|
something ordinary
last modified Sep 4, 2004 at 7:15
the most stupid politic party in Malaysia must be the PAS
damn them!!
Hey Nurul Huda is not being raped because his father is an UMNO you bloody idiot!!
If that's so, all Mahathir's children and wife must be dead for being raped by what? 100 sex-maniac?
stupid "konon2 alim" people!
stop acting like God stupid PAS ppl..
we've enough of that "God do this bad thing because you're not with us" thingy!!
God dont do bad thing you mofo!
people make sin not God
you should realize that Nurul Huda will go straight to heaven while you will go to the judgement day first!!
and please please next time
watch your dirty mouth!!
interesting idea
in my previous class before
i did a research paper on modern eugenic
one of the interesting piece is that
US govt has long ago implement a rule to "kasikan" (im cant remember what this mean in English) the homeless people, retarded and such in the name of social responsibilities
but i think the rule has been banished now
so to "kasikan" the raper will a little bit help the society
not only the "perogol bersiri" but also the child raper and molester
well
not really done for the day
but at least 2 downs one to go
and the hw that'll be submitted on Monday is pretty easy
right now mellowing down to Hoobastank's " The Reason". It's all Smallville fault!!
dont like the new episode of Smallville
Lana always get the cutest guy around while Chloe collecting dust
hah
right now thinking of closing this blog
really want to go back to pen and paper
but the heck
i'll wait until its one year old
and then im outta here!...maybe
i think i never turn away from a friendship because of a man
but i always being betrayed whenever my close friend got bf or something
counting....more than twice
and its all the friendship that i really treasured
dang!
maybe im too weak
right now dont really have personal attachment to anybody
really like it this way
oneself
whatever i do
i dont need anyone else
its better this way
absolutely not having a good day
slept at 5 am last nite and woke up at 11 to go to office hours
turn out my favorite instructor is not there and have to suck up with the lazy one
aaahhhh
spending 3 hrs in the room but cant even solve one problem
go to library and still cant answer the question
at 7 pm decide to back to my room and go to gym
back from gym ruin my diet
i started to binge again
really hate myself right now for that
the pressure to get thin before going back home is so painful
nobody understand
but everyone smirk at the idea of me being thin?
me?
really hate it
really hate today
damn it!!
i dont want to go through all this
but i promise myself
and i dont want this to be the ephemeral thing again
and i dont want to binge eating again
its hurt :(
hah
i cried on the way back home from library just now
-12C + gusto wind + 6 in snow = me cry!!
ah very very hate the weather right now
its make you wanna die
its colder that the year before
i really cant stand it
in my room, i cried again
i cant solved the homework problem
it takes me 2 hrs just to solve 2 simplest problem from the set
i hate physics so much
so i cried again
but i cant afford to flunk this subject
ahhhh
pressure!!
well i hope at least the sun will shine tomorrow
im sooo in the blues right now due to the cold wind and gloomy day
and tomorrow gonna be outta room all day
i hope i can make it to the gym
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
my hair kinda weigh down
so to the shower i go
dont really like heavy hair
now im smell sweetly like sandalwood
pretty much indulging myself in the shower
have homework due this friday
so gotta be busy
waaahhhh
i promised myself
this is the last time i mess up with my hw!!
what's up with Malaysian man nowadays?
urgghhh im so disguested with any rape case
esp when its involved little kid
damn it!!
nih dah ada bini pon nak rogol budak
babi cam sial
babi pon ntah2 tak rogol anak die
really afraid to go back home
will not go out alone
and dont think i will go out when i go back home
i hate strangers
to the max
i thinks its pretty safe here in states compared to back home
even living in your own house is not safe anymore
i think sex education should be introduced in school system
so that little kiddo will know whats right what's not
bah i dunno
we have known each other for 3 years now
and this april gonna mark our 2nd years together
quite impressive
for 5 months of Kl-Malacca
and the rest of a years++ US-Msia
i can acclaimed that we're the hard core long distance lovers
aaahhhhh
miss him so much
dunno what to get him for the anniv.
x-box?
he'll love it but its not romantic at all
darn it...
im supposed to study now
will have quiz this morning
but im such a lazy bum
arrhhhh!!
well...just now got a call from my friend
she's gonna be long distance lover like me too!
hey welcome to the club
its not so bad!!
hahahhaha
having a nice girls talk
its been a while since i have one
miss my frens so much
ahh need to go back to study
but im in romantic mood right now
please call me darling
i'll serenade you hahahha
and i dream that he dont want me anymore
whatdid i do today?
hmmm
-go to work within 5 minutes i open my eyes
-being sleepy-head at work (i owed that to my active friday night)
-sleep for whole day
-woke up late evening and started rummaging the tv's channel
-decide to color my hair (again!) this time im doing bright blonde
-showered and cant wait to see my new hair
-love the new color and decide to snipping some end hair
hah
i dont think my hair's color is bright enough
(black hair + blonde color = red hair)
well thats cool i guess
my highlight really shows up
well love it actually
although i know my boyfriend will kill me if he knows i color my hair again
he dont want to touch dry hair
hahah its ok i have 3 months to treat my hair completely
and make him bedazzled with my lovely hair
aaahhhhhh
but my face is totally gonna wrecked now
pimples start to come out
maybe because of me exercising + the very cold weather right now
aahh the weather
i hate the big snow
i dont have proper shoes to walk upon those crazy ice
have to walk very slowly and cautiously
and i guess the freezing wind cause my face to break out
ahh its has been what? 4 years since i have anxiety of pimples
really treasured this skim im in
so thats explain why im so freaked out to see pimples coming out from my face
hmmm pardon me for being such a bimbo today
talking about my hair
my face
and my whatever
after tonight i will never had a chance to take 15 minutes shower
or combing my hair
or watching my face closely
watching my schedule
im getting busy each and every day
i'll be more than grateful if i can shower once a day
(hey! i've gone through 4 days without showering and im didnt complained!)
but i will not ditched my gym every evening
they'll squeezed in my schedule no matter what
alright
need to start my reading
got quiz this monday remember
and i hope this winter blues my bodies having right now will go away
waaahhh
need to study harder
i dont like all my first assignments marks
need to do better next time
i know this semester will be hard
but i dont want to fuck it up
better be ready
have quiz next monday
lots of work to do
i think im falling behind in my class
i cant do even a single problem given
arrrhhhh
i really hate physics
on the other hand
i miss him so much right now
really need him right now to console me
i feel so low right now
this semester is so hard
and i can see it
ahhh i dont want to hurt my now perfect cgpa
aaaahhhh
please gimme strength
im so fuck-up right now
lots of work to do
i think im falling behind in my class
i cant do even a single problem given
arrrhhhh
i really hate physics
on the other hand
i miss him so much right now
really need him right now to console me
i feel so low right now
this semester is so hard
and i can see it
ahhh i dont want to hurt my now perfect cgpa
aaaahhhh
please gimme strength
im so fuck-up right now
waaaahhhh he called
in good mood
until i forgot to scold him
waaaa
miss him so much right now
almost cried hearing his pain
i hope he will be strong
"sayang suka laki macho cam ayang!!"
damn those ppl who make him suffer
damn all of them
i hope they will get back what they have done to other ppl
aahhhh miss my man so much right now
feel like crying
i know by the time my head hit the bed
tears will going down on my cheek
i miss you honey
i love you
WARNING: FULL OF JIWANG-JIWANGAN
nostalgic mode right now
hahhaha i guess it's been caused by that darn Edwin McCain songs
right now still remembering the sweet memories with all the men that ever find their way to my heart
(this doesnt include those one-month stand haha)
from all of those, one man certainly standing out
well i had the biggest crush on him
and i guess till now i still cant stop smiling when i see him
nope, he's not my present bf
well a lot of memories there
but sure i cant forget the night when i was playing sick
and complaining to his bestfriend (in case the msg will get to him)
and yup
he did called
with concern in his voice
and makes me feel bad and happy at the same time
bad for lying and cost his time and money for calling me
but happy for every single word he said
he's not good looking at all
i still puzzled why i like him so much
why i didnt just go on with him,you ask?
he said that he cant even take care of himself...for sure he cant take good care of me
so sweet yet its killing me
in the end im rebound on my current bf
much much handsome
much much sweeter
much much caring
just that we're to soon to be a couple
no memories on "mengorat"
hahhahah
ahhhh talking about this make me miss my bf so much
darling where are thou?
we have unresolved issue and im still mad at you
but i want to hear your voice on top of all
but remember im still mad at you for everything you said that night
how come you dont care of seeing me again
i've been waiting for one and half year for us to get together again
and you said you dont even care
but i miss you
and i love you
just dont say that you dont care about me
cause i know that you care
a lot...
come back to me
cause i need you
i hope what happened to Nurul Huda will at least lessen rape case esp children's rape case
damn it
i really hope that rapers(?!) will get something
damn them!!
still feeling sick and angry at all these thing
US and UK have very strict regulation regarding pedophile
even if you surf the porn website with childrens in it
you will be charged
sometimes such website is owned by the police (in UK)
Malaysia should do something regarding this
i know the term pedophile itself is not common
but i guess the number of those damn people is huge in Malaysia
remember bapak cabul anak, datuk cabul cucu?
they are all categorized under pedophillic behavior
so please do something about this
i dont want by the time i have my own childs
i have to give them in-home education (although i would love to do that!!)
i should start doing homework on my own
not googling for the answer
this habit is gonna cost me my grade
damn it!!
feel so dumb right now
cause never could answer even a single answer from my homeworks
waaaahhhh
where's has my intelligence gone?
(oh i blame the TV for this)
waahhh i heard Unsunghero won something from that geng jurnal stuff
congrats..you should thanks me too, u know
im among your first reader and commenter, remember!?
hahahahhahaa
me and my ego maniac!!
today have to fasting
im "over-eating" today
so need to shed back
dun want to gain anymore uninvited lb
and after maghrib..must go to gym
so dont ponteng aahhh
ok interesting stuff on TV
better go and see
I LOVE US CABLE!!
well kinda happy today
im lighter by 10 pounds today!!
yehaaaaa
finally going back old weight
but i aim for 20 more lbs
and i'll be happy more than everything
what else
have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow
must settle all tomorrow
including my homework
i miss him
so much
whoever want to try to diet
you should give Atkin's a try
its really work
but i think for Malay it is a lil bit hard
because you need to sacrifice "nasi" altogether
lord know how suffer a malay will be if there's no nasi
hah fortunately im not a big nasi eater
(sigh* that explain why im so thin before i went to States)
right now still in Atkin's Induction period
yup it really can contain your addiction to sugar
lost about 5 pound in first week
but more to go before im going home
warhhh
dont have anything to blabbing about
babi ah sapa yg rogol budak
omigod!!
that was sooo damn sick!!
nobody deserve the go through that
that explain why i dont want to open Malaysian news
each news is bad new
so fucking sick!!!
patutlaa layak jd guard je
akal sama ngan binatang
IQ takyah cerita ah
cam babi
sometime people who are too obsessed with some belief or at something (for example: political party) can be sooo ignorance
its apply anywhere in this world
but im concern most about my own homeland
damn it
i think i hate politic so much
my bf's auntie gonna get enganged next month?
wow its shocked me
esp when the man is 7 years younger than her
well he deserves that
her last bf just want her money
i hope this one will not fail him anymore
right now feel like having a fiance too
well i have to wait for him first
im just afraid this relationship will be meaningless
last time he called we ended up fighting (again!)
im so tired of him
its ok now that we didnt called (and fight) everyday
so im totally free from him for a mo'
im not goona waste 4 goods year just to hear him yelling at me
i dunno
its so complicated
no one will ever know why i didnt leave my psychotic bf
although i can!
arhhhhhh
the death of four little friends make me feel really sad
i dunno...
maybe because of their departure make me feel so sensitive if good friends die together....
i just cant contained myself
some news are so terrible to me and make me cry
just like this one
yeayyyy....
finished two of my homework
and havent started one
need to submit by tomorrow
hah
if not finished cannot go to class?
hahaha
well...
need to do well too this semester
everyone have their hope upon me
so...what should i do
have to settle several things before go back to Malaysia
i hope i can do it right
yeah and one thing worth telling
i have this friend from China
and he's really cool (cause he offers to help me with homework!! )
he shocked me when he tells me that im lucky to be a Malaysian
because i can get scholarship and go to any country we want to study
and he really into malaysian govt
he said to me "your govt knows that young people are the future of the country, and they didnt hesistate to pay for your tuition fees, its the thing my country should do"
(*for info, my tuition fee is almost RM900,000)
ahah...and he continues to rambling that if he have chance to be politician or something...he want to proposed regulation that will gave scholarship to over-achievement student.
but i dun think he want to do that
because i know he want to live in states
here in USA, the China-people really hardworking
although you cant understand some of them
they are the people who raise the min in your class
not that american-chinese one (they already live comfortably)
in some univ, Malaysian is also powerful
hah so dont worry
we didnt waste your tax money!!
"future of the country..." hahah so lame-O!!
He called finally
after a month waiting for his call
he finally called
from Singapore
hmmm that's mean have to wait for another 3 weeks till he
call again
although im so relieved when he called
i actually feel mad too
for what he had said just now
no biggie
its the same ol story
its not him if he didnt brought that stuff up in each conversation
im feeling a lil bit hurt
but again
im having my period
so maybe im just overreacted
i miss him so much
if just he knew what im feeling right now
im soooooo in love with him
i bet he never understand that
because he still see me as that naughty, bad girl that lies to him
im so sorry dear
it'll never happen again
:(
i want to add more day to work
i need that money to compensate whatever stupid stuff that i
bought during holiday
i'll email work today
i miss him soooo much
i miss him soooo verrryyyyyy much
although he makes me cry
he still the best i ever had!!!!
i feel mad
cause i never get what i want
the life i want
the love i want
even the figure i want
mad mad mad
stupid bf
never knew how to dial my number!!!!
i hate you
with all my bloody gut
i hate you
for the way you caused me to suffer
i hate you so much!!!!!
you are the most moron boyfriend one ever had in this world
sakit pinggang the whole day
im so furious
have to go through big line with pain in my back
and then have to stand in the bus with that pain in my back
well...
who cares
mixed up feeling right now
maybe due to the PMS
waaaaa
need to call home tomorrow before class
dah sebulan tak call
wahahahha
i bet my mom is cool with that
because i'm the one child who never call home often
since mrsm, uitm and now in US
well
im not that talkative with m family
its amazing how i grow up into someone who's so adverse to how im growing up
sometime i'll get "angry" email told me to send email back and call home
hahahhaha
well its better off that way
for me at least
waaahhhh
skolah dah makin sakit
and of course that tonne of hw
i hope i'll doing ok this term
aaahhh cannot sleep
that darn hormone is keeping me awake and fresh
at the time i dont need it the most
this month a lot of money flowing out
damn it
i need to get one more shift
to cover for the money i should save to see him
cannot do the shopping anymore
im done with buying stuff for people in msia
waaaaah
regret for shopping like one mad women last holiday
arhhhh
my goal is to get at least 3000 bucks before going home
please let me be strong !!
im feeling good
tomorrow need to go to get the coursepack
and take the term paper
i forgot to do that yesterday
what else
i miss him so much
dunno when will he call
its being what?
a month?
i hate him for this!!!
i hope this time it gonna be alright
sick and tired being some fat lady
nobody's know how its feel
next story
need to head start on my homework
get the coursenote
get the paper
o yeah....i score in my final exam last semester
hahahaha
im so happy to see my paper
what else to do
need to get some groceries
tgh moodswing
rasa sakit hati sbb berat tak turun2
i've controlled what i eat
and i exercised harder each day
but why there's no development
i hate it
ask for advice from successfull dieting friend
but she seems to ignore me
i dunno
maybe she's not like me anymore
damn it
once my collegue asked me
"is it safe for me to go to your country...well you see..im American"
with big smirk in me face "why not...we dont have terorrist there"
now i have to rethink my answer
"well you know...you might have to reconsider your plan..there so much killing in Malaysia...not included rape and beating!!"
damn it
im so phobia to open the news
afraid another killing news appear again
why's that?
is the rate of prostitute too high now...until they need to rape the helpless child
is the youth right now have too much x chromosome until they cant control the urge to beat some women up
damn it
get some education
and learn to love
i dunno what to say
except FUCK YOU DUMB-WILL-BE-PRISON-RESIDENT!!!!!!
im mad
did misha omar duet with somebody during final Juara Lagu?
if you happens to know who/ or if she doing duet for bunga2 cinta
let me know
cause im hearing this deep man voice in Juara Lagu mp3 that i got
well
tak berani amik 16 credit
so have to drop one class this semester
hmmmm
went to gym yesterday
sangat best
i use my one hour entirely to workout
right now can feel the ache due to stairmaster, rowing machine and such
waaaaa
if i kept doing this everyday
i'll be thinner in no time
hmmmm what else
right now very determined to lose weight
morning eat cereal ( not ordinary cereal..)
afternoon also eat cereal with 1/2% milk
then dinner have some tempe and a lil bit of nasi
snacking on cashew
and one hour of gym
everyone is supporting me
yg sorang tu sampai keep me feeling guilty when im trying to buy a packet of briyani
hehehhe
well once a week i allow myself to eat proper serving of nasik
the result?::in 3 days i lose 2 pound
yeay yeay
i hope this will continuously happen
cause i need to lose at least 20 lb in 4 month
cause by then i'll go back home and meet my family and my honey
yea yea
been to 2 lectures
so far both are ok
both are female lecturer
after this need to look out for text book
waaaahhhh
malas nya
with heavy snow and icy road
it so difficult!!
first day of school
boooriiiing
well..some advice
dont go out and see paycheck
watch Last Samurai instead
tom cruise is much better hero than Ben
plus paycheck just the recycle of Minority Report
woke up at 2
12 actually but i just lingering in the bed for another 2 hours
then my busy day started
send my clothes to the laundry and started picking up the trash
vacuuming and so on
then by 6 my room is spanking clean again
it has been helluva nice now
cause i can see how big my room is
and how clean my carpet is
he havent called me yet
i hate it
having PMS right now
feel bloated
havent eaten for 2 days but havent drop a single pound
i have tons of shitty friends
right now feel like going away somewhere
but the holidays is over
and he havent called yet
everything seems so fucked up
but hey
im having PMS
so dont bother
fuck everybody
|