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dan jendela pun berbisik...
"Life is not about what you've gained, but what you've done" - Wong Ka Kui (1962 - 1993)
"I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it" - The Friends of Voltaire, 1906
"A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste" - Anonymous
"If you read, you will judge" - Kurt Cobain
last modified Mar 17, 2005 at 0:17
kepada CSI fans yang menonton episod ke-2 CSI season 6 mesti familiar dengan lagu ni.
Mad World" - Gary Jules
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world
akhirnya, habis jugak drama korea ni kat astro. aman sikit hidup aku, kalau tak asyik tunggu tiap2 hari pukul 10.30 malam. aku dengan diy macam nak gila tengok drama sad love story ni. jalan cerita dia biasa aje tapi yang aku dengan diy hook macam nak gila tu, aku sendiri pun tak faham kenapa. mungkin sebab hero ngan heroine dia hensem dengan lawa kut, tapi soundtrack drama ni memang best gila. aku dah siap download semua 21 lagu free-free jer kat internet tu. lepas tu aku burn bagi kat diy, hahaha...jimat duit. dulu aku rasa macam hensemnya hero-hero drama korea ni kalau nak banding dengan team bola sepak dia orang. yelah kalau nak bandingkan hero sad love story ni dengan park ji sung, pemain bola korea selatan tu macam langit dengan bumi gamaknya.
tapi lama-lama baru aku tau yang kalau nak survive dalam entertainment industry kat korea selatan, nak tak nak kau kena buat cosmetic surgery kalau tak jangan harap nak jadi hero. mostly dia orang ni bedah tang mata, nak bagi ada eyelid supaya tak nampaklah mata dia orang tu satu garis ajer. sekarang ni kalau aku tengok pelakon-pelakon korea yang lawa dan hensem terlebih tu, mesti aku rasa macam sangsi ajer. hahaha...
kadang-kadang aku rasa drama korea ni melodramatik sangat mengalah kan cerita tamil. semua drama korea yang aku tengok mestilah ada cinta tiga segi lepas tu hujung cerita mesti tak hero, heroine dia yang mati. mangkuk tul. cubalah bagi happy ending kan ke bagus. aku dengan diy suka drama ni mungkin sebab lagu-lagu dia best. yelah hero dalam cerita ni konon2 seorang struggling composer yang cipta lagu untuk awek dia yang buta lepas tu dapat melihat semula. nak menunggu 30 episod tu habis, rasa macam lama sangat, meleret-leret, kengkadang menyampah jugak aku. tapi tengok jugak tu. aku dengan diylah yang ngok.
i couldnt believe that i fell asleep while watching puteri gunung ledang - the musical at istana budaya last friday. and i had the best seat in the house and the ticket was free. how uncultured! i had apologised to the muse and shah for embarassing them. hahaha...yeah well! i guess it was a spectacular musical with grand backdrops and myriads of songs and dances that would have probably drove the actors and actresses to their limits.
i guess i could appreciate all that except for the acting part. im not art or theatre savy but i couldnt connect with the casts. i mean puteri gunung ledang and hang tuah combined couldnt evoke any deep emotion from my humble being and i believe im a sensitive person. and theirs were supposed to be a tragic love story but i didnt feel any sadness and there was no tears in my eyes.
i mean watching alan smith (man united player) broke his leg and dislocated his ankle in the fa match against liverpool last saturday was more heartrending than watching the unrequited love between hang tuah and puteri gunung ledang. i had tears in my eyes watching alan smith trying to cope with his injury.
the songs in the musical are too poppish for my taste. in my humble opinion, the songs arent theatrical enough to evoke such deep emotions. but the other spectators love them so, kudos to the productions.
back to alan smith, i neither like or dislike him. he made headlines a few years back while he was still playing with leeds. at the time, smith and lee bowyer were involved in a fight with an asian kid or something. i think he's a good player and it was unfortunate of him to broke his leg in such way. it kind of killed the joy of watching liverpool beat man united in fa cup after 85 years.
i just couldnt get the scene out of my mind, watching him lying there on the field begging the referee for help because the pain was so intense. gosh! just imagine the pain, i almost fainted when i dislocated my right knee early last year. oh God! i dont want to go through that pain again. even now, i couldnt really bent my knee in certain way.
as for milan, the body of levan, kakha kaladze's brother was finally found four years after his disappearance. kaladze must have been sad and relief at the same time. sad because the kidnappers killed his brother even though the family had paid the ransom and didnt even have the courtesy to return the body and relief because his brother can finally get a proper burial and the family can go on with their life, if they could. but he continued to play for milan with all his heart last saturday even though i think he was still sad.
it was very nice of milan players to hug him especially gilardino who after scoring the penalty, ran straight to kaladze and hug him with all his heart and the rest of them followed. it was their way of showing their support to him and his family. the fans too show their support to kaladze using the banner to comfort him.
liverpool fans too gave alan smith a round of applause as a mark of sympathy for his injury.
sigh! i guess shakespeare was right, All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players...
aku dah nak pening kepala menahan ngantuk ni, tak tidur dari pukul 4 pagi tadi. nasib baiklah liverpool menang, kalau tak sia-sia ajer aku berjaga. kalau game liv-arse, apa lagi maknanya aku vs diyana ler. apa yang aku perasan, kalau tengok game liv-arsenal, diy dgn aku mesti macam control sikit emotion, macam takut masing2 terasa. kalau komen pun macam fair ajer. hahaha....
tapi this morning, kita orang dua orang macam more subdued. kita orang macam kecewa sangat tengok game pagi tadi. arsenal dgn tak melawannya, liverpool pulak mangkuk, tak score-score. berbakul sumpah seranah aku pagi tadi kat morientes, fowler ngan riise. diy pulak berbakul seranah kat henry. hahaha...aku rasa arsenal kalau dia orang main betul2 semangat boleh terkangkang defence liverpool. arsenal buat satu serangan ajer, defence dah kelam kabut walaupun akhirnya serangan tumpul tu berjaya dipatahkan oleh jamie and co. alamak, bila masa aku boleh masukkan ayat mencalar imej atau melakar sejarah ni. aku suka betul kalau baca berita sukan yang guna ayat-ayat camtu, gempak seh!
berbalik pada game tu tadikan, bila benitez masukkan hamann, you can see the difference in the midfield. terubat jugak rindu aku nak tengok kau main hamann. dan dia telah membuktikan kehebatannya apabila rembatan, senang cakap, defense-splitting shot dia tu hampir menghasilkan gol untuk the reds tapi tampanan lehmann, countryman dia tu telah menyelamatkan arsenal tetapi rebound yang pantas dari garcia menafikan kehebatan lehmann. sheesh! aku memang tak reti nak komen pasal bola dalam bahasa ibunda aku sendiri. hampeh. otak aku memproses apa yang aku tengok dalam english. hahaha.... sapa punya idea mangkuk yang bagi gerrard sepak penalti tuh. dia punya rekod penalti bukannya bagus sangat. napa tak bagi regular penalty taker macam alonso ke atau kewell yang ambik.
kalau macam tulah the reds punya performance, aku tak taulah macam mana dia orang nak jumpa man united dalam fa cup this weekend. dah ler next week jumpa benfica. lepas tu aku dengar liverpool dah sign for a new defender from argentina pulak. rafa kau ni nak suruh anak buah kau main bola ke atau nak bina kubu kat anfield tu. tolonglah beli satu striker pun jadilah, janji striker yang boleh SCORE. aku dah tak tahan dah tengok strikers liverpool yang ada sekarang ni. hampeh.
p/s: best jugak tengok final african cup kat channel arab. pengulas sukan dia lagi poyo. kalau ivory coast tak score, dia jerit Alhamdulillah. kalau pengulas tu marah, semua nama firaun dia sebut, ramseslah, tutankhamenlah. aku tak faham sangat tapi aku rasa pengulas tu tujukan kat drogba sebab masa tu drogba tengah mengamuk kat padang. hahaha....lagi satu, bila tengok team macam ivory coast ke atau senegal ke, kita boleh kenal hampir semua pemain sebab most of them main kat liga2 yang famous macam serie a, epl, la liga & liga jerman. terer betullah pemain-pemain afrika nih.
GREETINGS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FABIO & ELISA
REMINDER: FEB 15 - CSI SEASON 6
semalam kita orang semua menunggu dengan penuh debaran pengumuman pak lah tentang rombakan kabinet tu. berdoa lebih jugak kita orang supaya tak dapat menteri yang hampeh dan terperanjat dengan keputusan pm memberi kita orang menteri baru yang kurang dikenali.
aku memanglah tak bijak mana tapi bila aku dah bekerja dalam agensi di bawah kementerian ni, aku rasa macam ada tanggungjawab yang besar untuk sama-sama menjana ekonomi negara. chewah! tak taulah orang lain tapi mungkin sebab suasana kerja tu sendiri kut. mungkin sebab tu aku rasa yang kementerian ni memerlukan menteri yang betul-betul dinamik dan ada ciri-ciri pemikiran seperti seorang businessman. dia mesti ada visi, idea2 bernas dan smart barulah aku rasa industri ni akan boom. yang penting, dia mesti ada PR yang sangat-sangat bagus dan open minded, kalau tak, habislah.
aku rasa macam tak percaya dengan keputusan pak lah tu tapi mungkin dia lebih tahu apa yang dia buat. ada sesetengah bijak pandai kata rombakan kecil ni tak akan memberi apa2 kesan sangat tapi apa yang dia orang tau. dia orang tak bekerja dalam industri ni. segala keputusan dan idea yang datang dari menteri yang baru ni akan memberi kesan yang besar pada kementerian kita orang.
aku nak cakap lebih-lebih pun bukannya pandai sangat tapi aku risau sebenarnya memikirkan untuk dapat bos baru ni. apa pulak rombakan yang dia nak buat kalau dah masuk kementerian ni. apa kelebihan yang dia ada yang akan membolehkan kementerian ni terus maju dan mencapai sasaran kerajaan.
apa-apa pun aku ni balachi ajer. walau berpuluh ucapan dia orang aku tulis pun, dia orang bukan tau sapa yang tulis. entahlah, aku doa aje supaya menteri baru ni akan membawa perubahan ke arah kebaikan dalam kementerian ni. selamat datanglah aku ucapkan untuk dia orang. ada banyak events sepanjang minggu ni dan minggu depan yang dah menanti ahli baru kita tu nanti. jangan culture shock sudah!
aku baru aje dapat tengok karikatur menghina rasulullah s.a.w., karya-karya manusia bangang tak bertamadun dari denmark tu. oh, sebelum tu Selamat Menyambut Hari Asyura. puasa jangan tak puasa.
aku rasa dia orang tu masih lagi hidup dalam dark ages sebab orang bertamadun tak akan terfikir nak buat pertandingan melukis kartun yang memperlekehkan seorang rasul. kenapa nabi Muhammad, kenapa tak Nabi Isa atau Nabi Musa, or by right, kenapa tak open tu semua 25 nabi dan rasul. tak nak pulak. nampak sangat dia orang tu memang ada niat nak menghina nabi Muhammad.
freedom of the press, konon. macamlah newspaper kau tu tak di control oleh government or individual tertentu. sudahlah, there's no such thing as the freedom of the press or freedom of speech dalam dunia ni. and even if there was, macam tulah jadiknya, keluarkan benda-benda mengarut yang boleh incite kemarahan atau jadikan dunia kucar-kacir. sebab tulah tak boleh ada total freedom of the press sebab ada orang-orang bangang macam editor-editor kat suratkhabar denmark tu yang pikir dia orang ada hak nak buat sesuka hati dia orang kerana kebebasan bersuara whatnot.
orang bagi kau kebebasan bersuara dan kebebasan akhbar untuk menyampaikan berita-berita bernas dan benar dan educate masyarakat kau. tapi yang kau bangang sangat salah gunakan kebebasan yang diberi untuk ajar masyarakat kau menghina rasul orang lain, apa ke halnya. eh, kalau orang islam ni nak mengridiculekan pope kau, agama kau tu, bila-bila masa aje boleh tapi kita orang ni bertamadun, yelah, bukanke islam yang bawak ketamadunan ke barat dulu?
bila abu hamza al masri tu bagi ceramah kat london, kau tuduh dia macam-macam. kata hasut untuk jadi pengganaslah, itulah, inilah. kata ada freedom of speech, habis suka hati orang tulah nak cakap apa. tapi kau penjarakan dia. ni buat kartun ni yang menimbulkan kemarahan umat Islam seluruh dunia, kau kata freedom of the presslah, jadah! piiirah! hipokrit tahap dewa nih.
tapi aku rasa best jugaklah bila sesetengah negara tu boikot barang-barang keluaran denmark tu. macam tulah baru cun. tak payah buat tunjuk-tunjuk perasaan ni, bakar embassy ke apa ker, buang masa aje. boikot ajer barang dia orang and that's the best revenge of all. aku dengar lego pun tengah rugi sekarang. HAHAHAH....
dulu masa aku sekolah rendah, suka sangat baca komik pasal kisah-kisah nabi Muhammad. korang ingat tak lagi komik tu, bila ada watak nabi Muhammad, dia orang lukis bulatan lepas tu letak tulisan jawi nama Muhammad kat dalam bulatan tu. menyesal aku tak simpan komik-komik tu, berguna sangat sebab tu senang nak ingat kisah-kisah hidup rasulullah.
aku tau dia orang dengki gila dengan rasulullah sebab orang islam ni macam mana jahat pun kecintaan pada rasulullah tu tetap menebal. sapa tak sayang rasul. i mean, aku ingat lagi masa sekolah menengah, kita orang semua menangis masa subjek sejarah islam. masa tu ustadz tengah ceritakan pasal haji wida, haji terakhir nabi Muhammad. sedih sangat masa tu, sampai ada yang teresak-esak. tak tau kenapa tiba-tiba jadi sayu bila ustadz cerita pasal haji wida. perasaan hiba tu tiba-tiba aje datang, kuasa Allah aku rasa.
tak apelah buatlah apa yang korang suka, nak hina rasul ke nak apa ker, ingat ajer surah al-kafirun: "lakum deenukum waliyadeen" = "Untuk kamu agamamu dan untukku agamaku" kengkawan, marilah bersama-sama berjihad tanpa darah....
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ish! ni semualah ni. tadi keluar lunch dengan the muse & shah. lepas tu ingatkan nak pergi beli track bottom tapi sebelum sampai kat shop tu kena lalu kat counter minyak wangi. the muse tiba-tiba berhenti kat kaunter minyak wangi guerlain. aku pun apa lagi, bukan boleh nampak minyak wangi terus aku nak try semua yang ada kat situ. lepas tu terus jatuh cinta dengan bau minyak wangi yang satu ni.
aku sebenarnya memang ada niat nak beli minyak wangi pun cuma tak berkesempatan nak survey lagi. aku dah aim satu minyak wangi lain tapi entah kenapa aku suka pulak dengan bau pivoine magnifica ni. apa lagi terus aje beli tanpa pikir panjang dan dapatlah a few gifts macam handbag dengan skincare samples. rasa puas hati giler bila beli minyak sama dengan perasaan bila team bola yang aku sokong menang. hehehe...maybe lebih...err...tak jadi beli track bottom. hahaha....
i believed rafa benitez must be blamed for the defeat against chelsea as his formation sucks. i really didnt understand this man. i mean he knew how terrible liverpool was, playing 4-5-1 during last season. and when he changed them to 4-4-2, the reds created a straight 12 games record without conceding, proving how great the liverpool's defence was.
however, he decided to go back to 4-5-1 on sunday and against chelsea of all teams. i mean putting a lone striker upfront especially a striker like crouch whose limited skill was legendary by now, against chelsea's defence was simply SUICIDAL. seriously. how could the "manager of the month" made a stupid decision like that.
why in the hell did u put harry kewell, a left footer on the right side of the field? why didnt u stick to the old, safe 4-4-2 formula and remember not to bite more than you could chew. diy and i were screaming our head off the whole game, well, diy did scream more than me which was pretty weird because she wasnt a liverpool fan. well, maybe because benitez was so stupid and stubborn.
how could you not admit that your defenders were sloppy throught the whole game? the first goal was from a set piece and this was the second time that the back four were beaten by a bloody set piece. where's the man marking? sheesh! it's humiliating to watch the whole team disintegrated and fell apart by the barrage of chelsea attacks.
young warnock and finnan should be ashamed for being beaten by aging striker like crespo. for the life of me, i couldnt understand why liverpool defenders like to play dangerously by opting to create offsides trap. i didnt understand why benitez took out sissoko and garcia and left the bloody stupid crouch on the field for full 90 minutes.
you bought fullbacks and defensive midfielders left and right but didnt buy any top, dangerous striker. well, u get fowler fo free but let me tell u this, crouch could never reach fowler's standard even if his life depended on it, that's how useless he was. he squandered chance after chance and how could you just sat there and allowed him to do that for the whole 90 minutes. i was confident that if it was fowler who was on the field, he wont miss the chances. liverpool could easily scored two or three goals.
and as for kewell, you left the man looking confused and stupid on the field when you directed him to play on the right side. i still didnt understand why you wont let him play on the left side of the field and let sissoko play in the middle. damn you benitez.
and as for the back four, how could u left your goalkeeper vulnerable like that forcing him to make that stupid tackle from behind.
and as for robben. drama queen ni, memang aku dendam sampai bila-bila. bangang. aku harap satu hari nanti ada pemain yang akan betul-betul cederakan kau sampai kau takleh main bola sampai bila-bila. cheater!
aku tak berapa faham bila Lee Swee Keong, our local performer cakap "my dance is just a dance, it is simply a movement. there's nothing abstract about it," maklumlah, aku bukan orang seni, jadi aku tak berapa sure kenapa dia cakap macam tu. anyway, bukan ke setiap tarian tu melambangkan something?
tapi mula-mula aku nak ucapkan terima kasih kat the muse sebab invite aku pergi dengan dia untuk tengok solo performance LSK yang aku kira really private, more untuk family and friends jer.
aku sebenarnya bukan tau sangat pasal LSk ni. first time aku nampak dia, masa kat KLpac. masa tu ada press conference pasal dance festival. dia jadi one of the model/penyambut tetamu kat tangga klpac tu. mula-mula aku ingatkan dia statue dengan kepala dia yang botak licin dan exotic face, duduk pulak ngan beautiful pose yang aku rasa hanya dancer macam dia aje yang boleh buat. aku terus suka kat dia walaupun tak pernah tengok persembahan dia. kuat betul aura mamat nih. hehehe...
lee swee keong sebelum buat persembahan dia cerita sikit pasal background butterfly lovers tu. rupanya cerita uda dan dara atau romeo and juliet versi china. so, the performance was his interpretation of the classic movie.
surprisingly, aku suka sangat show dia. walaupun dia kata tarian dia hanyalah satu gerakan badan ajer, aku rasa tarian dia lebih daripada tu. dia berjaya bawak aku menyelami cerita cinta tragis tu dengan pergerakan lemah gemalai dia tu yang sometimes memang susah nak predict. aku paling suka tengok dia punya facial expression, especially gory face yang macam apa tah, tak tau aku nak describe. sebenarnya, aku rasa gerakan dia tu lebih banyak menjurus ke arah pergerakan martial arts ngan yoga, say 70% benda-benda tu dan the rest was pure dance movement. muzik background memang dia ambik dari ost filem tu kut. dia kata kalau tak silap akulah, ada all kind of alat muzik yang digunakan dalam lagu tu. tapi memang bestlah. korang taulah, kalau chinese music campur ngan orchestra, pergh!
memang aku terhibur sangat dgn persembahan dia. he's an exceptional performer. anyway, lepas tengok show tu, aku nak balik terus tapi the muse, being the muse ajak aku jumpa LSK untuk ucapkan tahniah. kena ke? aku tanya. terpaksalah aku bersetuju. tapi aku glad yang the muse ajak aku jumpa LSK sebab dia pun appreciate kita orang datang. apa taknya, aku dgn the muse were the only malays jer kat situ. hahaha...lagi pun aku dapat sikit pengetahuan daripada dia mengenai tarian tu. oh betul lah apa yang aku agak sebab dia punya background, dia belajar tarian butoh, some sort of a contemporary japanese dance yang susah nak describe.
nama asal dance ni ankoku butoh atau dance of darkness, no wonder the grotesque expressions. simbol tarian ni, slow movements, the bald head and the contorted face and postures. sheesh! masa LSK buat slow movement naik tangga tu, aku ras macam tengah tengok sloth bergerak dalam national geographic tu. punyalah slow. aku rasa explanation kat bawah ni buat aku lebih memahami gerak tari yang LSK persembahkan hari tu.
To dance Butoh is to dance like no other dance on earth. It has no physical technique or common terminology for the dance itself. It is a dance unto itself, for it is the unique expression of the dancer unencumbered by language and tradition and constraint. For this reason and possibly others, it is considered by some to not be a form of dance. For some it appears that the rigorous training and mental preparation needed to acheive the state of Butoh dance makeit seems as if it is a religion. However, it is not a religion, it is a dance form, a form of performance involving movement primarily and other elements only secondarily.
lee swee keong cakap next persembahan dia mungkin dalam pertengahan tahun sebab dia akan pergi ke india lepas ni untuk mendalami yoga dan lepas tu ke jepun pulak. hebat betul mamat ni. apa-apa pun aku harap dia akan berjaya dalam karier dia tu, lagi pun he's a nice person. aku nak tunggu dia buat butoh performance complete dengan make up one day, maybe warna putih sepenuhnya atau warna emas. mesti best giler punyalah. good luck to you lee swee keong, wherever you are...
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