something ordinary

last modified Sep 4, 2004 at 7:15

totally pissed off today
firstly the ignorance professor
then the stupid lab mates

fuck off la wey!!!!

139731 | posted by utopia at 1:48 | 0 comments

memang totally exhausted

few more week and im donr with the sem
oowwwhhh i wanna feel the sun

139684 | posted by utopia at 9:46 | 1 comments

aawwwwwwwwwwww
someone being so sweet..

====================

i dunno what to feel right now
i feel like its an obligation
like i dunno

====================

i watched sepet
not quite up to my expectation
altho its much better compared to any erra's movie

i like it when they were so loud at dining table
jason's family
reminds me of my popoh
chinese definitely love to talk about anything during dining table
but my dad side of family
hmmm....
when i was little i was scold because i talk too much while eating

another reason to hate nenek
and to love poh poh

=================

139547 | posted by utopia at 0:34 | 0 comments

im fine for now
thanks for the sunshine
really make me a lil bit functioning

ive been in bad shape for freaking 4 days
really bad...

and no one come to me

139517 | posted by utopia at 17:26 | 0 comments

im in bad shape now
i dunno how to put it
but the situation im in right now
drives me to feeling very suicidal

very suicidal

in fact i use razor blade to cut my arm
6 lines
enough blood to make me feel very cold

but the cut is not hurt as much as my heart right now

im sorry

things are so crazy right now
i dunno to whom i can turn too

the fucking pissed me off right now
im crying for help
but nobody comes to me!!!!!

if i die tonite.....
:(

139383 | posted by utopia at 11:49 | 1 comments

its hard for me to talk to mr jerk without tears
and i cried today
i hate him soooo much
he is such a jerk

===========

i miss my boo so much right now

=============

i need to haul back my pc to outside
i've been sooooo not productive lately
i need to go through the report very carefully this time

and having pc besides the bed is not productive

==============

Terri Schiavo's case is a very sad one

"The dead already sleep, the remains are who suffered"
If im being the one who brain-dead
i choose to die and not to burden others
question is: can I??

I havent look any hukum syarak regarding this?
please share with me if you know what's the hukum about this case

"Just because you have the power to make a decision, doesn't mean you should," said Imam Sayed Mohammad Jawad Al Qazwini, of Assadiq Islamic Educational Center, Boca Raton. "Even if (Schiavo) wanted to withdraw the tube, Islam would say she could not.

"We don't have authority over our souls; only God does," Al Qazwini said. "Death is just a transformation from this world to another world."

But I would not agree to death by starvation
Slow death is crucifying
and starvation is the slowest death of all

139280 | posted by utopia at 12:14 | 0 comments

well
i woke up craving for some salmon teriyaki
and some veggie tempura

so i got myself some sushi
buy it dont do it
i need my bento now!!

and a tiramisu

cheesecake sucks if all you want is some mascarpone cheese smothered with coffee

hmmmmmmm

===============

i puked up all my sushi + cheesecake
it is not a pretty sight
there sunshine outside
so i take the opportunity to go downtown
and fulfilled my craving

i have tempura udon
which is soooooo tasty
and a starbuck caramel frappucino

nyammm~~~

life is good

139239 | posted by utopia at 11:56 | 0 comments

i was talking to one old Jordan man
while im doing my laundry
he asked me to come over to his house
and have some tea

it is arabic tea with hint of sage
and it is not bitter at all
in fact i love it

and also he get me to taste the shahana
which taste like salty cheese
heh

and i spend 2 hrs in his house talking to another granpa

and he lend me the best of fairuz cd
i always heard he played the cd when im on my way to laundry
i guess it is my lucky day

if you into world music you will appreciate this
it really soothe soul
aahhhh~

i love waheeda's song
i like it better if she dont pull that heavy arabic fused voice
and i appreciate Fairuz's voice even more

http://www.fayrouz.org/verybest.htm

try take a look
the woman is so damn beautiful
and she has the most angelic voice

139181 | posted by utopia at 21:36 | 0 comments

orait update on my study day
i found myself to be soooo productive
i finally get hold of the equations that i dread the most
because i cant understand a single thing in the class
but NOW I KNOW!!
gosh...

now i do believe i have a great brain
lalalalala

ok back to study
need to get very good mark tomorrow

i need a B for this class

i think i can do it
i hope

************************
[5.48 pm]
finished about 50% of the material
i think i can do the 3D eqn
and the motion eqn now
lalalala so happy
im not stupid rupa2nyaaa

owh owh
cant wait to finish all the mtl
i want to do the practice test to see how i fare
from all this studying

139119 | posted by utopia at 12:04 | 0 comments

i have only one day to finish all this crap
need to study for exam tomorrow
hmmmmm
but im sooooo freaking sleepy
lalalala

gah
i dunno why i love to procrastinate

oh i lurve my hair right now
the black part has grown long enough
to accentuate the blonde part in the end
lalala
stress has taken over myself for most time of the day
i dont have time to wash my hair
or comb it
or do anything
only yesterday i got time to do all the petty stuff
hmmmmm wish he was here right now
he'll say i got the most beautiful hair of all

139117 | posted by utopia at 7:48 | 0 comments

i hate it when ppl invading my space

139060 | posted by utopia at 22:49 | 0 comments

*taking a break from writing the lengthy lab report*

haaa i cant wait for the sem to over next month
the hell with the exams and all that
i just want to feel the cool breeze and bright shine again
im tired of this cold weather
sejuk tau tak!
menambahkan stress since i have to kept wearing my jacket while doing my report in the library

and shockingly i have exam this monday
:(
huwaaaaaaaaaa

139026 | posted by utopia at 4:59 | 0 comments

i have three large caramel latte today
and i still feel sleepy
i think caffeine did not do anything to me
seriously
i yawned till tears come out

BUT I HAVE A LOT OF STUFF TO DO!!!

O god please help me

139016 | posted by utopia at 0:05 | 0 comments

gosh!!!
being a senior is soooo demanding
just now im having completely 5 hr lab
and just got 2 hrs break in between
before i strated on my other work

pms+lot of works=mental breakdown

i definitely cursing myself every second
and i cried shamelessly in front of the pc for every 10 minutes
or whenever the simulation failed to run

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

not to mention another exam on monday
another rewrite due next week too
and another report!

i need some love :(

138971 | posted by utopia at 3:04 | 0 comments

i need an easy button

138894 | posted by utopia at 19:13 | 0 comments

oh and i forgot
5 days ago marked my complete 2nd yrs of writing this blog
and going on strong

138867 | posted by utopia at 2:02 | 2 comments

well got some ups dan downs last week
a LOT of downs actually
i cant take it anymore
taking toll on my life really

need to jump start my diet back
been off track lately
i blame the scale actually
gimme false reading
until i go check with dr
then i finally realized

so need to back to basic
and i declare i cant eat any chinese food already
i puked twice after a plate of shrimp fried rice
damn!
i really hate myself for eating all the greasy food

i need to go on
i have another 5-6 month
hope i can make it
!!

======================

he is my biggest critique
but he is a sweetheart too
i do feel pressure to be a perfect lady around him
and i know i did a good job when he give a killer glare to anyone who "whistle" at me
he is a very protective bf
and i like!!
from a view of strong woman
nothing compared to feeling of helplessness when around stronger man
talk about being paradox

i love you for what you did to me
although you dont care the end result
i want to make this life a happy ending
for both of us

i love you

138819 | posted by utopia at 0:54 | 0 comments

both of us have become health freak
im with my i-want-to-be-thin-again regime
while he is in i-need-bigger-arm mode

hah
i can see our house will full with exercise equipment,
pilate dvd,
protein shakes,
dumbell (right now i own 2, he owns one freaking set)
not to mention extender, medicine ball yada yada

well its a good thing though
if its not for my life here
i would never ever exercise
living in a place where the gym is free
and the exercise equipment is affordable
its a bless
and im making a full out of it
im an expert in exercising now
and in eating too
another 5 month to go till i lose that 50 lbs

yeah i will
just wait and see

and when i crave for 20 bucks of food
i'll buy a shoes instead
why didnt i think about it before !

138486 | posted by utopia at 2:07 | 0 comments

Highlights of the week:
Lavender Bath Salt
Cucumber and Melon Foam Bath
de-stress Vitamin C facial mask
a romantic novel
and three candle on the side of the bath tub.

Oh what a bliss.

Im combating with myself about ordering a delicious arthichoke+spinach Italian bread (i would love to try the arthichoke) and a fried calamari.
Then I decided to eat an unriped banana instead.
I have strong will finally yeah!!!

I think I lose some weight
Can't wait for my new pilate dvd to arrive
I want to upgrade to immediate but i think i still need some more exercise before i can upgrade myself

Buy myself a few new game too
-Katamari Damacy
-Karaoke Revolution 2
-Get on Mic
-DDR Extreme

im gonna enjoy myself over the spring term

138384 | posted by utopia at 1:16 | 0 comments

another 7 weeks of torture to be endure
im all out for that 7 weeks
bring another table into my room so that i can study in front of the pc
im sooooo fucking rejuvenate after the holiday
not really
hahahahaha

but im totally gonna face this 7 weeks with hard work

138349 | posted by utopia at 20:15 | 0 comments

so what have i achieved today?

-i put another standard on the report(good)
but i havent arrange it properly
still have loophole here and there
i need to continue after tv

-havent touched the kinetic yet
im supposed to master the first part but im not doing anything (bad)

-critique, havent find any interesting article yet

aaaaa
im supposed to holiday
not thinking about this stupid assignment

=================================

i want to buy a very nice dress after the school is over
sooooooo drooling over kelly's black dress
nice and simple and sexy
ooh la la

138270 | posted by utopia at 1:38 | 0 comments

im tired of doing nothing
suppose to rejuvenate myself
but instead got a very bad cold
nasal congested, light headed and all that

and also supposedly going back to basic
im going to do it tomorrow
for real

aaaaa

list of things to do in 3 days
-report
-critique
-group project initial report
-hw kinetic
-study kinetic

138217 | posted by utopia at 0:33 | 0 comments

the weather is just grrreat
its my holiday
i supposed to hang out at the bookshop
and read some book
but how can i do that when the snow is up to my knee

i want to do my grocery
but i cant because of the snow
i want to do my laundry
but i cant because of the snow

i love my snow
but too much of them give me headache

138098 | posted by utopia at 11:05 | 0 comments

all plan just went to drain

138080 | posted by utopia at 23:46 | 0 comments