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something ordinary
last modified Sep 4, 2004 at 7:15
wah cant believe im done with this horrible semester
yeay
a month more till im going back to Malaysia
uuu yeahhhh
uuuu yeaaahhhhh
4 more hrs to freedom!!!!!
all menteri are so damn stupid
especially Najib
i have my respect only to Dr M
feeling like shit
the exam is hard last night
and tomorrow got another exam
that im sure i'll fail in it
aaahhhh
just let hope i dont messed up so bad
i have to repeat the course
:(
i want to be a lecturer someday
its not that i love teaching
but i hate my teachers
they always give hardest exams
altho each time everyone flunk the paper
i dont understand a singlen thing in class
and they acts like who cares
i hate go to office hours and being treated like shit
im ok if you want me to feel stupid
but there is no need to do that in front of other people
i want to be lecturer
ok need to let go some steam
tomorrow is big day
got 2 finals coming up
another one will be on thursday
got my midterm back
yeay 
got 89/100
the two before is like 6+
let hope final paper tomorrow will be the great
im so fucked up this semester
dont really studying
dont really care about anything
in a way
its a good thing
cause i'll be motivated if i get poor result
perhaps i got 2.8 this semester
aaahhhh~~~
that blardy stupid statics class
i hate it
will be coming home soon
yeay!
see my baby
see my baby's mama
see my family
aahhh~
life is good
after final exams!!
so pray for me peeps
wish me good luck
cause i need tonnes of them
do you guys know
too much caffeine can cause rapid heart beat
hah
that's what im feeling right now
got too much caffeine from coke+excedrine
in a way its cool cause i can study
bad news i have to go to work early morining tomorrow
got a very weird dream
kinda sad actually
i whimper after i woke up
:(
i dream my boyfriend has an affair with other woman
and the woman's name is madonna
i was so angry when i found out about it
i ransacked the woman;s house
it is so tiring smashing all the window in the house
and so on
what a sad dream
:(
my bf mom call me just now
its seems like that man cause both of us to worry
damn! i hate this feeling
ok
its final
and i'm surely working my ass off
i want to score tomorrow's exam
and lets pray for me too
i have 2 more exams for that class
and i really really hope i can outweight my past failure
dang it!
Please God,
altho i seems like i dun care
but i do think about my achievement
please please God
gimme chance to prove myself again
pray for me ppl
i hope im doing great for tomorrow's exam
kawan's paratha roti bawang + maggie perasa kari save my life
dont take these little things for granted
its ease my homesick
who knows i can get all those thing in the middle of USA
oh im so touched
they are so sweet
ok
im so damn angry right now
esp at the malaysian paper
first thing first.
budak kena rogol masa kem PKN
-dah agak dah benda camnih akan berlaku
tgk ah suma pakcik2 yg jaga benda2 camnih
PKN BTN what thefuck suma tuh
muka suma cam kambing gatal
i myself against all that
its all because i hate the army-like training
i dont see any good that can be done to me if i get yelled by some old fart
or if i have to sit for hours to hear some damn crap
or have to run though those yucky muddy water
in that damn jungle trekking activities
whatthefuck?
dah ah instructor suma gatal nak mampus
lagi nak konon2 suruh aku jadi berdisiplin
fucker ah
kalo aku tak respek orang depa2 tuh suma dah dapat middle finger dah
and now budak kena rogol
dah ah kena rogol...
kena suruh gi second phase nye kursus
again...what the fuck???
budak tuh dah trauma
ko nak kasi die balik kat those damn instructor
fucker ah Najib yg buat benda nih
im so damn glad my lil sis dont have to thru all that
second:
Becham on the fist page
wat the fuck?
dah ah ambik sumber dari "laporan eksklusif News of The World "
its the same you tak resource from Harian Metro
its a damn tabloid ah bodoh!!!
mana boleh ko quote dari tabloid
even me dont like tabloid
and yopu quote from a tabloid????!!
what the fuck??
had a pretty sad dream last night
im gong back home and he's not there to pick me up at the airport
im so sad but still hopeful, so i get a room at a 5 star hotel
and have some adventure on my own
not really remember what i do
but i know it feels so heavy and sad
cause i have to roam the city on my own
decide to go back to my room
and spent a night alone
next morning i gave up waiting for him
and just about after i checked out
i see him outside the hotel
and feel so relieved
and he looks so tired
and he apologized for not picking me up at the airport
im so happy
i woke up feel so sad
i miss him teribbly
i dunno what got into me
but i feel so damn lonely right now
i miss him
counting the days
my tears are so cheap
they even come out when im singing to eminem's my band
i must miss him so much
i dont even know how much its huirts me inside
omg
i jumped at all phone rings right now
i miss talking to him so much
that i scream at the telemarketer
i want him
i want him
not you stupid telemarketer
dang it!
listen to toby lightman
ahh!!
i hate him so much for this
how could he left m alone
in the midst of my final
who gonna soothe me crying in the long cramming night
who gonna crack some jokes whenever im complained about being tension
who will assured that im a bright girl, im clever, im gonna make it
who will say that he loves me even after i scream out of tension at him
who will woke up at 5 am just to hear me said that studying is hard...and i dont want to study anymore
who will woke up at 5 to say the final gonna be kacang
darling darling come back to me
i want you back
i want you back badly
cant take this
i want you :(
come back to me please
even for mere 2 seconds
i cant face final alone
i need you :(
:(
writing formal letter (or email) much much harder to do in BM
ahhh why do i have to deal with bureaucracy!!??
i think i have to lay off for a few day
until my final exam is over maybe
aaahhhhhh~
and i havent yet start studying
hmmm
well at least i managed to do some homework
miss my baby sooooo much!!
he called me just now
je stranded in Jeddah :(
thats mean i have to postpone my ticket
:(
alaaaaaa
thats mean fewer days with him
arrhhhhh i hate when we have to plan in uncertainty like this
he never try to fnd out the exact date
but he expect me to move aound his plan
not mine!
ahhh so demanding
if its not for his that i miss so much
i rather stay here to work
and he didnt even say i love you at phone just now :(
7 more day to our 2 yrs anniversary
im reread my entry about him in my rpivate diary
and im so glad that i found him
im so happy that i cried
omigosh
it is so funny on how we started to be an item
and now i still feel so funny
a girl as stubborn as i am
can succumb to an egomanic like him
awww~ we're so fiesty toward each other
that that make our relationship always on fire :P
and i cant believe we make it to our 2 nd yrs
yeah and he promised me by the time it reach 4th years
im not his girlfriend anymore
instead i'll be his queen
ahhhh!
life is so wonderful when you only think about love
and specially awesome when im thinking about you
whenever you cried, i will hugged you tightly
you're my princess now, so gimme that big smile of yours
never a day passed by without me think about how lucky i am to have such a beautiful girlfriend like you
he's such a sweet talker
and i love being wooed by him
6 more weeks till we meet again
my gosh!
have spend 20 hrs watching some chick flicks
and my gosh
i am totally EXHAUSTED to oohhh and aaahhh over the handsome hero.
my god!
i cant describe how tired it is to wathced the handsome guy for 20 hrs
damn it
and i dont even know what the story is all about :P
well
i guess i miss my darling so much
its been 20 freaking month since i saw my boyfriend
its been 20 months since i go out on a date
its been fucking 20 month since i can flirt and being cute around a guy especially my dearie baby
cant wait to see him again!!
damn~!!!!
im soooooo excited
yeah im so damn tired oogling that guy cute butt for 20 hrs!!
omg "cool name" is sooooo ten years ago!!
i mean name like Daniel, Camelia the unpronounceable name are cool at my ages
but so lame now if you give your child that cool name
i think prof should give us holiday every day
so that i will get excited to go to class
i am sooo typical!
rebel at everything thrown at me
yeah!
10th year anniversary of Kurt Cobain
imagine how big he will be if he didnt commit sucide
danielle steel's son also have bipolar disease
one criteria of bipolar child is they mature too early
they also have high iq
that's explain why genius usually have minor and/or major depression.
so dont laugh at the weird guy in your class
because he might be a genius
and depressed at the same time
have a genius child is a bless
but dont push them
cause you never know what will get inside their head
kurt is a genius in his own way
his song, his words, his riff
and how he brought the great grunge music out from seattle
no
i dont have any depression or such
altho it sound cool to have one
im just full of angst
(drop the teenage, cause im not a teenager anymore)
but who cares about me for god's sake
focus your attention to my beloved Kurt Cobain
well
i should start getting up and ready for final
but im not
im just too lazy to do anything
feel like lying down and watched anime
or read book
yeah
i just borrowed 2 books on depression
"the bell jar" by sylvia plath
and "Prozac nation" by Elizabeth Wurtzel
hope it will be good reading
o yeah found the file for Cooking Master Boy
i follow this series on AXN in Astro before i go to US
and completely forgot about it until i do some surfing
now can wait to waste my day on this anime
and know what
Naruto got a new opening clip
dont really like the new opening song
but hey...its getting better each and every day
cant wait cant wait for naruto to finish!
rearrange my furniture
i hope this new arrangement will help me to study harder
yeah no distraction from anything
feel much much better today
after two hrs of crying
in which when i woke up
i dun even know the hell im crying for
damn the pms
really have a very bad pms
i think i never have passion when studying
i know the equation
i know how to use
i know how to extract information to be used in the equation
but i never understand
why the equation the way it is?
i never want to find out the theoritical side of anything
pi is 3.1472....
but what it really is
i never bother
i know how point defect in atom look like
i know how to find the spacing between the spacing
but i never care about what it really is
i guess im too exam-oriented
if i can pick some thing that i can put my energy at
it will be science of material
why?
i dunno
maybe i can understand the meaning of nanotechnology
i dunno
everybody sound depressed
if anyone deserve to be depressed, it should be me
i've been treated like shit by so-called "friend"
which will result in me not talking to her ever again
i have a long distance boyfriend who never knew when to call
or call at all
i flunk all the subjects that i take this semester
i have pms, yet ppl still act like shit around me
(fuck you damn whore)
got stomach cramp
not to mention splitting headache
and this damn weight issue
if you think you're depressed
there are ppl suffered more than you
im content with my life
i just need my baby
and that's all that i need
other ppl in my life make me suffocated
(yeah..fuck you too!)
ahhh
perencah nasi goreng adabi is soooo sedap!
i cant get enough of the nasi goreng
(yeah...i've been living on Fillet o Fish for a few month now)
got my hand in that Naruto game
damn im just plain suck
dont even pass the first level
hey i got motion sickness from playing video game
the only game that i can beat anyone is DDR
sitting in front of my table for 2 hrs
and only get 2 pages done
and manage to transfer the Weezer Blue Album deluxe edition to my md player
thinking of buying muse absolution cd
hah
and i dont even have cd player
what the heck all this cds doing here?
ok back to my homework
feel like running
but i got stomach cramp, remember?
oh too much weezer make me happy
got my hand in that Naruto game
damn im just plain suck
dont even pass the first level
hey i got motion sickness from playing video game
the only game that i can beat anyone is DDR
sitting in front of my table for 2 hrs
and only get 2 pages done
and manage to transfer the Weezer Blue Album deluxe edition to my md player
thinking of buying muse absolution cd
hah
and i dont even have cd player
what the heck all this cds doing here?
ok back to my homework
feel like running
but i got stomach cramp, remember?
oh too much weezer make me happy
oh how i miss you so much dear
damn this pms
make me cry each and every nite thinking about you
and smile afterward thinking about our plan to get together
i miss you soooo much
i love you so much my chest hurt
cant find the word to describe my anticipation
i want the beach to be ours
i want the ride to be ours
i want the highway to be ours
i want the flight to be ours
ours alone
i miss you honey
come back to me
i cant take this anymore
i dont feel like going home
can i stay wth you.....like forever?
i dont want to go back here to study
i just want you
we
you and me
we
oh i miss you dearly
your pics
its all that i have with me now
i want to feel you
i want to touch you
i want to kiss you
i want you
the whole you
the real you
not this damn square thing!!!
i want you
i want you
want you is all i care
life is much much greater when it revolves around you
still counting to meet you
well
have a pretty boring sunday
go to work, back from work, go out again to get something to eat, go back home again
yada yada yada
three more weeks to final
dont feel like study at all
let see what will happen in next few hours
miss my huney
counting my days to see him
yeay!!
you complete me
crazy about my new digicam right now
it can do self potrait so
that explains thousands of my own face in the first batch of pics from the camera
hahahah
i do look good tho'
ahhhh the narcistics side of me
well other news
ignorant people are sooo fucking annoying
if you hurts others feeling
dont turn it around and act like you are being hurt
fuck you!
watching my own pic
make me soooo mad at myself
how could i let myself to be sooo fucking fat
i hate myself right now
i really really hate it
from today on
i dont want to eat
get up and do my chores
ahhhh
i hate it
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