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something ordinary
last modified Sep 4, 2004 at 7:15
guess it's time of the year again
Selamat Hari Raya to all
i have three lecture that i cant cut on the raya day itself insyaAllah
unless if raya is on Thurssday
but probably not
anyhow....
drive carefully...please
what your favorite raya's song?
mine would be black dog bone "cahaya di aidilfitri"
when i was little, i will pretend i'm some kind of adopted child
and this works you know
cause my mom keep telling me to wash off her vase and crystal
and i will start singing this song in front of my maid
and that crack her up!
hahahaha
you shud see me
with dirty towel on my shoulder
and over expression
singing "siapalah yg sudi menghulurkan simpati...."
and my mom will say
"aaa...gi cuci almari sana pulak"!
hahahahaha
i miss raya
i do
been trough a lot of involuntary travel to old time
time that i dont want to remember
i guess i supressed them so long
now they resurfaced
i've been having nightmare for several days now
really bad nightmare that left me crying in my sleep
i guess the nightmare is the manifestation of my childhood
oh i hate my childhood
i wish my mom did not send me to the piano lesson
i wish my father's side of family is not notorious as they are now
i wish i'm not who i am then
i hate that time so much, i dont want to remember anything about it
my bf know im sooo uncomfortable talking bout my childhood
to the level i cried when he asked me about it
no, im not molested or anything like that
i think me being a prodigy got to do with my act then
really, when all the bad things resurfaced
i woke up trembling
four nightmare in 2 days
beat that
usually i forget all my dream
but not the nightmare
it'll linger troughout the day
and being alone right now doesnt help at all
i hate my childhood
o well
just done enjoying my super roti kawin
with real kaya okay
its remind me so much of my late grandma's friend kopitiam
the real thang' okay
with thick bread, smothered with margarine and kaya
grilled over charcoal fire
uuuuuuu....
my dad always bring me there whenever we went to pohpoh house
hmmm...now grandma's gone
everything sure changed
even grandma's restaurant is being rent away
she's too weak to handle the customer
and since my auntie has her own kopitiam
she couldnt take care of the ol' shop anymore
i miss everything there
when i was small, i used to be cashier
im too shy to take order, so i hide myself behind the counter
selling ciggarettes
i even memorized all the prices
and also home made ice cream
i just love playing with calculator then
im soo attached with calculator till today!
by the end of the day
my grandma will let me eat junk food for free
oh i miss her
god bless her soul
chinese new year will never be the same again
no more special mee just for me
no more special ice milo my grandma made just for me
no more angpow for sure
she will not be there to chase the dog away from hounding me
nor will she ask for 4D number, which i always give the same number everytime
and she still bought the number that i choose
i still keep the pic of us
im crying, and she whispered something in my ears
oh how i just love her
everytime i go to visit her
i always sleep in the same bed with her
never failed
i will strokes her gray hair till i goes asleep
i miss her so much
hulloh
just wanna jot some thought after studying
i recalculate my moeny and all that
i will be finally debt free by december
yes, still a long way to go
but that's fine with me
after that, the money is all mine totally mine
then need to think bout shipping stuff back home
my books definitely, some clothes maybe
need to do some shopping for new formal clothes,
new shoes, and of course all the corelle in the world
what else?
ramadhan is doing fine
although not eating much at iftar
i still dont lose weight
hmmmm why's that
maybe im really getting older
and that bloody metabolism has really run out
oui oui
ja ja
i need some love right now
gimme some sugar
a friend of same age is doing her master right now
aaaa the bliss of studying at home
if im not here today
im totally doing the UTM express thingy
by 20 i'm done with degree
and by now im happily done with my master perhaps
oh well, God has given me better chance
although it does takes away 5 years of my life just to get a degree instead 3 yrs
o yes, i definitely can do it in 3 yrs if i want
but im just a lazy bum.....
anyhow
how's your murtabak?
uuuuuu, this gonna be my last ramadhan away from home
goodbye pasta (or instant ramen), hellooo kueytiau kerang!!!
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