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something ordinary
last modified Sep 4, 2004 at 7:15
feel so so guilty to him
i betray him
i talk to other guy
i go to the party
WITHOUT HIM!!
and i was so feeling guilty
now i have to think ways to cover this things up
different kind of people make me puke
i dont like hang out with people
that explain why im so secluded
try to be more friendly lately
consequences?
have to face certain people that i dont like
and i dont want it to continue
so i dont want to be socialist again
do you understand if people kept quiet when you're around
that;s mean something is WRONG with you!!
remember that
hate people who scream
hate people who get angry easily
hate ppl who thinks others should consider her feeling more than anyone else
damn you
pass ur anger somewhere else
im not dummy
dig sympathy elsewhere
cause i have none to you
man, im back being such an angry bitch
hahahaha
i like this
i like this
just got back from class
before that went to Eid's prayer at Islamic Center
mixed feeling
really feel a lil bit disturbed seeing the road
an accident that change my life forever
everything seems like flashing back in my mind
despite my fake happiness
and big pie smile
well...its raya
have to at least feel happiness
its God's mercy
macam2 dalam kepala
cant really sort out stuff
sometime hypocrite piss me off
no need to being alim while you're embracing the freedom of friendship between man and women
start feeling the commotion in my head
too much thinking maybe
yeay raya is finally here
today's plan
-semayang raya
-got one class in afternoon
-go back and start some cooking perhaps
-do hw...need to pass up during lecture
-have fun? maybe NOT
he called me
and i was so furious
cause he didnt call me while he's in malaysia
so mad
so mad
but at least he still says he loves me
He called me
yeay!
he still in love with me
but i was so mad cause he didnt call me while he's at Malaysia
hmmm
i miss him so much
see his new pic today
omg
he is so skinny right now
cant wait to see him again
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri eveyone
and i havent call home yet
from humanforsale.com
You are worth exactly: $2,606,620.00
who want to buy me?? :P
feeling empty
i dont know why but i feel so teribble today
feel like crying
feel like hugging someone
i havent talk heart-to-heart for a long time now
now still waiting for him to call me
has he forgotten me?
dont like what im feelin' right now?
doesnt he know i love him with all my heart
i just want him back
nothing else
i want to ask forgiven
i want him
i want to talk
cause i miss him so much
so very much my chest hurts
i need him
please darling come back to me
feel like going home for raya....
waaaaa
i want almond london
i want my mom's soup
i want the lemang with ayam goreng masak merah
all i have here is packet of indomie!!
i successfully refrain myself from getting the big glass of soda during work today
huray to me
i drank cold apple cider instead
not that bad...really not that bad
well..
jason is really being nice to me
it is funny when he's trying to read his own illegible scrabbling on his note books
i ask for his note and he's being such a sweetie offer to read it instead giving it to me to figure out what he wrote
that's the big distinction between "orang putih" and melayu
me miss my man
1. Carbonated drinks are the single biggest source of refined sugars in the American diet.11 According to dietary surveys,12 soda pop provides the average American with seven teaspoons of sugar per day, out of a total of 20 teaspoons. Teenage boys get 44% of their 34 teaspoons of sugar a day from soft drinks. Teenage girls get 40% of their 24 teaspoons of sugar from soft drinks. Because some people drink little soda pop, the percentage of sugar provided by pop is higher among actual drinkers.
2. Lots of soda pop means lots of sugar means lots of calories. Soft drinks are the fifth largest source of calories for adults.They provide 5.6% of all the calories that Americans consume.16 In 12- to 19-year-olds, soft drinks provide 9% of boys' calories and 8% of girls' calories.17 Those percentages are triple (boys) or double (girls) what they were in 1977-78. Those figures include teens who consumed little or no soda pop.
3. Soda pop adds unnecessary, non-nutritious calories to the diet, though it has not been possible to prove that it (or any other individual food) is responsible for the excess calories that lead to obesity
4. People who drink soft drinks instead of milk or other dairy products likely will have lower calcium intakes
5. Refined sugar is one of several important factors that promote tooth decay (dental caries). Regular soft drinks promote decay because they bathe the teeth of frequent consumers in sugar-water for long periods of time during the day
from http://www.cspinet.org/sodapop/liquid_candy.htm
yup....
i wanna make a resolution
im not sure if im gonna stick with it
i want to stop drinking any soda pop anymore
i've been procrastinating about this for a long time
right now i have about half a dozen of Pepsi in my fridge
and i really really hope that will be the last that i'll consume all my life
i have a friend who has stop drink soda
if she can do that, so am i
so gimme some love and let's hope im gonna pass this thing up
jsut finished reading one chapter of chemistry
but havent started doing the exercise yet
i'll spend 3 days on that chapter only
cause i only gor 12 days to go to the exam
i want to do well in the exam
i really have to if i want to get at least a B
well...right now im in the mode of missing someone
im not sure what i am to him right now
im afraid of what he's saying is true afterall
im not sure if he still in love with me
he havent called me yet
the last time he call is like 2-3 weeks ago
and that;s helluva lot of time
im going through difficult moment of my life
and he's not there for me
i hate him for that
i dunno
im so mixed up right now
its feel like im all alone
nobody's there for me
people dont know what im going through
im not the heroin
but still im not the outsider looking in
im so low right now
damn it!!!
i am so frustrated...
i thought i can spend extra time during this few last days of Ramadhan to do something extra...
why im having period at the most anticipated moments of Ramadhan?
damn it!!
need to do something else that to replace the Quran reciting
to read the translation sounds good....
i have settle my first draft
now need to concentrate on chem
In the process of doing my first draft
damn...if i know it is this hard
i should meet her on wed instead of tuesday
my brain is so full with many unfamiliar terms
i just miss a week of school
and its feel like i have stop studying for a month!!!
need to finish the draft by tonight
tomorrow have to show it to my instructor
hope i get an A for this class
im so close to get the A
this paper will determine my A
wish me luck!
honestly im still afraid of what had happen lately
i dont know what to do
i dont think anyone will understand
im tired but no one noticed
i need back the life i had before
but i know that'll never happens
im so scared
sleep with the lights on
never walk alone again
im so vulnerable right now
life needs to goes on
that is what im trying to do
feeling hapless right now
want to scream but nobody will listen
too many thing lingers in my head
and i dont know what to pull out first
maybe need some rest
i feel like denying my existance
i have so much to catch up if i want to end well this semester
i need to finished my first draft by this weekend
need to go through chemistry [i havent touch a single thing]
i need to do all of what i havent done yet
damnit!
i was there when it happens
i never seen death happening before my eyes
now my mind is clouding with that the various possibilities
please pray for them
and please pray for me too
im so not on the ground right now
im still in trauma
stupid Emeril's audience
just a little hot sauce , already go crazy
and the sauce dont even "hot"
i wonder what'll happen if he put the "cili padi"
im thinking about doing aerobic class again next term
really need to shape up before going back home
to do by next week
:assignment 1 chart
:first draft for the essay
:get some yogurt
:pay someone's $15
:read chemistry
dont feel like sleeping
wanna stay up until 2 to digest up all the reading
hmmm
wanna make sure tomorrow i'll start on the draft
ok my mind is all jumbling up
didnt make sense at all
the heck
like i care
alahai
time posa laa nak sakit
got too much sin maybe
so this is one way to repay
well not feeling very well today
woke up with dry mouth and cough
maybe because of the antibiotic that i'm taking right now
feeling so so lethargic
i just wanna curl up in my blanket until ifthar
really really feeling not well right now
my throat is killing me
and im starting to cough
dry cough that hurts
i feel bloated
when will i slim down?
now i can concetrate on my research paper
need to finished the first draft by this monday
and then start digging again
i need A for this class
this is my hope
but im sure i'll doing fine
as long as i make good paper
the throbbing wound is killing me!!
i need my hand back!!
im such a loner
if i die
nobody will know
*sigh*
let's talk about happy things
i downloaded a bunch of raya's song
well i dont know a lot of them
but i really love the Black Dog Bone's song
Cahaya di Aidilfitri
yeahhh....everyone complaining what a sad song it is
i remember the song because i associated it with my life
hehehehe i was always be the one who cleaning up the house when raya's coming
and i hate it
so the BDB's song is like what i feel
sad = tortured to wipe the dust all over the house
hmmmm i guess now nobody's will clean the house the way i do
my sis such a brat
she'll never do that
need to go to a happy place
where's my happy place?
spend my days mellowing down to Alex park's music
She's the winner of Fame academy ( i managed to hook up to this show while im in UK)
cant wait for her album to come out here
well i feel much much better today
tho still not productive
dont go to class at all today
the heck....
i figure out
i need to stop thinking about what he said to me
its hurt
deep inside i hope he didnt mean it
wanna go chill somewhere
kinda nostalgic today
watched Petronas ads just now make me cry silently
i must missing home so much right now
hmmmm.....
or maybe im still feel hurt about yesterday talk's with him
think so
feel like talking to someone
but hell knows who my friends are
emo=online shopping
since i cant eat to overcome my feeling
i shops
and i ended up bidding and buying $60++ worth of dvd and furniture from eBay
damn it
but i dont care
that is the money i supposed to save and bring back home
and now i dont feel like going home at all
just to be hurt
by some crazy idiot!!
dont want to watch my weight anymore
i feel totally useless right now
all i want to do is fade to black
dont wanna get my ass up from the bed
fuck you
rasa nak gila
kalo tak takut gigi kuning
kalo bukan sebab tanak bibir ungu
dah lama dah aku hisap rokok
everything seems so crazy
ko maybe kuat
tahan dugaan suma benda
aku tak
dont judge me
im so frail inside
altho i facadely look monsterous
i will not stop rambling
until this feeling of chaos go away from my head
kalo tak sebab haram
dah lama aku mabuk
suma benda against aku
ingat aku suka pandai?
ingat aku suka duduk us?
ingat aku suka hidup?
ingat aku suka kau?
go away please
i'm bad news
aku pun tak suka aku sendiri
i wish the death...of you and me
You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.
What feeling do you represent?
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You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.
"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."
Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.
As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
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Riyo - "Logical Change"
People of your personality type should visit:
www.life-blood.cjb.net
What would your Japanese name be? (female)
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this is what happened when boredom strikes
i hate him so much
after all that i've done
all he can say is
"It is not my fault if i found another girl better than you"
right now still fell the pang from that word
and he even didnt call me back to apologize
damn him
i dont feel right
i feel lonely
im sick of myself
am i selfish
i want him to call me back
tho he already complained that he feel tired
and for sure he'll never call after that
i hate it
while it is possible to call
he choose to sleep instead of me
and rather spend 2 weeks alone
without my voice
without me
hate him so much!!!
finally got time for myself
plan for today
:finished tidying up my room
:go to someone's berbuka puasa
:start the reading pleaseeeeee!!!
fo some thinking::how does it feel to be in US
-nothing-
only the atmosphere is different
but overall
im not impressed at all
i think Malaysia is better country
our rate of development is much much faster that other country
dont believe me?
in 50 years malaysia already got that tallest tower, lrt erl and such
how many years the European takes to do the same thing?
nah im just doing crazy rambling
out of the sudden im so homesick
maybe because him calling me yesterday
make me miss him and home so much
wanna go home
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