difference.
dancers are passionate people who communicate through the movement and the rhythm of their bodies and facial expressions. one dancer in particular made my eyes watery and touched my emotion with her passionate and honest to the core off the cuff speech. she cried, she laughed, she was so expressive, she talked so passionately about the project, it was almost embarassing to watch. after putting her mind and soul and sacrificing a lot for a year to organise an event called Malaysian Dance Festival - Living Heritage, she had the right to do and say whatever she wanted at the pc. i hope other dancers in the room would be inspired by her. i am no dancer but i can understand passion.
i dont know about others but for me dancers need no script to tell stories. i can feel the happiness and the sadness through the dancers' every leap, bound, twist and bend.
i really hope that the 10-day dance festival fill with fascinating workshops and creative showcases will be supported by the Malaysians. there are a bit of everything for everyone, from zapin to ballet to indian classical dance to contemporary dance. both local and international dancers will mesmerize us with their talent and creativity.
oh, did i tell how clumsy i was that i almost fell of the stair in front of the lady of the klpac herself, faridah merican. she caught my hand afraid that i would stumble down. oh malunya tahap dewa. sheesh!
before we left the klpac, the muse gave me the best present i would ever have; a painting catalogue signed simply - To C.T. by the artist himself jailani abu hassan or better known as Jai. i was speechless but overjoyed. oh wow! thanks so muc the muse, well actually her boyfriend the painter who got it for me cause he knew i admired jai so much since my student's days. jai's latest exhibition is entitled wet paint. lovely painting. cant afford them though and it was sold out anyway.
courtesy The Star
to be continued...
To Whom It May Concern!
Ah! Hatiku yang tak mau memberi
Mampus kau dikoyak-koyak sepi.
-Chairil Anwar-
it was true that i went to a Dewa concert without having the chance see them performed on stage. yeah, it sucks big time. i didnt even know what clothes they were wearing and half of the time, i didnt really know what was happening on the stage. what a pathetic concert-goer i was.
on the way to the concert, i tried to figure out the layout of the show. where would they put the stage and where would the fans stand? From what i saw, the organiser either had no conscience or just plain stupid. KL Tower was the dumbest place to hold a rock concert especially a rock band of Dewa's magnitude. how in the hell could u put fans on a stage that was parallel with the main stage. the way they put the two small screens on the left and right side of the stage was like an afterthought. we were so far from the stage, even the screens look blur. they didnt have overhead cameras and most of the visuals that we managed to see on the screens turned out to be the back of the fans' head.
if the band was other than Dewa, i would have probably leave there and then. near the entrance, there was another stage. for 2 and a half hours it became ours. of course we had to share it with hundred others but they too were true dewa fans.
i was watching a dewa concert without really seeing them. i was like a blind woman using my ears to guide me to places. and i believed standing so far from the stage and relying solely on my acute sense of hearing was far more better than being sandwiched in front of the main stage. for with my eyes closed, i swear i could hear once's raspy voice as if he was singing right beside me. i could clearly heard him slurred while singing roman picisan and that was the only way to sing that song. i swear i could feel the vibration of his voice during arjuna mencari cinta. i could hear the sadness, the pride and the determination in dhani's voice when he sang cinta gila dan hadapi dengan senyuman.
i could hear the strains echoed from andra's guitar and i saw in my mind his fingers gliding effortlessly from one chord to another. and i imagined seeing yuke plucking his bass seducing me with its deep resonant tone. tyos' skillful play on the drums got my heart beating accordingly.
for two and a half hours, diy and i stood on the stairs of the stage listening and singing to every songs from roman picisan to bunga to aku milikmu to arjuna to pupus to cukup siti norbaya to matahari, bulan dan bintang to pangeran cinta to satu to cinta gila to kosong to hadapi dengan senyuman to hidup ini indah to mistikus cinta to separuh nafas to angin and to cintakan membawa kau kembali.
the night was terribly hot but i could hardly notice as i was really entranced by the complex yet poetic lyrics and the melodic songs that could pierce through even the most hardened heart. for two and a half hours, it was just me and dewa's music while the rest of the baladewa ceased to exist.
best view?????
i was not ready when once sang dewa's last song kamulah satu-satunya :-
Kamulah satu - satunya
Yang ternyata mengerti aku
Maafkan aku selama ini
Yang sedikit melupakanmu
damn, there were so many songs that once had yet to sing. kasidah cinta, risalah hati, elang, cemburu, dua sejoli and the lists went on. i didnt know why all the baladewa didnt cry for an encore. one more song please, just one more cried I but only silently in my heart.
it was a concert filled with flaws but none of it was dewa's fault as they were perfect on stage. dewa was long gone but diy and i were reluctant to leave the stage. it was if we could still hear once's voice ringing in our ears. we finally left kl tower without a backward glance and felt positive that dewa will return soon. it will be hard for dewa to resist the temptation of performing again in front of thousands of loyal baladewa of kuala lumpur.
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